Casey's Diary, Part Deux!

Okay, I am slowly but surely getting better. Ran five miles yesterday! My endurance is still good but I was a bit achey afterwards. Trying to eat healthier. Yesterday was great, but the days before have been full of junk food. Going to my grandparents' house from the 26th to the 30th...Nana is already talking about all the candy and casseroles she is making...I'm just going to do my best and exercise as much as I can. What else can I do? I don't want to spend the holidays punishing myself for eating sweets and cheese. Cooking vegetarian fajitas with wheat tortillas tonight...very excited! Also going to church for the Christmas eve service...I'm not religious, I just like singing Christmas carols. LOL.

Casey
 
I'm a total heathen - and reallyhave to check to make sure that the church is structurally sound before I enter -lest the ceiling collapse from my being int he building -but I love midnight mass -the candles - the carols - it's peaceful...
 
What a precious doggie nia!

You know why I don't like the holidays? I'm stuck with crazy family, I'm away from all my friends, and there's junk food everywhere. So I get bored and eat. blegh.
 
Hang in there Casey. What would we do if we all didn't have our crazy families force feeding us all these holiday goodies this time of year, lol. I swear I have eaten so much chocolate in the past week...............

Have a Merry Christmas :)

-Sam
 
Okay, so it's been awhile since I have posted anything on here. Family time this year was extremely challenging. Don't even want to go into all of it. I'm having a tough time looking in the mirror and appreciating what I see. All I can focus on is the fat on my body. I know others don't see me this way, but I still see myself like this and I'm still paranoid about it all the time. I am thinking of going to counseling, since it's offered for free at my campus, just to talk about how I feel with a professional. I just don't know how to motivate myself and love myself just as I am at the same time.

Went to Wal-mart last night and got tons of healthy food. Salmon, brown rice, frozen veggies, whole wheat pasta, wheat eggos and wheat bread, apples and bananas, soy milk, bottled water, and lentils. I really want to eat healthily. I know how to do that, it's the application I have trouble with. I do well for awhile, even a few months, and then I slowly but surely allow myself to eat more processed and fast foods. Wish me luck....
 
Good for you in treating yourself to the healthy food.

& trust me you aren't the only one who has body issues. I missed dinner at a new years eve dinner party since I was very late due to a freak out about how heavy I looked in every piece of clothes I own. My opinion is if the counseling is free on campus & the counselors are professionals, GO FOR IT! Just see if it works for you. Counseling isn't for everyone, but there is no better time to try it if you are stressed & its free. I'm lucky enough to have great insurance that pays for most of my cost for the therapy I am doing, but its still adding up with the copays. There isn't any shame in helping yourself when & how you need it.

Glad you are back. Hang in there & I promise exercise is a mood shifter. I can't always do it but I know when I am regularly exercising I mentally do better & have better body days. :)
 
Hi Casey, look who's back. You're looking great in your avatar. Just keep an eye on the portions while you're surrounded by all that food. Good for you for running 5 miles. I'm sluggin it out trying to get started again but I will think of you tomorrow when I'm out on the road. Just walk/jogging for an hour and I sweat so much. Its hard, but I'll do it again tomorrow.

I hope you're feeling better about your body. I had the same let down over the holidays when I saw photos of myself. Thank G od exercise makes us feel better. Thank god putting on a happy face actually leads to feeling happy.

You go girl, I remember reading in your diary how you ran in your sports bra and felt so free. You can do that again (well maybe when it warms up a little - or not, depends how free you want to be!)

Cheers, Kelly
 
Thanks for that reminder Kelly! I was just thinking when I was running yesterday that winter running is nice because there are less catcalls since I'm more covered up! LOL. I hope to get at peace with myself enough to do that again in the spring.

After two days of healthy eating and a four-mile run yesterday, I feel better. Not perfect, but a bit better. While visiting relatives our only social activities were involved with food, and I got to exercise some, but not as much as I'd like. It's nice to be back at home and able to do my own thing for a few days before the semester starts.
 
Ah Running. The only running I do is from the parking garage to the front door of my building where I work. It's so cold here and the wind is so bad in the city. Sucking in that cold air freezes my lungs and makes my face go numb!
 
WOW! a 4 mile run? Did you run the whole time? Thats amazing! I can't fun for even 1 mile straight! Someday I will though! lol.
 
Hi!
Thanks for stopping by my diary.

Wow, you did run a lot! I'm stuck to walking for the moment...running is too much for me!
 
It was about 25-30 degrees during my run yesterday...I thankfully had a hood but should have worn gloves. My fingers got back to normal after about a mile though. I ran the whole time, although mixing running and walking can be just as beneficial. My buns and legs are a bit sore today....I might just take the night off. Not sure yet.
 
Nice to see you back! Congrats on the running today. I ran some but, not four miles. I need to work back up to doing 4 again... I ate my ass off during the holidays, I am scared to get near the scale, I have healthy food in my house yet I can't quite get myself back into eating it again yada yada yada... It's the same story with me, lol SSDD.

Keep on running and I will too. And both of us are going to start looking in the mirror and liking what we see!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:)

-Sam
 
Thanks Sam! Hoping to like what I see soon. It's tough sometimes.

Yesterday was awesome most of the day. Wheat eggos, banana, and soymilk for breakfast. Small serving of wheat pasta with spag. sauce an broccoli and a baby greens salad for lunch. 1 crab cake, brown rice, and veggies for dinner. Then the culprit struck---Ben and Jerry's. Boyfriend was hungry so we went to Walmart and there they were. I got a pint of Half-Baked and ate the whole thing! I would be upset except it was so damn tasty. Still consumed between 2300 and 2500 despite the 1000+ dessert. I convinced my boyfriend to buy a frozen dinner with meat and veggies instead of a pizza and actually fed him some nutrients for once.

I'm not really mad at myself. I am just going to remember that splurge the next time I want something deep fried or sweet. The good news is I'm getting plenty of fruits and veggies and starting to eat more realistic portions (with the exception of the ice cream).
 
What are Ben and Jerry's? I'm sorry, I've never heard of them :) maybe we have them in Italy, only under a different name.

Anywho, don't worry 2500 is not too bad. You'll get them out running.
Have a great weekend!
 
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