Sunflower2
New member
Hope you're good lady!
Camila's Comeback!
- Thread starter Camila1
- Start date
You guys are seriously the greatest.
Don - Ah, just what I needed today, one of your famous motivational speeches!
I know that I really need to deal with what causes me to overeat in the first place...it's so hard to put a grasp on it. But I think my main problem is that I let things build up little by little. I'll be coasting along just fine then one small misstep leader to a bigger misstep leads to a bigger misstep etc...Not easy to admit that but definitely true. Thanks for the encouragement.
Fox - Thanks for stopping by and for understanding my current situation. Keeping things exciting and inspirational is really a huge one for me...however I have to be careful! It's like I find a solid routine that works until I get bored to tears...and then I try switching things up and I lose control. blah... Thank you!
Mandy - Thank you so much...just hearing someone believe in my right now makes all of the difference in the world.
Laura - Thank you so much. Honestly, hearing you remind me of things that have worked in the past, and then telling me to actually DO them is huge. It's like I allow myself to get frozen and I end up not doing much of anything. Ugh...such simple words but they make all of the difference in the world to me.
Justina - As always I appreciate the consistent support from you. I know, we all have these phases/times/moments...they just majorly suck! I'm finding that it's not so much about indulging in bad food as it is running myself into the ground. I'm working on it...I really am. And I may have been in and out the past few weeks but I am HERE. I will not permanently leave until I reach my goal....of being the healthiest version of myself physically and mentally.
Sunflower - Thanks so much for checking in. It sucks that a lot of us suffer from anxiety problems...I wish I could wave a wand and make it go away for all of us.
Seriously, the support means everything. I am finally emerging a little more from the 'dark side'....haha! The past few weeks I have honestly been set on self-destruct mode for whatever reason. The anxiety has been odd...more like consistently dull over the course of a few weeks. I got afraid of the changes in my body...I started worrying about everything....none of my clothes are going to fit anymore...why are the guys at work looking at me differently...I'm not actually going to pull this off, am I...if I do pull it off, I'm not going to maintain it...
Victim of my own success...hah.
I stuffed my face again this afternoon (cookies, pasta) and when I was finished I thought,
"What the hell am I doing?????"
I ripped out the scale to face the harsh reality. I figured I was near 160 again. I made myself look as a punishment.
153
"Huh, that's not so bad considering all of the crap I've been eating...and all of the exercise I haven't been doing."
And then I started to feel even better...to realized that my current trap was not irreversible. I went to the co-op and stocked up on my healthy foods again. I cleared the fridge of the culprits. I sighed in relief.
And now, on this glorious day...I'm going out for a walk. How long I will make it, I have no idea. But I know that I felt better about myself when I was on track, I know that I looked better, so I want to get back there.
This is my promise to myself and all of you: I am back for good now. And one day I want to be proof to all of you that you can fall off the wagon hard, that you can completely land on your ass, and still get back up, dust yourself off, and work even harder.
Thanks again, you guys. Seriously.
Don - Ah, just what I needed today, one of your famous motivational speeches!
I know that I really need to deal with what causes me to overeat in the first place...it's so hard to put a grasp on it. But I think my main problem is that I let things build up little by little. I'll be coasting along just fine then one small misstep leader to a bigger misstep leads to a bigger misstep etc...Not easy to admit that but definitely true. Thanks for the encouragement.Fox - Thanks for stopping by and for understanding my current situation. Keeping things exciting and inspirational is really a huge one for me...however I have to be careful! It's like I find a solid routine that works until I get bored to tears...and then I try switching things up and I lose control. blah...
Thank you!Mandy - Thank you so much...just hearing someone believe in my right now makes all of the difference in the world.
Laura - Thank you so much. Honestly, hearing you remind me of things that have worked in the past, and then telling me to actually DO them is huge. It's like I allow myself to get frozen and I end up not doing much of anything. Ugh...such simple words but they make all of the difference in the world to me.
Justina -
As always I appreciate the consistent support from you. I know, we all have these phases/times/moments...they just majorly suck! I'm finding that it's not so much about indulging in bad food as it is running myself into the ground. I'm working on it...I really am. And I may have been in and out the past few weeks but I am HERE. I will not permanently leave until I reach my goal....of being the healthiest version of myself physically and mentally.Sunflower - Thanks so much for checking in. It sucks that a lot of us suffer from anxiety problems...I wish I could wave a wand and make it go away for all of us.
Seriously, the support means everything. I am finally emerging a little more from the 'dark side'....haha! The past few weeks I have honestly been set on self-destruct mode for whatever reason. The anxiety has been odd...more like consistently dull over the course of a few weeks. I got afraid of the changes in my body...I started worrying about everything....none of my clothes are going to fit anymore...why are the guys at work looking at me differently...I'm not actually going to pull this off, am I...if I do pull it off, I'm not going to maintain it...
Victim of my own success...hah.
I stuffed my face again this afternoon (cookies, pasta) and when I was finished I thought,
"What the hell am I doing?????"
I ripped out the scale to face the harsh reality. I figured I was near 160 again. I made myself look as a punishment.
153
"Huh, that's not so bad considering all of the crap I've been eating...and all of the exercise I haven't been doing."
And then I started to feel even better...to realized that my current trap was not irreversible. I went to the co-op and stocked up on my healthy foods again. I cleared the fridge of the culprits. I sighed in relief.
And now, on this glorious day...I'm going out for a walk. How long I will make it, I have no idea. But I know that I felt better about myself when I was on track, I know that I looked better, so I want to get back there.
This is my promise to myself and all of you: I am back for good now. And one day I want to be proof to all of you that you can fall off the wagon hard, that you can completely land on your ass, and still get back up, dust yourself off, and work even harder.
Thanks again, you guys. Seriously.
ROUND 2
Hah So I guesss I am officially starting RIGHT. NOW. It's not that I am "starting over" really...more like starting a completely different game this time.
I just completed a nearly 5 mile brisk walk. It is gorgeous out, and I would have stayed out longer but the gnats were out in full force. It's supposed to rain tomorrow so I assume that is why. Anyways, the walk felt great. I feel like I kind of have to embrace being a walker.
It sounds so lame to say "I walked a few miles today," compared to "I jogged a few miles today." However, walking helps me re-adjust mentally. I never realized how important and vital that is to me until I stopped doing it. I feel "clearer" than I have in days. Everything feels okay right now. So I am a walker. I love walking. If it were realistic to walk everywhere, I would do so. At this point in time, no other form of exercise brings me such peace. I need to walk purposefully each and everyday.
That's not to say that I will not incorporate any other exercise. Hell no. Tonight I will be doing some free weights, and eventually hope to incorporate jump roping into my routine. I'm not sure how that will go since I live on and upper floor in my apartment building. However, there is plenty of space outside or in the basement, so if I really am motivated to use it, there should be no excuses.
I also sense some other changes. Today during my walk, I lamented that I felt horribly obese. Being at 153 felt unacceptable and disgusting to me. It took me a few minutes of dwelling before I realized:
"I felt this exact same way at 163."
When I first reached 153 after losing 10 pounds, the weight felt glorious, light, and all around amazing. My body felt leaner than ever. But now, my expectations for and of myself have risen. I hold myself to a higher standard than I did at the beginning of March when this wild journey began. And no matter what the scale says, that feels like a huge win.
Anyways, just some meandering thoughts and a double-post to prove I am serious about being back!
Hope you are all doing fabulously!
Hah
So I guesss I am officially starting RIGHT. NOW. It's not that I am "starting over" really...more like starting a completely different game this time.I just completed a nearly 5 mile brisk walk. It is gorgeous out, and I would have stayed out longer but the gnats were out in full force. It's supposed to rain tomorrow so I assume that is why. Anyways, the walk felt great. I feel like I kind of have to embrace being a walker.
It sounds so lame to say "I walked a few miles today," compared to "I jogged a few miles today." However, walking helps me re-adjust mentally. I never realized how important and vital that is to me until I stopped doing it. I feel "clearer" than I have in days. Everything feels okay right now. So I am a walker. I love walking. If it were realistic to walk everywhere, I would do so. At this point in time, no other form of exercise brings me such peace. I need to walk purposefully each and everyday.
That's not to say that I will not incorporate any other exercise. Hell no. Tonight I will be doing some free weights, and eventually hope to incorporate jump roping into my routine. I'm not sure how that will go since I live on and upper floor in my apartment building. However, there is plenty of space outside or in the basement, so if I really am motivated to use it, there should be no excuses.
I also sense some other changes. Today during my walk, I lamented that I felt horribly obese. Being at 153 felt unacceptable and disgusting to me. It took me a few minutes of dwelling before I realized:
"I felt this exact same way at 163."
When I first reached 153 after losing 10 pounds, the weight felt glorious, light, and all around amazing. My body felt leaner than ever. But now, my expectations for and of myself have risen. I hold myself to a higher standard than I did at the beginning of March when this wild journey began. And no matter what the scale says, that feels like a huge win.
Anyways, just some meandering thoughts and a double-post to prove I am serious about being back!
Hope you are all doing fabulously!
Laura F
New member
Ahhh, seeing your post made me happy! Glad to have you back and in better spirits!
Do not feel that you need to justify being a walker! Runners are just impatient walkers You remind me of one of my best friends.... Just today she was saying that she'll miss her long walks this weekend when we're due for some heavy rain. And not even a tiny little part of me thought "oh, how lame, you only WALK?" No way! Walking does wonders for physical and mental health. And even if it was only mental, that's still reason enough to do it. Some people reach for a drink when life gets tough. You reach for fresh air. Embrace that!
And also, I came close to a panic attack during a hike on Saturday because of the gnats and black flies. And those little creatures hung around way less than five miles :shudder:
Do not feel that you need to justify being a walker! Runners are just impatient walkers
You remind me of one of my best friends.... Just today she was saying that she'll miss her long walks this weekend when we're due for some heavy rain. And not even a tiny little part of me thought "oh, how lame, you only WALK?" No way! Walking does wonders for physical and mental health. And even if it was only mental, that's still reason enough to do it. Some people reach for a drink when life gets tough. You reach for fresh air. Embrace that!And also, I came close to a panic attack during a hike on Saturday because of the gnats and black flies. And those little creatures hung around way less than five miles :shudder:
Sunflower2
New member
Yay! So glad you're feeling better!
MandyH
0
I'm glad you're getting back on track Camilla! You're going to feel so much better very soon. I know I did when I got myself back on track.
I agree that it's not at all lame to be a walker and not a jogger. Myself personally, I don't think my knees will ever allow me to be a jogger, but I prefer walking anyway. I feel the same way as you about it. It's a great way to clear your head and just lift your moral. I've been doing a lot of walking lately and I love it.
Welcome back!
I agree that it's not at all lame to be a walker and not a jogger. Myself personally, I don't think my knees will ever allow me to be a jogger, but I prefer walking anyway. I feel the same way as you about it. It's a great way to clear your head and just lift your moral. I've been doing a lot of walking lately and I love it.
Welcome back!
scbibhouse
New member
Hey Justina,
Sorry I've been absent for so long...just too busy! Glad you are re-emerging from your 'darkside'..and ready for a great summer! Just stay on track, keep chaining 1 good day to another and before you know it, you'll be amazed. You've got to stay focused though and really minimize your 'cheat days'..it's all about consistency and making good choices...1 day, sometimes 1 hour or 1 minute at a time! We're rooting for you girl and know you can do it!
Good choices to you!
Sarah
Sorry I've been absent for so long...just too busy! Glad you are re-emerging from your 'darkside'..and ready for a great summer! Just stay on track, keep chaining 1 good day to another and before you know it, you'll be amazed. You've got to stay focused though and really minimize your 'cheat days'..it's all about consistency and making good choices...1 day, sometimes 1 hour or 1 minute at a time! We're rooting for you girl and know you can do it!
Good choices to you!
Sarah
Thanks you guys! I mean it, all of the support is so uplifting.
I am still around...just lots going on in my life right now!
As far as my fitness...it has been getting nice outside around here, but still pretty cold. I went for a 7.5 mile walk yesterday...it was glorious. But I could not help feeling like I wanted a new challenge. Which is perfect because...
My boyfriend got us a 3 month gym membership this summer. It is a small, local gym but is still open 24 hours. We went in at their 'busiest' time and tons of machines were open. So that was really fantastic. I cannot wait to start going tomorrow...just a bit intimidated because I have not worked out in a gym for sooo long. The fact that my boyfriend is starting to become an active part of my healthy lifestyle means the world to me.
My biggest fear is that I am going to push myself too hard at first. and basically self-destruct. I need to find a better pattern of positive thinking...negative breeds negative. I think it will help to just set some goals for myself, even if they are small at first:
-Five minutes continuous jogging
-Burn 500 calories in one workout
-Three different exercises in a workout
Small, measurable, attainable...
I know I've been posting very sporadically the last few weeks. Actually have just not been home much after staying with the boyfriend for awhile. But now I am home so I plan to be around! (I know, I know, the proof is in the posting ).
Hope you are all well!
I am still around...just lots going on in my life right now!
As far as my fitness...it has been getting nice outside around here, but still pretty cold. I went for a 7.5 mile walk yesterday...it was glorious. But I could not help feeling like I wanted a new challenge. Which is perfect because...
My boyfriend got us a 3 month gym membership this summer. It is a small, local gym but is still open 24 hours. We went in at their 'busiest' time and tons of machines were open. So that was really fantastic. I cannot wait to start going tomorrow...just a bit intimidated because I have not worked out in a gym for sooo long. The fact that my boyfriend is starting to become an active part of my healthy lifestyle means the world to me.
My biggest fear is that I am going to push myself too hard at first. and basically self-destruct. I need to find a better pattern of positive thinking...negative breeds negative. I think it will help to just set some goals for myself, even if they are small at first:
-Five minutes continuous jogging
-Burn 500 calories in one workout
-Three different exercises in a workout
Small, measurable, attainable...
I know I've been posting very sporadically the last few weeks. Actually have just not been home much after staying with the boyfriend for awhile. But now I am home so I plan to be around! (I know, I know, the proof is in the posting
).Hope you are all well!
So here is how my day has gone/will go:
Breakfast:
32 oz water
Blueberries with cinnamon & stevia
Mid Morning
32 oz water
Lunch:
32 oz water
Salad (Spinach, carrot, baked chicken, lite honey mustard dressing)
Dinner:
Not great...had a Subway sandwich (blegh)..ham, pickles, green pepper, spinach...and I got chips woops!
Guess I will have to make it up in the....
Gym:
My goal for the gym today is to do three different exercises. I am thinking these will be...
-Kettle-bells
-Treadmill
-Bike
Not sure about dinner yet....TBD!
Hope you all have a great day I'll be back in later. Hoping my first day at the gym goes well.
Breakfast:
32 oz water
Blueberries with cinnamon & stevia
Mid Morning
32 oz water
Lunch:
32 oz water
Salad (Spinach, carrot, baked chicken, lite honey mustard dressing)
Dinner:
Not great...had a Subway sandwich (blegh)..ham, pickles, green pepper, spinach...and I got chips woops!
Guess I will have to make it up in the....
Gym:
My goal for the gym today is to do three different exercises. I am thinking these will be...
-Kettle-bells
-Treadmill
-Bike
Not sure about dinner yet....TBD!
Hope you all have a great day
I'll be back in later. Hoping my first day at the gym goes well.
Last edited:
MandyH
0
Aw... don't worry about posting sporatically. Life happens. Just pop in when you can or when you need help and we'll all be here for you.
Glad to hear you're excited about joining the gym. I don't know that I'll ever feel secure enough in myself to join. I prefer to do my workouts alone. Maybe when I'm in better shape and get more confidence. It's also excellent that your BF is joining you too. That's some extra support that'll probably come in very handy for you.
I can understand your worries about pushing yourself to hard and fast. I like your mini goal ideas. It'll probably go a long way to make sure that won't happen. Just listen to your body. When it says you need a breather, take a breather.
Glad to hear from you again!
Glad to hear you're excited about joining the gym. I don't know that I'll ever feel secure enough in myself to join. I prefer to do my workouts alone. Maybe when I'm in better shape and get more confidence. It's also excellent that your BF is joining you too. That's some extra support that'll probably come in very handy for you.
I can understand your worries about pushing yourself to hard and fast. I like your mini goal ideas. It'll probably go a long way to make sure that won't happen. Just listen to your body. When it says you need a breather, take a breather.
Glad to hear from you again!
Mandy - Thank you! Life is pretty crazy right now but I've learned that I really need to learn to take it in stride. Also...I totally know what you mean about the gym. It's terrifying me. I will be leaving shortly for my first time there and yeah, I'm more anxious than anything. But I know that once I get over the initial visit, subsequent visits will (hopefully) be much easier.
Hoping that my mini goals work in my favor!
So I'm about to go to the gym for the first time. BF went this morning and he loved it. The gym is about 2 miles away so I am thinking of walking to and from since it is pretty nice out today
Honestly...I'm not looking forward to it. I am actually a ball of anxiety over it...but I know that it is something that I need to do. Once I get over the initial visit, I hope this feeling goes away. I know in the grand scheme of things this is small potatoes. But it feels big. Blah.
Anyways, just wanted to pop in to hopefully talk myself into walking out of the door...hah! :-/ Not sure how much I will be able to do today but I am determined to get through it.
Life is pretty crazy right now but I've learned that I really need to learn to take it in stride. Also...I totally know what you mean about the gym. It's terrifying me. I will be leaving shortly for my first time there and yeah, I'm more anxious than anything. But I know that once I get over the initial visit, subsequent visits will (hopefully) be much easier. Hoping that my mini goals work in my favor!
So I'm about to go to the gym for the first time. BF went this morning and he loved it. The gym is about 2 miles away so I am thinking of walking to and from since it is pretty nice out today
Honestly...I'm not looking forward to it. I am actually a ball of anxiety over it...but I know that it is something that I need to do. Once I get over the initial visit, I hope this feeling goes away. I know in the grand scheme of things this is small potatoes. But it feels big. Blah.
Anyways, just wanted to pop in to hopefully talk myself into walking out of the door...hah! :-/ Not sure how much I will be able to do today but I am determined to get through it.
Justina - Thank you! Yeah I was pretty satisfied with how I ate today. I am finally getting into a comfortable groove with my diet. I love soup & salad for lunch now. This is a far cry from where I used to be eating no lunch at all!
WOW. So. First time at the gym in forever.....
And I loved it! I totally believe in the idea of finding the *right* gym for you. I was skeptical/worried going into this new gym experience because I used to hate working out at the big chain gyms when I was a member. But thankfully, my experience this time around was sooo much better!
I arrived at the gym around 8 pm. There were two other people in the entire gym. It was awesome to basically have the pick of the gym and I felt more at ease with less people around.
My goals for the day were:
-Three different exercises
-Burn at least 500 calories
-Jog for at least 5 minutes straight
I started with a few miles on the bike and started sweating immediately! This was my first exercise bike experience and I can't wait to start incorporating it to my regular routine.
Then, I hopped in the elliptical for awhile before moving to the treadmill. Started that off by walking on an incline for 5 minutes, then jogged for 5 min straight at 5.7 mph, then did a cool down walk.
Lastly, I went to the kettlebells. I recently became intrigued by these and looked up some exercises on YouTube before getting to the gym. The workout I got from them was fantastic. Serious, it felt like so much of my body was engaged. I am really very excited about incorporating these into my workout.
Anyways, I met all of my goals for the workout! I also drank a boat load of water (over 4.5 32 ounce bottles). So that is really exciting. I know that I will probably be sore tomorrow...but I am so looking forward to making the gym a regular thing.
I've been thinking about weighing. I have not weighed in awhile. I'm not sure I really want to for awhile. For the first time I am actually excited about combining my healthy eating habits with regular exercise. Spoiling that excitement and curiosity with up and down weight fluctuations would just be no fun I want to wait until I start to truly feel different before I pull that scale back out.
Anyhow, that is all for the night! Hope you are all wonderful!
WOW. So. First time at the gym in forever.....
And I loved it! I totally believe in the idea of finding the *right* gym for you. I was skeptical/worried going into this new gym experience because I used to hate working out at the big chain gyms when I was a member. But thankfully, my experience this time around was sooo much better!
I arrived at the gym around 8 pm. There were two other people in the entire gym. It was awesome to basically have the pick of the gym and I felt more at ease with less people around.
My goals for the day were:
-Three different exercises
-Burn at least 500 calories
-Jog for at least 5 minutes straight
I started with a few miles on the bike and started sweating immediately! This was my first exercise bike experience and I can't wait to start incorporating it to my regular routine.
Then, I hopped in the elliptical for awhile before moving to the treadmill. Started that off by walking on an incline for 5 minutes, then jogged for 5 min straight at 5.7 mph, then did a cool down walk.
Lastly, I went to the kettlebells. I recently became intrigued by these and looked up some exercises on YouTube before getting to the gym. The workout I got from them was fantastic. Serious, it felt like so much of my body was engaged. I am really very excited about incorporating these into my workout.
Anyways, I met all of my goals for the workout! I also drank a boat load of water (over 4.5 32 ounce bottles). So that is really exciting. I know that I will probably be sore tomorrow...but I am so looking forward to making the gym a regular thing.
I've been thinking about weighing. I have not weighed in awhile. I'm not sure I really want to for awhile. For the first time I am actually excited about combining my healthy eating habits with regular exercise. Spoiling that excitement and curiosity with up and down weight fluctuations would just be no fun
I want to wait until I start to truly feel different before I pull that scale back out.Anyhow, that is all for the night! Hope you are all wonderful!
MandyH
0
Wow Camilla! Sounds like you had an incredible first gym session! So happy for you! I've always wanted to try an eliptical. Did you feel like it gave you a good workout? As for weighing in, that's totally your decision. For me personally, I would want to weigh in. Since you're starting a new routine I just think it would be cool to have your "before" weight recorded so you'll see how the gym is really paying off for you. Especially if you're planning to make the gym a regular part of your exercise program which is sounds like you will be. Congrats on a successful first gym session!
Trusylver - Thanks! It felt good to be working out hard again!
Mandy - Thank you! I actually used the elliptical as a "cool down" machine after going hard on the bike. I incorporated the arms to give myself a bit of a deeper workout as the legs themselves did not do it for me. It was actually the most boring to me...haha! And you are totally right about the weighing...I actually weighed this morning just out of curiosity. Hah
Blues - Thank you!
Today has been really great. I am actually super super sore from yesterday's workout so today is a day off! Seriously...the kettlebells kicked my a$$! Hopefully tomorrow I'll get there early before work...this meanings waking up around 5am.
Also tried two new recipes...and they are actually both Paleo recipes. I definitely would not call myself Paleo but accidentally found these recipes and decided to give them a go!
The first is sort of a like a healthier fried rice? Not really sure. Basically...broccoli, cauliflower, Italian sausage, red pepper, and parsley. The broccoli/cauliflower are prepared to vaguely resemble rice. Anyways, it is my favorite way to prepare broccoli so I gave it a go. The results were delicious. This was so easy to make (5 ingredients) and tasted delicious. I was worried that it might be bland but not at all!
View attachment 20766
The 2nd recipe I do not have a picture of...but it is essentially a chocolate/nut/date ball that is intended to mimic a Lara bar. These are sooooo delicious and only need 3-4 ingredients (cashews, dates, chocolate chips, and optionally cacao powder to roll them in. So great!
I also drank a bunch of water today so go me!
So that's my day today Hope you're all doing well!
Mandy - Thank you! I actually used the elliptical as a "cool down" machine after going hard on the bike. I incorporated the arms to give myself a bit of a deeper workout as the legs themselves did not do it for me. It was actually the most boring to me...haha! And you are totally right about the weighing...I actually weighed this morning just out of curiosity. Hah
Blues - Thank you!
Today has been really great. I am actually super super sore from yesterday's workout so today is a day off! Seriously...the kettlebells kicked my a$$! Hopefully tomorrow I'll get there early before work...this meanings waking up around 5am.
Also tried two new recipes...and they are actually both Paleo recipes. I definitely would not call myself Paleo but accidentally found these recipes and decided to give them a go!
The first is sort of a like a healthier fried rice? Not really sure. Basically...broccoli, cauliflower, Italian sausage, red pepper, and parsley. The broccoli/cauliflower are prepared to vaguely resemble rice. Anyways, it is my favorite way to prepare broccoli so I gave it a go. The results were delicious. This was so easy to make (5 ingredients) and tasted delicious. I was worried that it might be bland but not at all!
View attachment 20766
The 2nd recipe I do not have a picture of...but it is essentially a chocolate/nut/date ball that is intended to mimic a Lara bar. These are sooooo delicious and only need 3-4 ingredients (cashews, dates, chocolate chips, and optionally cacao powder to roll them in. So great!
I also drank a bunch of water today so go me!
So that's my day today
Hope you're all doing well!