Byebye Big Bum!

Hellooo lovely people!!
I'm back! And SO glad to be here!

Thank you all for the kind comments and well wishes - I've really missed everyone!!

Health-wise -looks like I've finally kicked this chest infection out the door after a second course of antibiotics. Still on steriods for the reduced lung capacity that its left me with however the last couple of days I have been feeling energetic and on my way back to normal...after 3 weeks of having no energy at all, this is GREAT!

Work has been hectic - I've been working at home a fair bit in bed when I've not had to rush around to meetings, so I was just knackered at the end of the day.

So, food wise...its not been great. Not terrible though as I've not had much of an appetite for big dinners, but I have had chocolate and sweets and things...I'm hovering around 184lbs which is fine with me...if a couple of lbs is all the damage of the last couple of weeks then no problemo.

I still can't do much exercise - its really frustrating not to be out there running but I am so wheezy and still coughing my lungs out every now and then! Going to try and do some gentle jogging in the next couple of days and I'm playing lacrosse this weekend as well.

So, back onto the straight and narrow for me I think. I'm planning a seminar that Mr X has promised to speak at for Nov/Dec time so I'd like to be down in the mid 170s by then. I'm a firm size 16 now and can fit into size 14 trousers but they are tight - this is a progression though! I gave a presentation at work yesterday and two women (who I don't know that well) came up to me separately afterwards to say that they couldn't concentrate on what I was saying because they were just looking and thinking where's the rest of jay gone!! :) Cheered me up no end! Roll on the Xmas parties I say - I'm SO looking forward to enjoying going shopping for an outfit rather than just feeling FAT :D

Interesting new magazine launch - what do people think of it? Patronising or filling a valid gap in the market?

I think the pictures look kind of weird (when you click through to their "gallery" page - which interested me, as I think that just shows how conditioned we all are to think skinny is beautiful! Its meant to be a celebration of being bigger, i.e. they say they aren't going to talk about losing weight or exercise etc... but I can't help thinking that is a bit of denial. No issues if you are size 14 or 16 or 18 but health wise..I dunno..I guess I've committed to losing weight so solidly that it feels strange to try and defend being happy being bigger...becuase I wasn't happy.
 
Hey Jjjay!

Glad your back and feelin better! Sounds like you had your share of illness for the next 20 yrs or so.

I should add you have been well missed.

Just wanted to give you a quick 'hi' before I shuffle off to bed.

Take care of yourself and get lotsa rest if you can!
 
wow. Have I had a ROCKING day!!! Got lots done, client work going really well - getting great feedback coming from all angles which makes all the hard work worth it! Another colleague asked me today how much weight I'd lost as she hadn't seen me for a fortnight and that I looked fantastic...that's 3 in 3 days...I feel GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!

Food today:
2 skinny lattes (150 cals)
1 toasted tea cake for breakfast (180 cals)
Small bunch of grapes (40 cals)
1 brown bap with plain grilled chicken, salad and black olives (400 cals? - bap but no mayo or anything bad so I'm guessing 200 cals for the bread and 200 for the filling)
Rainbow drops when I got home (puffed rice) (100 cals)
Mouthful of my daughters plain pasta (100 cals)
Grilled chicken, pitta bread and fresh tomatos (400 cals)

Total - 1370


Plus, I called Mr X today and he was, as always, really pleased to hear from me. Dunno why I still feel so unconfident about calling him...he couldn't get more welcoming.:waving: This was different because it was the first time that I had NO proper reason to call him at all - I didn't even pretend to have one. It was just for a chat and to ask if he fancied meeting me for coffee again - which he said yep, with no hesitation. hahah I guess I called to ask him out...in a worky kind of way! The other nice thing is that he's spoken to his boss and fixed up the big meeting for me to have - this is FANTASTIC for me career-wise. And finally, he was obviously teasing me on the phone (normally the flirty teasing is down to me...but not this time! When I pulled him up on it, he laughed and even admitted that he was teasing me to make me laugh). heeh Looks like I am breaking through that "official" professional reserve. :p

I tell you guys, I have GOT to lose some weight by the time I meet him for coffee next month and then again some by the time we have a big meet a few weeks after that. I am going to crucify this month with eating good and exercise - if I can't run or do aerobic stuff, I will do squats and crunches and stuff indoors at home. I was 187lbs last time he saw me. I want to be at least 7lbs down...so under 180 for me. Its all in the MOTIVATION!

So I'm BACK! and I mean BUSINESS! I've been slacking the last couple of months with holidays and feeling ill but that's no excuse for sitting around now eating chocolate -I have a choice and I'm making it. I want to be slim, I want to feel the way I've been feeling the last 10lbs but even more so and finally, I am the ONLY person that can make that happen. :boxing:
*cue theme from Rocky and Jjjay running up and down some library steps in Philadelphia*
 
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GO JJJAY GO!!!!

It's great to have you back to your usual determined self! I know you'll get where you want to be in no time because you are so upbeat and motivated!
 
Thanks Tigpuppy! I'm either massively upbeat or feeling down so I try to keep it on the happy side of life!! More productive that way!!

183lbs this morning on the dot! Woot!! 179 here I come just you wait for me baby!!

Ok, I was thinking of giving something a 30 day try...should it be Jillian Thingy's 30 day shred or this PX90 thing? Or any other recommendations? I want to blast through the next month and see if I can lose 3lbs a week.
 
30 day shred is AWESOME. It helps that I have a huge crush on Jillian, of course..But she really kicks your butt and stage one is still very challenging. I tried stage two and nearly died so it's best to work up to stage 2 veryyyy slowly! You need weights to do 30 day shred (if I remember correctly) but I just used two full water bottles instead :D
 
Thanks Sunflower - I'll give it a go! Now that its too dark to go running in the evenings or early mornings, plus my lungs are still failing to function...I am lookign for something to do at home in the sitting room before work or bed. I'm tinkering with the idea of buying a wii and getting wii fit but might wait and get that for Christmas!

(EDIT: oh my god. I just tried level 1 and could only do the first 10 mins. It is TOUGH! Especially in my weakened conditioN!!)

I played lacrosse yesterday and nearly died. I was coughing so much I thought I'd end up peeing myself!! We lost...not a suprise as we didn't have enough players to have any subs on the bench and they had a squad of 18...so rolling subs throughout the whole game whilst we all got knackered!! I was playing in slowmo as well as I wasn't feeling well...not a good state when you are a goalie!! Nevermind, it was better than dropping out and leaving them with no-one in goal.

On that basis of that failure to run around much, I'm dubious about setting off for a run and finding myself out a few miles from home wheezing and struggling. So, home exercise for me for a while.

Food yesterday:

3 cups of tea - (30 cals)
1 bottle of low cal lucozade drink (50 cals)
Low cal chicken salad sandwich no mayo (285 cals exactly!)
Potato snacks (97 cals)
Bowl of beef hotpot (no idea...it was a smallbowl though so I'm going to guess 500 cals as a generous estimate)
Chinese meal (1000 cals - I didn't drink any alcohol and didn't pig out)

Total - around 2000 cals


I feel like I've got to another point...I'll try and explain it...like, I've been mid-lower 180s now for a couple of months so my expectations have changed. THIS is now my "current weight" - its not the "wow look how low I've bounced down to and OMG my body has changed", its now "ok, so this is what I weigh and look like....what's the next level down?". I can't imagine being 188 or 192lbs again - I wouldn't let it happen. I am now 182 - 184lbs and thats the top end of my new scale - so to speak.

Being a size 14 too (uk so I guess thats a US 12?), will be another big thing. That's like, not fat. Its on the high/curvy end of trim but its not fat. 16 on the other hand is the low end of fat :) heh. Funny how we conceptualise these things!
 
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Nice to hear you sounding healthier and happier but don't overdo it. Don't want you to have a relapse.
Looking forward to the next stage in the Mr X saga!!! :D
Naughty naughty recommending Flumsey to eat vindaloo:biggrinjester:
 
Nice to hear you sounding healthier and happier but don't overdo it. Don't want you to have a relapse.
Looking forward to the next stage in the Mr X saga!!! :D
Naughty naughty recommending Flumsey to eat vindaloo:biggrinjester:


Ok...now you got my curiosity!!!!


DO TELL PLEASEEEEE!!!!!!

:willy_nilly:
 
Make sure you give yourself plenty of time to rest. We don't want to be without you again for so long! You are really missed around here when you disappear for days at a time.
 
hey guys :D

Thanks for teh posts - I am trying not to overdo it...and give myself time to rest and recover. Its frustrating though as I really want to be out there running or to push myself to do (even level 1 of...) the 30 day shred video. But I can't. I just can't physically do it, not even with all the will in the world.

So, I've been do core ab work instead at night - just 15 mins or so of a dvd that I have. It doesn't provoke my lungs at all but boy, do my abs hurt!!

Food today:
ham sandwich for breakfast - 285 cals
3 cups of tea - 30 cals
small burger and chips for lunch - (work lunch out....it was a "lunch size" small gormet burger though, so I'd say 200 cals for the meat, 180 cals for the bun, 80 cals for the bacon, 300 cals for teh chips = 760)
carrots for a snack - 52 cals
potato snacks - 97 cals
grapes - 40 cals
low cal/low fat chicken meal - 330 cals

Total = 1594 cals


Wore a pair of size 16 trousers today that are getting a bit baggy on the waist - w00t! Plus I bought some ladies double cuff work shirts on ebay in a size 16 and now that they've arrived...they are kind of too baggy.... However, I feel more "rolly polly" around the stomach area - not sure that I am actually more than before, but I feel it - so I want to try and tone up a bit more there as I lose weight.

Anyhow, bath and bed for me...I'm shattered!
 
Wore a pair of size 16 trousers today that are getting a bit baggy on the waist - w00t! Plus I bought some ladies double cuff work shirts on ebay in a size 16 and now that they've arrived...they are kind of too baggy.... However, I feel more "rolly polly" around the stomach area - not sure that I am actually more than before, but I feel it - so I want to try and tone up a bit more there as I lose weight.

Yay for baggy clothes!!!! Isn't that a great feeling? I plan to go thru my closet again this weekend because I have a lot of stuff that's too big (pants especially - though you call them trousers, right?) to the point that they literally fall off already. They were baggy before, but would just catch on my hips without completely falling off, though they looked terrible hanging so low on me. I can't get away with that any more. And I've already had enough embarrassing clothing incidents in my life to last me the entire rest of my life - so I don't need any more!

I've always thought it would be nice to have some sort of weight loss 'club' where everyone just sort of trades clothes around as they lose so we don't all have to keep buying clothes that won't fit us for very long. This whole weight loss thing would be much easier on the pocket book that way!

Just curious - do you notice that your belly gets really soft and squishy right before you have another whoosh? And then after it's almost like it toughens up and gets sort of lumpy? I've noticed that over and over again. The first time it happened and I got to the 'after' part where it feels a bit lumpy I was worried that I had some sort of cycsts or tumors under my skin that were hidden by my fat. But they always disappear. At least so far they have.

With all the ab work you're doing I can't wait to see your new washboard abs soon!
 
Yay for baggy clothes!!!! Isn't that a great feeling? I plan to go thru my closet again this weekend because I have a lot of stuff that's too big (pants especially - though you call them trousers, right?) to the point that they literally fall off already. They were baggy before, but would just catch on my hips without completely falling off, though they looked terrible hanging so low on me. I can't get away with that any more. And I've already had enough embarrassing clothing incidents in my life to last me the entire rest of my life - so I don't need any more!
LOL, I can't help it but imagine a really big baggy pair of pants (i.e. knickers!!) - pants can never mean anything else in the UK...in particular, the word conjurs up images of large, white, men's "Y" fronts!! Probably a bit grubby and stained too!!

I've always thought it would be nice to have some sort of weight loss 'club' where everyone just sort of trades clothes around as they lose so we don't all have to keep buying clothes that won't fit us for very long. This whole weight loss thing would be much easier on the pocket book that way!

I completely agree - I had aload of really nice work clothes that were all far too big for me so I gave them all to a charity shop to sell...it was almost a complete work wardrobe and most of it quality - I would have bought it again in a smaller size if I could!

Just curious - do you notice that your belly gets really soft and squishy right before you have another whoosh? And then after it's almost like it toughens up and gets sort of lumpy?
Nope, but I will keep an eye out from now on!! At least, I'm hoping that's the reason why I feel a bit rolly polly at the moment...!!
Urgh, I wish for washboard abs! Its quite a good dvd actually - part of the 10 mins range - 6 abs workouts, 10 mins each, and you can either pick one or two, or do the whole 60 mins if you are hard core!! LOL! I like that its not just crunches - but stuff like stretches standing up, planks and other moves all designed to work your abs and core. It kind of tricks me into doing abs work without feeling like I am... Tough going though...

Today was a good and BAD day. I very very nearly reached for the vending machine chocolate just before going home but interestingly, I thought it through and recognised that it was because I'd just had a crappy end to the day - complete comfort eating.

Food list first and then I'll run through why I had such a good/bad time today (even if no-one is really reading this, I find it helps to type it out and get it out of my system!).

Food:
Toasted onion bagel with low fat spread - 260 cals
pack of potato snacks - 99 cals
3 cups of tea - 30 cals
1 small vending chocomilk drink - 80 cals
Grapes - 100 cals
Plain salad with 3 slices of low fat ham - 66 cals plus 99 cals = 165 cals
a few of my daughters sweets - 100 cals (don't think i got this many LOL but being prudent!)
Low cal ww meal - 245 cals

Total = 1079


Ok, bad day bit first - my deputy asked for 5 mins in private today and told me he was pretty much going to resign because another competitor has offered him something really good career wise. Sigh. BIG SIGH. He is really useful, is learning more and more and taking more work off of mine and my boss's hands. I don't know how we are going to go back to doing all of it by ourselves. Plus, I had really high hopes for him for the future - he had real potential to be very good at what we do, and in my business, people like that are few and far between. I vaguely hope that my boss's boss might be able to offer him incentive to stay, but I'm guessing that it won't happen.

Good day bit...and skip this if I just sound all girly and enamoured!! One of my clients is doing a complicated transaction and this means I am going to need to discuss it in depth over the next few months with Mr X - w00t! But, its not problematic...so we won't be arguing or negotiating...but more, kind of working together to get to the right place. I'm looking forward to this as the last time we were working on the same thing, it was a bit more antagonistic and we didn't know each other...and managed to see through all that and start to become friends; so it will be interesting to see what happens this time :D Everytime we speak now, he drops what I'd call "hooks" into the conversation that mean I have reasons to call him at a later stage - like telling me to call him to tell him what I thought of a friend of his that I need to speak to...or making a bet with me for some meaningless small amount of money...There's like an implied thing that we will talk regularly - and I would really miss it now if we didn't.

Mr X is worried that this month brings news as to whether his department grows or shrinks or what on earth happens...so everything is up in the air for a bit. I really hope everything is ok for him - it was also kind of nice that he was telling me about it though and said that he wanted to wait to meet me until after he knew so we could talk about it.

I really really fancy going for a run tonight but no-one to look after my daughter and as winter is drawing in, the nights get darker so much earlier which is a shame. I probably wouldn't make it very far but for the first time in a long time, I feel like I have enough energy to at least try a little bit. 186 on the scales this morning but 184 tonight - really dipping up and down at the moment so trying not to get too demotivated as I can be 183lbs the next day...so close to 179...but not there! I need to have a few more 1200 cal days and get back to exercising properly I reakon.
 
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okkk dokeyyy,

Food:
Toasted onion bagel with low fat spread - 260 cals
pack of potato snacks - 99 cals
2 cups of tea - 20 cals
Grapes - 100 cals
2 small filled rolls and 1/4 sandwich at work buffet, plus a handful of crisps - 500 cals
Grilled chicken, toasted pitta bread and fresh tomatos - 350 cals
Chunk of chocolate - 80 cals

Total = 1409 cals


Definitely feeling more energetic...going to get running again soon! 183lbs on the scales this evening - on the UP!!! or rather, that should be ON THE DOWN!! LOL!

Going to go and do abs dvd and then try on all my work suits to sort out what's too big and what trousers I've got in the next size down.
 
LOL, I can't help it but imagine a really big baggy pair of pants (i.e. knickers!!) - pants can never mean anything else in the UK...in particular, the word conjurs up images of large, white, men's "Y" fronts!! Probably a bit grubby and stained too!!

GROSS!!!!!!!!! I will never be able to get that mental image out of my mind!!!
 
Exactly!! And that is what comes to mind when you americans say "pants"!!! Don't even get me started on what "fannypack" means to us Brits! LOL

182.6lbs this morning on the scales...getting there! Plus abs dvd hurt less last night...I might actually be able to do more than 10 mins soon!

Dress down day at work today - w00t! I love it since they made every Friday dress down rather than just month end - so much more fun. Going out to lunch with my closest friend at work who has been working away a lot recently so not got to see her much - looking forward to that but going to have to try and be good re what I eat!

Looking forward to the weekend too - I'm either going to try a big long (slow) run tomorrow -something very loopy with a pub/cafe in the middle for a drink and a rest OR go sailing if my friend is free to meet up.

Not bought any chocolate from the vending machine for a few days now too and NOT gone to starbucks for any coffee - that's an achievement given the week I've had! It only ends up being 100 - 300 calories a day but it all adds up...probably to nearly 1/2 a pound per week.

Might have to call Mr X today...ooooh....depends how far I get with my technical analysis. Ha. That's an incentive to work if ever there was one!

Have a good day everyone!
 
Yayy, I was missing updates on Mr X and now you'll be speaking to him lots and lots! And you'll look smokin' hot if you have to meet for a "work lunch". ;)

Keep kicking butt, Miss Jay!
 
Food:
Toasted onion bagel with low fat spread - 260 cals
pack of potato snacks - 99 cals
3 cups of tea - 30 cals
Grapes - 100 cals
Chicken pho soup - 330 cals
Grilled chicken, toasted pitta bread and fresh tomatos - 350 cals
Chunk of chocolate - 160 cals
Small banana - 80 cals

Total - 1409


Had a great day today at work! Nice lunch with my bestie mate at work - snuck off for a quick soup as we've both been really busy lately and not much chance to catch up. Just before we went, I walked up to her and two other ladies on the same floor and they all turned round and said how great I was looking today - I was moaning that I had a problem - I showed them my corporate photo that was going to be printed with an article I've written - it was taken when I was 2 stone heavier but I won't get a new one taken until a week after the copy deadline...problem is...its an article that may well be shown to quite a few people (Mr X included) as it is in a journal that goes to a really wide readership in our industry and it doesn't look like me any more!!

Yayy, I was missing updates on Mr X and now you'll be speaking to him lots and lots! And you'll look smokin' hot if you have to meet for a "work lunch". ;)

hehehe so its not just me rambling on to myself then!? phew!

I called him today :D 5 mins before he was due to go home and he was STILL happy to hear from me! I joked about how he must have been sitting there debating whether to even answer the phone at that time and he said it had crossed his mind but he was pleased that he did and then even though I said it was just a quick call to arrange a time in our diaries next week for a technical discussion, he went on chatting and chatting. We finished with him saying that he was looking forward to spending an interesting afternoon talking to me next week (even though I'd said I only needed half an hour or hour of his time!). I am becoming less and less of the mind that this isn't reciprocated. :blush5:

Best thing is, on the day we arranged, I'm working from home (and told him this), so will be free to talk as much as we like...

I do have a bit of a silly grin on my face...he sounded really happy to hear from me as opposed to thinking "this woman calls me every week now!".

When on earth am I going to get some confidence?! This is mad. I am young, attractive, getting slimmer (i.e. not at first glance "fat" now, just "busty" or "curvy"), fiercely intelligent (oh, yes, I can certainly give him a run for his money) and fun. So why do I find it so hard to believe that someone might actually like me? I can walk into a nightclub and flirt and think to myself, yep, that guy fancies me. But when I get to be friends with a guy....I start thinking that he must just want friendship or he would have tried something on. But I always seem to get in that situation with guys who have something to lose if they make a move and its unwanted.

oh and yes. I WILL LOOK SMOKIN' in the next month or so... I am SO nearly in those size 14 trousers....wearing a size 14 top today which I was chuffed with :D and going to go for a big run tomorrow to blow out those cobwebs!
 
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