Bubbles: The Diary

I make sure that what I do put on my plate is a well-rounded, nutritious meal that should be sufficient to get me through until the next mealtime. Snacking is the killer. After my evening meal, I will have a little fruit, sometimes with yoghurt if my evening meal wasn't very big. I have protein with every meal.
 
Thanks for the commiserations, Alligatorob. Yes I think that is the key. Having somewhat of a plan at what the next meal will be and when, then just put it out of my mind.

I think overeating makes me restless! It's so bizarre. It's as if my body says "Ok we've got all these extra calories, we're not sitting still now! Not for the next three days!" and then I have to sit still for three days (work). So, eating the right amount of food, to slightly less than I need, gives me energy. But it's controllable, evenly keeled energy.

Cate, I'm definitely trying to make sure I've got a well rounded meal too. It certainly helps.

I consider today a major success because I have - so far - managed to stick to three meals! No endless snacks as well as meals. I'm very happy about this because it proves to me that it's possible for me to have a life outside of thinking about all that food a few feet away in my kitchen, ALL the time. I hope to make this a habit. I actually feel somewhat normal again.
 
Interesting findings! All week I have managed to stick to three meals a day - no snacks, not even tea or coffee in between meals, just water. The longest stretch has been between noon (lunch) and about 8pm (dinner). Here's what I discovered about my mind and body in the process:
- Turns out I CAN last perfectly well, function perfectly fine with hunger pangs. The world does not come to an end, my brain doesn't implode and I don't keel over.
- Looks like about 7pm might be the sweet spot for eating late enough to not be trying to get to sleep with hunger pangs. I have no interest in that. And it's early enough to not get acid reflux when I try to go to sleep.
- It doesn't matter how much I eat, when. I have a certain amount of food/calories that is 'just right', each time (no idea what those calorie amounts are and it's best for me that I don't go that route). So even though for the purpose of this experiment this week, I have not given myself any restrictions at all - nothing is off limits during the meal time - overeating just doesn't help me at all. As long as I eat enough food for my fullness receptors to kick in, there won't be any difference in how satiated I feel until the next meal. It stays the same, stuffed or not. Only difference is I feel like crap when stuffed. And that makes zero sense.
- I have no idea what my weight is doing. I don't think I have gained any but I don't feel super skinny either. I don't think I will weigh myself until I have settled into this better and got a handle on how much food to eat during a meal. I think once I get to that point I will start to lose weight, or rather my body will take care of any excess weight I have.

It feels so good to not be thinking about food all the time. I hope this lasts.
 
i like your experiment and I may be stealing it. Always looking for ways to make feeding myself feel like less pressure.
 
Thanks LaMaria and Cate!

Steal away! I just want whatever system I end up using to be extremely user friendly. It's good to experiment with what works for you in particular, and build on that. That's what I'm trying to do anyway.

Less pressure is a good thing when it comes to food and eating, I think. One of my main goals is to shrink eating from the spectre in the corner of the room that it has become for me over decades of false correlations and self-loathing, down to a normal thing I used to do just fine before I thought I needed to diet at 15 (I didn't). I've learned all the other dieting stuff in the process and don't really need to scrutinize that any more. I feel like I know it by heart. So that's a load off, too.
 
MsBubbles said:
One of my main goals is to shrink eating from the spectre in the corner of the room that it has become for me over decades of false correlations and self-loathing, down to a normal thing
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I can sure understand that, but it seems to me that as I have been dieting eating has not become any less of a thing. Just one I have been able to better control. Now I am looking forward to fruit or yogurt or something, but still thinking about it too much. Hope you can do better than I.
LaMaria said:
If epiphanies caused lasting changes we´d all be perfect
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What a great thought, and so true!
 
All my non-food-related epiphanies work out just fine :rotflmao:. Ain't that the way :rolleyes:.

Alligatorob - you're doing SO well, and have done so well! Keep going.

I finally weighed myself Saturday and have lost a kilo/2 lb or thereabouts since resurrecting this journal. So yay. Now that I've got my exercise routine/sports training figured out (actually doing it), plus figured out how to not think about food 24/7, the next thing is to eat just a little less. Or get myself used to eating the right amount of food for me, at mealtimes. It's tricky on the days following, say, a 30 mile skate, because the hunger waves are overwhelming during those times. 30 miles = approx 2.5 - 3 hours of hard skating, or 1600 - 2200 cals burned during the skate alone. My body doesn't let me forget that. But the rest of the time, the meals and food and hunger pangs are pretty predictable.

I started running through my mind this morning, searching for what to do, to reduce my caloric intake just enough to lose the final 10 lb (or at least get rid of the fat) and I started saying to myself "Well this one worked (no sugar, or vegan, or paleo, or low carb, or calorie counting, etc.)", but then I remembered that kind of restricting of anything at all just doesn't work for me past 1 or 2 weeks and always makes me binge. Avoiding binge triggers is what this is all about for me. So I think I'm going to do "nothing is off limits", but eat slower, give myself enough time to feel full before going back to the kitchen. Plus increasing salads and green veg, because I really like those. They put me in a good mood.
 
MsBubbles said:
Plus increasing salads and green veg, because I really like those. They put me in a good mood.
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Same here, even if I don´t enjoy preparing them :p If you have problems with binging planning more calories after those big skates seems like a sensible idea.
 
Thanks! Yes, I am making the most of the great fruits in season right now.

The binges are on the wane now, since I started focusing more on established meal times.

I've lost track of time and see now that I have gone the whole work week both without having any binges or doing much to get rid of my stomach fat. So it's good and bad. I'm feeling a bit lost right now on all this. But then again, it's Thursday. :rolleyes: I hate how complacent I get during this journey. I know it sounds stupid but something that helps me not overeat is to cram myself into clothes that are just slightly too tight, or made out of clingy material. Workout clothes fit the bill, and it helps working from home! The things I wear at my desk! Plus I change about five times a day just for the fun of it. But seriously though, I think I need to start wearing the clothes I'd like to fit back in to. I think it'd help. Oh sure, maybe it'd be better for my mental health if I just bought a whole new set of clothes tailored to my present body shape. But I know I'd be happier if I could get rid of some of this belly fat.
 
It sounds to me that you are on track to lose that last 10 lbs. Losing 2 lbs without really restricting & feeling deprived or binging is a very good start. You are taking care of your body & it will reward you :)
 
Thanks for the comments and encouragement!

I've been away again. Not for vacation, just from here. I had a few things happen that shook me a little bit, got me off balance, and I didn't eat at all for a couple of days. This is never good because my mood plummeted even worse of course. I know all of this. Been through it lots of times. Don't seem to be able to fight it when it happens. Anyway, I'm back again. Just weighed and am right at 71 kg. I'd be happy to get rid of about another 1.5 kg soon. Still trying to do 3 meals only but my schedule has been messed up, which makes it difficult. Things are very unstable at work, I'm sure like many other people's job situations. Right now in the early morning, I find it easy to be optimistic or to make the best of it no matter what. My evening moods, however, are about as pessimistic as possible. It's time to be as balanced as possible right now.
 
MsBubbles said:
Right now in the early morning, I find it easy to be optimistic or to make the best of it no matter what. My evening moods, however, are about as pessimistic as possible. It's time to be as balanced as possible right now.
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Yup. It´s hard right now. But as long as you don´t give up and keep working toward the light your chances are a LOT better than when you give up. So you´re doing the right thing.
 
I think this pandemic has made most of us realise how important it is to look after ourselves as best we can. I would be lying if I said I'm not frightened for the future- for my kids, grandkids, friends & everyone else. That is really not something that I have felt before. It doesn't help to worry and I am trying not to. We have to try to emerge the other end of this better than we went into it. That's what I'm concentrating on and kindness. There can never be enough of that.
 
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