Brandy's Success Diary

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have a class coming up this semester where I have to complete a certain amount of hours of "field work". This means working somewhere in the culinary arts field. I need about 20 to 25 hours per week to complete that. Ummm.... I spoke with my boss (at the bakery I work at currently) almost a month ago about needing those hours at least until Christmas time. She said THEN that it was no problem. That she would definitely be able to do it because I work hard, and I have seniority over some of the girls that she is hiring now. WELL... I spoke with her TODAY, and she says she can't guarantee me ANY amount of hours. Because my schedule isn't open enough. I'd understand...but I can work SPLIT shifts. And when she told me I'm all set... she had already known my school schedule. Now there is a little more then 1 week before school starts.... and I need to find a second job almost immediately. Hell... I might even quit this one all together if I can find a better paying one. I'm tired of dealing with all the unprofessional bullshit around this place. No one knows how to run a business there. (its a small family run thing). I have worked there for almost a year, and I have the experience needed to move up the ladder a little bit.

Sorry about rambling on and on about Non-weight loss subjects. But they are stressing me out. And I know this will affect my eating. Because I stop concentrating on weight loss motivation when I get stressed about something major. I'm going online tonight to look for places to apply. Next week I will go out and get applications. I think I am going to take my ipod and go on a long walk tonight by myself. Just to get my mind going, and maybe think of a plan. I need more money anyways... I have too much going on in my life, and its hard to move out of this house...when I have NO MONEY.

I had a grilled cheese for lunch with one serving of potato chips. Dinner is buffalo chicken. yum. Then a nice long walk. Just me and my ipod. I have to work again tomorrow 12 to 6. And I'm REALLY not wanting to go in. Because I need to get another job. And I'm so upset about this crap she is pulling.

My night: Dinner, walk, dishes, laundry... relax for a few damn minutes... bedtime. I'm debating whether or not to call out. It wouldn't be the responsible thing to do, and I need the money. But I could use the time to go get applications. Does anyone have any suggestions?
 
bmohearn said:
I'm tired of dealing with all the unprofessional bullshit around this place.
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Well unfortunatly, you're gonna deal w/ a certain amt of BS at any place you work....it took me years of skipping from job to job to realize everyplace is the same, more than less...if you wait till the dust settles, you might like it again???

bmohearn said:
Sorry about rambling on and on about Non-weight loss subjects.
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hey girl, its your diary! i've read other people's diaries that seemed to have next to nothing about actual weight loss before...besides, in a way our "non-weight loss" lives have an inpact on our diet/weight loss....


bmohearn said:
But I could use the time to go get applications. Does anyone have any suggestions?
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Well, like I said before, I've done my fair share of job hopping...if you don't have anyone else to support, I don't see the harm in it...besides, you don't really know whats out there until you look....go for it, it might do you some good to have the break??

BTW...watermelon and grapes doesn't sound like much at all for breakfast!! eat something girl!
 
Korrie said:
Well unfortunatly, you're gonna deal w/ a certain amt of BS at any place you work....it took me years of skipping from job to job to realize everyplace is the same, more than less...if you wait till the dust settles, you might like it again???
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I've learned that a bit too. But its the fact that the people who are running this bakery don't know how to keep things organized. Everything is such a mess, and they tell me one thing, do another, and I need some place that can give me a certain amount of hours.

Korrie said:
hey girl, its your diary! i've read other people's diaries that seemed to have next to nothing about actual weight loss before...besides, in a way our "non-weight loss" lives have an inpact on our diet/weight loss....
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I know that for sure! I don't care what I eat when stuff like that happens. Tomorrow is a weigh in for me. And I know I am not going to see that 202.


Korrie said:
Well, like I said before, I've done my fair share of job hopping...if you don't have anyone else to support, I don't see the harm in it...besides, you don't really know whats out there until you look....go for it, it might do you some good to have the break??
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I only support myself. I would call in, but I'm stuck between 2 places. One side of me says "just do it! Its only 6 hours, and it shows you are responsible. And its only 1 more day before you get 3 days off in a row!". The other side of me says "There isn't going to be much to do tomorrow, and you could use a day off anyways"

Korrie said:
BTW...watermelon and grapes doesn't sound like much at all for breakfast!! eat something girl!
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I ate a small breakfast because I knew I was going to be eating lunch in just a couple of hours. So it was just something to hold me over for 2-3 hours.
 
Dan came home early and spent some time with me. I'm so lucky he is here for me to talk to openly. He has made me feel better about everything. He told me that I look perfect just the way I am, so I don't need to be in a rush to lose weight. Sounds corny and over used, but I know he meant it. He also told me to go to work tomorrow. He said there will be plenty of bad days at any job, and I don't have to communicate with anyone there. All I need to do is my job. I am going to keep this job, and apply for other ones as much as possible. But when I look for a new job, I want it to be a vertical move. I won't work for minimum wage. It will have to be $10 per hour or more. $12 would be ideal.

I have made an accomplishment list for myself. A reward system for every 10 pounds lost. Maybe this will motivate me. I don't want to weigh myself tomorrow- but I will anyways.
 
206 this morning?!?!!!! I'm in shock. I'm so ashamed that I was thinking about lying about it. I hate gaining. This next week will be better. I can handle myself better then I have for the past week.

I have work again today. I've definitely decided to go. I do want the money. And after today I won't have to go back until next Tuesday. I just need to go to work, and concentrate on doing my job, until its time for me to leave

I will make this week a very controlled week. Lots of exercise and healthy eating.
 
So far so good today. Breakfast was a baked potato with 1 tbsp of sour cream and 2 slices of watermelon. Lunch was a grilled cheese sandwich on whole wheat bread with 2 more slices of watermelon. I have had 3 cups of water so far. (1 was a cup of tea) I am going to work soon. I will probably have 6 cups more there. I skipped my morning walk because I was given $50 for vacuuming out MIL's car. :) I will do 1 hour when I get home.
 
Good for you having a good morning!:) I am glad you didn't lie about the weight gain. I am sort of shocked at it actually and wondered if TOM was nearby or maybe you had eaten something salty or something like that? With you being back on track though that should come off quickly.
I went to the doctor yesterday to get a check up and I was horrified that the scale said 210!! My scale at home had been saying 203... It was a bit depressing. I will have to see what my home scale says now lol;)
Hope you have a good day today!
 
mishi said:
Good for you having a good morning!:) I am glad you didn't lie about the weight gain. I am sort of shocked at it actually and wondered if TOM was nearby or maybe you had eaten something salty or something like that? With you being back on track though that should come off quickly.
I went to the doctor yesterday to get a check up and I was horrified that the scale said 210!! My scale at home had been saying 203... It was a bit depressing. I will have to see what my home scale says now lol;)
Hope you have a good day today!
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I wasn't surprised about the weight gain. I ate salty foods the night before. And late the night before. I'm not worrying about it. I know next week will be better.
 
Today has been great so far. I posted my breakfast and lunch already. Dinner was half a cheeseburger sub, and just a couple french fries. I've had 9 cups of water so far. I stayed late at work tonight, and I'm glad I did. Dan picked me up on my half hour break (that I barely ever take) and took me to the sub shop for dinner, where we split a large sub. It was very kind of him. I made up for the half hour of no pay by staying over an hour late. Whatever. I have the next 3 days off at least! I have plenty to get done tonight though. I have dishes, laundry, picking up random messes around my room, and going on a walk. I might just go for 30 minutes. If I'm up for it I will go even further. Then I will probably sit down and have some tea. I have a lot of friends on here that are preggo, and I have some crafty presents for them. HELL... I have letters and such to send out. I am SOOOO sorry that I haven't sent out the promised letters yet. I'm so busy with stupid things that I just forget. They will go out by next week!!!!! I smell from sweating at work all day long!!
 
Hey Brandy, I realized after having to go back several pages in your diary that it's been ages since I've been in here, so I apologize for that. I have been bad about getting into diaries lately. :blush5:

Don't fret about the gain. I'm sure the vast majority of it is water weight, and I agree with you that you'll take it off this week. :)

Have you thought about looking into a job at a supermarket bakery? All the supermarkets around here bake their own stuff. I don't know how much they pay, but as you're a culinary student focusing on baking/pastries, I would think you could move up the proverbial ladder pretty quickly. Just an idea. :)

I agree with Korrie about writing whatever you want in your diary. There's no rule that says it all has to pertain to weightloss. ;)

Walking is great exercise. I was watching a 20k race walk on the olympics. Man did they look funny! The woman who won averaged a 6.8 minute mile!! That's incredibly fast. The best I can do walking is a 12min mile, and there's no way I could keep that pace up for 12.5 miles..lol.

Have a great weekend! :hurray:
 
Hey Kim! I'm glad you stopped by! I care about the gain...but then again... I don't. I know I can take it off no problem. Supermarket bakeries make nothing their selves around here. Frozen and baked. I will find a job. I'm sure of it. I have confidence that I can go places with my hard work. I'm impressed with a 12 minute mile!!! lol.
 
Good morning! I saw 204.2 on the scale this morning. Just bad luck on weigh in day. LOL. today will be as good as yesterday I hope. No work today!! Woohoo! I plan on exercising, finishing up my never ending chores, and shopping for some new decent bras. I don't like spending money on myself. I very rarely do it. I feel guilty afterwards like I could have made someone else happy with that money. Or I could have payed bills off with that money. But I do really need new bras. I tend to wear them until they have holes. Same thing with all the rest of my clothes. I don't even throw them away when they do have holes. I just wait until someone gets me a gift certificate to get one, or until they have an amazing sale. LOL. Well, I'm going to go eat breakfast now
 
Today has been a pretty good day. I have eaten well, and I got a tiny bit of exercise in. I have been taking advantage of the relaxation. I spent the $50 Dan's mom gave me for vacuuming her car. I went out and bought 2 new bras, 3 new tank tops, a pack of gummy bears for dan, I took Dan and i out to lunch at Panera Bread, and then I bought myself a used video game. Pretty well spent if you ask me! Today is another chore day. I am trying to organize my room. The video game I bought was for DS, it is 3 different card games on one game. Skip-Bo, Uno, and Uno free fall. I have been alternating a game of SkipBo with one chore that I have to get done for the night. lol.
 
whoa whoa whoa! your BF's mom gave you $50 to vaccume her car????? Man, i married into the wrong family! lol!!
 
Korrie- She gave Dan and I $100 for doing it. We split the work, and split the money. It was because she felt bad that she spent over $100 on Dan's brother for shoes and a couple shirts, and we didn't get anything. There was no reason to feel bad....but I was very grateful. By the way I LOVE your ticker. Its very clever.Pencil for classes, stethoscope for nursing. I like it. heehee.
 
Good morning. I had a dream last night that I was pregnant. It was a really long dream because I went through the whole pregnanncy and had the babies for like 3 months before I woke up. I had twin baby girls. I was the happiest person on earth. I had everything planned. Everything went well. It was so real feeling. When I woke up, I cried. I cried for about 30 minutes. I just want that so badly.

Anyways. I weighed myself this morning. 203.8. :D I'm doing well so far this week. Breakfast was 2 scrambled egg whites, 1 slice of cheese, and a piece of bread. Lunch is going to be a cheeseburger. (not fastfood)

I think I will feel better about this baby dream if I plan for the future. So that's the plan for me right now.
 
I have had a great day. I ate pretty well, and even went on a 30 minute walk with my brother. I posted earlier about my baby dream last night that had my head swinging. I had to talk to Dan about it because it was overwhelming me. So we made a plan for our future because we both agreed right now was not a good time for children in our lives. So this next year we are going to concentrate on graduating college, getting decent jobs and saving up as much money as possible. Then in summer 09 (when we graduate) we are going to find an apartment and move out. Then the following year we are going to save up as much money as possible again. In summer 2010 we will start "trying" if circumstances allow it. I feel much better about the situation. It isn't an exact plan, but it gives me something to look forward to.

I am going to have another good day tomorrow because I want to be healthy once and for all.
 
I am so glad you had a good day. That baby dream is a doozy! I am sure your clock it ticking. Mine did around age 20 and it just overwhelmed my thoughts all the time! That is great you and Dan put a plan together. Let me tell you from experience that doing things in a more planned way are so much better. This time the pregnancy and breaking the news has been completely different! Planning and being stable made all the difference I think! Yay for you and Dan:)
Hope you have a great day today as well!!
 
Hey Brandy! I gotta agree with Mishi - I felt my clock go off at around 20 as well. It got a little bit better with time, but now it's starting to go off again. We're probably going to try for it around 28 or 29 (I turn 27 this fall). Part of me wants to try right now, but another part of me likes our life together and focusing on my nursing career and having fun together with no responsibility. I feel like I'm just about ready to have a baby. I want to get married first - and the whole wedding thing leaves you kinda busy. Then we'd like to get a house, and I think around that time we'll start trying for a baby. It's nice to have a plan in place for that kind of thing!! I know having our timeline makes me feel good - always stuff to look forward to. :)

Anyway glad to see you're doing well - congrats on the weigh-in yesterday!
 
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