Thank you both! I don't really think of what I'm doing as a great accomplishment though. I look at it more along the lines of, "I'm an idiot, why didn't I care enough about myself to take care of my body earlier". I guess we all have things to learn though. I'm more comfortable with myself day by day. I used to have a lot more self-esteem issues as well, but those are fading away. Growing up my parents and grandparents used to tell me how fat I was. They would all poke fun at it relentlessly. Actually just my dad and grandfather. My mother has always been really supportive of me. I used to think, "screw you, I'll eat and do what I want". The realization that I was only hurting myself by doing that occured to me though.
So, while I was eating lunch today I was thinking.... I want to be 255 by Vegas. That will be 100 lbs lost from March-November. That gives me 12 weeks to drop 29.2 lbs. Leaving me to drop about 2.5lbs a week. Its time to put the axe to the grind stone and take no prisoners!
You know I understand you more than you can understand!!!!
....Growing up, I was always prohibited from eating certain things, ALMOST ALL GOOD things, and I was told how fat I was, and the sameeeee thing....not MEAN, more with care....but SHIT you don't care about that shit when you are small....
....when you are 7 years old, you aren't thinking
OH I WANNA BE A HEALTHY BMI!!!....LOL.....my grandpa on the other hand, a dietician for the Navy for 30 years, thought it was VERY NECESSARY, which then developed into the GRUESOME RUNS in the woods at 6:00am
, and the tearsssss and the excuses....>!!!!!
...I had issues, I still have issues,....LOL....LESS, but still....and I would say the same thing,
WATCH ME I'll EAT WHATEVER I WANT.....BLAH!!! It was me I was hurting, and I would even feel bad sometimes, and HIDE the HUGE bags of chocolate, behind the dresser....in SHAME
...it was bad, for years, for whole summer visits....NO CONTROL!!
.......they found me out, CLEANING the room, one day, my grandma wanted to move the dresser, and then BAMMMMM all those BIG BAGS FAMILY size of m&m's.......and THE SHOCK!!!!......but really was it a shock, when they had a CLOSET FULL OF JUNK food that a 7 year old is NOT TO TOUCH, everyone else yessss, but NOT ME!!! WHACK!!!!
....I get you, there are soooo many more issues with weight that have been corrallated to our lives, that I could write a BOOK ON MINE alone......LOL!!.......not funny though...
....
....a HUG to all my people who know similar situations!!! ONE LOVE...YOURSELF!!!
