"Big Girls (You are Beautiful" <-- Mika's song: Nataliejo's Diary.

Good luck with your calories today. Sometimes the numbers look big, but even just a couple hundred calories less than you normally eat can make a difference. Just remember that your diet changes need to be gradual so you won't rebound and start eating too much. So changing by just a couple hundred cals at a time is perfectly ok. You don't need to go from 3000 to 1800 overnight. Again, good luck. I'm wishing you a very successful day!
 
Hey NJ!

You're doing so great! You're really moving towards a lifestyle change and taking control of everything.

Keep it up and the scales will go down.

HUGS:hug2: :hug2: :hug2:
 
Hey NJ!

You're doing so great! You're really moving towards a lifestyle change and taking control of everything.

Keep it up and the scales will go down.

HUGS:hug2: :hug2: :hug2:

I don't think my caloric intake was very good today...
I am going to have fish for supper I think ... ugh

ttylater
love yas
natalie jo
 
hey girls ...

I think I am really faltering and I think I need to take the bulls by the horns and run with them...terribly far too ..
my stomach is horrid ..its further out than the chest area .. I dont know ..but I have lost another pound ..it must be coming off somewhere else ...thats all I can say ...
I plan to do twenty five minutes of pilates aerobics ...
its "Pilates for Dummies" its for people who are hardcore who need to start losing weight and dont know how ... its really fast paced ..its hard and it should do the trick .. I think ..and than I am going to do floor exercises and I am going to do ten more minutes of aerobics beyond the pilates

what do you all think?

love ya
natalie jo
 
SunnyDee, Jenna, Sheryl etc thank you for visiting my diary. I know I haven't really been visiting anybody elses diary.

I have been really down and down on myself.. my gut extends beyond the girls on my chest, and they are big. Double Ds. At least my bf likes them ugh.

Someone, a little girl, about eight or nine, called me a dog! I was so upset and felt like a dog. I looked at myself in the mirror and was so vERY shocked by who stood before me. A unfit individual working on the store, messy, angry, upset with her looks, tired of being fat, depressed, 29 year old, full of such misery.

I did aerobics today, hard core, aerobics for ten minutes and ten minute floor exercises on my abs and on my legs and my arms ....
I went so fast I couldnt keep up with my legs or hands. I was jumping around, my heartbeat was so fast and I was sweating up a storm. I think I am better doing aerobics than walking or biking at this point. I seem to be able to move quicker and work my heartrate higher than I do when I go walking. So tomorrow I am going to do aerobics for thirty minutes, I may have to sit down between songs, but I am going to start with one slow song and end with a slow song, but the rest will be rapid heart beat movements.

I know I can do it if it is aerobics and floor exercises. I don't want to use the bench..the girls are getting smaller, but the gut is bigger, its bad!! horrible!!
its so horrible!!
but I ate five hundred less calories today than 3000 calories. So I am working on it. I cut out the lemon, it was making my stomach hurt. I made English Breakfast sun tea. Put the bottle of poland spring out there under the sun, with ten tea bags and it tastes so damn good with two packets of the pink sweet n low. Staying away from fast food and enjoying it. The last time I ate out was yesterday, but it was an egg sandwich. Had a sandwich with one slice of ham and one slice of turkey, roasted turkey, everything was thin and trim... one slice of swiss cheese and some mustard on seeded rye. Which is one of the best breads you cant eat and is very filling.

Today I had two hotdogs, usually I eat four, so this was a big move by me. I did not have any bread with it. I had a little mashed pot ..but I took my metaformin with it ...

My sugar has been down ... which is good ...

I am sucking in my stomach right now, while breathing, my mom says its a good way to build the muscles in my stomach and many women who were pregnant use it as well. So I will keep my stomach in at all times and I will be getting a good work out on my back muscles ..they are killing me right now, with this stomach intuck move...

and I rocked on the floor exercises ..going to lengthen it more tomorrow. Nobody will be home .. I will have the apt to myself, perfect!

so anyway ..ttylater gals
doing better
I really sweat my butt of tonight ..more than I have in months and my heart was so fast ... I had a fan on me too! lol

ttylater girls
love yas
natalie jo
 
Hi hun. Sounds like you're going through a period of discouragement. At the same time, you're keeping your eyes on the prize ahead and continuing to watch your intake and do your aerobics. That's the most important thing. It's okay to get down and frustrated, but it's not okay to give up. That's why you need to keep coming here and posting your thoughts and feelings. When you feel like giving up, we'll all be here to jump on you and drag you kicking and screaming back into the race! We love you and want you to succeed!
You need to keep counting your calories. Since you have a tendency to eat too eat too many calories, it would be very easy for you to keep overeating when you're not counting. Counting them up will give you a solid reference to how well you're doing.
About your tummy - aerobic exercise is the way to burn fat, so keep that up! I guess your tummy is your "problem area", so it may be a while before you see any results there. I know that sucks, but just hang in there! If you don't feel ready to join a gym, I suggest you get a toning video to do at home. Maybe one that incorporates some small dumbells or resistance bands. When you feel toned, you feel sexier. Trust me!
I hope you're feeling better today. Remember that you are beautiful, sweet, thoughtful, and determined. And someone who is all those things certainly deserves to reach her goal. :) I'm here whenever you need me!
 
Hey SunnyDee, Jenna, everyone,
thanks for you words
SunnyDee ... that last post you made on my diary, really got me to thinking .. I need to do something about my weight .. I really need to focus more and do this ..and with all your support ..which I wouldnt be able to do it with out ... your all so wonderful! and doing so well! I know I can do this ...


I am going for a walk tomorrow ... my little toe is broken and is giving me trouble ..the pain is shooting through out the left side of my left foot ...when I tried to do aerobics tonight it was so painful ..but I am going for a walk tomorrow ... at least for thirty minutes ... even if its at my moms work .. I will walk all the way down the strip and back and if I have to do it a couple times I will and I am not going to stop in any shops because that does nothing for me ...
I am going to do this ... tomorrow .. I have to take it a day at a time ...but I am going to do it!

thanks all of you ..
will report tomorrow morning and tomorrow night about how I did ..

loveyas
natalie jo :D
 
Small things will add up to good results when done consistantly. Remember that when you are mad at yourself for only doing a little exercise or cutting out a little food. Just keep making small changes until you are where you need to be.
 
Hey hey NJ,

dropping in to say don't let a little girl's comment get to you. For the most part, kids say shit that they themselves have no idea why they said it in the first place. (Then again, when I used to pick up my niece from kindergarten and her little friends would comment on my weight, she would walk over and kick their ass. Damn, I miss that kid. haha) You just be strong and stop being so negative about yourself. If you dwell on your "tummy," it really takes away from your accomplishments. Look in the mirror say to yourself "okay... I don't like my tummy, I'm going to work on it" and that's that... no more focusing all your energy on it. Look at the WHOLE picture. I have to agree with the all-knowing Ms Sunnydee inregards to calories. Just keep an eye on that... if you keep within your calorie range and exercise the way you are now, don't be surprised if you see a sudden drop in weight, doll. You can do this, NJ. Be strong...

-Sheryl
 
Helly Sunny, SunnyDee, Jenna, Sheryl, And Amba and everyone else...

Well yesterday was really good... I walked for fifty three minutes. I grabbed my head phones and portable cd player and felt really good walking ..
there was some piano in the music and as I was walking up on of my favorite hills I looked up at the sun ..closed my eyes and heard the intro to this galactic dreamy song ...and I just felt so secure in myself, so safe ...so tranquil and knew everything would be alright. lol I felt in grace ..really ...

I am going for another walk today. Alex is coming up today. We are going to chill and we are going out to eat tonight .. I won't be bad ...lol ... probably go to Ruby Tuesdays.. I thought they were good ...

Anyway ttylater guys
I am doing well ..

always
loveyas :p
natalie jo
 
Thank you Lulu for writing in my journal, haven't seen you for a bit...

But the point to this post!


I have to start over! I hate to say it but I am back up to 300 pounds. So I have only tech lost 14 pounds. I gained seven pounds back, but I am ready to get rid of it. I am going to set my ticker accordingly.

SunnyDee I finally realized what you meant by discouragement, your right! I have been feeling discouraged, even today. Its like "Will I ever lose the weight? Am I strong enough to take control over my problems and take care of them the way I need to?" Do I have the strength. Thats what I wonder. And I know you all have the strength, but each day seems to bring me lower and thinking about how I ate today makes me feel so guilty. So horrid. And I am not sure how I will start, but I have to. I will figure it out, if you guys can give me advice that would be great on how you began losing weight... what you did ...how you changed your diet ...how you were rid of cravings ...etc ... please help me...

thanks
love yas
natalie jo
hope to hear from you all!
 
Hey NJ

For me it was a breaking point. One day I said I am going to do this. This is the time. I wish there was some phrase or instruction I can give you but all I can give you is my support.

I am so proud that you are sticking with this and not giving up. You can do this and you will do this.

If you need anything... or just need to talk... you just let me know

xoxo
~Jenna
 
Hey beautiful,

personally speaking, it really took something as horrible as losing my grandfather to make me realize how important it is to be healthy. I lost him February due to a massive heart attack. My "breaking point" (I'm stealing Jenna's words, because I can't think at the moment. haha) was walking down the church aisle along with my sisters and cousins while hoisting my grandfather's coffin. (We were chosen as paulbearers by my grandma.) Everyone was walking straight ahead. Unfortunately for me, I had to walk sidewards because I couldn't fit down the aisle. Yah... it was really embarassing, because a few family members commented on my "style of walking." Assholes. A couple days after the incident, I went on the patio, pulled out a notepad and pen and started to write a lifestyle change list. (ie: take a 30 min walk early in the morning, cut back on high trans fat items, no more sodas, etc)

That's how it all started and that's where I am today, because of it. You can be on a low carb diet, vegetarian diet, etc... if you don't place it in your mind (find that determination/ "drive"), then none of that will really matter, because you'll end up being back where you began. Hell... it may sound crazy, but talk yourself into it. Say... "Alright NJ... no more fucking around. It's go time." :D We're here if you need us, girl.

-Sheryl
 
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walking." Assholes. A couple days after the incident, I went on the patio, pulled out a notepad and pen and started to write a lifestyle change list. (ie: take a 30 min walk early in the morning, cut back on high trans fat items, no more sodas, etc)

I forgot to add this. I also wrote a list one that is constantly updated about a lifestyle change. For me it doens't only include weight loss goals but life goals. I find it very helpful and therapeutic.
 
Hey NJ

For me it was a breaking point. One day I said I am going to do this. This is the time. I wish there was some phrase or instruction I can give you but all I can give you is my support.

I am so proud that you are sticking with this and not giving up. You can do this and you will do this.

If you need anything... or just need to talk... you just let me know

xoxo
~Jenna

Thanks Jenna,
I really appreciate your support. I haven't been feeling very well recently. To be honest I have been extremely depressed and its very hard to stay focused. I find it very hard to even focus on school or volunteering at the library. I haven't been to the library for four to five weeks to be honest. I feel so horrible. I dont know what I am going to do. I dont know where to start making my life more productive and myself more productive. IF I only could get myself to just take care ..or just care about myself. ugh

thanks girl

always
love yas
natalie jo
 
Hey beautiful,

personally speaking, it really took something as horrible as losing my grandfather to make me realize how important it is to be healthy. I lost him February due to a massive heart attack. My "breaking point" (I'm stealing Jenna's words, because I can't think at the moment. haha) was walking down the church aisle along with my sisters and cousins while hoisting my grandfather's coffin. (We were chosen as paulbearers by my grandma.) Everyone was walking straight ahead. Unfortunately for me, I had to walk sidewards because I couldn't fit down the aisle. Yah... it was really embarassing, because a few family members commented on my "style of walking." Assholes. A couple days after the incident, I went on the patio, pulled out a notepad and pen and started to write a lifestyle change list. (ie: take a 30 min walk early in the morning, cut back on high trans fat items, no more sodas, etc)

That's how it all started and that's where I am today, because of it. You can be on a low carb diet, vegetarian diet, etc... if you don't place it in your mind (find that determination/ "drive"), then none of that will really matter, because you'll end up being back where you began. Hell... it may sound crazy, but talk yourself into it. Say... "Alright NJ... no more fucking around. It's go time." :D We're here if you need us, girl.

-Sheryl

Thanks Sheryl,
I am so very sad. And this weight gain has made me feel worse. I feel like and unproductive human being. I dont seem to care about myself very much.
I cant wait till I see my therapist. I wish I could just hug them sometimes. Because they understand, well maybe they dont, that I feel like crap ..

oh well
I shall talk myself into this. I know I can do it. I just need to start giving a crap about myself. u know .. I am getting into music more again. I think tonight I am going to go to the aerobics dvd section and see if I can find something that will motivate me ...

ttylater girly

thanks hun
always
love yas
natalie jo
 
Hey NJ,

I think writing down a few lists would help you out. Getting it all down on paper allows me to look at the words and soak in my thoughts. Just not the same when I just think it.

Some lists ideas are: Things I like about me, things I dislike about me, what are my goals for my life, what changes do I need to make for a healthy lifestyle, pros and cons of changing my lifestyle. These are just some examples of some of the many many lists I've written for myself. If you'd like more ideas I'd be glad to share.

:hug2:
 
...grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference...

It sucks that in life so many of the bad things overshadow the good things that are happening to us. Yes a weight gain is a setback but you can use it as an opportunity or a reminder of the actions you're taking that aren't benefiting not only your weight loss, but your emotional self as well. Every day is a new beginning, hell every hour or minute can be a new opportunity to make a change for the better.
We're all here to support you; we all have our ups and downs. We only get one shot at this life so each step we take has to be a step forward. Make up your mind to make those steps. We’ll all walk this road together and be stronger people for it. So chin up girlie (I find that helps make my neck look long and slim :D ) we know you can do it!

Sending you lots of love and some motivational kicks in the rear...:hug2:
 
Hey angel,

just read at Jenna's diary that you lost 3 lbs! woohooo! Go on, little mama! Be determined and you'll get there, NJ. Oh and when your friend signs up, let us know. :hug2:

-Sheryl
 
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