Bethy's Diary

Hello loves!
Sorry I haven't been around. Don't worry, I haven't fallen off the wagon--far from it. My appetite is stabilized again, my sleep schedule is still a little funky but settling.
I've been having pretty much the same thing everyday--not really because I HAVE to, but because I like it :D--for breakfast, a yogurt and either oatmeal or a bowl of cornflakes with banana, for lunch usually tuna with mayo on toast or a turkey sandwich and a cheese stick, then dinner last few days has been my chicken & rice with veggies and parmesan, various snacks--especially the Special K snack bars (I now have strawberry, blueberry, chocolate and vanilla) or a Nabisco 100-calorie bar (I have Oreo, Chips Ahoy, and my faaaavourite Nutter Butter).
I've stayed within my calorie range every day, I did a LOT of walking yesterday but as it was unexpected I was in the wrong shoes--low-heeled sandals instead of my tennis shoes--and now my feet are sore and blistering XP
I had a wonderful dessert tonight though, Jell-o sugar free chocolate pudding with a tablespoon of semi-sweet chocolate chips mixed in topped with whipped cream. Altogether 180 calories.
So...I'm a bit under on calories for the night, need to have another snack before bed, but I'm doing well.
I've been gone partly because a friend of mine is having trouble--her new marriage is going very badly, she's miserable, and she's starving herself because of her depression. I'm trying to help her as much as I can, at the very least be there for her and encourage her to eat more. She's lost a lot of weight, but not in a good way, she's sickly and has no energy and just feels worse and worse. So I'm trying to spend more time with her while I'm still here, get her to eat more, be here for her.
Anyway, I'll try to get around to some diaries tonight, I feel so neglectful XD
 
Oh also, almost forgot two things...first, I'm really happy that since I've been eating better my memory is getting better again. All while I wasn't eating well it was degrading, and now it's gradually improving along with my energy levels and general health...
And second, I've inspired a friend to lose weight with me. He and I are competing now, he's only got about 60 pounds to lose to my 85, but he hates calorie counting and numbers and everything about nutrition--he's trying the South Beach Diet right now--so I have a bit of an advantage over him there, as I find all of it fascinating. I've had a few of my friends now tell me they're proud of me and I'm inspiring to them--interestingly, all the guys are the ones saying I'm inspiring and they're proud, all the girls are either worried or upset. My best girl friend (though I don't have many, I tend to be friends with guys) is trying to convince me that calorie counting is 'obsessive' and that losing weight isn't healthy.
People are strange...
 
for sweet craving sometimes all i need is a good teaspoon or two of honey and then it makes me feel like i could never eat anything sweet again.
it does work - i think a tablespoon of honey comes to about 60 cals though although i spose it is better than having a binging session with the cookie tin.
 
i noticed some girlfriends, especially coworkers tend to be upset, even a bit jealous. i have no diea why. ofcourse calorie counting can be obsessive...if you count every single thing and watching you don't get over by 20 calories... that is wrong. i believe you should know approximately calories so you know that you are in the range.

great for the memory thing. i noticed that i have less headaches and stuff.
for sweets, you can also have a small piece of dark chocolate or some fruits with sugar substitutes and things like that :)

anyway, i hope you're having a great day :) Lena
 
It's gaming day again, and mom's again bringing home pizza, but I went and looked at the Papa Murphy's site and found that they have 'deLITE' pizzas that are lower calorie--so a slice of the pepperoni deLITE is only 165 calories versus the 280 for the regular. :D So she's bringing home one of those for me this time.
Anyway--I'm doing okay, though PMS has been making me crave a lot of sweet and salty stuff. Having the sugar-free pudding and special K snack bars and Quakes around has been helpful. I think I've lost another pound, but I can't quite tell too well on this scale without spending 20 minutes with it, and I don't have time today. So I'll see what it shows tomorrow morning when I have the time.
Thanks for the suggestions too, but I can't stand honey XD I think I'm good with the sweet snacks I've got, a bowl of the Jell-o sugar free pudding is only 70-80 calories (depending on the flavour), the snack bars are only 90-100 (depending on whether it's Special K or the Nabisco 100-cal bars). I just have more trouble with wanting all sweets and salty stuff and red meat during PMS XP
 
glad youve found a lower cal pizza :) good for you for hunting it out and making good choices.
and is whipped cream that stuff you cn buy in a spray can or is that different?
 
Ugh...bad bad emotional stuff happened last night, I'm feeling very bad and unable to eat...but at the same time I'm badly craving all sorts of junk food, and I'm just lucky I can't afford to go get any...I need to make myself eat soon though or my sugar is going to drop and that could be seriously dangerous...
Crap -.-

Also, yeah, the whipped cream in those spray cans, it's like 15 calories for 2 tablespoons
 
what happenned? the problem about emotional eating is learning to react properly to emotions. are you angry, sad, upset? you don't have to write down the reason, but write down the reaction. express the anger and sadness... use this diary to say what you want to say to the person who upset you or a thing that upset you.
and definitely eat something. not eating is not going to change the way you feel.
have a great day :) Lena
 
Oh dear. Well, it's the first time in weeks--maybe over a month--that I've gone over my calories, but ugh.
I'm not sure if it's because it's that time of month, or if it's because of the bad emotional stuff that happened the other day--I really don't feel like talking about what happened in public, it's the kind of thing I can really only tell close friends--or because I got a jumprope yesterday and did extra exercise (I was sore all today too), but I was really hungry all day today. I had that funny thin starved feeling, even after meals and even eating more than usual, and I tried to go to bed but couldn't sleep because of my stomach growling.
Finally I got up and made another meal and now I finally feel full but I also feel bad about the extra. I'm not going to beat myself up about it too much, one bad day's not gonna undo everything I've done, and it's not actually too much over my maintenance if I remember, but still. I don't get to put a sticker on the calendar for today. I've ended up at 2,825 calories today :(
At least I get to exercise again tomorrow. It's easier for me to force myself to exercise on days I don't feel like it than it is for me to make myself not exercise on my rest day--even though it's only one day a week and I was REALLY sore today, I kept itching to get on the bike so I could get a few more miles in towards my fitness goal for the month. I had to have my friends order me not to do it, or I know I'dve been able to talk myself into doing it XD

I'm not sure I even posted it here, but I did set a fitness and nutrition goal for the month a week or so ago--for nutrition, if I eat an apple every day, I get to get the first Sandman TPB. For fitness, if I walk and/or bike at least 55 miles by the end of the month, I get the first Fables TPB (Fables and Sandman are comics series I love, TPB is trade paperback). So far setting these goals has been wonderful, it's easier to push myself with these in mind.

Anyway, I'm going to go read a bit more then go to bed and start fresh in the morning.
 
i guess there is some bug around because lot of people had bad day these days. i guess it had to come eventually. mine was yesterday. but we can overcome it. it was one day. you'll do better tomorrow :D

*hugs* Lena
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top