Bellaryna's Journey

[hickgurltx]

*Hang in there Precious Dawn!*

~Bless your heart.~

I hope things look up soon and you can reclaim your life back! lol

I have sure missed ya! <3

As ya know, life has been crazy my way as well.
It can really RUN YA DOWN!

My 'work-outs' have been few and far between.

'09' will BE BETTER!

Hope you have a Great Sunday & Monday!



<3 Stacy

 

[thecabbie]

Dawn, I luvya, luvya, luvya, hon! Sending all my good thoughts your way.

Post when you can... don't worry bout us... take care of you first, sweetheart.

 

[Bellaryna]

It's amazing to me to think that I haven't been here in over a week. Been soooo very busy it just seems that there is no time left over to pop on here and update or see how everyone else is doing.
A few updates:
Mom
She is doing well. Her Cellulitis seems to be just about cleared up. Currently she is under going physical and occupation therapy everyday to build up the muscles in her legs. It would seem that with all her inactivity she allowed her muscles to lose almost all the muscle tone she had. Which could be one factor for her falling alot. They also have her on a new med for possible Narcalepsy (sp?). They think that she may have some form of it and are hoping that she will have a favorable reaction to the new med. Personally I think the falling asleep and falling down thing have more to do with the fact that her spine is being compressed more and more every year. (Due to a past injury.) They have already told her (I think I may have mentioned this already) that she will be paralyzed sometime in her lifetime due to the spine compressing more and more every year.
Me and My eating/exercise.
What can I say except that there has been no exercise. Especially last week. What with mom and all. And as for eating....well iggy:, the little piggy says it all.
I am now barely able to get into my 16's that I was able to slide right into 6 months ago. So have resorted to wearing my 18's instead. Though there is no chance that I will be going up to 20's since I got rid of them all. So I have no choice but stop this upward trend, because I WILL NOT buy bigger clothes!!!!
Since New Year's is right around the corner I figure that I will get back to where I need to be then. It may actually be easier since there will be loads of other folks doing the same thing. I just need to get back on track, once there I can manage to stay. It's the getting there that is soooo hard.
YMCA
My job at the Y is going GREAT! Though I do feel a bit of a hypocrite for the way my behaviors have been lately.
Anywho my boss offered me 2 more days to work. Which effectively doubles my hours and eliminates the need for me to switch shifts over at the DC to get more hours there. Two days at the Y will cover the one extra day we wanted at the DC. And since it will still be from 4:30-8:30 in the morning it will not disrupt my family during the week like it would if I switched my shift at the DC. Since that would have invloved my going back to my old shift of 4am to whatever. Which during the summer is a HUGE pain as the kids would then have to be in daycare. Which would effectively defeat the purpose of my switching shifts. That and I would end up actually seeing less of my kids. Though I don't really like working weekends I will do what is best for my family not nescessarily best for me. Because in the long run if my family is happy than I am happy too.
So there is the long and not so short of it. LOL
I hope that everyone else is doing great this Holiday Season.
What with all the goodies available and such. I know this year they are my biggest downfall ever.
Ciao everyone.

 

[thecabbie]

Hey Dawn

Don't stress out! Into every life a holiday cookie or two must fall...

I get ya on the weekend thing. I do my cab thing every saturday, leaves me with a one day weekend. Gets old sometimes...

Hope your Christmas is going well though. Hmm... thinking of a new years resolution partner... look me up if you want!

 

[Bellaryna]

Hey Dawn

Don't stress out! Into every life a holiday cookie or two must fall...

I get ya on the weekend thing. I do my cab thing every saturday, leaves me with a one day weekend. Gets old sometimes...

Hope your Christmas is going well though. Hmm... thinking of a new years resolution partner... look me up if you want!

Karl!
I WANT!!! I WANT!!!
I love ya!!! You are ever so encouraging.
I absolutely NEED a resolution partner. 'Cuz apparently I can't get it done by myself.
Thanks Karl.
Just let me know the fine details of how we want to go about it.

 

[Curvie Girlie]

Hey Dawn, I feel ya--I think I won't be able to get my diet going until AFTER Xmas, and my cardio has sadly fallen to 1-2 days a week (and some dancing on weekends). At least I been doing Yoga 5 days a week. It really helps with the muscle tone and stress levels. Anyway, congratulations on your increased hours and job! Good luck to you! Hope you can get back into the 16s soon!

 

[Bellaryna]

Thanks Val!
Love, love, love!!! the new Avi. You are so very pretty.
I know what you mean about the "after X-mas" thing. Funny thing is last year I made it thru the holidays w/o gaining a single pound. Not so this year.

 

[Curvie Girlie]

Awwwww shucks thanks!

Last season I gained a BUNCH of weight and it took until April to lose it! I think we both should probably concentrate hard on maintaining until after Xmas, and probably step up our efforts--I have GOT to get more cardio and you have GOT to find time for exercise, no excuses for us, right?? LOL how's that for motivation!

 

[Bellaryna]

Awwwww shucks thanks!

Last season I gained a BUNCH of weight and it took until April to lose it! I think we both should probably concentrate hard on maintaining until after Xmas, and probably step up our efforts--I have GOT to get more cardio and you have GOT to find time for exercise, no excuses for us, right?? LOL how's that for motivation!

That'll do!
That's what I need. Someone to basically kick my butt on a daily basis and tell me to just get it done!
So maybe my new motto will be "No Excuses!"
Let's get it done Val. We CAN do this.

 

[Curvie Girlie]

HELL YES we can. I remember how happy your were a while back when you were at your lowest low and how great you looked. Wherever we're at (all of us at WLF), this place is also about FITNESS and it's gonna be a LIFESTYLE change that will stick. Right?!?!

 

[Bellaryna]

Absolutely Right!!!
I just need to quit making excuses and do it.
So ya wanna join Karl and me in our accountability club? LOL
Sounds like we could both use Karl kicking our butts. LOL

 

[Curvie Girlie]

Karl is a great butt kicker. Let me know if y'all start a thread....

 

[Bellaryna]

Sure will.
Just waiting for Karl to get back with me.
It seems he had to head on outta here. So I may not get back to you on it until Monday. Since I gotta work this weekend .
Nothing like driving thru the frozen tundra to work in the frozen tundra to drive home in it again.
I HATE winter!
Don't think I would mind it so much if I didn't spend 1/2 my summer in it at work.

 

[bikinibound]

Wow! I didn't know you've been dealing with so much crap lately.

Glad it's improving, though.

I am seriously thinking about starting up another one of my challenges after New Years. Even though I won't be joining it..lol. That way I can make it all the more brutal, right? I still want to do one based on a Survivor theme.

 

[Bellaryna]

I am seriously thinking about starting up another one of my challenges after New Years. Even though I won't be joining it..lol. That way I can make it all the more brutal, right? I still want to do one based on a Survivor theme.

That would be awesome.....uummmm......minus the brutality though!
LOL
I did so much better when I was involved in one of your challenges. Make sure to let me know. Since I can't always cruise all over the site due to time constraints.

 

[Bellaryna]

Small Victories

Well I decided yesterday was as good a day as any to at least try to do better at this eating thing that I seem to struggle with lately.

Victory #1---
I have gotten into the bad habit of "treating" myself on my way to and from work on the weekends. It's the only time I am by myself so am not forced to share.
Though the urge was there (was very much like a subconscience impress) I DID NOT get any treats on the way to or from work yesterday. YEAH!!!
Victory #2---
Did NOT eat anything out of the vending machines at work last night. Didn't even take any money in with me. Again subconscience impulse thing. Brain was telling me what I was going to buy before I even got to the break room. But I didn't listen. YEAH!!!
Victory #3---(sorta)
Weighed myself yesterday. Sigh.......Not good. Came in at 209.4.......worse than I thought since I quit weighing everyday. Though that doesn't sound like a victory weighing this morning and seeing it say 208.2 felt better. Now I just need to continue to weigh everyday.
Pitfall #1---
Didn't drink any water at all yesterday. Bad, Bad, Bad!!!
Pitfall #2---
No exercise.......though it is the weekend so that wouldn't have happened anyway due to the work schedule.
Pitfall #3---
Dh made cookies. Enough said! LOL I only had 3 last night when I came home and have since only had two.
NO MORE COOKIES!!! (At least that is what I keep telling myself!)

Have decided to change my ticker from the 230 to where I am at right now. The 230 was well over a year ago and no longer seems like a starting point since I have backslid so far. So my new start number will be the 209.4, showing where I am NOW and where I plan to be soon.
So there it is.
Now I just need to make it thru this day with more victories than pitfalls. Which could prove to be difficult since it is my dd's 9th b-day. And we are having a party today.
Wish me luck! hahaha
Ciao

 

[thecabbie]

Oh, Dawn...... You sound like you did much better with this one than me...

I detailed my losing battle with cookies in my journal, so I won't post it here. Suffice to say... it didn't go well.

Guess I'm saying that I will most definitely want to get some solid accountabilty going with you. Never really started a challenge thread yet, and would like to hash out some details with you first (pm me?).

I'm in a challenge right now with wishes and trucker. Was going well until I hit those cookie shaped speedbumps this weekend... But I would love to be in an accountablity based one with you (cuz I luvya hun, you're the best! ). Sounds like there will be other people interested too.

Talk to ya soon, hun!

 

[Curvie Girlie]

Congrats on the victories!

You have been through so much stress recently, it's great you're coming back to your dedication. I'm sure a lot of the weight is probably water weight and you'll see 200 soon enough--heck I bet you can be there by February if you tried hard! You can do it!!!

 

[Bellaryna]

Ahhh I do "love" you guys sooo!
Okay so I like almost never cuss. Unless I am really, really, really (get the idea) LOL mad.
I really feel like I could cuss out those bleepity bleep cookies!!!!!
They were everywhere this weekend. And I do mean everywhere. At work, home, church, heck even in my own car!!!
Seemed that no matter what I did there they were. I did try. Really I did. Sorry Val, I let you down on that one. But when it just seems like they are jumping into your mouth...........ugggh I feel like such a dunce!!!
I keep thinking, how do I get back to that will and determination I had 8 months ago?
I am starting to feel miserable at work. I am getting so chubby again that it is getting difficult to do my job sometimes. Especially when I have to bend over to pick something off the floor. I wear soooo many layers that to have this extra 23 pounds back on makes me uncomfortable.
My rear-end use to fit just right into the back rest on my stand-up lift. Now it kinda hangs out past the boundaries.
My back is hurting again. Not always but enough to be noticed. And most if not all my dress clothes don't look nearly as nice on me as they did 8 months ago. Especially now that my belly roll is hanging out below my shirts. Not attractive to say the least. In fact when Dh and I went out to see Glenn Beck's "Christmas Sweater" last Thursday I never took my jacket off. Oh I did for a little bit at the eatery, but I put it back on before I stood up to leave. Just to embarrased. I know that when people look at me they are like, "dang girl get a bigger shirt".
I actually almost bought a bigger sized sweater today so that I could wear something nice to church on Christmas Eve. But I beat back the desire to buy it. Instead telling myself that I just need to do something about the weight and then all the clothes will look just fine again.
So now all the cookies are out of the house. But a colleague of my husband's brought over a Christmas present for us. Nope not cookies........gourmet popcorn! I just got done eating the Almond Biscotti flavored popcorn. Bad, Bad, Bad!!!
But it was sooooo yummy! LOL
That is a major problem with my hubby being in the ministry. Everyone gives us goodies for the holidays. People just don't stop to think that their good intention could actually be hurting us.
'Cuz trust me neither my hubby or I need any goodies.
So tomorrow I will again try to get this back under control.
I need to find that motivation, that drive and determination that I had 8 months ago. I know it is out there somewhere, I just gotta find it.

 

[thecabbie]

Well, as you know... I have been beaten down by he same addiction lately. We'll get this, Dawn... We certainly can do this!