Hi,
My daughter is 7 right now and I guess I internalized your traumatic event at age 7 and literally sit here w/ tears in my eyes. I don't know your background or how this happened to you but u need to know u r loved. Kids, teenagers, even adults can sometimes just be cruel, for no real reason. As a child, I was slightly overweight, by no means obese, but was very aware of it and when I think of it now, realize how insecure I was around my peers. Didn't hold my head up high, this again, was when I was in elementary school.
I can still remember once going on a school trip and the bus passing my house (we didn't live in a neighborhood, but more on a main road) and someone said, there's my house and this kid for no reason, just to be mean, said, yeh probably has roaches. I remember another child saying something mean to him. But u know that stuck w/ me. We were not poor, we were middle class, the kid who made the mean remark was upper middle class. Though, we didn't live in a neighborhood and some viewed us as different. Just because of that.
Where the hell am I going with this? Have no clue. Just I guess I know how kids be cruel and as a parent of two - am very very aware of this and make sure that my kids are not being bullied but also that my kids are not the bullies. Really teach them about respecting each other.
If something happened to you when you were a child as traumatic as an event that u experienced, and again, I don't know the circumstances, but this might of caused u to feel bad about yourself. Without knowing it, you might be projecting those feelings. If you see yourself as ugly, then you are projecting that image. Your peers probably could sense you felt that way about yourself and found you to be an easy target. Not that they thought u were really ugly but they honed in on your weakness and sensed that you felt that way.
You need to really look at yourself and realize how you look. Do you know how many women pay to have their hair look like yours??? You have great eyes, nice full lips (again, people paying for botox, and you get them for free), have to agree w/ the other posters - u hide your wt well or your scale's batteries are on the fritz.
Start believing in yourself. Stop focusing on thinking you are ugly. Everytime you start to think that switch it to - I am damn good looking - I have great eyes, great lips, great cheekbones, etc... Hold your head up high, smile when you are out in public. I don't care if you don't feel like it - do it. You will see an amazing response from people and I mean a positive one. Look people in the eye as u r walking by and smile. If u r not comfortable at first doing this,start w/ sunglasses, but smile when you are out in public.
I have through my life noticed that when I felt great and was out in public, it must of shone through, because people, mostly men but women too, would smile back or give me a wow at me or just friendly to me in the store.
Okay, and whatever u do, don't see a plastic surgeon because those people are in the business to make money - so of course they would tell everyone they should change this or do this!!! Think of the most gorgeous persson u know star or otherwise and I would bet they would recommend work for them. Funny story, once I had to go to an ear/nose/throat specialist for my eear. As the doc is looking at my ear he says to me, "did u ever consider a nose job?" I said, what's the matter u need some money to make your mortgage payment??" Can u imagine someone saying that to ya. Look, don't have a perfect nose, but it's no Dangerfield nose.
Seriously, try it, next to you go to the store, just smile and look people in the eye, I am sure u will have an amazing experience. Also, replace that negative thought that you have with a positive one. Anytime u start to think u r ugly replace it with the I am good looking thought.
Also, Good Luck with your wt. loss journey.