Becoming me again. Lilyofthevalley's Diary

Lilyofthevalley said:
Hello hello! I'm doing okay, thanks! I've been slowly creeping back up to my starting weight.... I think I'll die if I see 230 again. SO... I'm counting.... AGAIN.
I've decided to be proactive about my mindset, to forgive myself and not let shit get me down. I forgive myself for not walking away, for not saying something. It wasn't my fault, and I shouldn't let that pathetic turd of a man ruin my life. I don't need therapy to tell me I'm okay, I shouldn't be so insecure about everything. I will change my life, I WILL do everything I've always wanted to do, lose weight, buy flattering clothes, be flirted with. I can't let my past get the better of me. I need to work on MYSELF, steadily and progressively, and not let anything get in my way.

I can't keep having these revelations and epiphanies and then falling asleep and waking up exactly the way I was before. I HAVE TO DO THIS.

Any tips on continuing motivation? I was thinking maybe writing notes to myself at night ... but I don't know.
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EDIT:SHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT.... I should NEVER GO ANYWHERE with my sister. She makes me make bad decisions with food and money. I bought Nilla wafers and scarfed down 2 servings. :(

Okay. I'll hype myself up tomorrow. I need to find some songs that help me get determined, I heard Rhianna on my sister's radio today and I was like, this song gets me in some sort of mood that makes it easier to think clearly.

Blah, it's the weekend. We eat out all weekend. I seriously had all 3 meals out today. McDonald's for breakfast (3 pancakes) then a steak and cheese sub with french fries for lunch, then 3 cheese tortellini in alfredo sauce for dinner. But seriously though, I eat out EVERY SINGLE day. I want so badly to be healthy, but I'm so addicted to it, I get upset when I don't get it.... I get anxious and crabby.... God. I want to stop, but in a perverse way I really don't.
If someone could hook me up with some healthy, tasty recipes, I would REALLY appreciate it.

<3 Annie

SECOND EDIT: Just wanted to share that I got a PRODIGIOUS 97% on my Ethics test! Oh, and I'm doing really well in math too (96%, 100%, 100%) on assignments and tests! :D
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I'm loving the positive self talk! Your always good at finding reasons and motivation from within on why you want to lose weight for yourself. You always want to accomplish goals for yourself, and I think thats super important. My boyfriend even told me this weekend that I should want to lose weight for myself and not for anything or anyone else.

Also, I can relate to the bad influences on the food eating thing. My friends in highschool when we used to hang out would always just buy a shit ton of junk food and just scarf out so it was like when we were together we were all enablers of eachother. And now we all realize that what we did was kind of gross and unhealthy and now we all have learned to make better decisions when we're together. You just have to keep your mental drive when your with her so that you can keep to your eating plans :)

Eating out isnt necessarily bad, you were still eating out when you lost weight werent you? Just start making some better choices. Everything in moderation is the key, and keep up the good work in class!

See you later :blush5:
 
Mad4Chillas said:
Eating out isnt necessarily bad, you were still eating out when you lost weight werent you? Just start making some better choices. Everything in moderation is the key, and keep up the good work in class!
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True. I guess it was just because I counted calories... I decided last night to start planning what I'm going to eat for breakfast and lunch the night before, and I think that will help. That and staying up in my newly cleaned out room, away for the shitload of junk food downstairs. :)
I appreciate you stopping by. I need to stop by yours to return the favor!! Off I go!:gnorsi:
 
I'm doing it. I've been eating 1200-1600 calories a day for the past 4-5 days... and I'm not burning out. I want this so bad. I've done it before and I'm doing it again, and this time no regression. :D I'm not sure what I should use as my start weight... I weighed in at 212 the first couple times, the same routine, wake up, potty, clothes off, scale, but now I'm at 205.5.... but it's only been about a week. I'm not sure if I should start counting at 212 or 206, because I weighed in solidly for 3 days at 212, but it seems like so much in such a short time that I don't really trust it. I vaguely remember this sort of thing when I first started losing weight this time, so maybe I should go ahead and use 212. *rolls eyes* I was so sure I'd never lose the weight again, and here I am debating if 6 lbs counts. Of course it counts.

I'm proud of myself. I've proven to myself that I can make smart choices and stay under budget. For instance: Today I had an extra cheesy pizza lunchables, 1/2 can of steak and potato soup, and some cheddar and sour cream chips. THEN I went out to eat at a Chinese restaurant, but I shared a plate of chicken lo mein with my mom and had a bowl of egg drop soup and some white rice (probably about a cup). I thought I was in the clear. But my sister won a bet with my parents (apparently there IS a movie called Reservation road. We all swore it was Revolution Road. BUT she named the cast in the bet and it's an HBO movie... who knew?) and her prize was going to maggie moo's. So naturally when we pull up, I get out too to have a look at the sorbet. Well, I end up getting a kid's size cake batter ice cream with 2 mini twix bars mixed in (just a note- twix doesn't work too well mixed in with ice cream. the caramel gets hard and actually crunches when you bite into it. It wasn't awesome.) Anyway, I thought I had totally blown it because I had no idea how many calories were in that ice cream. When I got home, I checked on the computer and found the ice cream was only about 180 cal and the twix was only like 75. Phew. Disaster averted. :)

I'm rather pleased with myself. I have that feeling, that will, that this is going to be it. I'm doing this once and for all. I recognize it from before, but it's stronger, more dominant. Back then, I would have said screw it and gotten a large ice cream (which is like 3 times as big... with 3 times as many mix ins and 6 times as many calories.) because I thought I was going to bomb it anyway. NOPE. Not this time. No wavering, I indulge when I need to but no milkshakes or milky ways, the occasional ice cream, frequent popsicles (35 cal?! WHATTTTT?!! :D)

Oh... and NO CAFFEINE. Well, not when I can avoid it. I do pretty well most of the week, but there are times (like tonight) when it's just unavoidable...The restaurant's water is seriously gross (it ALWAYS tastes like dishwater... :puke:) and they don't have ANY caffeine free drinks. *sigh* so I'm guessing I'm going to be up most of the night. I only had one glass, but the lithium I take reacts to it and makes it like a billion times more potent.... Oh well. I just hope I'm not so goddamn tired tomorrow. Today I was SOOOOO tired, even though I went to sleep at 9:00PM last night. Seriously, I sat down on the couch to watch some tv and suddenly I wake up and it's 5 hours later. Really.

Wow... I'd better go to bed. Reading over this, I think it's the caffeine that's making me so talkative. Or maybe I'm just like this. At any rate, anyone who read this whole thing is my hero. Off to bed.:willy_nilly:

:waving:
<3




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EDIT: I got a 100% on my psych test and a 100% on my math test. I'm just waiting for my ethics test grade... *bites fingernails anxiously*


:D
 
Hi Annie! First time in here. I love what I've read so far. You have great energy. I spite of some things that obviously ad some adversity to your life you seem to have a pretty solid positive spin.

I'll be a regular guest if you don't mind.
 
thecabbie said:
Hi Annie! First time in here. I love what I've read so far. You have great energy. I spite of some things that obviously ad some adversity to your life you seem to have a pretty solid positive spin.

I'll be a regular guest if you don't mind.
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:D Yay!! Muchas Gracias! :) I don't actually know if that's spelled right haha.

Bad news... Franklin died. :'( He was my smallest hermit crab and he was so sweet but he tried to surface molt and he didn't survive it. That topped with the extreme stress from the place where I got him at the beach (horrible living conditions!! Dead crabs everywhere, no food, no water... I HAD to rescue him) I'm sad, but I'm comforted by the fact that he lived his last few months in a great habitat. :( I kind of feel responsible... He was my mom's and I feel like I killed him. I accidentally dug him up when I was replacing the substrate and he never went back down. :( :cry:

RIP Franklin!! You are gone, but not forgotten.

<3
 
I am so fucking sick and tired of my sister's bitchy bullshit. SHUT THEM UP PLEASE.... FUCKING HELL.
I get so upset listening to her scream and cry at my mom because my mom isn't "providing" enough for her. She's 22. "You said you'd give me gas money and blah blah blah and you never have any food in the house BOO FRICKIN HOO and I'm trying to save up money and how can I save money if I have to pay for gas and food Wahwahwah."

Jesus.:banghead:
 
Ha... I really get in some bad moods sometimes... I hate when people yell at each other.

I boiled a terra cotta pot for a hidey place to put in the crabs' tank... I think at least one of them will like it. Eleanor always stays over on the warm side, where the new pot is, so I hope she likes it. Did I tell you guys that I'm saving up for a 90 gallon tank for the crabs? It'll be about $250, and I'll look around to see if I can find anything bigger and cheaper on craigslist when I get the money together. :) I'm really excited!! :conehead:

I'm working on eating at home more, I made pot roast for the family yesterday. :D

<3 That's all I have right now! Thanks for reading!!
 
Lily,

Today was the first time in your thread. I want to say congratulations on staying focused and determined. Keep up the great work and I will do my best to stop by every once in a while to say hi. GREAT JOB!

p.s. If that is you in your avatar, you have a beautiful smile.
 
Hi sweetie!

I have a daughter about that age too and yeah we get into some knock down drag outs too sometimes. We always figure it out eventually though.

I'm sure my other daughter doesn't like to hear it either.
 
randballs said:
Lily,

Today was the first time in your thread. I want to say congratulations on staying focused and determined. Keep up the great work and I will do my best to stop by every once in a while to say hi. GREAT JOB!

p.s. If that is you in your avatar, you have a beautiful smile.
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*giggle* Thank you :blush5:

thecabbie said:
Hi sweetie!

I have a daughter about that age too and yeah we get into some knock down drag outs too sometimes. We always figure it out eventually though.

I'm sure my other daughter doesn't like to hear it either.
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Haha, they've been keeping it passive-aggressive mostly, but the resentments sometimes explode into a screaming match. :rolleyes:

I don't generally get into many screaming matches, but when I do, it's usually with my sister about some stupid crap one of us did to offend the other.

I've been doing well, I stayed under 1500 even though I ate at olive Garden (Granted, that was the only meal I ate yesterday) I had the Chicken Alfredo Pizza, with soup and a breadstick. And I ate THE WHOLE PIZZA. That's like 1100 calories right there, then add the soup and breadstick... *sigh*
At least, I was doing well until I got home and had the equivalent of a pack of starburst (damn halloween candy) and a bowl of chips. :piggy:

But today I'm doing really well, cooking my own meals, I'm eating healthier now, but I don't want to jinx it since it's only the first day...

Grits are healthy, right? haha, the instant grits with butter flavor are only like 102 calories per packet. And I love them. :)



I am in LOVE with the new AFI cd, Crash love. Davey Havok is a GOD. I'm so jealous my brother got to see them live. The concert was on TV and it panned the audience, and since he's ridiculously tall, we saw him... I'm so envious. He saw Davey Havok in the flesh AND made eye contact and oh man I'm SO jealous.

:)

"I'd die, if you only met my, eyes before you passed by. Will you pause to break my heart?":beating:
~Crash Love (AFI)
 
HA! I am amazingly proud of myself. I did the treadmill. FOR AN HOUR!! :D
Yay!
I had chicken for lunch, I sauteed it last night. A little tough after the microwave, but still yummy. :)
I'm hoping for subway or arby's for dinner. :)
Woo!
 
Haha thanks. I've been listening to that cd nonstop...
I've been looking at some pictures and I feel like I can do this. My pictures from christmas two years ago... I didn't even realize I was that large. I've been surfing around and finding "thinspiration" pics. There are some really messed up ones out there though, like skin and bones pictures, but there are a fair number that are actually attainable and I only pay attention to those. I don't understand these girls at 120lbs whining about how fat they are. Those are the same girls that develop eating disorders. Mmkay No thank you, I already have enough problems.

Wow... I knew this would happen. Got back from lunch with granddad, where I TOTALLY pigged out. I'm talking, 3 dinner rolls with butter before my meal came. It was ridiculous. I reigned myself in, though, and ate only half of my pot roast stroganoff... I swear to you though, I feel like I'm going to explode. I even passed up on dessert... haha. So I think if I just stop where I am right now, I'll be okay for today :rolleyes:

I'll hold off on dinner until I can actually enjoy it. I just got back at 3.
:puke: Oh man, I feel so... gross. I hate overeating... and yet for some reason I keep doing it. :willy_nilly:

Sigh...

Any comments? :bigear: How do you guys cope with compulsive overeating?
Well... I guess that's it.
<3
 
I feel so gross. :( Damn you, McDonald's!! Your milkshakes are just too irresistible to pass up...:willy_nilly:
 
Glad to see I was missed in my absence. *rolls eyes*
*sigh*
I've fallen. HARD.
I don't know what to do. I feel disgusting and fat and I hate looking at myself... but I can't stop binging... I don't know how to regain my will and confidence.

I've discovered a pattern to the madness, though. While I have mood swings every day, many times a day, I also have mood cycles that last months. Spring/earlier summer I am (usually) in a generally happier mood, while late summer/fall/winter I fall into a funk. It's not always the seasons though, I have cycles of moods that overpower the schedule. Maybe one month I have all this willpower, then suddenly it ends and I just go, What's the point? Sometimes it lasts two or three months, sometimes only a week.

It's so damn frustrating. :(

Thanksgiving is tomorrow, and I think I'm reaching my breaking point. I'm going to call my psychiatrist and see if I can bump up my antidepressants. It's always this time of year. ALWAYS.

I really think the meds will help.

I went up a band size in bras. Shit. I don't like going up a size in ANYTHING, but underwear is definitely a bummer.

I always feel like I'm going to throw up after I eat something sweet and like way too much of it. I don't want to, but it's always like, a gross feeling like I just ate something spoiled.

Ew.

How are you guys going to get through Thanksgiving dinner?
 
Lilyofthevalley said:
Glad to see I was missed in my absence. *rolls eyes*
*sigh*
I've fallen. HARD.
I don't know what to do. I feel disgusting and fat and I hate looking at myself... but I can't stop binging... I don't know how to regain my will and confidence.

I've discovered a pattern to the madness, though. While I have mood swings every day, many times a day, I also have mood cycles that last months. Spring/earlier summer I am (usually) in a generally happier mood, while late summer/fall/winter I fall into a funk. It's not always the seasons though, I have cycles of moods that overpower the schedule. Maybe one month I have all this willpower, then suddenly it ends and I just go, What's the point? Sometimes it lasts two or three months, sometimes only a week.

It's so damn frustrating. :(

Thanksgiving is tomorrow, and I think I'm reaching my breaking point. I'm going to call my psychiatrist and see if I can bump up my antidepressants. It's always this time of year. ALWAYS.

I really think the meds will help.

I went up a band size in bras. Shit. I don't like going up a size in ANYTHING, but underwear is definitely a bummer.

I always feel like I'm going to throw up after I eat something sweet and like way too much of it. I don't want to, but it's always like, a gross feeling like I just ate something spoiled.

Ew.

How are you guys going to get through Thanksgiving dinner?
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Hey Annie,
Sorry for the lack of replies Ive been a little MIA from the forum lately due to an excessive class load and busy life. Ive been wanting to post its just been hard for me to find the time. I think bumping up your meds might be a good idea if it would help you feel more in control. It sounds like you have a case of S.A.D.D. Its super common in MN and WI (even a lot of the northern state) because its pretty impossible for us to get proper sunlight and plus we're cold allll the time. Do you take any vitamin supplements? I know that Vitamin D can help a lot with this type of condition because when your not in the sun your body cant make enough and having it supplemented can really boost your mood and help with the symptoms of S.A.D.D I actually had a pretty bad Vit. D deficency this summer because I was so sick and have been on 4000 iu since then. However, dont take that much! Id get some around 1,000iu per tablet and maybe start with one a day :)

As for Thanksgiving, I was a complete pig lol :piggy:. I actually had 2 thanksgivings, one with my family and then one with my bfs family so I ate a ton--ended up with bad heartburn and laid in bed watching TV the rest of the night. I kind of have no restraint on the holidays. The next day I went to a wedding and it was at Maggianos and I defintely pigged again. But once the next week came (monday) I went back on my diet and have actually lost more weight, so dont worry about slip ups just remind yourself you need to get back on once you step off.

Also dont worry about going up in a size in bras or underwear I frequently change I have a ton of mediums and larges hanging around and some are tight some are loose and some are normal. I never have a normal wardrobe my clothes are fat clothes and skinny clothes and then somewhere in between. Everyone fluctuates. And you can even just think of it that your boobs got bigger and hey thats always a plus right? :biggrinjester:

Dont worry so much lady, just look at the big picture and what you want in life. If this is what you want and your ok with it then be happy. If its not, try and make small changes and work towards what you want. Everyday is a new day. Don't dwell so much on the downs, but celebrate the little things in the day that make you happy. Plus its the holiday season, and well who doesnt love that?

See you around :blush5:
 
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You made my day. Thank you for taking the time to write something so nice. The morning started off badly, now I think things will be all right. You should be a motivational speaker :)

You actually made me log back in to my calorie counter... :)

Thanks for friending me on facebook, too. I don't really get on there much because it's so depressing because no one even notices that I'm there... but maybe if I have a real friend on there, it won't be so sad.

Anyway, just got up. I could have sworn I saw my mom's car here at like 8:30, but I woke up again at 9:30 and it was gone. I checked the school website, too, and there weren't any delays or closings... maybe I'm just being too hopeful. *sigh*

I think today will be better. I still haven't gotten my meds adjusted quite right yet, but I think positive thinking will help. Maybe I should try being optimistic for once. I always immediately think of the worst possible outcome, like driving to the mall, I think of a horrible fiery car crash and try to think of who would survive (can't be both of us, of course, that wouldn't be the worst case scenario) or going to Ikea and thinking of losing my parents and the cell phones aren't working and I forgot where our car was and I wander around until closing and they kick me out so I have to figure out how to walk home (that's like 2 hours away) and then I get abducted and tortured and murdered and my parents have to look for me and they find my dismembered body in the basement of some sociopathic serial killer. You wouldn't believe all that runs through my head, but it takes an instant, a simple suggestion, and my head races through horrible scenarios that don't even really make much sense (why wouldn't I use the phone at ikea to call someone? they could announce over the loudspeaker to have my parents come find me... my parents would never leave without me, and I'm sure people at Ikea wouldn't kick me out and make me walk home, etc.)

I don't know why I do that, it's been that way since the hospital a long long time ago.

Anyway, I'm determined to have a nice day. I have my favorite class tonight, and after next tuesday, finals are over and the semester is over... I'm a little bummed that I have 2 finals in 1 day, one directly after the other, but the professor said I can come in and start my math final early so I have time to study a little for my ethics final. I'm lucky my professor is understanding, I don't know what I'd do if he wasn't. So a little speed bump at the end of the semester, but it's all good. Classes are OVER after tuesday... :D

I kind of screwed up 2 of my fingers on my left hand. I chewed at them a while back and somehow they got infected and now I have a wart (god I hate that word) growing on one finger right beside my nail, like up the side of the cuticle, and on the other I thought it was just infected but now there's one on there too, right below the nail on the cuticle. So now I'm using this wart (shudder) remover liquid and they hurt! :( I don't know what they'll look like after they're healed, I've never done this before.

Icky.

Anyway, I went to Ikea with my parents and my brother this past sunday, because he had a $300 gift card from my grandmom, aunt, and uncle for when he graduated VT. I found something I wanted for christmas, too, it's a little kitchen cart that I'm going to put my new aquarium on. I'm getting a 55 gallon aquarium for my hermit crabs, and most of what I'm getting for christmas is related to setting up my new tank. Mike and Ike are being really active, which I've never seen them like that, and they're digging all over the tank and pulling the flowers and stuff down and dragging them around. It's strange, I hope they can settle in the new tank and molt there so I have enough substrate for them to cover themselves properly. So I'm thrilled to get the tank, I've been saving up for months to buy it. :) I ordered my christmas gifts from petsmart.com (I put all the things in the cart and my dad bought them) because he wanted to make sure he ordered the right stuff. I ordered my shells the other day, too. Like $27 worth of hermit crab shells! I'm psyched, I haven't had any shells for the crabs to change in to since I got them (well, I ordered some off ebay, but all but one was too small, and Eleanor didn't like any of hers, either, and Ike picked a huge murex shell, the big white and pink conch shell, that I had had already.)

I can't wait for christmas! :D

What are you doing for Christmas, Mariah?
 
Lilyofthevalley said:
You made my day. Thank you for taking the time to write something so nice. The morning started off badly, now I think things will be all right. You should be a motivational speaker :)

You actually made me log back in to my calorie counter... :)

Thanks for friending me on facebook, too. I don't really get on there much because it's so depressing because no one even notices that I'm there... but maybe if I have a real friend on there, it won't be so sad.

Anyway, just got up. I could have sworn I saw my mom's car here at like 8:30, but I woke up again at 9:30 and it was gone. I checked the school website, too, and there weren't any delays or closings... maybe I'm just being too hopeful. *sigh*

I think today will be better. I still haven't gotten my meds adjusted quite right yet, but I think positive thinking will help. Maybe I should try being optimistic for once. I always immediately think of the worst possible outcome, like driving to the mall, I think of a horrible fiery car crash and try to think of who would survive (can't be both of us, of course, that wouldn't be the worst case scenario) or going to Ikea and thinking of losing my parents and the cell phones aren't working and I forgot where our car was and I wander around until closing and they kick me out so I have to figure out how to walk home (that's like 2 hours away) and then I get abducted and tortured and murdered and my parents have to look for me and they find my dismembered body in the basement of some sociopathic serial killer. You wouldn't believe all that runs through my head, but it takes an instant, a simple suggestion, and my head races through horrible scenarios that don't even really make much sense (why wouldn't I use the phone at ikea to call someone? they could announce over the loudspeaker to have my parents come find me... my parents would never leave without me, and I'm sure people at Ikea wouldn't kick me out and make me walk home, etc.)

I don't know why I do that, it's been that way since the hospital a long long time ago.

Anyway, I'm determined to have a nice day. I have my favorite class tonight, and after next tuesday, finals are over and the semester is over... I'm a little bummed that I have 2 finals in 1 day, one directly after the other, but the professor said I can come in and start my math final early so I have time to study a little for my ethics final. I'm lucky my professor is understanding, I don't know what I'd do if he wasn't. So a little speed bump at the end of the semester, but it's all good. Classes are OVER after tuesday... :D

I kind of screwed up 2 of my fingers on my left hand. I chewed at them a while back and somehow they got infected and now I have a wart (god I hate that word) growing on one finger right beside my nail, like up the side of the cuticle, and on the other I thought it was just infected but now there's one on there too, right below the nail on the cuticle. So now I'm using this wart (shudder) remover liquid and they hurt! :( I don't know what they'll look like after they're healed, I've never done this before.

Icky.

Anyway, I went to Ikea with my parents and my brother this past sunday, because he had a $300 gift card from my grandmom, aunt, and uncle for when he graduated VT. I found something I wanted for christmas, too, it's a little kitchen cart that I'm going to put my new aquarium on. I'm getting a 55 gallon aquarium for my hermit crabs, and most of what I'm getting for christmas is related to setting up my new tank. Mike and Ike are being really active, which I've never seen them like that, and they're digging all over the tank and pulling the flowers and stuff down and dragging them around. It's strange, I hope they can settle in the new tank and molt there so I have enough substrate for them to cover themselves properly. So I'm thrilled to get the tank, I've been saving up for months to buy it. :) I ordered my christmas gifts from petsmart.com (I put all the things in the cart and my dad bought them) because he wanted to make sure he ordered the right stuff. I ordered my shells the other day, too. Like $27 worth of hermit crab shells! I'm psyched, I haven't had any shells for the crabs to change in to since I got them (well, I ordered some off ebay, but all but one was too small, and Eleanor didn't like any of hers, either, and Ike picked a huge murex shell, the big white and pink conch shell, that I had had already.)

I can't wait for christmas! :D

What are you doing for Christmas, Mariah?
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No problem Annie! I know that when Im feeling the worst and feel like nobody cares that something like that can really make me feel better. No one likes feeling like they are alone in the wolrd, and Im just here to remind you that you're not. We havent even met in real life and im still interested to what you are up to daily also concerned when your having such awful thoughts about yourself.

Thats such a bummer on the having school today, haha we actually have a snow day. All UW campus's are closed I didnt realize til this morning because I was supposed to have a really hard Biochem test today that I stayed up til midnight studying for so when I got up early to study some more at 6:30 I made some coffee and was readng in my room when my roomate came out and told me to go back to bed cuz classes were cancelled. I didnt believe her because i was so worried about my test and waited til 7:15 to go back to bed after I got the email from the chancellor. Im so paranoid lol. But my classes are also over tuesday which means my test is moved to friday so i have 2 more days of studying. Which is really good.

Haha and funny story about warts I had a friend my freshmen year of college who got one on her finger and she didnt want to get it removed cuz she was scared so she tried all these crazy things to get it off. Like she walked around with pieces of banana peels bandaided to her finger in hopes that would shrink it and she also tried to used canned air (the kind you clean computers with) to freeze it off. In the long run it never worked out and she had to use the actual medicine to get it off. But still funny when I think about it :blush5:

Thats so cute you spoil your hermit crabs so much. I must say I have the same problem with my Chinchillas. Theyre expensive little buggers!

I'm not sure what Im doing for Christmas yet. On the 19th my boyfriends family is having a Christmas party but I know that he has a final that night so I might go to that party once hes off. My bfs mom wants me to make my delicious egg rolls for it and I said I would so i might just go and drop those off but who knows! My sister is coming home with her boyfriend on the 24th and I think we're going to my dads moms house for Christmas Eve like we do every year. However there arent many of u left because weve had a few members of the family pass away..Me and my sister were hopeful that we might go to a china buffet...kind of like the christmas story haha. On Christmas day we're having my moms side of the family over so its oging to be a pain being home cuz I know my mom will be stressed out about having the house clean. Otherwise it should be a pretty standard break. I dont think Im going anywhere...but I do have to work on my portfolio for next semester and its going to take a while. So im sure I'll spend lots of hours doing that.

What are your plans?
 
Oh FINALLY! A day when I actually give a damn. So I'm up to 222, only 10 lbs away from my starting weight (AHHHHHHH!), but I've been kind of waiting until I felt like I could actually do something about my behavior that starting and failing over and over and just getting all depressed. AND TODAY LOOKS GOOD.

So over the break I saw my friend Emma :D She got me two hermit crabs and a climbing thingy for christmas, and I got her really yummy smelling body wash and lotion (Green Apple scent for both!) AND a very very pretty necklace from fashion bug. I was thrilled to get the new little crabbies (I don't know if anyone knows what this means, but they're Ecuadorian hermit crabs, they're much more active and like it hotter and more humid) so all in all I have 11 hermit crabs, but most of them are down either molting or destressing... I'm really excited, though, they seem to like my new 55 gallon tank quite well!

I start classes tomorrow, pretty excited about that, I have Algebra 2 tomorrow, then after that I'm not exactly sure, I'll have to check.

My mom's taking an online class and she's going to go for her master's degree. :)

Christmas came and went without as much notice this year. My parents had to actually wake me up Christmas morning... for the first time in my life. I got a whole bunch of supplies for the new tank (It took NINE bricks of substrate to get the tank ready. To put that in perspective, it takes ONE brick to fill a 10 gallon, with some left over!) I only had 6 gallons of distilled water, so I had to wait until the stores opened back up... it was a bummer, but I messed around with my new Lady Gaga cd and Paramore cd. :) They both ROCK.

:) That's all, I'm going to make a playlist for the way back home (I'm at my granddad's house visiting... he's so funny. Such a smartass. )

<3
 
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