antoniak1423
New member
So....where do i start? Well, my name is antonia. I am 24 yrs old. I guess it all started with my mom. She has always been overweight and has never failed to let me know that i have her body type and that there is just nothing i can do about it.
well, in high school i was not the thinnest girl, but i was healthy and muscular and athletic, despite being pregnant. yeah, u heard right, i had my son shortly after i turned 15. 2 weeks after having him, i was thinner than before i had gotten pregnant, without even trying. i didn't want everyone to treat me weird, so i resumed normal activities (swim team, track, gym class). i am sure that helped. it also probably helped that my son's dad broke up with me because i was "ruining" his life.
i lose weight after a break up. (i wonder if i could get my hubby to pretend break up with me?????
j/k. lol. anyway, let's fast forward a bit....
I got married at the tender age of 19. we are still married and i have only just realized what a mess i could have gotten myself into had my husband been a different man than he is. luckily, we work well together
. When we married he gave me this comfort and i knew that he would stick by my side through thick and thin...literally
. the day we got married i weighed about 150 i think. i was about a month pregnant, we would later find. this pregnancy was the complete opposite of the first. James (my husband) would do anything for me, wait on me hand and foot. he'd go out at 3 am to fetch me some taco bell and pineapple chunks and pizza. i would make comments about my weight gain, and he let me know that he loved me and that the gain was beautiful and that i was pregnant and it was awesome and all that (he loved to make me feel great about myself). when i went into labor with our daughter i weighed 199. i struggled to lose the weight and used that 2 year time period, u know: the time they say u have to lose the baby weight before u r just deemed fat, yeah i used that to my advantage. whenever i would get disgusted with myself, i would remind myself that i have 2 years. well, it is five years later and i weigh 203
i have lost 10 pounds so far, but i am to the point where i am sick and tired of my weight. i really feel like a thin person trapped inside of a fat body. my friend and i gained weight at the same time, same rate, about the same amount. we talk about this all the time. we genuinely cannot believe that we have to shop in the plus size side of the store, and that we are at health risks we never even thought about. when i run into people from high school, i run to the opposite end of the building and hide. I DO NOT run up and give hugs!!!!
well...i do give hugs if i notice that they have gained as much as me
. i am ready to feel good about myself again. i want my kids to see a better example of what a healthy person should be. i am a great person, but i want to make sure that they have a healthy mom because i feel that i am their #1 role model, next to their dad.
i am so determined right now, but i have a problem with losing determination when i see something i want to eat. i need to know that i am not alone and that there are people who are watching me and counting on me and who will back me up. I also need to know how to do stuff on here. i don't really know how to navigate this place yet! i think i know how to do the ticker thingy, let's see here... isn't there a better way than to have to copy/paste every time??
why doesn't that work!!!!!?????
I got married at the tender age of 19. we are still married and i have only just realized what a mess i could have gotten myself into had my husband been a different man than he is. luckily, we work well together
i am so determined right now, but i have a problem with losing determination when i see something i want to eat. i need to know that i am not alone and that there are people who are watching me and counting on me and who will back me up. I also need to know how to do stuff on here. i don't really know how to navigate this place yet! i think i know how to do the ticker thingy, let's see here... isn't there a better way than to have to copy/paste every time??
why doesn't that work!!!!!?????