Anke Says: Just Do It!

Oh, that's a big step! I hope the move is smooth. Should I wish you sore muscles from the activity? Hehe.

And oh my gosh, thirty pounds? You're my hero! Now if only I could kick my final pudge!
 
I just ate a whole slab of chocolate. (Monday morning)

This weekend was a series of peanut butter sandwiches stuffed down with milk. And rusks and boudoir biscuits. And hot chocolate light, finished half a container. And quite possibly a whole big bag of crisps to myself... and a few whiskeys and sodas... This was all ON TOP of my normal healthy eating.

Don't know what to do. I know I'm on PMS. And I know I will have gained or maintained by Tuesday. I didn't enjoy any of the binging, what a waste.

I'm moving out with my boyfriend this weekend... and getting a little scared... are we going to fight more?? Are we gonna have money trouble?? I want to run away and hide. I don't want to be at work, I don't WANT this job.

I know I am catastrophising (making a huge big deal out of EVERYTHING, even though there's just a few little problems.)

I am at work now. I decided I would eat healthy for the rest of today, even though I just had a "Cadbury Dairy Milk - Chocolate Brownie" slab for breakfast.

If I don't JUST CARRY ON now, I'll go too far off track. I want to just go home now though, and sleep. Why do I always end up being a weak person inside when the going gets tough??

I've also been a non-smoker now for almost 6 weeks... and I've gotten to that point where I WILL NOT pick up a cigarette again, it's just not worth it. But now I ESPECIALLY yearn for bad food in excess. I KNOW when I'm eating for emotional reasons... why do I CHOOSE to keep doing it??

Anyway, I give myself some leeway, I have not done this SO BADLY in a while.

Oh God, I'm so scared I'll lose my job. I never do any work. I don't feel good enough for anything. I just want to cry now.

I think the root to this issue may all have to do with me still needing something like the cigarettes to cope. So now I don't really cope. I've not kept up with regular exercise since I stopped smoking. I also have not replaced it with anything... and I can FEEL the GAP. I NEED to fill it!!!!

With what?? Should I just TRY to exercise (I don't feel like I can bring myself to.)

I want to go home. I'm here at work, dreading the moment somebody notices that I'm useless and do no work. I want to make up a stupid excuse and go home. BUT THIS SOLVES NOTHING, I'll just have to come back and face it tomorrow.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!??
 
What job would you LIKE to do? Are you going to school for some other career? Maybe that could help fill the void. IMO doing something positive and progressive always makes you feel better and more confident.
 
Hey Lilly. Sorry, think I just needed to rant a bit above.

You are right in pointing that out though... what do I WANT to do? Well, I'm figuring this out as I go along right now... a dietician, a dancer... pondering these things at the mo...

I am feeling a little better now. I have spoken to some friends, they got me all excited about moving out... I'm gonna start making things (decoupage) to use in my new home.... placemats, coasters, etc :)

And I'm GOING TO exercise today... got this Taebo DVD to check out, so may as well....

Thank goodness my shlumps don't last weeks anymore... it's all about WANTING to get out of it.

Phew, feels like that was a close one though :p
 
Hey, Anke. You'll be fine. It's probably a good thing to have a mini freak out about the move. This way you won't be surprised when these problems come up, and they will come up. You'll be fine.
 
Oh never feel sorry about venting...better out than in, amongst other things lol. Good luck with deciding what you want to do. It took me years to find a good working environment. Even though I love the field I'm in, it took me a long time to find a place where I fit in. Some times personalities clash :argue:, work loads suck, lack of respect or recognition, etc etc, there are so many reasons why work can suck but it is a MAJOR downer to be somewhere 8hrs a day and not want to be there. I love where I work now and it even shows in my performance (I just got a promotion :D), the sad part is I'll start looking for somewhere new to fit in all over again in about a year and a half...hopefully I'll be done with school and because of company policy, we have to transfer with that much of an increase in position.
 
Alright, the move is underway, and MAN is it exercise!!!

Thanks for checking in guys :) Don't know when I'll be back on...
 
Hey!

Well, we are in our new place and it is awesome.

I only have internet at work now and will not be able to check in daily for a little while as I have to get a lot of work done at work now...

I will continue to update at least once a week though :p

Cheers!
 
Wow, Anke!
I'm really proud of you for working it out. Good luck with finding that place to fit in. I can't really give any advice on that... I've never even HAD a job. haha.
BUT I wish you the best.
We all have those days... just try to do better and DON'T WORRY about it.
:D
Mucho amor!
<3
 
hey! Just checking in!

I am having a ball in my new place, and I really need to focusw on work at the mo, so I may be away-ish....

:nopity: But I will still check in! Thanks for popping by!
 
Somebody say my name? :cheers2:

Glad things are goin' well. But, uh, you better not be slackin', over there.

I got my eye on you. The one that shoots laser beams!
 
Hey Anke! I'm really happy things are going so great for you!

Keep on workin!

:D

I know you'll do great!
 
Hey Anke,
Congrats on moving into your own place with your bf and the new job!!
Also congrats on all the losses. You go Girl!! Keep it up!!
Thanks for the rep. I needed to hear your words, or read them anyway. It was very kind of you to say and very true. I should be losing weight for myself and not anyone else and thank you for reminding me of that, if only
I could be in the habit of thinking of myself more often lol a little selfishness is ok I think, now I just have to change my behaviors and thanks!!

Totally wishing you luck and joy in your new abode!

always
your friend
natalie jo :seeya:
 
Hey guys!

Well, LOVING the place :D

So, my scooter is broken and I came up with the bright idea to ride my bf's old bicycle to and from work to save everyone hassles... plus it's good for me!

Only to realise it takes me an hour and a half and I have to do some of it walking as it's to steep uphill (uphill ALL THE WAY to work, hometime is gonna be suweeeeet!!!)

So, it's 8km, twice a day... THIS should keep the weight loss going! Good thing too, coz some comfort eating went down this weekend... must get it into my head that I DON'T HAVE TO eat all the yummies my bf insists on keeping in the cupboard, sigh. Does anyone else have to deal with this?

Ooooo, can't wait, the fridge is coming today hopefully. :) Been eating cupboard food and getting some food treats since last week Tuesday!

So today it's back to healthy foods in the right amounts. Oh, and I've been working my way up to 20 ladies pushups and can now do 5 man pushups! Woohoo, I'm doing the hundredpushups.com program, so I'm gonna work my way up again from today :)

I've also started skipping on our balcony... just do about 100 skips in a session, but planning on working it up to 20 mins cardio.

Got belly dancing tonight as well, phew this week's gonna be fun-filled! :seeya:
 
Anke, good to hear about he new place.

For the snack cupboard, is it possible to keep all the BF's snack in a cupboard separate from yours? This way it's a place that you just don't go. No temptation, or even a point of trust that you don't go in his snack stash.

I think that you'll find that the hour and a half to do 8k will come down. That seems like a slow pace for running, let alone biking. Of course the hills can kill you. Keep it up and you'll be doing it in half the time.

Congrats about the push ups.
 
hmmm, I think I may just speak to him about this... maybe just to put it in an out of reach for the most part cupboard...
 
Hey guys!

Well, LOVING the place :D

So, my scooter is broken and I came up with the bright idea to ride my bf's old bicycle to and from work to save everyone hassles... plus it's good for me!

Only to realise it takes me an hour and a half and I have to do some of it walking as it's to steep uphill (uphill ALL THE WAY to work, hometime is gonna be suweeeeet!!!)

So, it's 8km, twice a day... THIS should keep the weight loss going! Good thing too, coz some comfort eating went down this weekend... must get it into my head that I DON'T HAVE TO eat all the yummies my bf insists on keeping in the cupboard, sigh. Does anyone else have to deal with this?

Ooooo, can't wait, the fridge is coming today hopefully. :) Been eating cupboard food and getting some food treats since last week Tuesday!

So today it's back to healthy foods in the right amounts. Oh, and I've been working my way up to 20 ladies pushups and can now do 5 man pushups! Woohoo, I'm doing the hundredpushups.com program, so I'm gonna work my way up again from today :)

I've also started skipping on our balcony... just do about 100 skips in a session, but planning on working it up to 20 mins cardio.

Got belly dancing tonight as well, phew this week's gonna be fun-filled! :seeya:
YOU go girl, that hill sounds gruesome....walking huh!?!?! That will definitely keep the weight loss going.....and going...and going.....LOL!!! ;) Keep it up...!!! :)

....And about the sweets, the back of the top cupboard......OUT OF SIGHT OUT OF MIND......works!

I'm gonna check out the Hundredpushups.com thanks ;).......I need some GUNS here, I've got people I wanna BLAST!!!! :smilielol5:........now I need to LOAD EM!!!
 
Turns out the road both ways has some uphills and downhills, no mercy!

So my boyfriend dropped me at work today! I think I would have collapsed randomly one day this week if he didn't... I'll still ride the bicycle to work again, maybe even try walking the whole way too. Just not all in one week!

Well, work really IS looking up... that's good.

Taebo turned out to be a VHS tape and I don't own a video machine! :(

I AM however skipping. With doing sets of 30 or so, I can get up to 150 skips pretty easily, so thinking to try up that to a more or less continuous 20 minutes per day.

I LOVE MY NEW PLACE!

Surprisingly, no sore legs today, but a SERIOUSLY sore ass cheek or two, damn those little seats!!!

So I had a massive binge last night. There seemed no reason for it, but I literally had to KEEP EATING, til I could FEEL the discomfort of fullness. I just couldn't get full! Maybe it had to do with all the exercise yesterday, but seriously, 6 rusks, 2 slices buttered and honeyed toast, salami and cheese on a bun, hi fibre cereal and milk. That was all ON TOP OF my food allowed for the day according to formula. Sigh.

All I want to do, is not make this a habit... it's happened (not to this extent) 3 nights in a row now. Tonight WILL be different, I must break the cycle before it gains momentum!!
 
Sorry to hear about the binge, but at least you didn't go for the purge. Jumping rope is a great exercise. I was trying to think about what to do today since I want to take a day break from running. I think I'll jump rope. Thanks for the idea.
 
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