Alligatorob's Diary

[Skurgeon]

If I don’t start eating right away I have a problem where I run out of time to get enough calories in. It’s a very weird perspective for me because I still think I’m eating too much and I’ll gain weight but I keep losing weight.

 

[Llama]

Makes sense for someone who needs to get that many calories in and tries to do so somewhat healthily. I don't eat nearly as many calories but I still struggle to get my veggies and protein in if I don't have at least three meals.

 

[Cate]

I did IF yesterday because of a fasting CT scan & it really doesn't suit me, unfortunately. I get very dizzy. If it suits you I think it would be a wonderful thing to do.

 

[alligatorob]

Today was a good day, ate well and exercised. Sticking to the IF is a bit of a struggle, but so far so good. I have become comfortable with small meals and snacks throughout the day, two bigger meals will take some getting used to.

If you're ok with fasting in general then a mild fasted workout is fine. 3 hours of intense exercise probably wouldn't be great.

I think it is probably what you call a mild workout. So far I have not noticed much difference with or without breakfast.

Then there’s me. I woke up at 2:30 am and ate almost 1000 calories before going to the gym for 5am

I once woke up at 2:30 am four days in a row for a hiking event and eating was the last thing on my mind.

I can eat anytime! And have binged at all hours of the morning. However it is not my usual binge time, and I find it easier to fast or delay eating in the morning than any other time of day.

If I don’t start eating right away I have a problem where I run out of time to get enough calories in. It’s a very weird perspective for me

I don't eat nearly as many calories but I still struggle to get my veggies and protein in if I don't have at least three meals.

I have had problems getting enough to eat, I find myself eating something right at the end of the 8 hour window that I don't really want just to get the calories up a bit. I am trying not to go under 1,200, but would be fine with 1,500 or more. I struggle later at night when I used to have my evening snack, sticking to the 8 hr window is a struggle some days.

I get very dizzy

Back a year or so ago when my weight got down to 143 I got dizzy a lot. Now that I have gained a few pounds I don't. Not sure if there is a connection, but I do think I feel better with a few more pounds. Just wishing it were a few less, LOL.

 

[Marsia]

Glad the IF is going so well. When I lost 50 pounds last time, I am pretty sure it was the IF that did it. I also ate at the end of my window to make sure I made it through the fast ok.

 

[Cate]

but I do think I feel better with a few more pounds. Just wishing it were a few less, LOL.

You'll get back down a bit, Rob. This time we'll remind you when you get back to the 160's & start thinking "maybe just a little more"

 

[Llama]

Iirc it wasn't so much "just a little more" as it was "lemme stay at these very low calories so I'm not as tempted to binge". I really hope you can find an alternative to that!

 

[alligatorob]

Well, I binged yesterday. I hate posting after a binge, but I think it is the best thing to do. I could blame stress or the IF, but I know its just me unable to resist the cravings, I don't really need a reason...

Glad the IF is going so well.

Thanks Marsia, but yesterday the "so well" thing ended. I don't know if I will try and stick with the IF or not, have to think about it. Either way I will do my best to eat right today.

You'll get back down a bit, Rob. This time we'll remind you when you get back to the 160's & start thinking "maybe just a little more"

Thanks Cate, if I ever get there I will probably need that reminder...

"lemme stay at these very low calories so I'm not as tempted to binge". I really hope you can find an alternative to that!

Thanks Lama, I guess we are all, or many of us anyway, trying to figure out how to reduce the binge urge. I find just posting here and keeping at it helps...

 

[Llama]

You once said your dad told you that the best way to deal with an itch is to just not scratch. Pretty sure I tried to explain that while that's true it's just not an option when you have eczema, because the urge is so overwhelming. I imagine it's the same with binge urges. I can say no to my binge urges when I genuinely want to and believe I can do it. Maybe you can't, not when you're in the middle of an "outbreak". But like with my eczema there are probably strategies you could use to reduce the frquency of the outbreaks (and maybe how bad they get). My eczema has been gone inactive for two years now: the kinds of itching I get now are 100% resistable. Maybe the same will some day be true for you if you keep working on optimization.

So what have you got so far? What helps, even if it's not perfect, and what makes it harder to stop eating? Lots of little pieces may add up to a generally workable system with occasional breakages.

 

[Cate]

Well, I binged yesterday. I hate posting after a binge, but I think it is the best thing to do. I could blame stress or the IF, but I know its just me unable to resist the cravings, I don't really need a reason...

I think you do very well posting after a binge. There's nothing to be ashamed of. I understand the feeling in that's how I feel when I have "weakened" & had some wine. We're not superhuman, Rob. We're mere mortals.
You will get to your "happy" weight again, I'm sure. I have more faith in you than I have in myself.

 

[Marsia]

I didn't do well this last week either. I need to just start over and put it behind me. I think it helps me to go over where I might need more support for myself - like I need to stop buying tempting foods for other people in my family for a while, need to have a going out to restaurants strategy, need to drink more water because I think I mistake thirst for hunger a lot, ...

Anyway, I figure we'd be so much worse off if we weren't trying, and reprogramming ourselves to get back into the weight loss groove is not easy. But we've done it before, and I know we'll get there again!!

 

[alligatorob]

Today was a better day, I ate well, no binges! However no exercise either, just trying to recover from yesterday's marathon yardwork. It snowed so no yardwork today either. A first day of spring snow storm. It was wet snow and not much stuck, nothing to plow or shovel

Maybe the same will some day be true for you if you keep working on optimization.

You will get to your "happy" weight again, I'm sure

Anyway, I figure we'd be so much worse off if we weren't trying, and reprogramming ourselves to get back into the weight loss groove is not easy. But we've done it before, and I know we'll get there again!!

Thanks y'all for the support and encouragement. I think we will all muddle through together, slowly getting better!

I can say no to my binge urges when I genuinely want to and believe I can do it.

So why do you think you binge? For me I just get an overwhelming urge and my mind kind of rationalizes it as not so bad. Once I get started it doesn't stop until I have eaten a lot...

I think you do very well posting after a binge. There's nothing to be ashamed of. I understand the feeling in that's how I feel when I have "weakened" & had some wine. We're not superhuman, Rob. We're mere mortals.

Thanks Cate, and I know you are right, but it sure feels bad at the time. However I am getting past it and again hoping not to repeat...

I didn't do well this last week either. I need to just start over and put it behind me.

Sorry to hear about last week, but you are right starting over is the best we can do.

Anyway, I figure we'd be so much worse off if we weren't trying, and reprogramming ourselves to get back

Absolutely! I know I have lost more weight and kept it off much better than ever before in my life, even if not perfect that's really good. And coming here for support and advice has been a big reason for my success. I'll take the failures on myself. But I do know the success has greatly outweighed the failures.

 

[Llama]

So why do you think you binge? For me I just get an overwhelming urge and my mind kind of rationalizes it as not so bad.

Sometimes the urge is really bad, and it's genuinely hard to resist. But sometimes I just don't really want to say no. So I rationalize it. Like yesterday, when I was coming back from a hike. I was a bit tired, kind of cold, and starting to get hungry. I'd just burned off a lot of calories. I had to walk past the one little store that's open on Sunday. And I have a habit of overeating after a hike. So much so that I'd reminded myself in the morning I should make a plan to avoid doing so this time, because I had a good week and I wanted to stay the course. But I didn't really want to, so I didn't make that plan and the above rationalizations won out. Even though I had delicious, healthy food waiting in the fridge. The urge wasn't that bad, really. But I wanted my buzz.

 

[alligatorob]

Did 2 hours and 15 minutes in the gym today and feel more tired than usual. But not bad, glad I did it!

sometimes I just don't really want to say no. So I rationalize it

That is something I do as well... My mind can play tricks, it can figure out many reasons for bingeing, too many. Sometimes I even get the feeling that if I can do it in secret it will be ok, who's to know? I think that is one reason I so hate to post that I have binged, and I know that knowing I will be posting has sometimes stopped a binge. Good reason to post I guess...

This ain't no fun, but its what I, and others here too I believe, have to live with and figure out how to manage. I am doing a better job than I have post diet and weight loss in the past. Not as well as I would like, but better...

 

[Llama]

The way I see it an occasional binge at a healthy weight can't be AS bad as regular binging when obese. Definitely not healthy, but way less bad than it could be.
Also: working out the day after a binge generally feels hard for me. I remember you feeling the opposite when you were at your lowest weight, which probably means you were underweight for your frame at the time.

 

[Cate]

Hi, Rob. I think the fact that we are all here trying to be healthy & being open about our struggles helps all of us.
We are all different, but I need 3 "proper" meals of about 350 cals each per day to not think about binging or snacking. It suits me best. Then I have some fruit after lunch & dinner, within an hour of finishing my meals, to avoid sugar spikes.

 

[alligatorob]

Yesterday was a less than perfect day. After doing quite well I for some reason felt the urge to eat a bunch of bread late in the evening. According to MFP I was still in a calorie deficit, but just barely. I did get some good exercise.

The way I see it an occasional binge at a healthy weight can't be AS bad as regular binging when obese. Definitely not healthy, but way less bad than it could be.

You are right of course, Lama usually is... "Less bad than it could be" is a great way to describe my current eating, will have to remember that expression.

I remember you feeling the opposite when you were at your lowest weight, which probably means you were underweight for your frame at the time.

Yes, I am pretty sure I was underweight. When I was at about 165 my body fat was 15%, did not get it measured at 143, but it was probably too low. Funny I could still see fat on my body that I wanted gone, even at that low weight.

Hi, Rob. I think the fact that we are all here trying to be healthy & being open about our struggles helps all of us.

Well said, and I know your support helps me, I hope mine helps others, that is the way it works. And of course we are all different, but I suspect most folks here are fighting the same demons, they just show differently on different people.

 

[Llama]

Demons are crafty little buggers: they adapt their attacks for different targets. And we're absolutely stronger against them together.

 

[alligatorob]

Just got back from almost 3 hours at the gym, a cycling class, an arm and back day with my trainer, a Tabata class and a few of my band exercises in-between. It felt good, less tired afterwards than yesterday's just over 2 hours.

Talked with the trainer about how many calories the various workouts burn, she just said what we all know, it depends. I told her that I usually cut the MFP estimate down, by more than half for some things. She thought that made sense. Not that it matters too much, I believe what matters is doing it and longer term weight trends.

Demons are crafty little buggers

Do you think exorcism might work? Its one of the few things I haven't yet tried...

 

[Llama]

I'm guessing they're like dogs: exercise them or you'll need to exorcise them.