Alligatorob's Diary

toodamtall

Active member
Good to see you back! I just had a (very brief) hiatus myself, due to random weirdness in my life, so I'm glad to be back too.
 

Llama

Well-known member
To me the nutrition report looks great this way. Or at least the format does; the calories look like you're starving yourself again... I'm glad to hear you're not actively trying to eat that little anymore though. To me it makes perfect sense that your strength should've increased when you went from starvation calories to a dirty bulk 🙈
 

Cate

Long-term member.
I'm glad you're not restricting your calories down to the level you were, too. It's great that you are physically stronger & feeling better. Your metabolism must be higher now too. Now, to get those calories up a bit with some more healthy food :)
 

alligatorob

Respected Member
Missed hitting post last night, so this one is a bit late.

Not a bad day, did 2 and a half hours in the gym, a near record and ate well. Went out to dinner, but it was fine. However the calories are more WAG than accurate.
Good to see you back! I just had a (very brief) hiatus myself, due to random weirdness in my life, so I'm glad to be back too.
Thanks, and I appreciate your messages. "Random weirdness" is a good expression! With both of us back things should go a lot more smoothly here, LOL...
the calories look like you're starving yourself again... I'm glad to hear you're not actively trying to eat that little anymore though.
Figuring out what to eat is no easier than it ever was. I did kind of pay attention to what triggered my binges, and about the only thing I saw consistently was eating. It is really hard for me to stop, and the more I eat the harder it is. It may sound funny but I am more able to hold off binges on a starvation diet than when I try to eat more. I know you have said that abstinence is easier than moderation, guess I am living proof of that.

I think I am eating pretty much the same things I was eating whilst bingeing, just without the binges... Oh, the binges were not the same food, my binges were sweet, fat, and plentiful. As few nutrients as possible!

Right now I am just trying to eat in a way that will make it easiest to hold off the binges. Once stabilized I will think about adjusting calories up, if it makes sense. I am also trying to obsess a bit less on the calorie count, so maybe what I am posting is low. Over time my weight should tell.
To me it makes perfect sense that your strength should've increased when you went from starvation calories to a dirty bulk
Yeah, the trainer person I work with has talked about bulking up. She thinks my weight gain is good. Maybe so, but as you say it has been a dirty, not planned process.
It's great that you are physically stronger & feeling better. Your metabolism must be higher now too.
Thanks Cate, and it does feel better physically anyway. However I know where the binge path I was on was going, and found that very uncomfortable... I suspect you are right about my metabolism, it is feeling more normal.
1 (170).png
 

Llama

Well-known member
I agree that the first and most important thing is to stop the binging. Less stringent calorie counting sounds mentally healthy for someone who's maintaining, too. I definitely know how it feels when "clean" calories don't get me to a sustainable amount of calories and more calorie-dense stuff makes me want to binge ceaselessly. If I find a solution I'll be sure to share!
 

liza

Well-known member
Hi rob,

I started gaining weight, and at the same time started to feel better. My gut problems are much less. I don't know if there was a connection, but it sure felt like it.
Yes I think it's much better to take a good whole look at one's overall health rather than just the number on the scale. 140 sounded really really low to me and am not surprised at all that you would feel better with extra weight. The signs of better gut health and just feeling better overall seem to confirm that. Hopefully you can find your way to the good balance of healthy eating, and no binging and finding theplace that feels like a good weight and fitness level.

I admire your continued work on the journey.
 

Cate

Long-term member.
Hi, Rob. I would be wanting to stuff my face if I only ate fruit during the day. Do you ever have a meal of just bits & pieces? Yesterday I had celery, cheese, raw carrot, apple, snow peas, tomato, pickled onion & some crackers. I ate it slowly & it was so filling. You could add a boiled egg or some cold meat for extra protein.
 

Emilyrose

Well-known member
I'm glad to see you back Rob. I like reading about your life.

Of course, I don't like reading that you're struggling with bingeing again. It's all about getting the balance right, but it's so easy to start tipping in one direction over the other. The 180s sounds like it could be where you need to be. I'm really glad you are enjoying the gym - even if food goes out the window, exercise can really help.
 

alligatorob

Respected Member
Looks like I missed posting again, well I did write this last night, LOL!

A good day, 2 hours and 10 minutes at the gym and I did not binge.

Saturday I leave for 2 weeks of vacation, Louisiana & Florida, will try to post when I can. I probably will not be able to consistently count calories, but I will track the binge, and plan to have none to report. We'll see.
I agree that the first and most important thing is to stop the binging
Yes mam, if I can do that I think I will be ok.
If I find a solution I'll be sure to share!
Please do, in fact write a book, it would be a best seller!
I admire your continued work on the journey.
Thanks Liza, but its hard to imagine being "admired", not getting myself into this place would be more worthy of admiration! I think you are right about the overall health thing, but its not always easy to know what's best. We can just keep on trying.
Hi, Rob. I would be wanting to stuff my face if I only ate fruit during the day. Do you ever have a meal of just bits & pieces? Yesterday I had celery, cheese, raw carrot, apple, snow peas, tomato, pickled onion & some crackers. I ate it slowly & it was so filling. You could add a boiled egg or some cold meat for extra protein.
Thanks Cate, yesterday's lunch was a bit lighter than usual, I knew we'd be out to dinner later. I have been eating a lot of fruit lately, right now we have fresh pears, apples, and peaches, hard not to eat them. Fall is coming quickly, by the time I am back from vacation I think the fruit season will have passed.
Printable Nutrition Report 107_Page_1.jpgPrintable Nutrition Report 107_Page_2.jpg
 

alligatorob

Respected Member
I'll try to do this one right! Today my food went well, I did not binge. I sure was tempted a few times, but got through it. No exercise today, tomorrow I fly to New Orleans for 2 weeks of vacation, kept me pretty busy. I will do my best on vacation to not binge and post when I can. I will count calories if I can, but may have to let that slide. Not sure what exercise I will be able to do, but will try.
I'm glad to see you back Rob. I like reading about your life.
Thanks Emily, probably not as much as I enjoy your posts. You are a good writer and story teller.
I'm really glad you are enjoying the gym - even if food goes out the window, exercise can really help.
Yes, it helps. Exercise can't make up for a bad diet, but it does lessen the impact.
Who else will help "mansplain" how things are supposed to be done to all of these lovely ladies!
Right! Somebody needs to keep these ladies in line, LOL. I think they know me well enough to know my tong is stuck squarely in cheek right now.
Printable Nutrition108.jpg
 

Marsia

Well-known member
Hi Rob, I figure everyone has things they struggle with, and there are a lot worse things than struggling with diet. I also think our struggles help us mature and grow, and that figuring out what is healthy for you diet-wise and generally can change over the course of our lives, so learning to adopt to change is really big on my list. I hope you don't beat yourself up about struggling with food. So, so many people do. We need to find ways to value our well-being over temptation or reacting by being overly strict. It seems like the body building community has a good support system in that way. Where you train, are people into specific body building diets or philosophies?

Are you visiting family in Louisiana and Florida? I'd love to hear about the places you are visiting!! Have a wonderful time!!!
 

alligatorob

Respected Member
Yesterday was a good day, got to Louisiana safe and sound. Had a few more calories than usual, but no binge. I did have one beer not recorded in my diary, but that's all that got missed. A total of 3 beers (https://abita.com/brews/abita-amber#), the most I have had to drink in a very long time. Met a friend and his teenaged son at the New Orleans airport on arrival and drove to the Oak Alley Plantation (https://www.oakalleyplantation.org/) where we stayed in one of their cabins, all very nice. Still seeing a lot of hurricane Ida damage, the Plantation only got power on Oct 1, and lots of trees down and debris all around.

Once the sun comes up will be walking the Plantation grounds then after breakfast will go to Laura Plantation (https://www.lauraplantation.com/) for a tour, not one I have been on before. They are supposed to tell the Plantation story from the slaves point of view, that will be a first for me. Then on to Venice (Louisiana) tonight for the fishing. Will eat as best I can, probably have a crawfish omelet this morning at the Plantation restaurant, tonight they will be feeding us at the fishing camp, not sure what.
Enjoy your vacation!
Thanks, I plan to, so far so good.
Not having a certain constitutional weakness is a lot easier and less interesting than having it and meeting it head-on.

This makes a certain twisted sense.
LaMa, I think TDT is right, "twisted sense"! Not sure I could say I am meeting it head on, just some combination of pecking around the edges with the occasional head on charge, and the occasional (too frequent of late) lapses...
Have a fun time in New Orleans!
Thanks Vic, I plan to. However I won't be spending time in New Orleans until Wednesday, got some fishing and Plantation crawling to do first.
I also think our struggles help us mature and grow
Thanks Marisa, that should make some of us pretty big and mature by now, LOL! I do understand and appreciate what you are saying though. Its a process, and things do change as we age, lets hope a lot of those changes are for the best, the arthritis thing ain't...
Hope you have a wonderful time, Rob & catch lots of delicious fish
Thanks Cate, and I hope to catch lots of fish as well, but always have fun trying. Like a lot of things it's more about the process...
Printable Nutrition Report109.jpg
 

Llama

Well-known member
Sounds like a good start to your vacation and I like the look of your macros for the day. Jealous of the crawfish omelette breakfast!
 

Marsia

Well-known member
I looked up the Laura Plantation. Looks beautiful. A fishing vacation sounds so peaceful and nice, and I third the appreciation of the crawfish omelette - sounds divine! Hope you had a wonderful breakfast and that you had a relaxing time fishing. My daughter would be so jealous. She loves fishing so much!!
 
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