Aeris's Diary

A

Aeris

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Okay, here goes:

Here's my situation: I'm 26, 5'8'', somewhere between 146.5 and 148.5, about 26.7% bodyfat. I started somewhere between 155 and 160 (hard to say because my old scale SUCKED - I now have a good one). I'm about 10-15 lbs off where I want to be now, I think - I say that just because I was around 130-135 four years ago, and looked about like how I'd LIKE to look now! (And the few times I used to drop below 130 I didn't look healthy - scrawny, skeletal, anorexic-looking - I don't want to look like that again, just thin and fit!) I was substantially more active then, and ate whatever the heck I felt like, but I didn't usually care for super high saturated fat things - didn't like how they made me feel (but don't mistake than for a general plan of healthy eating). I've been a 'bread-atarian' for my entire life.

So, life happened, desk job, grad school, quit dancing and yoga, etc and BOOM. Up two sizes and 20 lbs and half my clothes don't fit. I was still eating anything I wanted, whever I wanted, but at least I'd stopped GAINING weight a year or so ago, so I'd stabilized somehow.

SO - Labor day I decided to do something about it finally. I want to drop those two sizes, and I want to do it ASAP!! Gave up the cigarettes, gave up soda (probably drank 1.5 liters of Dr. Pepper daily). Then about a week later I did a tiny bit of reading about calories, etc, and went nuts - cut to around 900 calories a day, did that for about a week. Yes, now I realize that was stupid, but I jumped in the lake with my clothes on. Thought I could speed up the process, ha! Had a crappy scale too, but I think I lost a few pounds, anywhere from 4-7 in the two weeks after Labor day. Then I got a better scale, and weighed in at 147.5 lbs. Starting exercising in earnest, and upped my calories to around 1200 - which I read somewhere was the lower limit. I thought this meant I wouldn't depress my metabolism, but then I keep reading that "1200 calories is what they feed coma patients." So then I upped the calories to 1500-1600. We'll see how that goes.

I take about one cheat day/meal a week (usually dinner out and drinks). I'm doing 6 days a week cardio - I'm trying out HIITS, just started today, we'll see if that does any good.

I'm doing strength training also, splitting lower and upper body on different days. And I'm taking one full day off of both cardio and strength training.

I only have access to a bodyfat scale every so often, and it went from 26.8% two weeks ago to 26.7% one week ago, which I consider to be statistically insignificant. Which is depressing, but ONWARD!

So - why am I doing this? Really? Because I'm going to be a bridesmaid in a family member's wedding and - uh, I'm vain. Seriously. Well, the bride's younger than me (23) and smoking hot. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to outshine her -- I seriously don't think I could even if she were hit by a mac truck, but she she's a dancer, and all the other bridesmaids will be dancer friends... I don't want to be "the fat bridesmaid", or even "the obviously not-smoking-hot bridesmaid". I know that sounds totally awful, but it's real. Okay, so I also want to get back to a place for me where I put on sexy clothes (to go out, or, *ahem*, to stay in) and love the way I look in them. That hasn't been true for maybe two years, and I think the hit my self-esteem has taken has hurt my relationship. So here's to fixin'.

So, the wedding's not for a while, but my goal is Christmas. It had been Halloween, but I don't think I'm going to make that, so I'm trying to be a little more realistic.

So that's me.
 
Heh, it doesn't sound bad at all.
Well... not from another woman's perspective :p
That sorta is one of the reason's why I want to lose weight as well.
Well.. helps that I'm fat and should be trying to lose weight in the first place heh... but my bf's sister is getting married next June and well.. I want to go to it looking as hot and thinner than her as I can! rofl.
Don't get me wrong, I wanna lose weight for my health as well... but to look be thinner than her would be icing on the cake.. ya know? hehe

Anywho! If you were active before, I'm sure it's gonna take you no time at all to lose the weight you want :)
 
Welcome

Hahaha... looks like weddings are key events in our lives. Even if we're not the bride!

I've a wedding end of the mth and another end of Dec. Both are close galfrends so I'll hv to work hard at it. ANd one of them is putting me at the recep so I get to see every guy who walks in! Hahhaha. Talk abt desperate. :p

Anyway hope u get to goal and do post often!:D
 
Welcome!!!! Hope you enjoy your stay here, I find it extremely helpful to be accountable for everything I eat by posting it in my diary. You can also get great feedback/suggestion.help what ever you want to call it, by doing this.............Yep Pinky, I also have a wedding to go to on the 20th of this month, it's my mom's-boyfriends's-daughter.... I hopefully will be buying a new outfit for this event, but it doesnt help that I can't dance :(
 
Thanks for all your responses!

I'm keeping track of all my food, and my weight in the FitDay page (easy to input food there, once you detail your typical foods). The link ought to be in my signature, if anyone wants to check it out ever.

I'm not detailing my activity there, because I think their calorie manipulations are a little insane. I started entering in everything I did one day that they have listed in their system, and the "calories burned" started SKYROCKETING. I'd be delusional to think I was burning over 3000 calories kids.

Anywho, happy today, because the scale said 146, which may indicate that yesterday's 146.5 was not a random fluke - a few days ago I started crying because it was 147.5, next day 148, next day 148.5. Emotional disaster. Then my bf told me he wasn't sure he liked me doing all this if it was going to hit me like this emotionally. Okay, it didn't hurt that I was hormonal, but still.

Okay kids, I'm off to the gym - going to try to do some interval cardio. Later today strength training for the arms, baby. I'm only working with 3lb weights on most of the shoulder exercises, and regular triceps dips still kill, but I'm up to 10 lb weights for those behind-the-head triceps thingys and for biceps curls. For chest presses and flyes I think I'm good with using 8lbs for now. Maybe I'll try to figure out how to do skullcrushers today.

Still not doing the back exercises right - those ones where you lean over and pull up the dumbell like you're starting a lawnmower. At least, I can't feel it, so I assume I'm doing it wrong.

Today's toast: Here's to artichokes! MMMmmmmmmm!
 
i have come across a few of those sites. It says you can burn a kabillion calories watching tv..... I normally bounce 3 or 4 and split the difference.
 
Yeah, I keep reading that one should only weigh oneself every week, since there are fluctations. But then I thought, well, there are still fluctuations even if you only weigh every week, and you'd have no way of knowing whether the day you weighed yourself was weirdly high or weirdly low, or right smack in the middle. So I'm weighing everyday, but I've got to get my head around the fact that it may not MEAN anything. I'll weigh, write down the number, and then forget it. I will I will I will!

Discovered the joy of working out with angry music. Oh man, that rocks! Not all angry I guess, but 'power' music - I found my bf's ipod armband thingy, and started rocking out to Ani DiFranco's Little Plastic Castles. So many of the songs when they hit their stride just have so much ENERGY - the first song's not angry, but it hits that fabulous instrumental bit and my feet just POUND! (I actually had to be careful, because I was supposed to be doing intervals, if thatbit came on when I was supposed to be doing low intensity, I had to conciously step it down!)

And I'm on the arc trainer, mouthing the words like crazy, and everyone around me must have thought I was NUTS. Ha!
 
I think it's hysterical how we all react to upcoming weddings. What is it about weddings?? One of the first things my mother said on the phone about the upcoming wedding when we heard was "Oh crap, I've got to lose weight!" Ha!

So, bf and I went out on a date last night, which meant a couple of things. First, cheat meal - it wasn't awful, but it was super carb craziness. Since I'm a vegetarian, getting enough protein usually requires tofu, seitan, etc. So cheat meal for me last night was Italian, pasta. I didn't eat all that much, I think I've gotten used to the smaller meals more often.

But going out also means I had: a glass of wine, and then four vodka-red bulls when we met up with friends later! And we didn't get home til 6 am, which means my sleep schedule is completely off now too. And, of course, I couldn't get up first thing and go to the gym, because I'm hung-over!

Sigh. I'm going to go to the gym though, later today, I am, I am, I am!
 
Yeah, never made it to the gym today, so no cardio. Which sucks. But I did do strength training for my arms and chest, so at least I accomplished something. But I felt like crap all day, thanks to all of last night's vodka! :) It was fun, but I've got to really think about whether it's worth the recovery! Gee, I used to pull this off 3-4 days a week in college - not anymore I guess.

I just weighed myself out of curiousity. I know I shouldn't have, but I did - and it's SIX AND A HALF pounds heavier than it was when I got up. ??? I know you fluctuate in a day, but GEEZ. That's depressing.

Ate on plan today, even though guests brought over some ridiculous almond fruit tart. You could smell the SUGAR two feet away - okay, I took a TINY bite. ONLY TINY!

Today's toast: Here's to EggBeaters! (and any other egg white products)
 
Hello,

My heart completly sank when you kind of called yourself "the fat bridesmaid"
Me being the human rights activist that I am, blame it on society and the pressures to be thin, but I won't get into that.

Regarding your problems with your scale, I usually weigh myself two or three times, one right after the other to see if I get the same reading every time. Although I have a digital one and it's hard to tell when they are accurate.
 
Oh that alcohol will do that to ya! lol At least you did your str training though so YAY YOU! hehe
:D
 
Yeah, the accuracy of my scale is somewhat questionable. But it usually only varies by a half-pound, or MAYBE a pound if I'm doing it one right after the other. And I know we weigh more in the morning than at night, and I've seen it go up 3-4 pounds from morning to night, but I'd never seen it go up 6.5!!

As for the wedding - I'm being vain, as I said, but i can just imagine guests... "oh, the bride is so TINY." "oh, she's a dancer. And that bridesmaid, she's a professional cheerleader, and that one is also a dancer, and that one... well, she's in grad school." "ohhhhhhh." ! I'm not normally this shallow, really, but something about this wedding has hit a nerve. Might be because the bride has made some comments... She's a sweet girl, really, but doesn't always know how to say things politely, or in a way that is likely not avoid hurting feelings, and she's made a number of comments that show that she is VERY aware of the difference between her size and my size. Sometimes I feel like saying "OK, you're hot, we all know you're hot, you don't need to keep reminding everyone how much hotter than every other woman in the family you are!" But I remind myself that I really don't think she's doing it on purpose.

Got back on the gym schedule today - did 30 minutes HIIT on the arc trainer! Yeah!

Then I went and bought fat free organic milk, EggBeaters, fat free yogurt, fat free cottage cheese! I know it's important to have the stuff on hand, or I'll just eat whatever's already in the fridge.

I've also been getting snappy with my bf - he keeps eating my food! I'm measuring and counting EVERYTHING, and so I'll have a meal or snack all laid out, I know just how much protein, fat, carbs, fiber, and how many calories it has, and he comes along and munches!! He says I'm paranoid :) But then I don't know what I'm really eating.
 
So, hit the gym this morning and did a full body strength training workout - OUCH! I'm going to try to go back and do some cardio later today if I can stand it. My friend was showing me how to use most of the equipment - he's utterly convinced I won't be able to walk tomorrow. I'm not sure I appreciate that very much, but I'll have to wait and see if he's right. I learned how to do squats correctly, and my that's much harder than doing them wrong! Ha!

Kashi Go Lean and nonfat organic milk for breakfast (185 cal)
then some nonfat cottage cheese (80 cal)
whole wheat/veggie deli slices/nonfat sharp cheddar cheese sandwich (260 cal)
Now I'm heating up some Smart Menu - Orange Sesame Chick'n (270 cal).

Bf says I look a little different - I'd like to think so, but I think he's just trying so hard to be encouraging that he's convincing himself!

This is all a secret from the rest of my family - I want to make as big a change as I can, then see if they notice!
 
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Okay, so I'm trying to eat a lot more protein than I normally do, and I'm a vegetarian,so that's a little more difficult for me than for meat-eaters. But, the boyfriend and I recently realized there's a large, cheap Fairway only 12 blocks away (albeit, well hidden if you don't already know it's there). They have a ton of super veggie high protein stuff, and I saw QUORN!! If you've never seen it (and if you're not veggie, I don't know why you ever would), it's a fabulous meat-free, soy-free vegetarian ... thing. I don't know what to call it exactly - they usually fake chicken - although, as with most vegetarian things, it doesn't really taste like chicken (not that I remember chicken all that well), but it takes kind of like it, and the real point is it tastes REALLY GOOD (better than how I remember chicken!)!

I bought like five different Quorn items - Chick'n nuggets, Chick'n cutlets, Meatless Meatballs, Chick'n strips, and Roast Chick'n. It's high protein, low fat, and relatively low carbs.

I'm sooooo happy, because I was actually starting to get tired of Seitan, which I never thought would happen! (Seitan is still more protein and lower carbs, but at least now I have some variety!!)
 
I saw that at our local market. I'm a little scared to try it lol.. when I was a vegetarian (medical reasons) I tried some of that fake meat stuff and it was... pretty gross. But that was years ago before it was considered mainstream. Does it have a weird texture?

Anyway - looks like you're doing so well! I'm sure the bf isn't just trying to convience himself, you've worked so hard!!
 
Well, veggie products have quite a range, and then there's individual taste. I ADORE Quorn, and I haven't seen it since I spent a semester in the Netherlands 6 years ago. It was almost all I ate that semester, it was the primary vegetarian product in Amsterdam, and wow, I loved it. It has texture of it's own (unlike tofu), and it's not rubbery at all - it doesn't hold together when you bite it *quite* as solidly as chicken does (if I recall!), but I don't thinks that's a bad thing.

I tried Morningstart steak strip meal starters the other day - that I didn't like so much. But, my bf, who is a rapid meat-eater, loves it! So who knows... :)

Thanks for the words of encouragement!
 
Hey girl!
I was just hifiving you over in the "rude bf" thread. I'm glad I came in here, we have so much in common. I'm older than you but we're the same height and I was 149 when I started this, with a goal of 135. I, too, had a serious Dr. Pepper addiction! :p Life is so funny.

When I started out my body fat was 25.2, last time I was assessed at Curves it was 20.0! You can totally do it girl. I've got 2.5 more pounds to go before I meet my goal, which is Halloween...which is my birthday! :D

Anyway, I just thought we were too similar to not mention it. Best of luck to you girl, you can so do this and you're going to look smoking HOT afterwards!
 
OHD - thanks for the high five and for the words of encouragement! Looks like we are pretty similar, you give me hope! And can I just say 20% bodyfat is AMAZING!!! I need to get mine assessed again, last time it was 26.7% :( Congrats on all your hard work!

I was actually getting a little discouraged earlier today - I really had hoped to do this faster, but it's clear now that I won't make my goals by Halloween, and starting to look like I won't do it by Christmas either.

Had a weird scale event happen today, has anyone ever had this happen to them? I only got about 4 hours sleep - woke up early, weighed myself, 146.5 (not happy about this, it was lower yesterday). Eat breakfast, go to my appt, come home 2 hours later, crash into bed again for another 3 hours. Wake up, decide I really should be getting up for the day, and out of curiosity weigh myself again. 145.5. Hmmm. End up crashing again for another 3 hours, get up again, decide, what they hey, I'll weigh again, since I REALLY getting up now --> 144.5. What in the world? I wrote down the middle one, because I don't want to lie to myself!

GOT to get to the gym in a few - I'm NOT going to let the fact that I screwed up my sleep schedule keep me from going! I'm not I'm not I'm not!!
 
Aeris said:
I was actually getting a little discouraged earlier today - I really had hoped to do this faster, but it's clear now that I won't make my goals by Halloween, and starting to look like I won't do it by Christmas either.

!!
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You know, hun...let me tell ya something...I too wanted to loose weight, rather fast...and I did...i lost 30 pds in like, 6 mths or so, well, then it wasnt' long and I gained all but 10 pds back!! I was devistated and being down like that kept me from loosing it again. here I am, a year later and just starting to realize something.....really the BEST way to loose weight is to take is slow!! Start working on making things habits, like excersize, or eating a good healthy breakfast, not binging at night....the weight will come off, a pound here a pound there...it'll be slow, but it will stay off, ok?? trust me!
 
First of all, I say go to sleep again! LMAO :p Shucks, I'm gonna try that one!

As for the weight, girl you can TOTALLY do it by Christmas and even if you don't you'll have the satisfaction of getting it done when it is finally off. I've been at this since April...so that's what *OHD stops typing to count fingers* 7 months to loose 11.5 pounds. I thought I'd get this done a lot faster but I put in the work and my body is operating on it's on timetable. I can't loose as fast as someone else, and I had to stop beating myself up for it.
 
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