Addie's New Beginning

The strangest thing happened this morning. My workout was decent but kind of rough to get through, and then when I got home, I just felt like crap. Usually working out makes me feel better ... more upbeat and energetic ... but this morning I just crashed when I got home. I had a headache, was tired and a little dizzy ... the works. It was sucky. After I got a little more food in me I started to perk up again, but man was it crazy.

I'm telling you though, there is like no greater music to listen to while working out than Coheed and Cambria. Woo!

EDIT: I was trying to limit my carb intake today (mostly to see if I could) since I've been having a little bit of trouble getting the right balance in my daily intake, and I wanted to share what I made for dinner ...

I baked a chicken breast in the oven (with a little lemon juice and pepper). While I was waiting for that to cook, I chopped up a tomato and a little onion. I threw those into a pan with a handful of fresh, sliced mushrooms and sauteed them with a little canola oil spray. Then I added two large handfuls of baby spinach and let that cook down. I took the chicken breast out, sliced it into about 6 or 7 slices horizontally, placed it on a plate and laid the spinach-mushroom-tomato-and-onion mix on top, and while it was still nice and hot I sliced a serving (cut in thin pieces) of Cabot 75% fat free white sharp cheddar cheese. It was SO delicious. About 500 calories all together.
 
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Wow. That dinner sounds incredible. The next time I'm feeling especially courageous I think ill try and put that together.

Everyone has offdays Addie, just make sure you get a good nights sleep and keep on the attack tomorrow. Good luck, doing great!
 
Ups and downs are a huge part of this ordeal. You have to use the ups to keep you motivated during the downs. When the scale doesn't tell you what you want to hear, you just have to think about how much better you feel or look. The end game is really all that matters.
 
Andy & Veronica,

Thanks for the encouragement. It seems I go through a frustrating week every other week, and then the ones in between are amazing progress. It's funny (as in not really funny at all) that it is so easy to forget the positives and so hard to let go of the negatives.

318.6 this morning ... which means I need a 3lb. loss by tomorrow to be "on track". I don't see THAT happening, but maybe I can get close enough to make up for it next week, or maybe if I drink enough water today it will help out.

Occasionally I'll get this feeling like, I just wish I could go back to my old life of not caring. But, I don't REALLY wish that. I miss that it was easy, but I can't really say that it was less stressful, it was just stressful in different ways.

I think it's just been a rough week. I'll keep pushing through and all will be fine, I'm sure :)
 
keep on keeping on...

Addiecakes said:
Occasionally I'll get this feeling like, I just wish I could go back to my old life of not caring. But, I don't REALLY wish that. I miss that it was easy, but I can't really say that it was less stressful, it was just stressful in different ways.

I think it's just been a rough week. I'll keep pushing through and all will be fine, I'm sure :)
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I can speak for myself and say that I 100% understand the feelings you are having! As a professional wagon-jumper, I have often decided my life was easier if I didn't care and count all the calories... However, that's only made it that much worse for me now!!

Everyone is on point when thy talk about setting little mini-goals, because a year ago when I was trying to get healthy I was all focused on being a hundred pounds lighter by NOW. It was too far away, too distant of a goal. Aiming for the 299 and working like hell is the best thing you can do for yourself, and you're doing awesome!!

As long as you're doing your best, your body will follow... Sometimes it just needs to wake up and realize you care now!! :coolgleamA:
 
Keep your head up Addie!!! ...Next week you might loose inches off your stomach instead of lbs, and or vise versa. The way you feel about your "performance of your daily activities" has a lot to do with the way you view your body as well in the mirror.

In just one day of doing positive for yourself, you'll think your stomach is smaller, and looking tighter,...but what's really changed is your perception of yourself and your actions. Progression and the mentality of it, lies in the small congratulatory deeds of the day!! :) Don't be so hard on yourself!....We all want to quit, and hell, I did for 5 weeks and look where it got me right?! ;)!!


You deserve Success My Dear,...Now Go GET YOUR DESTINY!!! :D!!! :cheers2:!! I'm watching you!! ;)!!! :)!
 
Let me ask you one question. Answer it truthfully and all will be answer for your feelings today.

Will losing 3 pounds today erase everything you have done?





There is your answer.
 
Thanks for your supportive words, PlumpHope & Alta, and Jericho for helping me put things into perspective. I wanted to relax and let myself have a little break tonight from the pressures of constantly worrying about food -- so I had a very light calorie and carbohydrate day up until dinner, and then I let myself have some pizza and some orange sherbet. It was a nice little treat, and I'm glad I had it since I didn't really plan anything else special for New Year's. DiGiorno is my idea of a good time, apparently, lol

I spend the evening watching a couple of movies with my fiance. It was nice. There was a really hilarious nerd-spoof movie about D&D culture that was totally up my alley. All-in-all it was a pretty good time.

The scale may not have the best news for me tomorrow, but I have faith that I will still accomplish plenty enough to appease myself in the long run. And hey ... it's a whole new year now, I have a lot to look forward to. :)
 
Perspective:

Did you do your best?
If yes - good. Go to question #2.
If no - Did you learn? If yes, Good! go to question #2. If no, analyze, then ask again.

Do you weigh less than this time last month?
If yes. Good! now that you have practice at it, lose weight again this month.
If no - analyze what went wrong and what you can change.

Maybe you didn't exactly win this battle, but don't let one throw off the war. When you break it down into the essentials like that, its really that simple, if you are showing a net loss, then you are winning and doing good.

I don't know about you, but I take it as a learning process. If I knew how to eat, stay healthy and exercise, I wouldn't be here, would I? Same applies to almost everyone here I'd reckon.
 
Addiecakes I only joined this forum today. I have just read your diary through from start to finish, and I wanted to congratulate you on your acheivements so far. You have a lot to be proud of. Keep up the good work :cheers2::cheers2::cheers2:
 
So, the next time I start freaking out about my weight, can someone just smack me upside the head? I don't know what is so magical about Fridays, but for some reason my body knows it's the "moment of truth" and always surprises me when I step on that scale.

The funny thing is that I really relaxed my diet last night (after eating very strictly all day) and had pizza, sherbet, chocolate, ... and I wake up and actually get close to the results I'd been looking for all week. Something tells me that if I can learn to stop stressing, the scale will not lie to me as much!

So I wake up this morning after seeing 319's all week it seems and what do I see? 316.2, which isn't my "goal" for the week, but it's a far cry from what I was expecting AND makes getting the next goal more attainable. I need to just have faith that if I'm working out fairly regularly and eating 800-1000 calorie deficits a day, then I'm doing everything that I can.

I think getting a scale for Christmas is messing with my mind. I am weighing myself constantly, which I know is bad for my mind. I need to tuck it away or something ... only get it out on Fridays when I weigh-in.

I'm relieved, and although I am expecting more from myself than I've gotten this week, I have faith that maybe next week it will even out. It always seems to.

*deep breath*
 
Definitely DO NOT let the daily weight stress you out. I speak from experience. I still weigh myself most mornings, but I've accepted the fact the it will jump around for me throughout the week. Like someone else said, all that matters is if the general trend is going down month to month.

You survived the holidays intact, unlike some people ... eh, me. :blush5:
 
After 50 days of being completely soda-free, I decided that it was time to test the waters and see how I could handle myself having a diet soda. It went really well, and I'm confident that it will not be something that I'm choosing all the time, which is good. But it was really actually very satisfying, and I think that the craving for it is gone again for the time being. I'm hoping to not drink anymore than maybe one or two a month, just because I don't want to fall back into the same old habits I used to have.

Really the problem is that it makes me hungrier, and it makes me crave sweets ... that and the fact that I was dependent on caffeine for energy for so long that the lack of control was driving me bananas. Now that I get my energy from natural foods and exercise, it feels a lot more ... real. I can't even explain properly, but the energy just feels more pure and healthy. I don't get the crazy headaches in the middle of the day that I used to get (I was taking Excedrin Migraine almost DAILY after lunches), and I think I've taken pain killers twice in the last 6 weeks.

Anyway, I feel in control about it, and that's good. I've been nervous because I wasn't sure if I was really ready to have one again ... it's almost like being an alcoholic in a lot of ways, I'd imagine. But I'm glad I did it, it was very satisfying and I don't think I'll have the inclination to have one again for a little while.

I'm proud of myself for my 50 days soda-free!
 
Yay for 50 days with no pop! I gave it up over four years ago, which was relatively easy for me since I don't like burping :blush5: redic, right? Earlier this summer I decided that a Diet root beer sounded amazing; meh. I drank half the can and called it quits. Like you say: it IS nervewracking to think you could fall into old habits over one misstep, so its nice to know what you can or can't handle. For the record tho- if you've never tried the flavored waters that most grocery stores carry- they are amazing! The key lime is always my favorite, because it reminds me of sprite :rolleyes: so when I absolutely* need something stronger than water ( ;) ) I grab one of those.
 
Great job Addie! 50 days is an awesome benchmark. I saw you joined the V-day challenge also! LETS DO SOME WORK! :p
 
Addiecakes said:
I think getting a scale for Christmas is messing with my mind. I am weighing myself constantly, which I know is bad for my mind. I need to tuck it away or something ... only get it out on Fridays when I weigh-in.
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Weighing yourself every day (or even more than once a week) is one of the stupidest things you can do when you're trying to lose weight. It will do nothing but demotivate you and piss you off. A person's body weight can fluctuate anywhere between 2-4 lbs a day, so weighing yourself everyday will just drive you nuts, because you're not really getting an accurate representation of your true weight. One day you might be extremely pleased. One day you might want to bash your face against a wall. One day you might soak your undies in happiness. One day you might shit your undies in frustration. HAHAHA, do people do that? Take a dump when they're mad? HAHAHA, I hope so. That'd be awesome. Anyway...

Just weigh yourself on Fridays, if that's your weigh-in day. Doing it any more than that will just cause you aggravation and possibly herpes.
 
ChefChiTown said:
One day you might soak your undies in happiness. One day you might shit your undies in frustration. HAHAHA, do people do that? Take a dump when they're mad? HAHAHA, I hope so. That'd be awesome.
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Baaahahaha! Oh my god. Greatest thing ever. Hysterical.
 
So, I think the reason that I've been so adamant about weighing myself everyday, is because I am SO CLOSE to 20lbs. lost and it hasn't even been 2 full months yet. It's got me so excited.

I'm 314.8 this morning, 0.6lbs. away from a full 20. That is a great milestone for me. I'm getting into the numbers that I haven't seen in 2.5 years since right after my daughter was born. I can't wait until I'm under 294--that was the lowest I've weighed in the last 7 or 8 years. There won't be anything to stop me then ... hell, nothing's stopping me now!! :driving:

I did about 1.5 hours at the gym yesterday, and I did strength too so I'm quite sore. I've also been coughing and sneezing since last night, and it's kind of blindsided me (hope I'm not getting sick now, after taking a week off of work). But, I am on the fence about going to the gym. It's very close to my house but it's snowing quite badly today (it has been all week really) and the wind is looking pretty rough too. I'm thinking maybe I should just break out the Wii-Fit and do something light, or maybe just take it easy for the day since starting tomorrow I'll be waking up at 5am again to go get my workouts.

I guess we shall see. My diet has been more relaxed the last few days, and I've actually been feeling great. I think that I might have tried to go too far too fast and I get a little too restrictive when I'm monitoring everything so closely. I know that yesterday was probably about 2,500-2,800 calories and I burned about 500-600 off at the gym, so still a very good day deficit-wise. But I find that when I start to track my food and restrict too much it's counter-productive ... I get stressed and irritable and the weight just stubbornly hangs out. Like last week ... I was doing great with the gym and my calories were 2,200 or less all week, and I was actually up a pound or two through most of the week. Only when I decided to relax and just trust myself to make good choices even if I knew I wasn't actually counting them for that particular meal, did the weight start to come off.

I trust myself. I can do this. I am doing this.
 
Progress Pics ...

So, firstly ... I apparently got better at taking non-blurry photos over the last 7 weeks, lol ...

Secondly, these pictures are very frightening to me, but I see improvements in a lot of places, and for that I am glad. I am mainly posting these to encourage myself to continue on this path that I am on, because if I do then things will only keep looking better. There are also slight variations in position and zoom, but I couldn't remember exactly how I took each picture before. I tried to make everything as similar as possible to highlight the changes, but I'm not perfect.

So without further ado:
 
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