A new me! (hopefully, with some help)

ADAY 16

Breakfast: 2 slices of granary toast with light spread and lemon curd
2nd Breakfast: Same as above
Lunch: Home Made butternut squash soup and a bread roll with light spread.
Dinner: Lasagne, salad, coleslaw and garlic bread!
Snacks: 2 twix!!!! Whoops!!
Total calories = 2046!

Exercise: 5.7 mile run and 2 and a 1/4 hours of manic kitchen cleaning!

Reall enjoyed my run this morning :) then danced myself round the kitchen cleaning with some loud music. Had a bath, snooze, dinner and now i am getting stressed watching the football!!!!

My aims for this week! (i am going camping with Bec's on fri afternoon so its for the next 4 days)

NON of my banned substances.
Use my pedometer all day every day and try and make sure i do 10,000 steps (even if i have to wander round the house in the evening lol)
stay under 1200 cals....no matter what exercise i do!

Sarah These cookies are major fails! They are not just normal cookies, they are huge, fat, posh cookies, ya know the ones, that come i a bag of 5! and have 300+ calores each!!!!!

Love and hugs :grouphug:
 
AOk Kate, you got me...you're right at 300 cal a pop, those are fail cookies! I stand corrected! No wonder you beat it on your exercise program! Stay with it girl...let's knock out those last remaining pounds...don't let me reach my goal before you reach yours! (she says, like that's a reality, but knows in her heart that fat chance of that happening)!! :gnorsi:

Love ya!
 
missed you while i was away Kate!

See you DO burn more than you think!I used to have a phone that counted steps and cals i loved it , till as usual i broke it!Its so handy using a pedometer it really does make you feel better knowing that you ARE burning LOADS of calories doing hat you usually do.

Those cookies ae evil.Ban them for ever.....i have banned mayo.....its also really evil.......Hope you having a good one today!!!

Lots of love 2 u!
 
ADAY 17

Breakfast: 50g porridge & blueberries
Lunch: 50g porridge & blueberries, yoghurt & grapes
Dinner: Chicken, mashed potato, peas, cauliflower, brocolli & gravy
Snacks: 2 kiwi's and a nutri grain bar
Total calories = 1043

Exercise: None

DAY 18

Breakfast: 50g porridge & blueberries
Lunch: 50g porridge & blueberries, yoghurt & grapes
Dinner: 3 slices of granary toast with light spread and lemon curd
Snacks: 2 kiwi's and a twix chocolate bar!!!! AND i'm going to have dip and flatbread this evening!!

Sorry i didn't post yesterday but i was totally shattered. Our next door neighbour decided to have a party on sunday night with really loud music and it didn't finish until 5.30am!!!!!! We didn't get any sleep at all and both had to go and do a ful days work yesterday. When i got home i just colapsed on the sofa.

I had my periond this morning and i'm in loads of pain and have spent all day wanting to eat just about everything!!!!!!!!!! I have managed to do ok so far but i feel so rubbish, grumpy and just in a bad mood that i know it's pointless trying to fight it as i know i will cave.
I have managed to hit myself in the neck, just under my ear, with my car door earlier!!!!!! (i kinda didn't get my head in the car fast enough as i shut the door) and it is really painful, i think i have jarred it too cos it hurts more that just a bang should.

Ok, i am gonna go feel sorry for myself now and hope that i am in a better mood tomorrow! I am a cross between this :cuss: and this :cry:
 
Dang Kate...period...car door whack, no sleep due to partying neighbors...you got an uphill battle there deary! Better get some tasty tropical fruit in the house to create a good alternative to cookies and cakes! Love ya sweets!

Sarah
 
Oh sweetie, what a day!! Hope today is kinder to you. Sending you gazillions of love & hugs, xoxoxo Cate
 
ADAY 19

Breakfast: 50g porridge
Lunch: Chicken salad with coleslaw, yoghurt & grapes
Dinner: 3 slices of toast, 2 with cheese on and one with jam
Snacks: Kiwi, bag of liqurice allsorts and half a packet of biscuits!!!!!!!

I am a big fat failure and i can't seem to care about it!!!!!!!

This is me! :piggy:

I am gonna be really busy packing tomorrow after work and leaving for my 'camping weekend' straight from work on friday. Hopefully i will come back on here on monday all refreshed and back on track! If not i can see it all falling apart!

Sorry for being such a grumpy bitch :(
 
ok take back those nasty comments of yourself.I too have been shity with food but dont think i am a pig.I think i am human,and still trying not to eat bad and thats what you must think aswell.

Ok so what?you arent going to loose probably SO WHAT>?>????ARE you in a hurry?You have made a huge difference already that if you stop now i think you are FINE.

I am also NOT an angel.I had ice cream today without any bad feelings.actually i had a second one i liked it so much....but i wont think of myself again as a pig....nope....i HATE that feeling and i never will let myself down like that.

AND I AM TELLING YOU ALL THIS WHILE I HAVE GAINED WEIGHT ok?its TRUE!YOU ARE HUMAN<<<<<why dont you just concetrate on maintaining?If you dont what to stay away from "naughty" stuff try MAKING yourself run for 30 minutes and walk another 30?burn what you overeat.

Hope you feel better tommorow and never put yourself down again please.You are beatifull and you also wear WHAT SIZE AGAIN????????????let me hear you say it!!!!!!!!!!
 
KATE!!!!!! Stop being mean to yourself!!!!! :iagree: with Jess whole-heartedly!!! (well said Jess :hurray:) ENOUGH!! You are NOT fat!!!! You are not a pig!!!!!!! STOP IT!!!!! :cuss::cuss::cuss::cuss::cuss: RIGHT NOW!!!!! I won't even start telling you how that made me feel as this is NOT about me. Darling, you are lovely. you are slim, you are a really good human being & we love you!! Enjoy your week-end sweetie, but if you keep being so mean to yourself you can imagine me coming over there & giving you a very big ear-full!! :cuss::cuss::cuss: You are not going back to being that other person who was really tough on herself. Show yourself the love & respect that you deserve.

Love yourself Kate! We do!!!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoCate
 
AKate, as everyone else has said, you are not fat, you have come such a long way, and no matter what, we all think you are lovely, and most of us are striving to where you are now...and as for me, I'm still a far piece from you...and I'm not feeling like a pig today, so you shouldn't either! We all on a journey, and I fact a lifestyle change...so you need to start loving your body for the wonderful miracle that it is! You!!

:grouphug:
:hurray::iagree:

Sarah
 
AI'm hanging my head in shame :blush5: I am so sorry for my self pitying rant :(

I am much better today. I think (hope) it was just hormones and having a bit of a crappy week. I really felt like an eating maching yesterday, i kept arguing with the old me and losing and what worried me the most was that i didn't care that i was losing the argument!.
You guys are just so freaking awesome :grouphug: :grouphug: I love you :beating: :grouphug: :grouphug:

Food today:-

Breakfast: 50g porridge
Lunch: Chicken salad, garlic & basil olives and coleslaw, yoghurt and grapes and a small bread thing from my graze box
Dinner: Chicken salad and coleslaw
Snacks: 3 small peices of pineapple
Total calories = 862

I decided this morning to only eat when i am really hungry and my stomach rumbles and i was amazed that i didnt start to feel hungry until about half an hour before lunch so had a peice of pineapple and then i had some more as i left work as i knew i would be home late cos i had to stop at mum and dads.
I have had a busy evening, getting all the camping stuff out of the loft and packing up the car. I am all ready to go and can't wait. I think it will do me good, i can have a good chat with Bec's about how i haven't been doing well etc lately and maybe talking about it will help me re focus :)

Thank you all again so so much for your wonderful kind words, you are truly the best ever. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:
 
Hey Kate, sorry you had such a shitty day before... but I'm glad you're feeling better now!! Sorry I haven't really had the chance to write, I've been reading though!! Going through a heap of diaries and saying hello now :biggrin:


Sweetheart just have to say, EVERYONE has days like that when they feel like that about themselves. Truly! You could speak to anyone- regardless of size- and they will tell you that. It's not about old Kate/new Kate, that feeling is just a part of life. And so is occasionally over-indulging. So don't beat yourself up about it, you're still here, you're still going strong, you're still trying and still on the journey. You AREN'T back where you started, far from it... So just take a breath and get back on track.


Have a fabulous weekend!!
 
ANow that's the Kate we all know and love! Welcome back sweetie! Good news is, you know who you are and so do we! Never believed a word of the rant anyway!:grouphug::grouphug:
 
Big hugs Kate - sounds like you are coming out of the end of a few bad days! I used to majorly crash around period time until I started taking a range of vitamins meant to help hormonally with monthly swings - really cut out a lot of the mood/eating/craving difficulties for me (not to mention getting rid of the awful adult hormonal acne I used to suffer from once a month - this would be enough to make me hate lookign in the mirror...34 years old and terribly spotty every 4 weeks...yuk!). Anyway, before I got sidetracked...as the others said STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP! Mental self-flagullation is not positive, and there was simply no need to go as far as banging your head with the car door!!
 
AHi Everyone :)

My weekend was just awesome. Everything i needed. The weather was really kind to us and we spent our time chilling, chatting, drinking wine, reading and wandering round some lovely girly shops in some lovely little towns.
I also had a really good talk with Bec's about my 'issues' at the moment and she has helped me get back on track :)

Breakfast: 50g porridge
Lunch: Ham, lettuce and light mayo wrap, 2 kiwi's and some pineapple.
Dinner: 3 breaded chicken strips, salad and cous cous
Snacks: 5 coffees! 1 kiwi, pineapple and a banana
Total calories = 1164 Oooooh, i have decided to change myfitnesspal to only wanting to lose 1lb a week so i can have up to 1410 calories, just to take the preasure off really.

Exercise: 100 crunches & 100 bridges :)

I've had a good positive day today :) Richard (one of the dentists) brought some chocolate in today and i didn't have any. Also, i had to go to the super market and garage and i didn't buy myself anything naughty (i have to admit that i was tempted but resisted :) ) One day at a time :)

Ooooooooooh, i nearly forgot to say......Tomorrow, is a year ago to the day that i first posted on here and started my life changing journey!!! Can you believe it has been a year :)

Thank you so so much for your kind words of encouragement, you guys are truely awesome :grouphug: :grouphug:
 
Happy Anniversary my lovely friend!! So glad you had an awesome week-end with Becs. She sounds like the sort of friend every girl should have! I am on 1420 a day too Kate. I think it's much smarter, at the stage we are both at, to lose the next little bit gradually as it will ease us into long-term maintenance. The last thing we need is to feel totally deprived & then risk lashing out & gorging.

Getting really fit is my main aim now. I want to be a very fit traveller on my 60th next year!! I want to start my trip next year fit & 5kg lighter, but fit is the most important!

Imagine us as highly tuned machines!!:smilielol5:I'll try anyway. I'll be a vintage machine(red) & you can be a racy sports car! We are doing well Kate. Never forget where you have come from & how well you have done. Love you sweetie!!
 
AHappy 1 year anniversary to this forum, and I for one am really glad you are here! I think your decision to go up on the calories is probably good, as you might have seen in my diary, I'm still wondering what to do in that area...part of me wants to increase, and part of me is scared to... I'm glad you have the confidence to make the decision and move on instead to waffling like me!
So glad you are cal and had a wonderful weekend! You've been through a st
Restful past 3 months,..you probably needs a battery recharge!
Sarah
 
AHi all :)

Breakfast: 50g porridge & blueberries
Lunch: Ham, lettuce and light mayo wrap. Yoghurt & blueberries and a cuppasoup
Dinner: 3 breaded chicken strips, mashed potato, cous cous and salad.
Snacks: 2 kiwi's 3 coffee's and pineapple
Total calories = 1205

Exercise: 100 crunches & 100 bridges ( i am going to up it to 125 of each next week)

I have been doing my 'journey' for a year :eek: I know i am not doing great right now but it's weird thinking about what i have done in that year. I have lost 4 stone and gone from a size 20 to a 12! I keep thinking that i really should be proud but i can't right now. I'll get there i just aint in too great head space about it all at the moment. Bec's asked me over the weekend if i felt so self loathing because my weight loss is not mentioned anymore. At the old practice i had patients mentioning it all the time but here nobody knows i use to be huge, even the people i work with, execpt Rach & Chris. One of them even said 'i can't imagine you being anything other than what you look like now' I can remember someone saying that i will miss the comments when i dont get them any more and ya know what, they were right. I never would have thought i would ever admit that lol. I supose knowing that i am struggling and not having constant reminders of how different i look kinda just makes me feel like i felt about myself before. Please dont think that i am feeling low today cos i am not. I'm doing ok and just going with it, i know i will feel better about myself when i manage to reach what i got to some months ago :) It's all good.

I've had a good day today :) I've felt really motivated and positive :) I worked with Chris today and i really enjoy working with him. It's always really busy but fun.

Cate I agree with you about the 1410 cals. I have managed to stay around 1200 but just knowing that i can have that little bit more might (hopefully lol) stop me binging. I have come to accept that i am going to struggle getting to the gym as often as i did before cos i am sooooo knackered when i get home from work so i am going to have wednesdays and sundays as serious workout days and do crunches and whatever i can manage on the other days. Thank you so much for your kind, wise words, as ever. :grouphug:

Sarah Thank you sweetie :grouphug: I think i have been pushing myself too hard foodwise and then just failed big time. I think having more cals will make that easier for me to try and stick to. If i need chocolate then i can have some, ok, only a little bit but hopefully i can manage it.
My weekend was lovely and it really did recharge the batteries :) I kinda forget how topsy turvy my life had been the last 6 months. Hopefully i can get back to some kind of routine now. I don't cope with change too well.

Mark has just gone to throw me a sweet and i quickly said 'No thanks' and he said 'it's a toffee' and i replied with another 'no thanks' YAY ME!!!!!! :hurray: :hurray:
 
AHi all :)

Breakfast: 50g porridge & blueberries
Lunch: Ham, lettuce and light mayo wrap. yoghurt & blueberries and a cuppasoup
Dinner: Chicken jambalaya soup
Snacks: 5 coffee's!! 2 kiwi's and pineapple
Total calories = 1143

Exercise: 100 crunches & 100 bridges

I managed to spend all evening on my own this evening and didn't have anything to eat other than my dinner!!!!!! :hurray: :hurray: :hurray:
That has been my most rubbish time! I have been totally usless when i haven't had Mark here these last few months. I have kinda thought that if he doesn't know what i have eaten then it didn't happen but i came home from work, had my dinner and that was it....Nothing :) Really quite proud of that and i haven't been proud of anything in quite a while :)

I didn't get to the gym to do my toning class this evening cos i worked today :( I didn't get home til 6.20 and it starts at 6.30. I think i am just going to not worry about it when i work on a wednesday. I am not working another one now until september (i think) so i can really get some exercise in. I might try and get to the gym after work tomorrow but i am ususally so knackered that i probably wont. I have done my crunches every day this week :) I use to do them every day before but kinda got out of the habit of it.

All in all a good day :) I've still managed to stay under my calories by quite a lot :) I just need to keep it up all over the weekend and beyond.

Love and hugs to all :grouphug:
 
WOOT WOOT!! Well done you!!!-

Originally Posted by katehunibun

I managed to spend all evening on my own this evening and didn't have anything to eat other than my dinner!!!!!! :hurray: :hurray: :hurray:
That has been my most rubbish time! I have been totally useless when I haven't had Mark here these last few months. I have kinda thought that if he doesn't know what i have eaten then it didn't happen but I came home from work, had my dinner and that was it....Nothing
smile.gif
Really quite proud of that and i haven't been proud of anything in quite a while
smile.gif
Click to expand...

I know what that means & just how hard it is. That is a major milestone & I will take that on-board for my next night at home alone!! You should be proud of yourself Kate. I think, like me, you need you be mindful of what you eat to feel good about yourself. I think the old saying "You are what you eat" really applies to us! I eat crap I feel like crap. Lots of love sweetie. I'm about to look up crunches! xoxoxo Cate.
 
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