A new me! (hopefully, with some help)

Hi Kate, welcome!!!!! And well done for buying your friend a choccie and not wanting it, you passed the test you set for yourself :D

I felt like you when I started out- I hated being covered in fat so much, I was constantly aware of it, and I just felt like clawing it off. I know its a bad feeling, but its also good, because that feeling is what gives you the extra motivation to finally stop putting it off, and do it for good this time.

Glad your planning your meals, its so much easier when you have the healthy foods in your kitchen/handbag.

There has been someone on here recently writing nasty things about people, maybe he could've de-repped you. The w**ker.
 
DAY 5

Breakfast: Wheatabix
Lunch: Ham and lettuce granary sandwich and a 97 cal bag of crisps
Dinner: Fish with new potatos and peas (no butter or sauce!)
Snacks: apple, pineapple and i'm going to have 140 cals of chocolate tonight!!!

Exercise: 1 hour at the gym. My gym buddy was back tonight and she really took advantage of my new motivation and made me work really hard, i thought i was a sweating mess after yesterday.....today was worse lol felt really good though!

Had another really good day today. I read your replies to my post this morning and it put me in such a good mood which stayed with me all day (even after having to deal with a projectile vomiting child!!!) I really hope my motivation lasts!!
I have set myself a mini goal....i want to lose 10lb by my birthday (aug 11th) its just over a month away so i think that is reachable.

Jjjay, Your comment about 'Zen duck' was awesome!!! but, in telling my fella about it i sort of messed up and told him that from now on i am gonna be a 'ninja duck'!!!! He very nearly wet himself laughing lol. I have no idea why that came out of my mouth lol. Now it has stuck lol i am a ninja duck.

Jasper and overtherainbow, thank you sooooo much for your support and advice, you guys are amazing and so inspiring!

The weekend starts tomorrow. That is going to be my biggest test so far, i always manage to completely fall off the rails at the weekend whenever i'm trying to lose weight. I am a little nervous that i will do the same but i'm really motivated so fingers crossed.
 
Hahaha ninja duck...oh well..you could try.. that's along the zen duck theme but I guess you get your revenge...with a silent and deadly quack!¬

Sounds like a really good session at the gym! 10lbs in a month is 2-3 a week so achievable but tough! You'll have to stay on the straight and narrow. Although in my experience, the lbs when I first started fell off....probably the first 20lbs came off in a massive rush and then slowed down after that.
 
Aww, hope your kiddie is better now.

Your eating what I ate last time I went on a diet that actually worked :) Identical foods in fact, although I had cucumber instead of lettuce in my granary sandwich.

Your weekend will go well, if you make it go well :) Don't fall off the bandwagon!!!!

Hows today been? x
 
doing good!
YOur motivation will last , just remember the reason you started.Thats what i do when i feel crapy sometimes!!!
I hope your child isnt sick anymore,i hate it when they get sick,i feel bad cause i cant help....:-(
have a good healthy weekend!!!
 
DAY 6

Breakfast: wheatabix
Lunch: ham and lettuce granary sandwich and 97 cal crisps
Dinner: chicken, stuffed with light philadelphia, garlic and herbs wrapped in bacon with a salad
Snacks: 2 apples

Exercise: didn't do anything other than the usual running around at work today.

It wasn't my child who was sick yesterday. I am a dental nurse and we were seeing a little lad of 8 who had to have 2 teeth out, he was having gas and air (it is the same stuff woman have when giving birth) and the little mask sits on their nose, anyway, we were taking his tooth out and he started being sick (lying flat) so i pulled the mask off and pushed him upright as more sick came out! Bless him, he was a total star but i was cleaning sick off the oposite wall etc etc for ages. Not a great start to the day, especially when he had had the same as i had for breakfast lol!!!

Anyway, back to today. I've had another good day. Did our weekly shop after work and i did buy myself a bar of chocolate........but i am going to have a strip (140cals) of an evening if i have the cals leftover. If i can't manage it then i'll give it to Jack (my son) and not get anymore.
Friday night is normally pizza or junk food night and i didn't cave! Mark (the other half) even had the healthy chicken salad dinner with me and he said it was lovely!
Our son Jack does a lot of stuff at the theatre in town. Drama, tap, musical theatre and hip hop and this week he has spent the whole week down there (they all get a week out of school to do it) doing 'fysical' and they have learnt 'chinese pole'
They did a show tonight which i went to watch. Usually when i go and watch i sit there and scoff my way thru a big bag of choc or sweets and tonight i sat there and ate nothing!!!! What i did notice was i could smell all the sweets other people were eating, i've never noticed that before. But, yay me for not having anything!!
Jack was awesome in the show, they walked up this 20 feet pole, swung from it and dropped etc. A bit hard to watch as a mum but so so proud of my baby (well, he is 12 lol)

So, i've managed the first evening of the weekend being a good girl, hopefully i can keep it up for the rest of the weekend. It's my weigh day on sunday so that should motivate me tomorrow. I'm actually a little bit excited about weighing on sunday, hopefully i will have done ok.
 
Sounds like things are going great! Well done for sitting in the show and NOT scoffing - its so hard to break these little habits and then you notice people around you having hundreds and hundreds of calories without realising it...frightening really.
 
DAY 7

Breakfast: 2 small slices of wholemeal toast with a tiny amount of light spread and marmite.
Lunch: A can of Tuscan bean soup.
Dinner: Thai sweet chilli chicken with noodles (frozen meal)
Snacks: Banana and a rice cake.

Exercise: i have had a lovely relaxing afternoon after doing the usual saturday morning jobs. It was really nice to chill for once.

On a saturday & sunday we normally have loads of toast and coffee for breakfast as the weekend is the only time we get to have breakfast as a family. That is a routine i will definatly find really hard to stop but i managed it today, i just had two small wholemeal slices rather than 3 or 4 thick white toast, had a little scraping of light spead instead of normal butter and i had marmite instead of the usual marmalade, jam, lemon curd or choc spread!! And you know what? it wasn't so bad, we had the usual breakfast together but i didn't pig out...Yay!!!
Saturday and sunday are really hard for me, at work i am busy and can't pick at food but at the weekend temptation is screaming at me everywhere! it really took a concious effort to stay out of the kitchen today lol but i managed to eat healthy...and i still have 280 cals leftover so i can have a little bit of choc tonight too!! i am finding that knowing if i do really well during the day, then i can have some choc in the evening really keeps me motivated and you have never seen anyone eat chocolate so slowly in your life lol i nibble at it, it lasts so long (i know, i know, it pathetic huh).

Tomorrow is my weigh in day and i am a bit worried that if i have lost a decent amount of weight my brain is gonna tell me 'you have done so well, how about having a day off as a treat' I am gonna have to really fight that thought. Also my dad is coming round to fit a carpet for us tomorrow and i'm cooking a big roast and apple pie. I have decided that i am going to dry roast my potato's, have lots of veg and have no pie but i'm not totally confident that i can resist. That is gonna be my aim and i'll keep you informed on how i do. Fingers crossed lol
 
Morning all.
Well i weighed myself this morning and it has turned into a bit of a problem!!!

I got on them and they said 213lb, a loss of 6LB!!!! (which is 15'3 in english money) very excited and couldn't believe my eyes so i got off and got on again and it said 15'5!!!! oh :( so got off and got on again and it said 15'2!!! What the........ I did this about 7 times and the one that came up most was 15'3 which is what i got first so i thought 'ok,i'll go with that one'.
When Mark asked how i got on i told him how eratic they were and (after saying well done you!!) he said 'did you try the other scales' Oh yeah, we have another set of scales in the bathroom that are not digital so i got on them and they said 200lb (14'4 in english) OMG that is nearly 14lb lighter BRILLIANT!!!! i have shed a stone lol.
So i was confused at which ones to believe, I then remembered that the digital ones are alot heavier than the doctors and gym scales so thought they must be wrong so Mark got on them (he weighs himself on the industrial scales at work) and he said the non digital ones were correct so we got a set of my weights and put them on the digital ones and they didnt even register (3lb) then put them on the other scales and they said 3lb so they were correct. We decided to go for them, more due to the fact that they said the same every time i got on them and the others went up and down by 3-4lb's, i think i would find that disheartening when i am losing only a bit a week.

So i am going to change my 'ticker' to a start weight of 206lb (6lb loss this week) and use my non digital scales. Quite exciting that i am not as heavy as i thought!!!!!
 
DAY 8

Breakfast: 2 peices of wholemeal toast with light spread and marmite
Lunch: Roast pork, dry roast (home grown) potato's, brocolli, peas, (home grown) carrots and a little gravy. I didn't have crackling!! It is always hit and hiss whether i we get any decend crackling when i cook pork and todays was perfect, i was gutted lol but i was good, i didn't have any!!
Dinner: 2 wheatabix
Snacks: rice cake and i'm gonna have my choc tonight too!

Exercise: housework and moving furniture etc cos dad layed our new carpet in the lounge.

I've had another good day, i was worried that i would feel i needed a day off because i had lost weight but i didn't and it wasn't a struggle. I was really chuffed that i lost 6lb!!! I knew that i must have lost something because i didn't feel so bloated but i didn't expect that much.
I had a lovely moment this morning, even before i had weighed, while we were still in bed cuddling. Mark prodded my hip and said 'ooooh bony' I was so so chuffed that he had noticed a difference and it wasn't just my wishful thinking.
I made them apple pie and custard and didn't have any, even thought i had loads of cals left. I wanted to save it for my evening choc treat.

I want to say a huge thank you to you for your kind words of encouragement. I haven't been in this mind space for many many years and if i can keep it up you will have changed my life. Thank you.
 
i know about confused!!!i have digital scales and sometimes the makes little "mistakes" like 200 grams.i get on and off.i hate it!!!
\well done!
a week on your new eating habbits and lost 6 lbs!!!!Thats is great!
Just know,if you dont,that at some point you will not be loosing so much a week.Its also not healthy to loose so much every week after a certain point.Dont get disapointed!
Thats the way it works!
How are you feeling?dont you feel more confident and even lighter???i love the feeling in the morning when some weight is gone.When im lying down still and my tummy feels like its gone inwards!!!I LOVE IT!!!!!!

\you are doing so fantastic!you proved that you can get there!!!!!
Whatever anyone ever says to you its just a little push,YOU are making it happen!You are loosing the weight for yourself!
WAiting for more succes weigh ins!!!!!
 
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DAY 9

Breakfast: 2 wheatabix
Lunch: chicken, lettuce and light mayo wholemeal sandwich. A bag of 97 cal crisps
Dinner: Chicken/light mayo salad
Snacks: banana, apple

Excercise: nothing today- Monday is really not a good day for me, I am to do at least 3 days a week and tues, wed, and thurs are the usual nights.

Pretty good day today. It was nice at work when i was asked how i had done, they were really nice. I was not in surgery this morning, i was doing paperwork so i didn't wear my uniform and just had my jeans on. I know it is only 6lb but my jeans definatly feel more 'comfortable' I am sat in them now and normally i would have been uncomfortable, cos they were tight, and gone and put an old pair of joggers on or PJ's but i haven't need too. Yay!

Jasper, Thanks for your encouragement. I so know what you mean about the smaller tummy in the morning, my hip bones are sticking out a bit more which i'm lovin'
I know i will not lose as much as that in a week again, no such bloody luck huh! I am gonna aim for 2lb a week. I know that it can stop for a bit too but hopefully i will have the strenght not to be diapointed and just work harder at it. Wish me luck lol!
 
Hi Kate! I just had a quick read through all your posts, and it's so great to read through your mini-journey (which will hopefully turn into a big long journey!) from the start! You weren't sure how you were going to do it, you were looking for motivation, and now, not so long later, you have done SOOOO well!

Your food every day is SO fantastic! I wish I could eat as good as you! Have you tried counting up your calories? This was really useful for me - I wasn't doing it at the beginning, but it's great to realise that you sometimes are under-eating (which is dangerous too - makes you want to binge, makes your body store more fat, etc), and made me feel like I had more control over my weight loss. Let me know if you want a link to a good place to help with that, if you're intereted!

:) You are going GREAT GUNS! Keep it up!

(And PFFFFFFFFFFFT to the negative rep - this is so completely ridiculous that someone would have done that to you, and so early on especially. I think we are all so vulnerable so early on, so it's particularly horrible of them. Please don't worry - like everyone says, you have done nothing wrong, and there has been some idiot wandering the halls here. )
 
Hi Kate, hope you don't mind me tagging along on your journey and cheering you on? You're doing brilliantly so far :) keep up the good work!

:D
 
Hi Decisionmaker. I'm glad you like my journal, hope my ramblings aren't too boring.
My food is only good because i am so obsessively motivated at the moment, which is great, while it lasts lol. I am saying no! to everything lol it's embarassing how good i am being but like i said i know from past experiences that the motivation will dip and my aim is to keep up with being honest on here and work thru it.
I count calories. I have an App for my phone called 'myfitnesspal' and it has worked out from my height and weight that i should eat 1210 cals a day. It is so easy to use too. I just put in what i have eaten (you would be amazed at what this thing has in its library) and the amount (i'm weighing food too and not just guessing, like i said, obsessed!) and it sorts the cals. Also, I can put exercise in there too and it gives me more cals to eat but i don't do that now, i have made that mistake in the past. 'Oh, i have done an hour at the gym i can now have half my body weight in choc' lol maybe not quite that bad but you get the idea!

Thanks for what you said about my neg rep, i was vunerable and it did hurt, i so nearly didn't come back to the site again but everyone was so sweet with what they posted.

I'm gonna go take a look at your diary in a sec, see how you're doing.
Xx
 
Hi Stan
No i don't mind you tagging along at all, i need all the help and support i can get! Thank you so much for your encouragement. :)
 
DAY 10

Breakfast: 2 Wheatabix
Lunch: Chicken, lettuce and light mayo wholemeal sandwich and a bag of 97 cal crisps
Dinner: Chicken salad with light salad cream
Snacks: banana, ricecake

Exercise: I did 30 min kick fit aerobicswhich was hard but fun!!

Another great day today. I cooked fried egg,bacon,mushrooms,bread etc for the boys in my life for dinner. I sat there with them eating a chicken salad and i was totally cool with it. What is wrong with me? i must have lost the plot lol. I just hope i can keep this motivated for a long long time.
 
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katehunibun said:
Hi. My name is Kate and i'm fat. Very fat and i hate it. I am forever waking up thinking diet starts today and by lunchtime i have talked myself out of it. I have lost weight in the past but am feeling really blobby and just can't get motivated to actually do something about it and it is making me feel really low and not want to do anything or go anywhere.
I supose sitting here writing this is a start. I think i just need some help and support.
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hi kate

first of all congratulations on deciding to do something about your weight, the first steps the hardest, and believe me it does get better. Motivation can be hard sometimes as i know myself but once u push yourself to do it you will be glad you did.

This forum has been a great help to me as it will be for you, even if you dont believe in yourself the people on here will and thats a great push, it has helped me so many times.

Good luck with your journey :hurray:
 
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katehunibun said:
Another great day today. I cooked fried egg,bacon,mushrooms,bread etc for the boys in my life for dinner. I sat there with them eating a chicken salad and i was totally cool with it. What is wrong with me? i must have lost the plot lol. I just hope i can keep this motivated for a long long time.
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It can be so hard being the chef. I do 99% of the cooking in my house and I just cant stand to be around them when they're eating. Go you for prepping the two different meals though! :hurray:
 
Hey Kate!

Loved reading through your diary so far ! It's a fantastic start.

I love how you are starting to get in the zone with the food and not worrying when your lil boys are eating the fried foods. You should be proud to have that self-control over food - weeks ago (me included) would just dive into that and forget about the chicken salad or eat it altogether!

Keep it going, and your laser focus is motivating me to get back on track - I've fallen a tad off track the last couple days so it's see the kind of focus I need to get back on track from you.

Oh..and just keep using the same scale and it should be fine :)

Gooo Kate!

-Ken
 
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