A new me! (hopefully, with some help)

So glad you're feeling better, Kate :)


I can completely relate to your feelings of having bad days. Embarrassment sets in, and then you don't even feel like posting.


However, I'm proud that you did. It takes a lot of strength to do that. There are times when I really don't feel like posting my downfalls here, but it's important. It not only allows others to provide you with support and advice, but it also lets you look back on these moments and gain strength from it knowing you overcame them.


It'll all be fine in the end :) Just keep your head up, believe in yourself, and conquer these slight battles! Do it with a smile, even, because you know you'll reach your goals and these obstacles are just there to reinforce your confidence after all is said and done! :)
 
AHi Hot buns!

I've been having a bit of a read of what you've been up to, and you're doing bloody great, you know? I was thinking a lot recently about my own little weight-loss journey pre-pregnancy, and how OMG I got down to 80.7kg. And how I did it slowly and consciously, not drastically. And how much you guys helped me out (and still do!). It was so sensible! And now I read your diary and it reminds me so much of my life a few months ago... where you have a freak out about cake, or you get hormonal (my favourite word) and everything food-related turns to shit :) BUT it's all about your average day, and you are freaking BONZA on your average day! Your 'bad' days are still even bloody under 2000cal! And you keep shrinking... incredible!

Anyway, enough rambling. Very proud of you and this interview, my dear, though I can understand that it's scary! Try to visualise how awesome you will be in that interview, what a great positive impression you will make - we all know your positivity! I mean, look at that facebook message you got! "I said you were a brilliant nurse and that you trained me and are absolutely fantastic at your job as you have been doing it for many years and you are also a lovely person" :hurray: See?

lots of love, chicken. xx
 
ADAY 254

Breakfast: 50g porridge (180 cals)
Lunch: 97 cal crisps and a ham, lettuce and light mayo wholemeal sandwich (285 cals)
Dinner: Quiche, oven chips and salad (478 cals)
Snacks: 3 coffee's, 3 kiwi's, 97 cal crisps, go-ahead bar, 2 slices of german friendship cake and a slice of banana cake!!!! (888 cals)
Total calories = 1831!! :(

Exercise: 5k run

First of all i have to confess to eating a big wedge of german friendship cake last night!!!!! I tell ya what, it aint being too friendly making me want to eat it all the time :(

Another up and down day today. It is really hard at work now. Seeing all my lovely patients for probably the last time :( There was one lady today that i actually got chance to talk to and i told her i was having to leave. She was really horrified, bless her, she is a really nervous patient and we have got her over her fear over the years and i have seen her boys grow up too. She seemed genuinely gutted that i was leaving and i nearly cried, i so wanted to give her a hug :(
Kirsty, one of the other nurses that i have become really quite good friends with is off work next week and i am off the week after. If i get this job i am more than likely going to have to start there the week after my holiday so i wont see her now. That felt really weird too.

I'm so sorry for going on about it but i am really struggling.

One good thing........When i got home earlier i had a quick look at the diary at the top of the list and it was Jess's and she had done her 30 min run :hurray: It totally cheered me up and made me go to the gym and do a 5k run which i think helped rather than feeling sorry for myself at home.

It's the weekend tomorrow so i wont have to face work and patients, hopefully i will have a better day. I have to go and buy something to wear to this interview as i only have 'casual' and 'going out' clothes, nothing just 'smart'! That will probably be a bit stressy actually. Oh for fucks sake Kate, get over yourself.

Mark actually shouted at me this evening for going into the kitchen to eat cake. It pissed me off at the time but i know he is right, i will hate myself if i can't keep my eating under control and start gaining. So as of tomorrow no more effing cake!!!

It's really late, i've been macheing AGAIN!!!! nearly done, they have to be finished for monday. I will reply to comments on here and try and read some diaries tomorrow.

Sorry for another depressing entry :(
 
Kate, you don't ever have to apologise for being human & having normal feelings. I think we are all feeling for you & sharing a little of your fears. I for one, don't much like change, but that is the only constant in this world. Very little stays the same. Mark is right though (don't you just hate it when they are!)- STAY OFF THE CAKE!!!!:cuss:

You know it makes you feel crap when you eat things for all the wrong reasons & you need to feel really good about yourself, especially at the moment. When you buy your snappy, smart clothes you will feel a little more confident & when you go into this interview say to yourself "I want this job. I would be really good at this job. I'm going to get it!" & you most likely will. It may just be the best job you will ever have. Often the things I have dreaded & feared the most have been the best things I have done.

Sending you HUMUNGOUS hugs & kisses sweetie. Try to relax a little over the week-end, xoxoxo Cate
 
Hello Kate,

Sorry I havn't been around for your big upheaval in your job...and from the sounds of it, your job has been your identity since you were 17. I agree with Cate..you are stronger than you know and, yes, you will have to rely on that inner strength to embrace the new chapter of your life that is opening up (she says as she knows deep inside that if the same where happening to her, she would also be scared shittless and full of fear). You might try writing down on a piece of paper your thoughts about why you are afraid...afraid of loss of money, afraid of loss of friends, afraid of xxxx...and then ask God, or whatever higher power you believe in to help take away your fears and to give you strength. You are not your job Kate...you are a beautiful (and slim!) woman full of life, adventure and love...ready to continue living life to the fullest...no matter what you "do", know that who you "are" is your most important contribution to this world! We Love you and accept and embrace you just the way you are! Perhaps you can take some comfort in that.

Sarah
 
Ok... everything Cate said!! Couldn't agree more!

Also, I have absolutely no sympathy for you that you get to go buy a bunch of cute business clothes for your new, tiny body- NONE, ZERO! ;) Try to enjoy it, I'm sure you'll look incredible in whatever you buy!

So proud of you for getting that work out in even though you've been feeling down, keep pushing though, this a tough transition for sure, but cake will only make it harder!

Hope you're feeling a bit better today, lots of love for you!
 
ADAY 255

Breakfast: 2 small slices of wholemeal toast with mashed banana (201 cals)
Lunch: Ham, lettuce and coleslaw wholemal sandwich & 97 cal crisps (299 cals)
Dinner: Quiche with dry roast peppers, aubergine, mushroom, tomato & onion (375 cals)
Snacks: 3 coffee's, 3 kiwi's, go-ahead bar, bag of light pretzels, light alpen bar and a cereal bar (504 cals)
Total calories = 1380

Exercise: Rest day

I managed to go a whole day with no cake!!! :hurray: :hurray: :hurray:

I've had a much better day today :) I did have some horrid, work related, dreams last night but i supose that is to be expected.
I read Cate and Sarah's post on here this morning and they really lifted my spirits :grouphug:

I'm not gonna weigh tomorrow not after the amount of cake that is now sat on my hips :)

Pottered this morning and did the usual town stuff then after lunch Mark and i went into Barnstaple. I got a little bit stressed to start with trying to find something for my interview. It isn't some posh office job that i have to be all suited up for it just has to look smart and i don't do 'smart' really! We went into BHS and i saw this dress on the sale rail, there was only one and it was a size 12. It was a bit like my black dress (remember the first one i got to try and get into that was a 14) but it was not as short, it was knee length. I tried it on and i thought it looked ok but it was short sleeved and my fat arm pit bits looked horrid so i looked for a cardigan and there was one on the sale rail in a 'small' only but nice (i had to get a long sleeved cardi cos i have a tattoo on my wrist that i thought i had better have covered for an interview) . I asked the girl who worked there what she thought cos Mark is rubbish and she said it looked good. I then got some sensible black shoes and this is what it looks like........What do you think? Remember i am shit at having my photo taken :blush5: sorry.

http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/351661/width/226/height/700http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/351662/width/307/height/700

Oooh, random thought. I bought an Apricot tree for Mo today for her retirement present :)

Cate Thank you so so much for your kindness and support my lovely :) You always know what to say to make me feel better and less of a freaky headcase. You, as always, are so right, i will look back at this in a few months and think 'what the hell did you get so worked up about' Well, hopefully anyway :)
Look :) no cake today :hurray: I was determined to not have any, i've had a pretty good food day mentally today too, i haven't struggled with wanting to eat what i shouldn't for the first time in days and days. Hopefully it is a turning point. Thank you so so much for my hugs, right back at ya cupcake :grouphug: Xx

Greg Cheers for your kind words :) I do feel like i am complaining all the time recently and it is something so small in comparasion to some peoples problems but you are right, i need to write it all down so i can look back on it in the future and see that i DID get thru it. Thanks again mate, i really do appreciate it :grouphug:

Joh Hello my lovely :) Thanks for stopping by sweetie. I'm sorry you have come along at a time when all i do is eat cake and be really pitiful :blush5: You're confidence, everyone's actually, in me is so touching. Love and hugs my lovely :grouphug:

Sarah Heya sweetie. Thank you so so much for your post :) Reading it and Cate's this morning totally lifted me. I love that you all have so much faith in me, way way more that i would ever feel i deserve. I will take a deep breath and find some inner strength so get thru it. Hopefully my new outfit will give me some confidence :) Thanks again :grouphug:

Rosie :smilielol5: Trust you to have no sympathy for my ultra stressy shopping trip :eek: lol I hope it looks ok :) Big hugs :grouphug:

Thank you all so so much for just being there for me. You are all so understanding and non judgemental, i really do love you guys :grouphug: Hopefully i can make you proud and get myself thru this period of my life (with a new job :) ) a stronger person. You are truly awesome!!




 
Kate- You look sensational!! VERY SMART!! Don't forget to smile as you walk through the door & think to yourself "I want this job. I'm a great dental nurse & a great person & would be a real asset to this practice! Believe what we do about you sweetie & you are a cert for this job. We know that you should get it.

" YOU LOOK VERY SMART!!!! You'll slay 'em!!!

I'm in a hurry sweets as am off to walk around the golf course with my LH for 4 hrs! Big hugs & kisses &

WELL DONE ON HAVING A CAKE-FREE DAY!!!!

MWAH! xoxoxoxo Cate
 
Hey Kate,

I agree with Cate...you look great!!! :beating: I am going to offer a suggestion...get a different sweater to cover those arms...one that doesn't go down and cover your butt...I'm thinking the cardigan is a holdover from the "gotta cover my butt so it doesn't look so big" days...and you are over that girl...totally over it! :auto:..those days are behind you!!! You are rockin' that size 12, so flaunt it if ya got it baby! Show off your stuff!! :jump:You will walk in there full of self confidence and land whatever job you really really want...it's a new beginning for you...whomever hires you is really getting a person totally dedicated to her profession and full of motivation...and that will come shining through!! You are attractive, smart and woman...what more could they want!?

Go get 'em girl! :hurray:



Sarah
 
:eek2:Oh my, is it hot in here? Or is just Kate?? I think we all know the answer!! ;) You look incredible!!! And yes, very smart too! I love the dress, very pretty and your waist looks sooo tiny in it!! Navy and coral are supposed to be big this year, nice pick! Those people are going to be begging you to work for them!
 
I just lost my post i wrote,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,:reddevil:


I was saying that you look lovely kate!!!!i cant wait to see the pics of your weight loss side by side!!!


The dress is really nice you loo so smart and the shoes go well with it but...i am not sure about the cardigan.It is really pretty and the colour is really nice as well its just...i dont know i can put my finger on it.I think its the lenght of it that doesnt seem right with the dress.A bolero would look real nice i think something like this








not one of THESE but something like that
 
The long one seems like you are hidding away... i dont know exactly how to put it in words.

If you still go with the one you got you DO still look really smart i must say!!!


I wish you do real well im sure you will!!!!


sending lots of loves your way lots of kisseds too!!!!
 
ADAY 256

Breakfast: 2 small slices of wholemeal toast & mashed banana
2nd Breakfast: 2 small slices of wholemeal toast with light spread and jam (369 cals)
Lunch: Chicken fahita wrap (428 cals)
Dinner: Quiche, oven chips and salad with coleslaw (497 cals)
Snacks: 2 coffee's, a skinny cappuccino, go-ahead bar and a small back of light pretzels (346 cals)
Total calories = 1640 A bit over but sunday is my slack day so it's not too bad :)

Exercise: 5.5 mile run :)

Oh, i am all confused about what to wear now. :eek:
We had to go back into Barnstaple cos Marks glasses were not right so i went into a shop and found a shorter cardigan in navy and i thought it would match but looking at them together it looks too square where as the other one kinda softened the dress so it didn't look too stern, if that makes sence but......... I do have a black long sleeved bloero, i think i will feel to self concious in it but i will take a photo of each and put them together on here so you can let me know what you think. Here is the one i got today. I took it in the bathroom mirror so its a terrible photo.
http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/351796/width/249/height/700

At the interview they won't know that i use to be fat so i feel i have a fresh start with them. I felt the long cardi was soft and girly rather than too formal.

While i was in town i picked up this!!!!!!!

http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/351797/width/350/height/530 This is a.......SIZE 10!!!! I actually managed a smile in this photo (i was a little bit pleased :) )

I have spent all evening reading and commenting on peoples diaries so dont have time to reply to comments on here so i'll do it tomorrow and i'll put all three photo's on together so you can see, i reckon i will end up going with the first one cos it felt comfy but we'll see.



 
Now put a photo of you in the sleeveless dress without a cardigan or jacket please, because I think your arms look great in that new little top! Not with your arms flapping out of course, because none of us look good like that. I actually prefer the look of the little blue jacket, but possibly not done up. I do think the main thing is that you wear what you think looks the best & what you feel comfortable & confident in. Thanks for catching up with my diary sweet friend, xoxo Cate
 
Aww Kate, you are too adorable for words!! And you look incredibly gobsmacking-ly amazing!!


Really need to get myself into gear, I don't know why I'm in such a hole right now. I see myself gaining weight but I can't seem to find the strength to care!!! It's really frustrating, and I'm so worried I'm going to end up even further back than where I started from. In such a rut. Agh. Lol enough about me!!


I'm sorry about your job, I know going somewhere completely different and meeting new people and almost starting from scratch again can be hard (Maybe don't take it from me though, I've had 10+ different jobs and actually kinda thrive on the first week of 'new girl' status.. lol) that's amazing that you've been in the same job for so long, it's like leaving a family! I understand it's hard, and even quite sad that you have to go... But put it in a positive light- You get to meet new people, potential new friends, you're pushing yourself out of your comfort zone... All things that promote personal growth. And may contribute to pulling you out of your shell a little more. It gets better!!!!
 
You look fabulous and gorgeous and lovely and I hope that you'll be full of confidence as you go into that interview.

You'll sail right through!


As for the fashion dilemma, ITA with Cate on this. I'd like a no jacket pic, please, as that dress is super flattering and your arms look great in the adorable flowered peasant top photo.

And maybe I'd like the navy cardigan better if it wasn't buttoned up....

But no matter what you end up deciding, you'll look smashing! You're wearing sizes 12 and 10 now!!! Amazing!
 
Hey Kate,

I'm with Cate...sport the original dress...and from what I see in your cute little size 10 blouse (flaunt it if ya got it baby!) your arms don't look big at all to me...so, wear a coat if it's cold..but otherwise, go with the smart blue dress..solo!!

I'm so proud of you Kate...you're really looking great and before you know it you'll feel great too! The most important thing is to wear what YOU think...you are the one who will pull it off!


Sarah
 
ADAY 257

Breakfast: 50g porridge (180 cals)
Lunch: Ham, lettuce and light mayo wholemeal sandwich, 97 cal crisps, curley wurley!!!, yoghurt and grapes (510 cals)
Dinner: Quiche, salad and coleslaw (339 cals)
Snacks: 3 coffee's, 3 kiwi's, light alpen bar, 97 cal crisps and 2 slices of banana cake!!! (648 cals)
Total calories = 1677!!!!

Exercise: Rest day.

I have definately been comfort eating today :eek: but i managed to not go over by too much so i'm ok with that. I really think that these next few weeks i am just gonna aim to not gain :)

Rachel (the hygienist and BFF) worked this morning and she made me cry :cry: well, her crying made me cry :( She hadn't really thought about the fact that i wouldn't be there anymore either, like me, and it only really hit home when Her husband said that she will struggle with me not being there. We had a good cry, lovely cuddle and a laugh at each other for being silly. I will be working with her tomorrow and that could be our last day :(
I had managed really quite well over the weekend, not thinking about work. I just kinda focused on the interview, well, on what i am gonna bloody wear really lol This is becoming bloody crazy!!!! I have never worried so much about what i am going to wear to something in my life!!!!!!!! BUT, this morning going back to work really hit me hard. I did think that i would just post my food and just say that i wasn't up to posting but i managed to give myself a slap round the face and tell myself to get over it!!!! I can't promise that i will be able to manage it every day but i did today.

Anyway.......Interview outfit! I showed the girls at work the first one and all of them said 'that's nice' and then i showed them the second, shorter cardi one and they ALL said 'oooh, i prefer that one' so long cardi is out!!! I keep trying to talk myself into wearing it because i know that it feels like my comfort blanket but i just need to get over that :)
I have taken more bloody photo's...............Oh, Mark and Jack are out til late tonight so i have had to make do with the mirror photos again and the light is shocking but here ya go!
http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/351966/width/350/height/263 This is the reason i HAVE to wear something over it. Try as hard as i do, no amount or weights and working out has made them go away. My upper arms are flabby but that doesn't bother me as much as those hidious little blobs of fat sticking out of my arm pits!!!!! :cuss: Ok, rant over (i can't believe i am putting a photo of my discusting bits on here......the things you guys make me bloody do!!!) :) Also i have pretty bad psoriosis on my elbows that i want to cover. I also would rather cover my tattoo (seeing as i am taking photo's here it is.) I don't regret it in any way, i love it but some people really hate them so i thought i had better try and cover it.
http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/351967/width/350/height/467

Cardigan un-done. I really don't like this, i think it now looks like a granny jacket lol
http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/351968/width/267/height/700

This is a long sleeved bolero thing, it is kinda knitted (basically it is just arms!)
http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/351969/width/253/height/700

This is shorter, say 3/4 length but has lace detail around the neck. Both are black. This one doesn't cover my tattoo!
http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/351970/width/257/height/700

Personally i prefer the longer of the two.......Opinions please :)

Thank you all so so so so much for all your awesomely kind words and honesty too. I really don't know how i would cope with everything at the moment if i didn't have you all

:beating: Love you :beating:​



 
Kate im going to come back later on just wanted to say that you look soooo tiny!!!!! For sure the little boleros define your little waist so go with one of them.I like them both.I ill be back to say some more things i want to , but i have to go do something quick
 
I totally vote for the bolero with longer sleeves! It covers all your arm concerns and looks SO adorable on you!

The shorter length lets the cut of the dress shine through and shows off your curved-in waist area!


Your figure looks just perfect- realy lovely! You must be over the moon, seeing your hard work pay off so well. (You DO see how great you look in the pics, right??!!)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top