A new me! (hopefully, with some help)

AMorning all

I was bad again last night and had a granola bar, 3 biscuits and some grapes!!!!!! This morning i thought that i am eating more in the evening cos i'm not eating enough in the day so..........

I have set myself a new target :) I have changed 'myfitnesspal' to only wanting to lose 1lb a week and it now says that i can have 1510 calories a day :)

My new target is to lose that last 5lb by the time i reach day 300!! That is totally adable and i think eating more will help too.
 
Good idea Kate. I think the 1200 cals a day when you're so active & only have so little to lose, may be too few calories. What you usually eat in a day is NOT BAD, just over what you allocated. This way you will still drop your weight & not feel bad about going over. I'm starting to think 1200 is too low for me too. I'll give it a full week though. Lots of love to you sweets. Hope you're enjoying your week-end, xoxo Cate
 
ADAY 248

Breakfast: Mashed banana on 2 small slices of wholemeal toast (202 cals)
Lunch: Caribean chicken sandwich and salad (350 cals)
Dinner: Small bowl of spagetti bolognaise (416 cals)
Snacks: 3 coffee's, go ahead yoghurt bar, chocolate frosted cupcake (429 cals)
Total calories = 1407

Exercise: lots of carrying shed parts around!!

I have had a lovely day :)

I am really glad that i made the decision to change my app to only losing 1lb a week. I am pretty much there and it is so hard being so strict when my brain and everyone is telling me that i don't need to lose anymore. It was a real struggle sticking to 1200 and having that little bit more today made such a difference :) I found that i wasn't obsessing about food all day and i have been doing that a lot lately. I know that i can lose the last 5lb (and maybe another 3lb :rolleyes:) by the time i reach day 300 :)

We had to get up early this morning to go up to the allotment cos someone has given us a massive shed and we had to take it off his truck and carry the parts down to the allotment. It was a really good work out :) We then went up town and did the usual shop. Mark had an eye test in Barnstaple this afternoon so we all went in. I needed some summer clothes, i don't really have anything that fits so we went clothes shopping. There was a closing down sale in one shop and i got a little black dress for £5!!! I also got lots of t-shirts, some shorts!!, flowery little skirts, crop trousers and a pair of crop jeans!!! I needed a white bra so i went to Marks & Spencers to get one and just couldn't find one that fitted right and was about to give up when the woman who works there offered to help, she measured me and she had a look at ones that i tried on and went and got some different sizes. I use to be a 42DD back when i started losing weight and today i am a 34DD!!!!! A 34!!! i can't believe it!! I always thought that i was too broard around the back and would never get below a 38 and was really chuffed a month or so ago when i got into a 36D but a 34!!!! that is really small, and DD that says big boobs, i know they are not but hey i am well pleased with that size :)
We stopped at mum & dads on the way home and i put the little black dress on to show her. Her face was a picture, it really was. I totally love how happy she is for me :) When i was in a small size 16 she said to me 'don't lose too much, you don't want to go to far' but now she is just so so happy for me and is so obviously really proud.
When we got home i tried on all my new clothes and even re tried on other things i had. Do you remember the pictures i put on here of two dresses that i couldn't get done up? One of them, the strapless one was way too small and i never thought i would get it done up cos i thought my boobs and ribs were just too big.....WELL.......i got it done up today!!!!! My boobs spill out over the top but it did up and really made my waist look really small. I will get Mark to take some photos :)

I don't think i will weigh tomorrow, i have had a pretty shit week and dont wanna piss myself off so will probably leave it till next week. Busy day tomorrow, run in the morning then spending the day working at the allotment. Lots of cals burning shall be done :)

Cate You are so right about not starving yourself. I have felt so different today eating just that little bit more. I haven't sat here all evening craving food. I also think that upping my cals a bit will make it easier to up them more when i get to maintenance. I think going from 1200 to 2000 will be really odd, going from 1510 to 2000 will be much easier i think.
Can't wait to see the photo's :) I am gonna put some on when Mark takes them for me but i am not going to a before/after one until i reach my final target.

Ruthie I never really thought about the fact that i had already achevied what i wanted to with my Blast. Thank you sweetie for reminding me. I read your's and Cate's post this morning and they made me decide on changing things. I had been thinking about it but thought i was trying to get out of doing it but you guys made me realise that i need to be sensible.
AERO!!!! I love that stuff and could quite easily eat a huge bar of it but......tut tut naughty girl :cuss:
 
ADAY 249

Breakfast: 2 small slices of wholemeal toast with mashed banana (202 cals)
Lunch: 97 cal crisps, plum and a cereal bar (260 cals)
Dinner: A bowl of stew (267 cals)
Snacks: 3 coffee's, 3 kiwi's, yoghurt, go ahead bars and a yoghurt bar (499 cals)
Total calories = 1228 but i am going to have some frozen yoghurt as my sunday night treat :)

Exercise: 7 mile run & two and a half hours working hard on the allotment :)

I have had a really busy day and am knackered!! I've had a good day though.

Forgot to get Mark to take some photo's but i will get him to do some this week, i promise.

I am going to have a treat night (just night, not all day) on a sunday :) and i'm gonna have some frozen yoghurt tonight :)

Hope everyone has a good week. Love to all. Xx
 
Frozen yoghurt?? Frozen yoghurt???? Not chocolate??????? Very healthy treat young woman!! You are doing so well Kate, with your diet & your exercise. You should fix this moment in your head as the stage in your life when you really, well & truly, changed your lifestyle. WELL DONE SWEETIE! xoxo Cate
 
I am super jealous of your bra size! That is a glamour models bra size ;) Glad you found yourself some nice summer bits in the shops.


Bet your allotment is goingt to be filled with lovely yummies soon, what have you got growing?


Oh, and I didn't ask you why you are paper machay-ing crates and barrels lol. Are you still at it? And what are they for?


Think its the right decision to slow down a bit :D You'll be there before you know it. x
 
I was wanting to tell you for some time now to pleeeaassseee post some pics of you now,need to see you now that you are there,well ok ok a tiny step and you're there.!!!!!in MY mind you are there but i repect your desicion to loose the last 5 lbs :p


I wish i had big boobs.............mine have shrank......i have no clue what i am...i will also go to try some on i do need to get a bra....


I soooo agreee with turning up the cals and you saying that it is so much better for you that way!!!!!

What is caribean chicken????i am searching for low cal meals!!!
 
ADAY 250!!!!!

Breakfast: 50g porridge & a banana (270 cals)
Lunch: Small bowl of left over stew, yoghurt 95 cal crisps and a granola bar (499 cals)
Dinner: Last of the left over stew (267 cals)
Snacks: 4 coffee's, 3 kiwi's and a cereal bar (310 cals)
Total calories = 1346

Exercise: 3 and a quater mile run

OMG!! I am on day 250 who would have thought i would still be going this long!! I've posted every day too :) and i'm looking forward to the next 250 days :)

I normally reply to everyones comments at the end of my diary but today i feel i have to do them first......

Cate Oh Cupcake, i am hanging my head in shame :eek: You were so lovely about how great i was for having frozen yoghurt as my sunday treat. Oh i am so embarassed about saying this (you will giggle though).....Here goes.......It was a tub of Ben & Jerry's........(deep breath) chocolate brownie frozen yoghurt!!!! :blush5: And i ate the whole tub :svengo: I really didn't mean to eat it all but it was just so damn scrummy!!! and all of a sudden it was empty, i really don't know what happened to it. When i was taking the empty tub down to the bin i worked out the calories and it was.......740!!!! I am so so sorry :blush5: I will never ever buy that again!!!!! I promise evil bloody stuff!!! The bathroom scales are being super nasty to me the last 2 days. This morning they might as well have said 'Ben & Jerry's.....here, have a handful of lbs for doing that!!!!'

Ruthie I't weird, they really look like saggy spaniel ears to me and they are tiny compared to what they were but i was so so chuffed that they are a 34dd. I'm still blown away with that. More the 34 than the dd bit. It really is weird i never thought my 'frame' could be that small :)
We only have onions and garlic up there at the moment but will be planting soon :) I love sunny sunday afternoons up there :)
We are making paper mache stuff for the show that Jack is involved with at the theatre. Mark helps out and he makes the props so i'm paper macheing!
I feel like slowing down is the right thing to do but the bathroom scales are being super nasty to me the last few day!!! If that doesn't stop then i am gonna go back to 1200!!

Jess I will put some photo's on soon, i promise :) I will put some of my new clothes on but i want to leave the before and after ones til i have reached goal :)
My boobs are horrible and saggy but a good bra can do wonders i definately reccommend a good bra. It really makes such a difference :)
Hopefully uping my calories is a good idea! The scales are being nasty though, we will see on sunday for my official weigh in.

OK, on to my day. I was gutted with what the scales said this morning. Hopefully it is just retention (Ben & Jerry's retention lol)
I had really serious bloated stomach pain this afternoon at work!! It was that bad that i was doubled over at points :( Earlier in the day i had kinda decided to go for a run up the railway line after work, seeing as it is lighter in the evenings now and it was a glorious day, it seemed such a shame going to the gym when it was so nice. I even thought about taking Lola (one of my dogs) with me to see how she got on. With the stomach pain this afternoon i then decided that i couldn't do it but did feel a bit better when i got home from work so i went, and took Lola. We only did 3 and a bit miles but that's because Lola hadn't been with me before and i didn't want to be cruel and make her do a 5 mile run straight away, i even did interval running for her :) She is totally flaked out right now, bless her, but i think she loved it. :)

Oh,oh I have decided that seeing as i am such a bad girl in the evenings i am going to ban any food after i have had my dinner. I am going to do that all week and then if i have calories left on saturday or sunday then i might have something then but not during the week.
 
You're right Kate!! I did giggle! That is so funny! Here I was, thinking you were such an angel eating "frozen yoghurt" as a treat :Angel_anim: and there you were scoffing a rich dessert, disguised as "yoghurt".....:smilielol5:The scales are being cruel to me today, too, but I'm not going to let them get to me either. I can vary 2kg in 2 days :eek: I'm thinking more calories suits my body, so will up mine again today, back to 1420 a day. Looking forward to seeing some photos of your new clothes. Don't wait sweets. We're way too impatient for that. You could just post a few in your diary & add them to your profile as 'afters' later, xoxo Cate
 
YAY 250 days!!! I'm truly impressed!!!!!!!!!! And OMG- 5lbs away from your goal. You almost weigh as much as I do!!!!!!! Awesome about the drop in back/bra size!! Always a good feeling!! And YES, pictures are definitely in order!!


Promise I'll stick around this time!!
 
AHi Kate! I've missed you!
Im so excited for you that you fit into a size 34 bra now - that is positively tiny!!! Good luck on not eating after dinner this week, I know that is my hardest time as well! If something's gonna go down, it always happens late at night!
So proud of you, lots of love :)
 
ADAY 251

Breakfast: 50g porridge & banana (270 cals)
Lunch: Ham, lettuce and light mayo wholemeal sandwich, 97 cal crisps and a yoghurt (331 cals)
Dinner: Quiche & oven chips (418 cals)
Snacks: 3 coffee's, 3 kiwi's, cereal bar, granola bar & 2 slices of banana cake (819 cals)
Total calories = 1838!!!

Exercise: Rest day.

Bit of a food failure today but i have had quite a roller coaster day emotionally today!

When i got to work i checked facebook on my phone and i had a message from someone that was a dental nurse with me several years ago and this is what she had written.

"Hi kate, i am covering mr percival at tower house at the moment as his nurse is sick and has decided to leave and he knew that i'd worked for maureen and asked if i knew you i said yes and that you were a brilliant nurse and that you trained me and are absolutely fantastic at your job as you have been doing it for many years and you are also a lovely person , he was really pleased to hear that and im assuming he will contact you shortly. Hope all is well take care Kerry x"

I was totally blown away that she did that for me :) Bless her. Anyway, i was in a super good mood all day and really excited (i love tuesdays anyway as it's a Rachel day). When i got home i had a letter from said dentist inviting me for an interview next wednesday!

I've got an interview!!!​

After about 10 minutes of total joy, texting friends and family i went into 'OMG!!! i've got an interview!!' freak out! I am so so scared, i went into panic mode. I have never had an interview before and i'm scared. It isn't until next wednesday so i have a whole week to worry about it too :eek:

I then made myself do stuff so i couldn't think about it cos i was just sat staring at one point. So i have made 5 banana cakes!!!!, paper mached 4 barrels, applied for another job online (the part time one in Barnstaple), delivered Avon stuff and sorted out the stuff for a german friendship cake. I have just sat down now and stopped and it's after 9.30pm! I am all anxious and in knots!!! I have failed in my aim to not eat after dinner (actually dinner was a fail too, i was going to have salad with my quiche but we didn't have half the stuff i needed so ended up having chips) i had 2 slices of cake :( I'm not stressing it, tomorrow is another day and hopefully i will have got my head round everything by then. I'm quite shocked at how freaked out i am!! I know it isn't an excuse for eating cake but i will get back on track tomorrow. As the big day draws closer i will probably eat less, i tend to do that when i am anxious as i feel sick.

Cate Glad i made you giggle sweetie. I was so ashamed of my blatent lie (or bending the truth lol) you definately rumbled me :blush5: I promise to get Mark to take some photo's, probably this weekend, we have such a busy few weeks now but i will pester him to do them :)
Hopefully we can get rid of our fluid retention (or cake and Ben & Jerry retention in my case lol) soon :)

Lucy :hurray: :hurray: Yay!!! You're back. I've really missed you sweetie :) Ok, ok i will sort photos :) So so good to have you back hun. Big hugs :grouphug:

Rosie :hurray: Hello my lovely :) I hope you are back too!!! I've missed you loads too sweetie. Big hugs :grouphug:

I'll try and catch up with diaries tomorrow, it's really late and i need to chill right now. Love and hugs to all :grouphug:
 
Wee Hoo Kate!!!!!

An exciting new chapter is about to start in your life!!

Don't be nervous-

be confident

& excited!!!

:party:

:party:

xoxo Cate
 
ATHAT'S BRILLIANT!!!!! It must be lovely to know that everyone is trying to help you and is saying nice things about you :) You'll be fine at the interview, just be yourself and smile your lovely gnashers in their face and they will snap you up!

When I lost weight for the first time all those years ago I was exactly the same about my frame size, I honestly didn't think that I could get lower than a 12-14 however much weight I lost because I was just big boned, and that was that. Its a nice surprise to see your skeleton is skinny isn't it :D

A few of my bulbs are starting to sprout in the garden, its exciting!

I was thinking about joining an amateur dramatics club to try and increase my confidence at talking in public as my nerves are still frazzled when everyone's looking at me and I had an epic fail of a uni presentation. Does he have a lot of fun at his?

At least you weren't over 2000 calories today!

Ps. That friendship cake sounds lovely :D
 
ADAY 252

Breakfast: 50g porridge (180 cals)
Lunch: 50g porridge, 97 cal crisps and a yoghurt (329 cals)
Dinner: 3 strips of breaded chicken, salad and light salad cream (264 cals)
Snacks: 3 coffee's, 3 kiwi's, granola bar, 97 cal crisps and some german friendship cake (709 cals)
Total calories = 1482

Exercise: none :(

I'm not in a good head space today :( I know i should be excited but i'm just scared shitless!! And i don't want to leave where i work now, everyone is lovely and even though she is my boss i am really going to miss Mo. I have worked with her pretty much every day since i was 17, i have grown up with her. She has always been there for me thru everything. The only way i can describe how i feel is 'lost'

I can't face reading diaries today, sorry :(

Thank you for your lovely kind words, i'll reply tomorrow.
 
Oh sweetie, BIG HUGS!!!:grouphug: It's perfectly understandable to feel that way. Sending you lots and lots of love, xoxo Cate
 
Aw kate.So sorry you feel sad.Sending you as well lots of hugs sweetheart , i really hope you are better today.

Even though change is good and you are getting an interview and all good things are happening i really DO understan the feeling you have of leaving.It is so normal to feel this way.Just expet it , feel it, even have a good cry and you will feel better real soon,i promise you will.

Lots of love hope you have a great day!
 
Sorry to hear you're feeling down, Kate. I can totally relate, I detest change! But, I can think of many times in my life when something was coming to an end and I was sure it was going to be the end of the world, only to find there was something even better in store for me just around the corner! I know how scary it is, but I know you will do great - look, you're already in such high demand! ;) Hope you feel better soon! :hug2:
 
ADAY 253

Breakfast: 50g porridge (180 cals)
Lunch: Ham, lettuce and light mayo wholemeal sandwich, 97 cal crisps and a yoghurt (219 cals)
Dinner: Chicken breast stuffed with philly & herbs, wrapped in 2 slices of bacon with salad and light salad cream (340 cals)
Snacks: 3 coffee's, 3 kiwi's, go-ahead bar & a slice of german friendship cake (471 cals)
Total calories = 1210

Exercise: 30 min run

I've had a really good food day today. I was being a bit rubbish over the last few days but i have kinda realised that i need to just make sure i don't gain right now and then crack back on when i am more stable mentally.

I've been better today :) Not great, but better. I feel really self centred when there are other people with way way worse problems than me. I am so so sorry for being so bloody pathetic. I am embarassed with myself.
I had a lovely chat with Mo this morning and she said that it is gonna be hard for both of us as we have been a massive part of each others lives for so long and she gave me a hug, bless her.
I think i have kinda come to terms that my mental state is gonna be a bit all over the place these next few months and i just think i have to accept that that is how it is gonna be and just go with it. Mark has been lovely, so suportive and easy to talk to about things. A lot of the time i just feel like an insecure child who needs hugs and he is always there to give them :)

I have to go and do more paper macheing.....at least it is theraputic :) I might get chance to get back and check out some diaries but i will definately catch up over the weekend.

Thank you all so so much for being so bloody awesome and supportive. You guys rock :grouphug:

Cate Thank you for your kind words about the interview. I'm sort of numb about it at the moment. All i can think is that if i get it then i will be leaving where i am in a week! :eek: and that is freaking me out. And thank you so so much for your hugs, it really really means a lot. I do feel stupid for being such a bloody head case, it does help being able to open up on here about how i feel. :grouphug:

Ruthie Thank you so much :) It is lovely that everyone is so supportive and helpful. I am blown away with how much they think of me :blush5: I don't think that i am all that special, i don't get why people would be so nice.
Jack does love going down the theatre. He does drama, musical theatre, street dance, tap and acro as well as being involved with the 'Ilfracombe Rocks' music workshop. (look for 'Ilfracombe Rocks' on face book and scroll down to 'all summer long' and watch that. Jack is the one playing the guitar in school uniform. It's the first time he had played it and it took them an hour to practice it) He has been going down there since he was 8. A good friend of ours runs it and she let him start really young as she knew all his energy could be put to good use.
The friendship cake was just sooooooo scrummy. If you lived nearer i would have given you some but you can't post it really. Actually one of the friends i gave it to is gonna give me some back, i can post you some, i dont see why it wont work :)

Jess I feel so bad complaining about how my life isn't going the way i want it to when others have it much harder. Thank you so so much for your support, especially seeing as things are not going so good for you at the moment either. You are such a wonderful person :grouphug:

Rosie Cheers for stopping by my lovely. I still haven't had chance to check out your diary. I am so sorry, i will catch up this weekend i promise, i have either been really busy or wallowing in selfpity :blush5: Hopefully all will be ok and like you said...even better :)

Much love and hugs to all :grouphug: :grouphug:
 
Sweetie, change is really challenging & scary but you will adapt & you will make the most of it & turn this upheaval into a positive new beginning. I know you will, just from what I have learned about you here in the forum. You are stronger than you think. You are obviously very capable in your job & very valued. Don't be embarrassed (she says being very similar) at expressing your fears & insecurities in here, as we hear all the bad 'bits' & love you unconditionally. We all dislike feeling needy & all over the show mentally, but honey, we are just mere mortals. You're one of us, we're with you. We all feel this way at times. Sometimes I feel like I'm about 5! It's lovely that you shared some of your feelings with Mo & that you had a hug together. Not only will she miss you , but she will also miss practicing her skills. I would imagine that she would want to continue your friendship. To work together so well for so long is not just about the work. She sounds lovely too.

Well done on eating better sweetie. That body of yours is your temple. You'll be right. You'll look back at this one day & wonder why you worried so much. That's what usually happens with me. Even the really bad things end up in perspective when we remember all of the good things & just how lucky we are. It's just hard at the time.

Lots of love to you sweets, xoxo Cate
 
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