A new chapter begins
- Thread starter juni
- Start date
Hey Juni!
juni
New member
been away for too long (and when i don't visit here often, i tend to be naughty)....kids and work keeping me busy. kids leave this weekend, so should have a little bit of time. have soooo much to do before i leave....
will be back in full swing this weekend. weigh-in tomorrow will probably be horrible, but next week is a brand new week and gonna try really hard to get to 60kgs before i leave for home.
will be back in full swing this weekend. weigh-in tomorrow will probably be horrible, but next week is a brand new week and gonna try really hard to get to 60kgs before i leave for home.
juni
New member
heeee....and i'm back.
Hi Derrick, so nice to hear from you, as always. I blew it this past week, and the weekend wasn't any better, but new week begins.
juni
New member
Moving on...and only looking ahead....
So I've been away for waay too long again. Last week was just horrible. Deadlines, kids and then hunnie troubles. End this week hunnie and I decided to call it off (whatever we had between us- we broke up, i guess).
I have known him for almost ten years- I was a freshmen when he was a senior in college. A very good friend of mine was going out with him, so although I was always attracted to him (and he to me, I found out later), we never did anything about it. We went out separate ways, kept in touch, until a few years ago when we met each other again. The kind of work he does, is very similar to what I do. We both had lead crazy lives, traveling and living in really scary places. Whatever we had in the past, it just became better when we met again. For the last few years we have been doing long distance (he gets to travel to visit me quite a lot- so I see him two-three times a year). It was wonderful few years, that I will cherish for a long long time. But not being closer to each other has not been easy for him or me. I am constantly worrying about him, about his safety while living in dangerous places. The few weeks I would have him for was not enough, for him or for me.
Recently he was promoted and given the option to move back home to the States and he wanted to take it. But what he also wanted was to settle down with me (also I was moving back home to grad school)...and I am just not ready for it. We have been back and forth on this for over a year, and it all blew over this past week.
Its sad because what I will miss the most is the friendship because we have been friends for so long. He does make my world go round...in that giddy, crazy way. I love that. He is the most romantic person...but we are both in very different places right now. I am in no way ready to settle down in one place...so we decided to let each other go. We should have done this a long time ago....it would have saved us both a lot of hurt feelings. It is extremely hard right now (apart from my family, this is the one place where I have really talked about it). He is my great love and I will miss him till I'm numb. But In the end, I think we made a wise decision. In some ways I feel relieved, because now he is free to go out with women who actually would want to settle down. I hope I can recover our friendship from all this. It feels totally bizarre right now---the concept of being friends with him because we have been so much more than that. I am not someone who can just bounce back...it will take me a long time to get over him. I hope we can go back to being friends in the future.
eeeeekkkkk......The above has become a loong long story. Its strange though--as I was writing about the breakup a lot of things became clear. As I said, apart from some members of my family, only people in this forum know about this. Over the last few months I have felt more comfortable here...so even though this is a public forum, I feel like I can trust you. Also, Im an extremely private person and anonymity helps.
Needless to say, I am sad but I know I am strong enough to get through this. Im single again (crazy!). Now I'm looking forward--to moving, taking care of myself, eating right, being back to my own country and grad school.
Busy couple of weeks ahead, but I promise to be more regular here, now that all the dramas are over. Also the kids left yesterday...I'm missing them so much. Now I immerse myself into work, exercise, saying goodbye, packing and looking forward.
Hope everyone is doing well.
So I've been away for waay too long again. Last week was just horrible. Deadlines, kids and then hunnie troubles. End this week hunnie and I decided to call it off (whatever we had between us- we broke up, i guess).
I have known him for almost ten years- I was a freshmen when he was a senior in college. A very good friend of mine was going out with him, so although I was always attracted to him (and he to me, I found out later), we never did anything about it. We went out separate ways, kept in touch, until a few years ago when we met each other again. The kind of work he does, is very similar to what I do. We both had lead crazy lives, traveling and living in really scary places. Whatever we had in the past, it just became better when we met again. For the last few years we have been doing long distance (he gets to travel to visit me quite a lot- so I see him two-three times a year). It was wonderful few years, that I will cherish for a long long time. But not being closer to each other has not been easy for him or me. I am constantly worrying about him, about his safety while living in dangerous places. The few weeks I would have him for was not enough, for him or for me.
Recently he was promoted and given the option to move back home to the States and he wanted to take it. But what he also wanted was to settle down with me (also I was moving back home to grad school)...and I am just not ready for it. We have been back and forth on this for over a year, and it all blew over this past week.
Its sad because what I will miss the most is the friendship because we have been friends for so long. He does make my world go round...in that giddy, crazy way. I love that. He is the most romantic person...but we are both in very different places right now. I am in no way ready to settle down in one place...so we decided to let each other go. We should have done this a long time ago....it would have saved us both a lot of hurt feelings. It is extremely hard right now (apart from my family, this is the one place where I have really talked about it). He is my great love and I will miss him till I'm numb. But In the end, I think we made a wise decision. In some ways I feel relieved, because now he is free to go out with women who actually would want to settle down. I hope I can recover our friendship from all this. It feels totally bizarre right now---the concept of being friends with him because we have been so much more than that. I am not someone who can just bounce back...it will take me a long time to get over him. I hope we can go back to being friends in the future.
eeeeekkkkk......The above has become a loong long story. Its strange though--as I was writing about the breakup a lot of things became clear. As I said, apart from some members of my family, only people in this forum know about this. Over the last few months I have felt more comfortable here...so even though this is a public forum, I feel like I can trust you. Also, Im an extremely private person and anonymity helps.
Needless to say, I am sad but I know I am strong enough to get through this. Im single again (crazy!). Now I'm looking forward--to moving, taking care of myself, eating right, being back to my own country and grad school.
Busy couple of weeks ahead, but I promise to be more regular here, now that all the dramas are over. Also the kids left yesterday...I'm missing them so much. Now I immerse myself into work, exercise, saying goodbye, packing and looking forward.
Hope everyone is doing well.
chubbygirl
New member
Aww thanks for sharing Juni! That is really sad about your hunnie - I'm glad you are able to look on the positive side though - that says a lot about how strong you are!! I have been really bad and I just don't get why - I know that answering that is going to be the only way I change but I think the answer is just that I love food so much so how do I change that?? Let's start fresh today and make it a great week!! Good to see you back!
Sunflower2
New member
I'm sorry darling..Glad you felt like you could share with us. Think we've all been through break-ups and I hope you begin to enjoy single life with your new, healthy body! Thinking of you xx
Verobc1
New member
Hey Juni
I am sorry to hear about you and your hunnie, but glad that you are seeing the positive side,,, I am glad that you can open up on here, I feel the same way people on this forum have become like a second familly to me! You are one strong women and I know that you will be more then ok. Let's make this week a great week food and exercise wise!
I am sorry to hear about you and your hunnie, but glad that you are seeing the positive side,,, I am glad that you can open up on here, I feel the same way people on this forum have become like a second familly to me! You are one strong women and I know that you will be more then ok. Let's make this week a great week food and exercise wise!
juni
New member
hi lisa, thanks for the kind words. read your message and it made me feel better. thanks. yes, lets start fresh this week and make this week the best.
thanks sun. it hurts, but im much better this week. thanks for your sweet message.
im much better this week, veronique. thanks so much for your message. lets forget the negetives in our lives and really focus on getting healthier. sending you good vibes from here. hugs.
-----
hello folks,
quick log on what i did yesterday. there was much running all around town as i find shipping people, sell off, give away things. my evenings are occupied with that. packing is hard.
can't believe i only have a month left here.food wise i have been really low on cal but haven't had much of an appetite. hopefully it will come back this week
B: nothing- didn't have the time, was running around
L: 1 cup rice with sauteed cauliflower
D: 1 chicken breast grilled, some mashed potatoes and 1/2 brownie with ice-cream
S: 1 energy bar (70 cal)
will visit everyone's journal this evening and check on what you all have been doing. hope everyone's well and healthy.
juni
New member
Quick update on food today:
B: 1 toast- multigrain with 1 teaspoon pb and homemade marmalade
L: 1 cup spinach, 1/2 cup bulgar and 1/2 cup rice
D: 1/2 cup rice with spinach and cauliflower, 1 mango
Snack: 1 granola bar (70 cal)
My appetite is not back yet. But i'm working on it.
Also, walked 10,000 steps.
Exhausted today. I think its because I am extremely low on calories and I have been on my feet all day. Need to up the calories.
I wanted to visit your journals, friends, but looks like that will have to wait another day. I am beat...should be back to my old self soon, bear with me.
Sending hugs all around.
B: 1 toast- multigrain with 1 teaspoon pb and homemade marmalade
L: 1 cup spinach, 1/2 cup bulgar and 1/2 cup rice
D: 1/2 cup rice with spinach and cauliflower, 1 mango
Snack: 1 granola bar (70 cal)
My appetite is not back yet. But i'm working on it.
Also, walked 10,000 steps.
Exhausted today. I think its because I am extremely low on calories and I have been on my feet all day. Need to up the calories.
I wanted to visit your journals, friends, but looks like that will have to wait another day. I am beat...should be back to my old self soon, bear with me.
Sending hugs all around.
chubbygirl
New member
Hey Juni - glad to see you are getting by and moving forward with your life. Eating will pick up soon I'm sure - just take it easy. 
hugs
hugs
chubbygirl
New member
See you in a couple weeks - I'll be thinking of you!! Take care. 
jjjay
New member
Lots and lots of hugs coming your way Juni - only just caught up on your diary and if you ever need to talk then this is the place to come...
I hope things get easier for you with time and sounds like your head knows what its doing even though the heart feels differently sometimes.
I hope things get easier for you with time and sounds like your head knows what its doing even though the heart feels differently sometimes.
juni
New member
See you in a couple weeks - I'll be thinking of you!! Take care.
Congratulations, Lisa. So so so happy for you. See you in a couple of weeks. Will be thinking of you on your wedding day.
Hey there!!
I haven't been around for a while, how is it going, friend?
I'm sorry you're so stressed with all this moving stuff going on.
Thanks Hanabi. Have missed reading your updates. Hope things are cool?
Jjjay, thank you so much. Your message cheered me up. Thanks for listening. Means a lot.
----
Hiya folks, I'm back. I needed some time away, but I think I'm fine now. New week, new month, new me. Moving on. Healthy eating is the priority. Between packing and still working like a maniac (actually the work I don't mind so much this week, at least keeps my mind off things), I have tried my best to eat healthy. Drank too much on Thursday night to the point that I couldn't get up the next morning and needed to take aspirin, but I think I needed to get shitfaced. Friday went out again but only had one gin and tonic and then came home while the rest of the group partied till the wee hours of the morning (crazy kids!). I met with a friend to say goodbye for breakfast on Saturday, then came home and stayed in bed, watching really bad movies. Same on Sunday.
New week-- and I was back at my desk at 8am today morning, working on a huuuge report. I have a big (like career making/destroying big) presentation on Monday morning, then I'm done done done. Then I pack some more and leave (hopefully) by end the 22nd of this month. I'm really ready to move- so keep fingers crossed for the big presentation and moving everyone.
Food log for today
B: boiled egg
L: bulgar, tomatoes, string beans
S: mango
D: ramen noodles (yikes) ugh all the sodium and bad stuff, raw cucumbers
S: 1 piece of toast with pb
Low on calories and didn't really make that smart of choices in terms of food, but I'll get back on track by tomorrow.
Hope everyone has a wonderful week.
