A new beginning...

Thanks to all of you for your sweet words! And yep I will find a better more satisfying job, with people who can change their own toliet rolls!!! :D

Wednesday, March 8th, 2006
Weigh In: 154 Not talking about it! :mad:
Exercise: 30 minutes on the ellipitical, 15 minutes upper body weights & stretchin!
Water: 32oz
Cheat Day.. :) Treated FH and myself to Starbucks.

So, I buy new ink for the printer today. YAY! Too bad I uhm left the list of colors we were out of, at home! :rolleyes: So anyhow, getting in gear today and the office is quiet so far. I get to leave at 10:45 for my doctors appt. Which won't exactly be the most pleasant one, but hopefully they'll run some tests to find out why my cycles are so out of wack! :)This is a new doc,so we'll see. With any luck they'll be a cautious group! I'll be happy to be out of the office for awhile!

So back at the gym today. I couldn't resist! :) The back feels pretty good. I can feel it being tight when I stretch, but I know its loosening up! The hips only seem to start throbbing when I sit for too long. So plan on str etching mid-day today and this evening again. Still taking it fairly easy at the gym. Will stress the weights, but not too hard on the cardio. I proably won't really lose a lot this challenge and am debating dropping off, because I just can't put forth the real effort I wanted to unfortunately. :(

Anyhow.. .thank you again ladies for all your wonderful support!! I really appreciate it! You are all great! :D Now to go snoop in other diaries today!!

Edit: Ok so I bemoaned to Sid (FH) that my hips are throbbing now <avoiding taking anything since I have a docs appt later) and the scale went up, so I'm not thrilled about either of these things! He now tells me he is "hiding the scale and we are going to make this fun" :confused: I'm frightened girls...!!
 
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hey! how are you feeling today? how's the back/hips? did you go to gym or stretch? fill me in!!!
hope you are well

(i think i posted same time as you!)
 
skyler said:
hey! how are you feeling today? how's the back/hips? did you go to gym or stretch? fill me in!!!
hope you are well

(i think i posted same time as you!)
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:D Yep we were posting at the same time! How funny! :) I am doing better. Hips are kind of throbbing right now, not enjoying that, but ibuprofuen does usually do some good. ;)
 
Oh That Throbbing Is Saying No Pain No Gain Girlfriend So You Know Your Workout Did Good And Worked!! Woooooohoooooooo Its Wonderful Wednesday Lets Rock Them Scales!! I Have To Step It Up Cause I Am A Stay At Home Mommy Again!!
 
Uh-oh, what is that boy plotting for you?? LOL whatever it is, I hope it works, and I hope it really is fun!
 
Lets hope what Sid has planned IS fun, because I asked if I should be frighted and he said yes! LOL! :eek: hehe we'll see.

So, the doc's appt. GRR. I got the major blow off. Kind of expected it. Alas.. I have a weird medical history and the minute I mentioned a bit of it, it was sort of "ooh yeah we're not talking or touching you w/ a ten foot pole until we get a letter of authorization to prescribe something to you from your doctor" .. ooh fun. Anyhow. I'll probably get smacked on b/c in hopes to regulate everything. She basicalyl talked over me when I tried to describe my symptoms etc. Which irritated me, other than that I really liked her. She was done with my exam faster than scat and that was a first for me! (the last two I've had, they literally were FUMBLING w/ equipment :eek: not the kind of thing that gives ya confidence). So anyhow. We'll see. Have to wait to hear back from my neurologist.. blah :)

Thanks for all the upbeat posts girls.. you guys ROCK!! :)
 
Exercise: 30 minutes treadmill, 20 minutes lower body weights & stretching
Water: 72oz
Breakfast: 3 hardboiled egg whites 150 calories
Snack: protein shake 110 calories
Lunch: tuna & crackers 210 calories
Snack: yogurt parfait 160 calories
Dinner:pork chops 578 calories
Total calories: 1208

I'm going to attempt to write down my moods as of late, in hopes I express them here I won't feed them like I did yesterday by eating etc. (Had pizza, bread sticks, chips, it was not pretty) No one really has to respond to my bemoaning, because that's really all this is, so don't worry about making me feel better, I think I just need to ramble off my feelings right now. :) I don't want to sound like I'm lookin for a pity party. I'm not. But I just feel like maybe, just maybe if I vocalize it here, I'll stop stuffin my face to cover up my stress!

8:46am Feelings of the morning:
I want to throw in the towel. I want to eat. I'm not even hungry right now, I just have a compulsion to screw myself over and eat. Ridiculous I realize, but its not about being logical. The wedding is stressful, but we did order invitations and the final bit of our centerpiece decor. Sid still has not begun building the "boxes" and book our honeymoon yet. :( I miss my family, my mother sounded strained & disinterested when I spoke with her last night. Not like herself. I then worry about all of them. As all of my family lives a good 12hr drive away. I have no outfit for my bridal shower the Sunday after next. No thank-you gifts for my hostesses. I feel frustrated about my doctors visits and I'm sure they think I"m a nut job. :) (Oh but maybe I am. hehe :D ) And I just want to eat. I want a huge scone from Starbucks and a peppermint mocha frappucino. Of which I would scarf down and feel terribly guilty about later! Yet it looks so much better and tastes so muhc better than the three hard-boiled eggs (no yolks) I had this morning. It won't solve my issues. It won't make me enjoy my job anymore than I do. So.. thanks if you've read this rant of woes. I know I couldbe much worse off right now.. but.. these are the things that make me desire to eat, scones, pizza, fattening caffiene and cream filled drinks, regular sodas etc. :D So Thanks.. and no need to "poor me" here, just.. venting my emotions. :D

Physical: my hips are throbbing, my back is ok, just tight if I stretch. Other than that, I feel awake, alert & energetic.
 
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How are you feeling today, NL? Sorry to hear your doc appnt was not the best. Hope you'll know soon what's going on though.
 
NothinToLose said:
How are you feeling today, NL? Sorry to hear your doc appnt was not the best. Hope you'll know soon what's going on though.
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Thanks NTL. :) I'm ok today.. now that I got my venting out. lol!! ;)
 
hey dana,
i understand completely. Life is so stressful and it would be so much easier to just throw in the towel, but guess what? You are SO Much stronger than that and you've come so far! It is finding outlets (like these) to vent instead of eating . (By the way, my eggs this am were less than exciting ;) as well). The doc will figure out what is going on and the weddign will be beautiful and somehow they ALWAYS manage to get taken care of and finished beautifully (somehow, someway!!!). As for your family, I understand feeling sad especially at a time they want to spend every second with you. Words of wisdom from my dad: can't worry about what MAY happen b/c it usually works out fine and you wasted time worrying...if it doesn't end up fine - you'll deal with it then, like a strong determined wonderful woman. Lastly (for now, he he), do you go talk to anybody, therapist or anybody about eating emotionally - they've been really helpful to me in the past and others that i know, so it's an option to throw out there...Hang in there!!

im not responding b/c of any 'pity party'. i believe that and you should try to! Smile. I think it's good for you!!

Sarah
 
Hey girl! Just stopping by to check on ya. Reading your above post actually makes me glad that I am not the only one that feels that way. I hope that doesn't sound bad. There are so many times that with all the stress of school (I'm sure your father has told you stories of law school) that I just feel like eating all the time even when I am not hungry. It really makes me understand why so many law students and lawyers drink! It makes me want to go outside and have a smoke sometimes and I don't even smoke and never have! You have to have an outlet somewhere, and I obviously turn to food. Then I get so stressed about losing weight and then gaining some back, that it just frustrates me so much and I want to eat more. It's a vicious cycle! I'm so glad you came here to let all of that out instead of giving in. That's what I have been trying to do too. We are all here for ya! :D
 
I agree. Its totally natural to turn to food for comfort, because food always makes us feel better, no matter what. I've found since I've started dieting and doing this forum that I'm more aware of how the extra calories will affect me, and then I can make an "educated" decision on whether to give in... Sometimes you need to be strong, but other times, giving in is ok. I think having awareness and some self-boundaries definitely helps.

I also have to say - diet is diet, but you cannot expect yourself to NEVER go to Starbucks and eat a scone and a Frappucino, that's just not possible. I think you need to be lenient enough with yourself to allow for those things to happen without doing them too often. You know, if the scone is the only thing that can help me, then I'd eat half that scone and get some yummy coffee, and then be good for the rest of the day. Write it off as your cheat day, bitch about it in your diary if it helps (I know it helps me! :) ) and get back on the wagon.
 
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I agree with everyone above... If the scone will help, eat it... if not get past it. I'm thinking that since you ate "bad" food last night, you can get past the scone today. As far as the eggs go, at least you didn't have to choke down a meal replacement shake! LOL! ;)
As for the wedding, Sid is a man, and bless his heart, they just think everything can be done the day before... maybe you should let him know that you're running out of time and it's stressing you out... BTW- Your invitations are gorgeous!
Missing the family would be hard... you still have two weeks to find an outfit for your shower and get your hostess gifts... it's all good girl. It's called STRESS and you will beat it by doing something constructive and NOT FEEDING IT!
I love ya girl, chin up. :D
 
Thanks girls.. you all have really made me smile today. I needed it! :) And I have not eaten a scone.. :) yesterday was the scone and all sorts of OTHER disasters! :) (ok so I did at least eat a salad yesterday for lunch! heh)

Anyhow.. today has improved! I apply for jobs over the weekend, that's the intent anyways. So tomorrow I'll be working on lovely cover letters. OOh joy! ;)

On the other note here.. My hips still "ache" and I am having some concerns. I'm worried if I keep working out I am going to really do some serious straining. It never hurts when I work out, but afterwards when I have to sit at work for the majority of the day, my hips ache, where I feel the need to take ibuprofuen or motrin to fade the aches.

However.. I am compeltely freaking out at the idea of taking a few days off from exercise. If I cut back significantly on my eating and "rest" over the next 3 days, I know I won't gain, but will I lose still? Will my body hit starvation mode? I dunno. I have until March 17th until I fly up for my shower. so roughly one week away! :)
 
NL, you'll loose if you eat less calories then you burn during the day even without exercise. If you eat 1200 calories, and you burn 1500 during the day, you still have 300 calorie difference that will have to come from your fat stores. You probably just won't loose as fast as with exercise. Plus, 3 days is not a very long period of time. If you were to stop exercising completely and eating over what you burn daily, only then you would gain fat over a period of time. Takes same amount of overeating consistantly, like 500 cals per day to gain 1 lb of fat. So, don't worry, you can let yourself rest. Health is the most precious thing we have, so please protect yourself from injury even at the expense of loosing slowly. Since you seem to really dislike the idea of not working out at all, you may want to figure out a workout that does not involve muscles below the waist. See if you can do upper body weights and crunches. You will feel like you've worked out, but at the same time, will rest your lower body.
Take care of yourself!
Don't forget to do a warm bath to soothe the muscles and increase circulation. You can do some gentle stretches after bath.
 
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