12packAbs Diary

Not doing well these days...

I have stopped by briefly here and there...but I haven't felt that I had much to share...I'm having a rough time over the past 6 weeks or so.

I'm fighting a bout of depression, I'm bitter and angry...not at anyone or anything in particular...just in general. Maybe I'll feel better after posting it in here.

Weight loss has gone nowhere (still at the same weight as I've been since last fall or so) but I haven't done anything recently to warrant any weight loss. I haven't been exercising very much (a couple of times a week) and my well planned meals and snacks have gone out the window. I haven't packed good food in a while and most days I end up having pizza for lunch. I feel disgusting and my self-image isn't much better. I have some beer almost everyday...mostly 1 or 2, but sometimes more. I feel like I want to retreat into a dark corner for a couple of weeks and emerge when I feel better.

I'm feeling overwhelmed and stressed...about everything. I keep hoping that any day now I'll be out of this, but I guess not just yet. The past couple of weeks have been spent (weekends mostly) building a deck and the weeks before that were planning...this should be a somewhat enjoyable thing for me, but it seems to be stressing me out. I'm very much looking forward to it being done. Having a bit of party in a couple of weeks with some friends and family, so hopefully that will raise my spirits.

I apologize if I bring anyone down after reading this.
 
12packAbs said:
I apologize if I bring anyone down after reading this.
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Not a chance. I'm however going to drag you up to somewhat better mood than you seem to be in the above post. :)
It's ok to be stressed out when you're busy. What isn't ok though is medicating that stress with pizza and beer instead of some kick ass exercise (or just nice quiet walk ;)) and something nutricious to eat. How about replacing one of today's beers with a 20 minute walk and a good food snack to your taste? Do it for me? Pretty please.. :angel:
 
Ok...just for you... :)

I did get out for a walk at lunch and took the stairs back up. I'm going to do my best to have a decent dinner (it's mostly been picking something up on the way home for the past week). I think I'll force myself to get some groceries tonight and bring good food with me tomorrow.

I may even take the night off from working on the deck and get out for a bike ride...

Thanks Juliette...
 
I feel you.

Exercise was a bit less. Excessive drinking (wine). Boyfriend troubles. Temptation. Weight gain. Feeling at the end of my rope, then back up, then down....but it's the bad living. If I was clean living I wouldn't be like this. Partying feels good at first, then all of a sudden you're burned out and feel like shit.

Hugs to you, my dear--I feel your pain!
 
12packAbs said:
Ok...just for you... :)

I did get out for a walk at lunch and took the stairs back up. I'm going to do my best to have a decent dinner (it's mostly been picking something up on the way home for the past week). I think I'll force myself to get some groceries tonight and bring good food with me tomorrow.

I may even take the night off from working on the deck and get out for a bike ride...

Thanks Juliette...
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You're welcome! :)
Looks like you have a plan! Don't forget to report back here tomorrow at the latest. I won't let you disappear this time, I tell you!
The ride sounds good. Have fun!!! :D
Julie
 
Wow, I caught you feeling glum. Thanks for writing about it . It warms my heart to see such honesty. Things can turn around quickly. I agree with Curvie Girlie. We've got to get back to clean living.

Glad I stopped by. Get outside.
 
Thanks everyone.

Today I feel a bit better. I didn't get to do anything fun last night like getting on the bike - I decided to keep working on my deck. I did have 1 beer last night...could have been worse. Today I actually had a decent breakfast - egg whites, beans and toast. Most breakfasts for the last few weeks have either been a bowl of cereal, a peanut butter & jam sandwich or sometimes nothing. I had some almonds and a banana for my morning snack and we had sandwiches for lunch at work with some desserts. I did have a few desserts - probabaly shouldn't have done that, but I'm not going to sweat it.

It's going to be a busy weekend - I'll be working on the deck both days, but it'll hopefully be finished or close to it on Sunday afternoon, so I'm excited about that.

I'm hoping to get back into the gym on Monday, but I have been saying that to myself for the past few weeks. I just need to get organized this weekend and try to get somewhat back on track.
 
I'm with Kelly - it is nice to see such honesty. It's hard to come on here when you're feeling bad, no doubt about it. But when you do, there will always be people here to pick you up and make you feel better... or to give you a good kick in the ass if you need it! So don't spend too much time away from us. I wasn't able to spend much time on the Forum for the past 2 months and it really took a toll on me. The reason being, the less I was here, the less I had to think about weight loss and fitness, so the less I was concerned. Of course, that only lead to me feeling like I wasn't accomplishing anything, which made me feel like crap! So, this is just a reminder that taking time off from eating well and working out because you're feeling down will not make you feel any better. Like Julie said, work out that frustration with a nice walk or bike ride! It really does work. :)
 
12packAbs said:
It's going to be a busy weekend - I'll be working on the deck both days, but it'll hopefully be finished or close to it on Sunday afternoon, so I'm excited about that.

I'm hoping to get back into the gym on Monday, but I have been saying that to myself for the past few weeks. I just need to get organized this weekend and try to get somewhat back on track.
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I love it when a project gets close to the finish line and is finally done. The sense of accomplishment and on the other hand the freedom when you can truly leave something behind and not have to think about it any more.
I hope you find the energy to get to the gym in those feelings. Take a new project of it.. :)
I agree totally with Sunnydee, that feeling bad and staying away from the gym, this support forum and healthy eating feed each other. But fortunately for us, it works both ways. Make yourself time and make yourself go to the gym once, then you'll much likely do it again and again. Same with eating. You don't want that bad stuff so much when you have some good foods, start to feel the difference inside, get a better conscience and feel better about working out when you have more energy for that. And coming here... I said I'm not going to let you vanish again and I MEAN IT! (There's nothing really like little bribery, blackmail and threats when bringing up children, teaching pupils and getting temporarily lost WLFers back on track. ;))
Start small and in no time it will become easiear and easier.
SO have a great time this weekend, finishing your project and maybe prepare mentally and physically for getting back on track full blast on Monday! :D
Julie
 
Thanks Julie.

I'm not making it to the gym today, but I'll go tomorrow at lunch. I'll try to get 2 workouts in the gym this week. I did actually pack my lunch today, which I haven't done in weeks, and I had a good breakfast as well. I didn't eat that well on Sunday - as I spent 12hrs working on the deck. It's not done yet, but I got a lot of work done over the weekend. It's starting to look really good. Maybe I'll post a some pictures of it afterwards - after all, it's taking a month out of my life to build it. I'll be spending every night on it again this week so that we can have people over on Saturday night. Yeehaaw! VERY much looking forward to it. At least I'm burning lost of calories working on it - I do find I get sore and tired, but it's kinda like training - I'm getting into building shape.

I have felt better over the last few days, which is nice for a change. I'm also feeling more motivated to get more exercise and eat better. So hopefully this means I'll be getting on track.
 
12packAbs said:
I just need to get organized this weekend and try to get somewhat back on track.
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It is hard to do - get back on track but oyu need to change around your thinking/wording - your not gonna try to get back on track you are going to get back on track!!!

12packAbs said:
I have felt better over the last few days, which is nice for a change. I'm also feeling more motivated to get more exercise and eat better. So hopefully this means I'll be getting on track.
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Good abt feeling better and you will get back on track !!!
 
Sounds like you're getting yourself back together! Keep up the good work!
I'm all for photos always, so I'm looking forward to seeing your big project.. And yeah, building things has its own workout built in.. (gawd, I'm bad at this today..) My dad has gone through his life having two normal weights, one when he builds a house (people and their hobbies... :rolleyes:) and the other one when he's just planning the next house. More than 20 pounds in between. I think he's a good example since he's never changed his eating habits in his life (and probably never will).
Have a nice session at the gym tomorrow! :)
Julie
 
That sounds kinda like me too - summer weight (when I'm normally extremely active biking all the time - not this year though) and winter weight.

So I decided to put of getting back to the gym until next week. Working on the deck everynight until 9:30 has me feeling pretty tired. I should be done on the weekend and then I can get back into a good routine.

I packed my lunch today - yay! Two days in a row. Large baby spinach salad and a ham sandwich on whole grain bread. Banana and almonds for one snack, and baby carrots and cottage cheese for the afternoon snack. Just a quick bowl of cereal for breakfast this morning.

I think I need to spend 30min tonight after I'm done working outside and stretch. I'm feeling fairly stiff and tight all over. I think I may also avoid any beer until the weekend (being out of stock helps).
 
I worked until after 10pm last night, but I got all the top decking done, so just a few more days with the finishing touches and its done. The end is in sight!

Except for a few ribs and a few chips I had at 11pm (all that work made me pretty hungry) I ate fairly well yesterday.

Today I had a couple of slices of white toast with margerine and jam for breakfast - not ideal, but I did pack lunch today again. I've been having a hard time getting out of bed for the last couple of weeks - all this work has left me pretty tired.
 
You packed lunch 3 days in a row! Good for you! Stretch yourself out real good after working on that deck. Building really beats you up.
Can't wait to see the pics of the new deck. You could add a couple of you working on the deck too, if you want... for us ladies. ;) :p
 
sunnydee said:
You packed lunch 3 days in a row! Good for you! Stretch yourself out real good after working on that deck. Building really beats you up.
Can't wait to see the pics of the new deck. You could add a couple of you working on the deck too, if you want... for us ladies. ;) :p
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I know!! It feels good to get back on top of things, even if it is just a little at a time. This week - packed food - next week the world! er...I mean, the gym!!

And perhaps I'll get a shot of me on the fancy new deck...that'll be my before/during pic.

I stopped by your journal and now I really want to have spaghetti and meat sauce for dinner!
 
I'm happy to hear that your lunch-packing has opened the door to you conquering the world. :p For the record, my spaghetti was fantastic! Some people seem to not eat pasta when they're trying to lose weight. I could never do that. I just eat small portions.
 
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