Random post (life and death, etc)
First, i felt that i want to change the title of my workout journal (don’t know how and couldn’t find any button). I’m not very sure if “training” sums up whatever i’m doing as i’m a beginner in lifting and working out in general. I guess i should have written “workout” journal instead. On the other hand, if i should keep the title, then it’s going to fuel more into the aspiration to do better and become better. I just don’t want to be misleading on the claim. >
Are your workout activities done with the intentional purpose of improving in some way, shape or form? If so, you're training. It doesn't matter that you're a beginner and have a lot to work on. If there is any intentionality over and above just moving your body, it's training.
Second, the name Babe Ruthless is the first name i could think of when signing up hahah. It’s not because i’m a babe or a hot chick or what. I’m honestly far from that lol.
As a 25yo red-blooded male who has seen your videos, stop lying. I know a babe when I see one.
Not even ruthless like i can pump iron more than how much i weigh (but i would love to be able to do that). It’s also the username i use in chess matches online (cos i thought it's cutesy hahah). I remember the name started upon answering the question “what’s your wrestler name?” on facebook. I see other people using that username now online as well, a whole lot of them. Regrets, i had a few. }
For whatever it's worth in coming to terms with any discrepancies you feel over your username...I'm actually not a goldfish. I don't even have scales. And every time I try breathing water I die.
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Anyway, i’ve been having thoughts of life and death lately. Moreover, those thoughts lead me to a serious pursuit of a healthier lifestyle. In my profession (field of the arts) whereas there are many distractions and vices, one can die so early. I just don’t know how i did it, perhaps i’m a good ninja (i conveniently disappear in wild partying under tight circumstances), but i’ve never ever done drugs before. Maybe some drinking here and there but still in moderation. Nothing’s more wiser than being somber when you go home alone. Never an alcoholic, too. Having a choice and sticking with that choice helped as well. I’m also kind of thankful that i’m a late bloomer and my close friends and seniors (seeing someone so young, tiny and clueless) would spare me out of the booze.
Good. Most of my creativity these days is poured into exercise programming, working through theology and philosophy, and a little bit of marketing. But I used to draw a lot, practice acting and script writing, paint, write songs and poetry, and I occasionally still tap into the most creative recesses of my mind by writing fiction or being a mega-nerd and hosting Dungeons & Dragons. In all of where I've been and where I am now, I've never so much as smoked a cigarette, although I did drink for a while there, and quit when I realised that I was in a seemingly endless cycle of binge-drinking -- best solution was to just step outside of the cycle by not drinking at all. I've seen the appeal of drug use for supposed psychedelic effects that could (in theory) open up new avenues of creativity...but the if cost is self-destruction, I've never really seen the benefits as worthy of the costs. If you're all messed up and/or dead, you're not creating a damn thing.
I’ve met some people in my circle, who weren’t present anymore. Early deaths due to drug overdose or alcohol addiction, and so on. I even know someone who is seeing a neurologist because his brain is creatively active 24/7 and he can’t sleep. I also heard people attesting to taking some "magic tablets" to boost up their creativity to paint more awesome stuff. Haven't tried it as well. And though i'm always curious of many things, i don't have any plans of trying, too. I've never gone that far experimental. I still like to be sane during the process. In some occasions, i like drinking a glass of wine or a can of light beer whilst drawing. It gives me a floaty feeling and prolly a funny dreamy look on my face staring at the easel. Bubbly, silly happy, and that's all. And speaking of death… some say they aren’t afraid of death and would rather die early. You can find glory in death, they say.
There's so much I could say about the idea of glory in death. I'll be giving you a great big sermon and pointing out what I consider to be gaping holes in other worldviews if I do, though. The short version is that there can be glory in death, but it's not going to be glory for you; and there are good reasons to forfeit your life, but again they aren't about you.
But as i grew older, i decided that i love living more. It’s not that i’m dreading the day i will die, but i want to embrace death carrying the love of life in me. Leaving my country of origin a year and a half ago to travel and try other places (currently based in another country now) bolstered my aim to be healthier than what i was years back (skinny, pale, clumsy, awkward and shy self). I want to see places i’ve never been, meet people of different culture, see it all. I want to be healthier and stronger doing it all.
I was honestly quite skeptical when a friend of mine recommended me of trying powerlifting. I don’t have any sports background (except for avidly watching football matches and running, which i can only trace a couple of years back). I had wrongly judged myself that it’s not for me and i won’t be able to do it. Until i tried and liked it. I know i still have a lot of errors that i need to correct but i’m determined to work on it. I feel happy and more confident of myself. It felt wonderful that not only i can create things with my hands, but i can also lift. I can even lift a 30kg piece sculpture and a canvas taller than me now!
My greatest sporting background before becoming a gym rat was pretending to be a Power Ranger in primary school. As a specialised personal trainer, people are usually baffled by the fact that I was never an athlete of any variety. Last year I competed in powerlifting for the first time, and that's the closest I've ever come to being an athlete. I'm not sure if I'll continue competing this year, as I've found training more enjoyable than actually competing (but I'm strange like that and love lifting for its own sake) and don't want to have to try and pee while an old guy watches me (drug testing: I'm all aboard with the idea, but not at all keen on the reality). Sounds like you're getting a lot out of lifting, so that's a big hurrah without worrying about competitions.
Once, in an exhibition, somebody asked me “you’re going to be around for a long time, right?” (there’s this joke question we often hear about inquiring if a maker of an art is still alive or dead, lol) and i remember answering in a shy “i guess so.” Now, i’m really pretty sure i’m up for it. Who knows when one will be gone from the face of the earth or what. But i’m definitely going to work out towards saying adios someday in a fine shape.
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I don’t see myself joining any lifting competitions any time soon. I’m going to make a complete hilarity of myself if i say i do. That’s going to be a big fat wiggling joke. My squats and dls are awful. But i want to try competing someday, even once! I don’t know, but i feel a sheer exuberance knowing i’m stronger, healthier, and i can lift.
