What a time machine internet can be...
I've just come across my post from 4 years ago (https://weight-loss.fitness.com/thr...is-and-pcos-is-it-possible.80724/#post-953769)...
Funny how we think things can't get worse and then they prove us wrong.
Everything I wrote in that post (Hashimoto's and PCOS) is still very much present, except that now I view PCOS as an insulin problem. Unfortunately, the good bits I mentioned (fasting, eating raw, brisk walks...) are not.
In a nutshell - I let myself go.
About a year after I had written that post, I got a sever episode, the very first one, of arthritis. It turned out to be the Ankylosing spodylitis. But my letting myself go is not to be blamed on that issue. AS made many things worse, that's true, but my head is the problem. I kind of gave up... I got tired of losing battles with weight, food... now I understand that my "losing" was a good thing since it mean that I was fighting at least... now at 147 lbs I dream of the weight I complained about 4 years ago
My main problem is still motivation. What's the point? Whatever I do, i still have facial hair, water retention, belly fat... (I know, I know... I'm just painting a picture here). And as I age, these problems are getting worse!
And it's hard to stay motivated with negative (fear of) and I kind of lost faith that I can find at least in some shape and form "my old self" or any other stronger self.
I still can't eat the healthy foods (kale, broccoli...) because I get bloated. Gluten-rich white bread never makes me bloated, but I know it's not healthy. I used to do yoga, now with AS I can't do it in a way that I used to and sometimes, whatever the people say, yoga CAN make things worse. I don't like walking outside (I know how unpopular this sounds, but I really don't like it) and to make matters worse, the AS started affecting my knees AND feet.
But, to be honest... the main problem with physical activity is also motivation. Since I can't do it properly and see results, I just feel punished doing it.
So, what am I doing writing this at 1 AM? I'm looking for support and trying to recruit one important player - me. I want to make some sort of an agreement with myself, written down... stop "floating" in time and making plans for "tomorrow".
Here's what I think:
I need to feel hungry again. So I'll start by feeling hunger for food. I eat because it's time, because I get invited, because I'm stressed or most often because I crave. I almost NEVER feel hungry. So I'll start by fasting 24h and see what happens.... I won't make plans written in stone for after that. But, I could do with some juice fasting afterwards and vegetable broths to clean my insides and my sense of taste and smell.
One important thing I need to say somewhere out loud: this food that is available to us in shops is HORRIBLE. It has no taste and I seriously doubt that it has any nutritional value. Vegetables and fruit are almost never ripe and even those that normally do not make me bloated, do. It's hard to buy directly from those who actually grow food and when you do, it's so expensive (or rather affordable in the long run for us, I absolutely believe that food producers should be fairly paid). Talking about organic is pointless. It's expensive and quality is not guaranteed nor is the fact that it is really organic. And now I know what organic tastes and feels like. In the past two years we've had a small vegetable garden. Zucchini, tomatoes, potatoes, carrots... the taste? Fireworks! You can eat zucchini as you would apple. Unfortunately it's still very small since we do not have the time to care for a bigger one, being all the time in the city and going to the countryside only on weekends.
Thank you for listening!
I've just come across my post from 4 years ago (https://weight-loss.fitness.com/thr...is-and-pcos-is-it-possible.80724/#post-953769)...
Funny how we think things can't get worse and then they prove us wrong.
Everything I wrote in that post (Hashimoto's and PCOS) is still very much present, except that now I view PCOS as an insulin problem. Unfortunately, the good bits I mentioned (fasting, eating raw, brisk walks...) are not.
In a nutshell - I let myself go.
About a year after I had written that post, I got a sever episode, the very first one, of arthritis. It turned out to be the Ankylosing spodylitis. But my letting myself go is not to be blamed on that issue. AS made many things worse, that's true, but my head is the problem. I kind of gave up... I got tired of losing battles with weight, food... now I understand that my "losing" was a good thing since it mean that I was fighting at least... now at 147 lbs I dream of the weight I complained about 4 years ago
My main problem is still motivation. What's the point? Whatever I do, i still have facial hair, water retention, belly fat... (I know, I know... I'm just painting a picture here). And as I age, these problems are getting worse!
And it's hard to stay motivated with negative (fear of) and I kind of lost faith that I can find at least in some shape and form "my old self" or any other stronger self.
I still can't eat the healthy foods (kale, broccoli...) because I get bloated. Gluten-rich white bread never makes me bloated, but I know it's not healthy. I used to do yoga, now with AS I can't do it in a way that I used to and sometimes, whatever the people say, yoga CAN make things worse. I don't like walking outside (I know how unpopular this sounds, but I really don't like it) and to make matters worse, the AS started affecting my knees AND feet.
But, to be honest... the main problem with physical activity is also motivation. Since I can't do it properly and see results, I just feel punished doing it.
So, what am I doing writing this at 1 AM? I'm looking for support and trying to recruit one important player - me. I want to make some sort of an agreement with myself, written down... stop "floating" in time and making plans for "tomorrow".
Here's what I think:
I need to feel hungry again. So I'll start by feeling hunger for food. I eat because it's time, because I get invited, because I'm stressed or most often because I crave. I almost NEVER feel hungry. So I'll start by fasting 24h and see what happens.... I won't make plans written in stone for after that. But, I could do with some juice fasting afterwards and vegetable broths to clean my insides and my sense of taste and smell.
One important thing I need to say somewhere out loud: this food that is available to us in shops is HORRIBLE. It has no taste and I seriously doubt that it has any nutritional value. Vegetables and fruit are almost never ripe and even those that normally do not make me bloated, do. It's hard to buy directly from those who actually grow food and when you do, it's so expensive (or rather affordable in the long run for us, I absolutely believe that food producers should be fairly paid). Talking about organic is pointless. It's expensive and quality is not guaranteed nor is the fact that it is really organic. And now I know what organic tastes and feels like. In the past two years we've had a small vegetable garden. Zucchini, tomatoes, potatoes, carrots... the taste? Fireworks! You can eat zucchini as you would apple. Unfortunately it's still very small since we do not have the time to care for a bigger one, being all the time in the city and going to the countryside only on weekends.
Thank you for listening!