Emily Rose: The Reboot

This one definitely put a smile on my face again :) Enjoy your day: the weekend is nigh!
 
- Oh, I know that Cate, don't worry.
- Thank you Rob, I didn't eat so badly today, so I'm trying.
- Yes it is LaMa, thank God!

I had this really horrible dream last night that I had been pretending to work from home in my previous job for 3 years but hadn't been doing any actual work and no one had even noticed. I was still on the books, haha. Then I popped into the office after not seeing anyone in years, and one guy said to me, 'You look so old.' God, it was awful. I went in to finally hand in my notice. I think it's representative how much work I actually feel I did in that place while I was there. Lol.

The day went quite well. Weird thing at the end of the day: A woman I work with who is liable to say anything out of the blue said to me that myself and WC won't be able to socially distance from each other. 'You will find it impossible not to be beside each other.' I'm paraphrasing but that was the jist. I was like, okay, where has this come out of? Anyway, I just said that we've gotten used to not being around each other now. Then I was wondering if I heard her right? Then I started thinking about WC again and I was kind of happy? that the whole thing is not in my imagination. But also, I'm not really expending too much energy on it anymore. I've accepted the way things are. I honestly don't even know if we'd work as a couple. There would be too much communal anger if we ever did get together to make it worth it, I think. At least for him anyway. And I think he loves his girlfriend, so there's also that element. I guess there is a spark there though, but since that spark can often turn into shouting matches, it's probably best left unexplored.

My body fat percentage was the lowest it's been in over a month this morning. Weight a little bit lower but still way too high. However, I will take it. I had some lamb chops with wild rice with stuff mixed in for dinner. Very tasty. I haven't had chops in ages. Trying to get more iron in.

That's all really. Played tennis against Dad, that was fun. He was impressed, haha. I must try to visit them soon.
 
My body fat percentage was the lowest it's been in over a month this morning.
That is great! How are you determining % body fat? I would like to know mine, but there doesn't seem a simple way to get a reliable number.

I used to have work related anxiety dreams, I don't think they mean a whole lot. Sounds like fun tennis with your father, good for you.
 
Hi Em
Well done on a lower fat percentage. Does your scales measure it . I would have no idea of mine .
be careful with WC . There must be a spark there if others are commenting .
 
- Thanks Tru!
- I have a Fitbit scales Rob. I don't think the body fat percentage indicator is 100% accurate but it's definitely a very good guideline.
- Yeah, I think it's okay Petal, we won't be seeing each other that much anymore with the work from home thing.

Not a bad day today, kind of took it easy in work before the madness begins again on Monday. I didn't really feel like going back to my shared house after work, so I went home instead. I watched some racing with my dad and won a 2 euro bet. Mum and I got into a minor argument about my 'flippant' attitude towards Covid. It's all good though. She thought there was oil leaking from my car last week, but when we checked it tonight, there was no sign of any oil on the ground, so that's good. I've brought that car to the garage too many times already.

My calf muscles are a bit tight and sore today. I would absolutely kill for a massage. Actually, the amazing spa in the hotel down the road is probably back open the week after next. Very exciting! They have accelerated the next phase so gyms, cinemas, leisure centres, beauticians and hairdressers are all allowed open on the 29th of June. I sent a message straight away to the beauty therapy clinic I go to. They got back half an hour later with a form for me to fill out, so I hope I can get in early and get my waxing done. It's actually a process I've come to really enjoy. I think they require you to wear a mask if you do book in, but they seem to be more readily available at the moment, and even though I don't want to wear one, I will do it.

Also, my lovely pool will be back, which I've really, really missed. I was loving it back in February and March before everything went to shit. So there's finally stuff to look forward to again!

I got an email back about the sea kayaking today so I will try to organise that when I get paid next, as I might have to bulk order the tickets. They can take a max of up to 12 people, so I might see if I can get a gang of us to go. People might be more enthusiastic about it than the last time I tried to organise it. Sometimes I think I don't really have that many friends, but as I was writing that, I was trying to figure out who I could ask to go, and I have loads of people that I can ask. That's a nice realisation to have! :)

Right, I am tired now, so will hit the hay. Hopefully my bed won't transform into actual hay while I sleep, because my nose would probably explode from the pollen if that was the case. After tennis last night, I was blocked up all night, because that stupid long grass with all the seeds pretty much surrounds the tennis court on all sides, and causes me terrible problems. I wasn't outside much today so I'm a lot less clogged up tonight. So that's something.
 
I think most work people notice electricity between other work people. You spend so much time with your work colleagues. Unless you can't live without this guy, Em I don't think he's worth the risk.
Tennis is doing you a lot of good. What a great way to see your Dad.
Well done on getting that weight going down. Let's keep this up, Em. Mine is down a bit too.
Enjoy your weekend :)
Edit: We were obviously typing at the same time.
 
Sea kayaking sounds like great fun! I'd join you even if I didn't like you :D Sucks about the pollen though; have you seen a doctor about them? Sometimes just adjusting your med schedule so peak blood levels coincide with peak pollen levels is very helpful.
 
Em I think you should get LaMa over to sea kayak with you . I will come too and watch !! Meet you for a drink after lol .
Enjoy the weekend . Feels like we are opened up again even though another week to wait
 
- Hi Cate, yeah, I'm going to keep meeting Dad once a week now to play tennis for the rest of the summer.
- I haven't seen a doctor about it LaMa, I am very reluctant to go to the doctor in general.
- I would love to go sea kayaking with LaMa and for you to join us for a drink after, Petal. Maybe not this year, but who knows what the future holds?

I've decided to start tracking again. I'm going to aim for roughly 2,000 calories per day as a starting point.

Food:
- scrambled eggs, 2 slices seeded health loaf, butter, mexicana cheese, sea salt, spinach; orange juice and coffee & whole milk (782)
- baby potatoes, broccoli, lamb chops (668)
- slice of lemon cake; tea and milk (249)
- salt and vinegar pringles; milkybar mixups; herbal tea (746)

Total: 2,445
39% carbs, 48% fat, 13% protein

Exercise:
- Tennis (1 hour, 15 min)

Weight/BF/BMI:
189.6 - 41.8% - 28.8

3 Good Things:
- I did not drink or smoke today.
- I have now made it 2 days in a row without smoking and I had very few cravings today.
- I enjoyed my tennis game (and won both sets).

I have a really nice food menu planned for tomorrow. The weather is pretty bad right now, so I'm curled up in bed and I am going to watch some Netflix for a while and try to get to sleep by 9pm. I really need some healing and rest time.
 
I would love to go sea kayaking with LaMa and for you to join us for a drink after, Petal. Maybe not this year, but who knows what the future holds?
I´ve planned to go on vacation in Ireland at least 4 times and some kind of catastrophe always prevented me from going but I´m sure I´ll make it there at some point so I might hold you to that :D
The weather is pretty bad right now, so I'm curled up in bed and I am going to watch some Netflix for a while and try to get to sleep by 9pm. I really need some healing and rest time.
Sounds like an excellent idea after getting into tennis again so quickly.
 
- Definitely LaMa! You know where to find me, :).

Food:
- porridge, raisins, banana, soya milk; glass of orange juice (648)
- coffee and milk; slice of lemon cake; regular cappuccino (286)
- chicken jalfrezi with veggies and brown rice (678)
- cadbury's caramel bar; tea and milk; peppermint tea (596)
- lemon cake with cream and viennetta; decaf coffee and milk (603)
- 2 slices chia bread and butter; blackberry and apple crumble with cream; 2 cream-filled biscuits; camomile tea (752)

Total: 3,563
55% carbs, 35% fat, 10% protein

Exercise:
- 3k run
- 20 minute walk

Weight/BF/BMI:
188.2 - 41.9% - 28.6

3 Good Things:
1. No smoking 3 days in a row!
2. Got Dad a nice t-shirt and card for Father's Day and had a pleasant evening at home.
3. Got some time to myself in the house when they went playing golf.

Very minimal cravings with the cigarettes - I'm scared. I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. My appetite is a bit out of control, but that's to be expected. I've started coughing a little bit, which is the start of the great clear out of my lungs. I want to keep going with this. Work tomorrow will be a challenge, but 3 days without feeling like I'm going to have a nervous breakdown is very encouraging.
 
Very minimal cravings with the cigarettes - I'm scared. I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.
That's how I usually feel when I'm doing well on food and it all seems easy - and then the paranoia starts stressing me so much that I crash. Try to relax and be proud of what you've already done.
 
- Thanks LaMa, I'll try.
- Well, it was the big version Petal! :) I survived the week, that's all I say.
- It hasn't, I've been on and off them all week Cate, but I will keep trying.

I'm watching The Good Place on Netflix at the moment, what a show. Anyway, sometimes I write my '3 Good Things' here, but that's usually about factors external to myself - 'I got a compliment on my outfit' - ding, happened today - 'I won some money' - unfortunately, that did not happen today, and so on and so forth.

Anyway, maybe some ideas are forming because of watching the show, but I thought it would be better if I document 3 Good Things that I do to make my life or the lives of the people around me better. Me getting a compliment is great, but it's not me taking an action to improve my situation. It was just a byproduct of an arbitrary purchase I made months ago. And luckily, the dress still fits, haha. But anyway.

An example -

My 3 good things for today:
1. I realised that the mess in my car has gone out of control so I got a plastic bag and picked up all the rubbish and put it in the bin. I still have a lot of crap in my car, but it's a starting point. (Good thing - my car is now a nicer place to be in.)
2. I gave a colleague a lift at lunchtime so that they could pick up their car. (Good thing - I helped someone out. We also did not take my car, so they did not have to deal with the mess I mentioned in point 1. A bonus good thing.)
3. I met my dad for a tennis game. (Good thing - exercised and got fresh air which raised my endorphin levels and my vitamin D intake. I also got to spend a bit of time with my dad, which I know he values. (As do I! Ha.))

Anyway, that's just the idea of it. I'm going to try to take small actions every day and try to build a really good life for myself.

Week went okay, very bad food-wise, some tennis but not enough exercise overall, it's nearly the weekend though, and I will have time to regroup and get more organised for next week. I've realised that being organised is the key to success when it comes to eating healthily and finding time to exercise and cook and do all the things you need to do that sometimes overwhelm me. So I need to carve out a chunk of time over the next few days to really focus on this. I sometimes find having a busier schedule helps and my life has started to pick up again. I'm appreciating the stuff that I couldn't do during lockdown so much more.
 
I hope most people appreciate life more when all this is over. I like the idea of focussing on the good things. I have a diary of good things, that lives in our bedroom. An engraved sterling silver pen, that my sister gave me for my 21 st birthday sits on top of it.
 
I like the focus on agency (and the positivity, of course). I am now curious whose car you stole to give your colleague a cleaner lift :p
 
I like the focus on agency (and the positivity, of course). I am now curious whose car you stole to give your colleague a cleaner lift :p
Me too LaMa lol.
Sounds like your week was average enough Em . They are going so so fast
 
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