Oh, I'm so sorry about the row - and such an unimportant issue, too. Sure, you want to show respect to the wedding - but you were wearing a nice dress, just not a fussbudgetty one - and the one big thing NOT to do at a wedding is to outshine the bride. I hope very much that things get calmer and more supportive around you.
Emily Rose: The Reboot
- Thread starter Emilyrose
- Start date
- No, they didn't LaMa.
- Thanks Cate.
- Thanks Amy.
I talked to Mum tonight. There were many tears and some harsh statements, but I feel better now and we sorted it out. I can understand how infuriating I am to be around sometimes. I know she tries her absolute best. I could probably try a bit harder, so that is one of my New Year's resolutions. I don't want to upset her. I honestly didn't think it really mattered what bag I brought to the wedding, but I guess if that kind of thing matters to her, I should take it into consideration. Anyway, lesson learned, I have another cousin getting married next December, I will go ALL OUT for that one. Haha. Diamonds hanging off me, fake lashes, full tan, the lot. Lol.
Me next year:
This will be my pose in every photo.
I have one other horrible showdown conversation to have this week, or maybe I won't even have it. I am worried about going back to work, because I left things in a very bad place. Even similar shit that I have going on with my mum - miscommunication, stubbornness, bottling things and then exploding... The parallels are massive. So, I guess I have to decide how I am going to diffuse the situation. Maybe the fight with my mum needed to happen, as I am just worn out and I don't want another one.
I am chilling for the evening, did 50 laps in the pool this evening and did the same yesterday, so I feel I am doing my bit to combat the Christmas excess. My weight was in the 180s today, not happy. But my body fat was down a bit, so I'll keep battling on. I'm meeting SG tomorrow, then potentially going to this really cool Moulin Rouge-type party on New Year's Eve. Not sure. I always hate waking up hungover on New Year's Day, but I also miss seeing my friends. I potentially will bring SG as well. I don't know. We'll see how tomorrow goes.
This could be me on Tuesday night:
- Thanks Cate.
- Thanks Amy.
I talked to Mum tonight. There were many tears and some harsh statements, but I feel better now and we sorted it out. I can understand how infuriating I am to be around sometimes. I know she tries her absolute best. I could probably try a bit harder, so that is one of my New Year's resolutions. I don't want to upset her. I honestly didn't think it really mattered what bag I brought to the wedding, but I guess if that kind of thing matters to her, I should take it into consideration. Anyway, lesson learned, I have another cousin getting married next December, I will go ALL OUT for that one. Haha. Diamonds hanging off me, fake lashes, full tan, the lot. Lol.
Me next year:
This will be my pose in every photo.
I have one other horrible showdown conversation to have this week, or maybe I won't even have it. I am worried about going back to work, because I left things in a very bad place. Even similar shit that I have going on with my mum - miscommunication, stubbornness, bottling things and then exploding... The parallels are massive. So, I guess I have to decide how I am going to diffuse the situation. Maybe the fight with my mum needed to happen, as I am just worn out and I don't want another one.
I am chilling for the evening, did 50 laps in the pool this evening and did the same yesterday, so I feel I am doing my bit to combat the Christmas excess. My weight was in the 180s today, not happy. But my body fat was down a bit, so I'll keep battling on. I'm meeting SG tomorrow, then potentially going to this really cool Moulin Rouge-type party on New Year's Eve. Not sure. I always hate waking up hungover on New Year's Day, but I also miss seeing my friends. I potentially will bring SG as well. I don't know. We'll see how tomorrow goes.
This could be me on Tuesday night:
alligatorob
Respected Member
Couldn't agree more. I do often send gifts, but I rarely actually attend a wedding. The last wedding I did not attend we gave the couple some money to help with their honeymoon, and hopefully saved them some by not consuming food and drink.
For most young people its a time to kick start their life together, giving them cash, gifts, and support seems a much better idea than having the families spend a bunch of money on a big party. My wife and I got married by Reverend Bob in his Reno wedding chapel for about $50, all included, licence, and 10 minutes of Reverend Bob's time before his next wedding. For a price we could have gotten guests (actors), but we opted for the low end simple. It all worked out fine. In Las Vegas they have a drive up wedding chapel (The World Famous Drive Thru Tunnel of Love Ceremony ).
Petal001
New member
Em I hate weddings in Ireland the pressure is huge to look fantastic . I admire that you wore what you were comfortable in and looked good in.
Ah all the cousins weddings , I remember that well. We will be into cousins kids next I reckon but I hope they realise they do not need to invite the older generation now and keep the weddings small.
Not sure how you will approach work. Are you back on Thursday?
I'm sure you and your mum will be ok. My daughter and I had a barney on Saturday morning but luckily I was going away for the day and gave us both a chance to chill.
Enjoy the party tomorrow I will be tucked up in bed asleep I hope.
Ah all the cousins weddings , I remember that well. We will be into cousins kids next I reckon but I hope they realise they do not need to invite the older generation now and keep the weddings small.
Not sure how you will approach work. Are you back on Thursday?
I'm sure you and your mum will be ok. My daughter and I had a barney on Saturday morning but luckily I was going away for the day and gave us both a chance to chill.
Enjoy the party tomorrow I will be tucked up in bed asleep I hope.
Chilling out by swimming 50 laps sounds a really good thing to do. I'm sorry about the tensions at work - maybe you can just all ignore the past explosion and hit the restart button?
A Moulin Rouge spectacular sounds fun (though pricey? "returns are fixed at ten per cent"). Hope you have an absolutely fantastic time, and look amazing, and end with no hangover!
A Moulin Rouge spectacular sounds fun (though pricey? "returns are fixed at ten per cent"). Hope you have an absolutely fantastic time, and look amazing, and end with no hangover!
- The big party is so important here Rob. People nearly feel personally insulted if you don't do the big party. It's a lot of pressure and a lot of money.
- Haha, I hope she is too Cate!
- The pre-party sounds really fun LaMa.
- That kind of makes me feel better that you also had a fight with your daughter Petal! Isn't that terrible? Anyway, it's being around each other way more than normal that does it.
- Thanks Amy, but I have decided to forego the celebrations for this year. I'm a bit sad about that, but I will feel better tomorrow.
Well. The last day of the year. I feel a bit gloomy, I have to admit. I kind of do feel like going out and getting pissed, but at the same time, I also want to feel fresh and energised tomorrow morning, which just won't happen if I go out. But I hate missing out on things.
I think overall, I had a very good 2019. I won some money, got a promotion, started seeing a guy, directed my first play, and lots of other small things throughout the year.
The sad thing is that 2019 was not the year of health and wellness that I wanted it to be. My weight is too high, my body fat is too high, I continued to smoke, I continued to drink excessively, and my diet overall was very bad. I am lucky I have good genetics. But I am also getting older, and I really need to grow up and get this part of my life under control. I don't like feeling under pressure to do this, but I can't keep putting it off.
The plan for 2020 is to eat as healthily as I can, do one exercise thing per day, and stop smoking entirely. As for alcohol, I am going to try to stay off it until my body fat and BMI are back in the healthy range. Which could take a while. I don't know how long it will take me actually.
I'm not really excited about making these changes - I love smoking, drinking, staying out late, eating out, socialising - they are a huge part of who I am. The body is so amazing that it has adapted to allow me to do all of those things and still be able to function relatively well the next day. However, the price to pay is that my body fat is very high in order to be able to cope with all of the excess, and I don't look the way I want to look. So some sacrifices have to be made.
I really am going to take it one day at a time - if I feel like I am going to have a meltdown due to not going out, then I will have to reassess everything. But for tomorrow, I have no excuse.
Day 1 2020 - the plan is to go for a run and eat well. Not too bad. I will report back tomorrow.
- Haha, I hope she is too Cate!
- The pre-party sounds really fun LaMa.
- That kind of makes me feel better that you also had a fight with your daughter Petal! Isn't that terrible? Anyway, it's being around each other way more than normal that does it.
- Thanks Amy, but I have decided to forego the celebrations for this year. I'm a bit sad about that, but I will feel better tomorrow.
Well. The last day of the year. I feel a bit gloomy, I have to admit. I kind of do feel like going out and getting pissed, but at the same time, I also want to feel fresh and energised tomorrow morning, which just won't happen if I go out. But I hate missing out on things.
I think overall, I had a very good 2019. I won some money, got a promotion, started seeing a guy, directed my first play, and lots of other small things throughout the year.
The sad thing is that 2019 was not the year of health and wellness that I wanted it to be. My weight is too high, my body fat is too high, I continued to smoke, I continued to drink excessively, and my diet overall was very bad. I am lucky I have good genetics. But I am also getting older, and I really need to grow up and get this part of my life under control. I don't like feeling under pressure to do this, but I can't keep putting it off.
The plan for 2020 is to eat as healthily as I can, do one exercise thing per day, and stop smoking entirely. As for alcohol, I am going to try to stay off it until my body fat and BMI are back in the healthy range. Which could take a while. I don't know how long it will take me actually.
I'm not really excited about making these changes - I love smoking, drinking, staying out late, eating out, socialising - they are a huge part of who I am. The body is so amazing that it has adapted to allow me to do all of those things and still be able to function relatively well the next day. However, the price to pay is that my body fat is very high in order to be able to cope with all of the excess, and I don't look the way I want to look. So some sacrifices have to be made.
I really am going to take it one day at a time - if I feel like I am going to have a meltdown due to not going out, then I will have to reassess everything. But for tomorrow, I have no excuse.
Day 1 2020 - the plan is to go for a run and eat well. Not too bad. I will report back tomorrow.
alligatorob
Respected Member
Ha! You are right of course, but it seems funny to me coming from you, such a young woman by my standards. I guess I felt that way most of my life.
Except for the smoking I could have said the same, and you are wise to be thinking about this. Now that I have given up overeating and 90% of my drinking I feel a different person, and feel a bit of a hole that I don't know how to fill. Its a part of change, but it will be a change for the better.
I wish I had been able to make changes when I was your age, my life would have been healthier and possibly happier. You are very smart to be thinking about this now. Best of luck with your 2020 and beyond!
- Thanks Cate. You're right, I've rethought the whole plan.
- Thanks LaMa, I hope so.
- I want it to be Petal!
- Thanks for your lovely post Rob. It is so thoughtful and encouraging for me to read that.
So, I had a rethink today and I realised that I can't possibly focus on quitting smoking and losing weight at the same time. And for me, losing weight is more important right now. I have seen some frightening photos of myself and I have passed the point of pudgy into overweight and unhealthy looking. It's so frustrating. But that's the way it is. And if I try to stop smoking, I will want to eat more to make up for it. So, I've decided to forget about quitting smoking until I am back to a healthy BMI and healthy body fat percentage again. Then I'll have that 'safety net' that Amy always talks about that will allow me to gain a little bit of weight again if needed when I tackle giving up the nicotine. I know it won't be easy, but I think I read somewhere that most people give up on their resolutions because they try to do too much at once. So, for me, getting my weight down is the main thing. I can work on the 'perfect body' after I have given up the cigs. Everything in stages.
Right, So, my 'rules' for 2020 are as follows:
1) One exercise thing per day. I will try to make this out of the home, but if I am stuck for time, home workouts are okay too, but not favoured.
2) No alcohol either on my own or when I have work the next day. This is a big one, and will really help with the weight loss also.
3) Write a report here every day of my stats, food, exercise, and notes on the day. Exceptions only when I am not staying in my own house for the night. I also have my goal weight and goal body fat to be healthy again noted down, so I can watch my progress. I am going to be honest, even if it is painful. That is the whole point of this diary and website. I'm also going to track the cigarettes, because even though I am not actively trying to stop right now, I still want to have an idea of my daily and weekly intake, and might work on reducing it as I go along.
That's it. I'm not going to make rules around food or anything else, just those 3 rules. I need to make this as easy for myself as I can. Obviously, I am going to do my best to implement other changes that will help with losing the weight - lunchtime walk, bring my lunch to work, cut down on chocolate, etc. But these are things I know I will struggle to do every day, whereas the rules above should be easy enough to follow.
So, here we go... roll on 2020!
DAY 1 - WEDNESDAY 1ST JANUARY 2020 - BACK TO DAY 1
Weight: 180.2 (16.2 pounds to go)
Goal weight: 164
Body fat: 41.9% (11.9% to go)
Goal body fat: 30%
BMI: 27.4 (2.5 to go)
Goal BMI: 24.9
Food:
3 Good Things:
- Bumped into an old friend Angela today. Will go and visit her and her new baby in a week or two. I hadn't seen her in ages, it was nice to catch up.
- My friend Jim texted me to wish me 'Happy New Year'. We always have great chats when we go out. I must arrange a night out between us in a few weeks.
- I enjoyed watching the 'Derry Girls' on The Great British Bake Off this evening with Mum and Dad.
Anything else?:
I think we've found the next play for the group. I am very excited about it.
- Thanks LaMa, I hope so.
- I want it to be Petal!
- Thanks for your lovely post Rob. It is so thoughtful and encouraging for me to read that.
So, I had a rethink today and I realised that I can't possibly focus on quitting smoking and losing weight at the same time. And for me, losing weight is more important right now. I have seen some frightening photos of myself and I have passed the point of pudgy into overweight and unhealthy looking. It's so frustrating. But that's the way it is. And if I try to stop smoking, I will want to eat more to make up for it. So, I've decided to forget about quitting smoking until I am back to a healthy BMI and healthy body fat percentage again. Then I'll have that 'safety net' that Amy always talks about that will allow me to gain a little bit of weight again if needed when I tackle giving up the nicotine. I know it won't be easy, but I think I read somewhere that most people give up on their resolutions because they try to do too much at once. So, for me, getting my weight down is the main thing. I can work on the 'perfect body' after I have given up the cigs. Everything in stages.
Right, So, my 'rules' for 2020 are as follows:
1) One exercise thing per day. I will try to make this out of the home, but if I am stuck for time, home workouts are okay too, but not favoured.
2) No alcohol either on my own or when I have work the next day. This is a big one, and will really help with the weight loss also.
3) Write a report here every day of my stats, food, exercise, and notes on the day. Exceptions only when I am not staying in my own house for the night. I also have my goal weight and goal body fat to be healthy again noted down, so I can watch my progress. I am going to be honest, even if it is painful. That is the whole point of this diary and website. I'm also going to track the cigarettes, because even though I am not actively trying to stop right now, I still want to have an idea of my daily and weekly intake, and might work on reducing it as I go along.
That's it. I'm not going to make rules around food or anything else, just those 3 rules. I need to make this as easy for myself as I can. Obviously, I am going to do my best to implement other changes that will help with losing the weight - lunchtime walk, bring my lunch to work, cut down on chocolate, etc. But these are things I know I will struggle to do every day, whereas the rules above should be easy enough to follow.
So, here we go... roll on 2020!
DAY 1 - WEDNESDAY 1ST JANUARY 2020 - BACK TO DAY 1
Weight: 180.2 (16.2 pounds to go)
Goal weight: 164
Body fat: 41.9% (11.9% to go)
Goal body fat: 30%
BMI: 27.4 (2.5 to go)
Goal BMI: 24.9
Food:
- 2 weetabix, cornflakes, granola, whole milk
- 1 slice brown soda bread with butter and marmalade
- instant coffee and whole milk
- 3 mint tea
- americano with milk
- carrot cake and cream
- vegetable lasagna, relish, coleslaw, oven chips, and salad of courgette, baby tomatoes, rocket and yellow peppers
- 2 bounty sweets, 2 snickers sweets, 1 dark choc lindor
- cup of night tea and cup of peppermint tea
- digestive biscuit
- 50 laps pool
- 20 minute Bedtime Yoga Practice | Hip Opening
3 Good Things:
- Bumped into an old friend Angela today. Will go and visit her and her new baby in a week or two. I hadn't seen her in ages, it was nice to catch up.
- My friend Jim texted me to wish me 'Happy New Year'. We always have great chats when we go out. I must arrange a night out between us in a few weeks.
- I enjoyed watching the 'Derry Girls' on The Great British Bake Off this evening with Mum and Dad.
Anything else?:
I think we've found the next play for the group. I am very excited about it.
Good for you, Emily!! Even just the alcohol change will probably put a dent in your weight surplus. And absolutely, re:
I do think keeping track helps - and I look forward to seeing you slip down out of the 180s in the very near future, and then on down, down, down to the 160s.
Keeping track of the smokes is also a good idea - just so you know where you are.
I love your four good things! (I must see if I can find the Derry Girls GBBO on Youtube.) Yay for a bit of time out with Angela and with Jim!
And double yay for finding a possible next play for the group!
We are doing this to be good to ourselves, not to be punitive - it's a way of valuing ourselves, treating ourselves to the best possible life.
I do think keeping track helps - and I look forward to seeing you slip down out of the 180s in the very near future, and then on down, down, down to the 160s.
Keeping track of the smokes is also a good idea - just so you know where you are.I love your four good things! (I must see if I can find the Derry Girls GBBO on Youtube.) Yay for a bit of time out with Angela and with Jim!
And double yay for finding a possible next play for the group!
Angela and Jim sound like a sitcom couple. I could see them both being friends with you and not knowing you know the other. And they both keep telling you about their couple shenanigans but their perpectives are so different you don't notice they're the same happenings.
Also: great resolutions!
Also: great resolutions!
alligatorob
Respected Member
Hey Emily, I like your plan, well thought out and quite reasonable. I am looking forward to reading about your progress.
I like weetabix, but have not had it in years, its hard to find here. You reminded me of its existence, so I ordered some from Amazon, if I like it as well as I remember I will have to see if I can find a local source. Its one of the rare no sugar (or very little) added breakfast cereals that I like.
- Thanks Amy. I've only seen one episode of Derry Girls, but it was a fun GBBO episode.
- Thanks LaMa. They are both characters in The US Office, so you're not wrong!
- Thanks Petal, work was actually fine.
- Yeah, weetabix is one of the best breakfast cereals you can have Rob. I try to stick to porridge, but sometimes I just don't have the time to cook it. Let me know what you think!
DAY 2 - THURSDAY 2ND JANUARY 2020 - THE BOTTOMLESS CELEBRATIONS TIN
Weight: 179.9 (0.3 pounds lost - 15.9 pounds to go)
Goal weight: 164
Body fat: 41.8% (0.1% lost - 11.8% to go)
Goal body fat: 30%
BMI: 27.4 (2.5 to go)
Goal BMI: 24.9
Food:
3 Good Things:
- My friend Caroline texted me to wish me Happy New Year. I am going to plan a trip to see her next month.
- Work was enjoyable enough.
- One of the girls in work was encouraging me to read Allen Carr's Easy Way to Stop Smoking, cos she heard on the radio that it was really good. I thought it was sweet that she thought of me and was trying to help. Lol. I feel a sense of relief that I am not trying to quit right now though. It feels like the pressure is off a bit.
Anything else?:
Not really. Tomorrow's Friday again! Looking forward to my weekend, haha. There's never enough holiday time!
- Thanks LaMa. They are both characters in The US Office, so you're not wrong!
- Thanks Petal, work was actually fine.
- Yeah, weetabix is one of the best breakfast cereals you can have Rob. I try to stick to porridge, but sometimes I just don't have the time to cook it. Let me know what you think!
DAY 2 - THURSDAY 2ND JANUARY 2020 - THE BOTTOMLESS CELEBRATIONS TIN
Weight: 179.9 (0.3 pounds lost - 15.9 pounds to go)
Goal weight: 164
Body fat: 41.8% (0.1% lost - 11.8% to go)
Goal body fat: 30%
BMI: 27.4 (2.5 to go)
Goal BMI: 24.9
Food:
- porridge, blueberries, flaxseed, whole milk
- glass of orange juice and cod liver oil tablet
- 2 cups of coffee and milk; 1 cup of tea and milk; elderberry and echinacea tea
- apple
- salad of quinoa, tuna, cherry tomatoes, spinach, celery, cucumber and coleslaw
- packet of Manhattan cheese and onion crisps
- 3 tangfastic jellies and 1 milky way chocolate
- white coffee and ham and cheese croissant
- sirloin steak, mushroom and onion gravy, fried onions, boiled potato, veg mix of butternut squash, parsnip, green beans and carrot
- 1 dark choc lindor, 2 bounty chocolates, 1 piece of chocolate stollen
- tea and milk
- 50 laps pool
3 Good Things:
- My friend Caroline texted me to wish me Happy New Year. I am going to plan a trip to see her next month.
- Work was enjoyable enough.
- One of the girls in work was encouraging me to read Allen Carr's Easy Way to Stop Smoking, cos she heard on the radio that it was really good. I thought it was sweet that she thought of me and was trying to help. Lol. I feel a sense of relief that I am not trying to quit right now though. It feels like the pressure is off a bit.
Anything else?:
Not really. Tomorrow's Friday again! Looking forward to my weekend, haha. There's never enough holiday time!
I'd drink to that if I hadn't brushed my teeth already! Is the sixth a holiday for you?Tomorrow's Friday again! Looking forward to my weekend, haha. There's never enough holiday time!
Cate
Long term member
Hi, Em. Taking that pressure off making too many changes at once, might work well for you. I think you'll find that one day you'll just give up smoking. No amount of nagging worked for me. One day I just woke up & decided to stop & that was it.
What do you have planned for the weekend?
What do you have planned for the weekend?