ChefChiTown's Rebirth: I'm Back, BABY!!! (In More Ways Than One)...

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jen_renee said:
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NO.. it is NOT! It was 1am. I was tired! Leave me alone! haha!
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I've been running three days in a row now and I can already tell a difference in my body. My legs aren't as tired when I'm running and I can breathe a little easier. I've been running the same path (the same distance) for the past three days and I've already taken two-and-a-half minutes off of my time since Monday. My time is still slow, but it's nice to see a quick improvement. However, it is COLD here and it's sooooo hard to run outside at the moment. But, I'm not giving up. I'm going to push through this. If my friend, Quercus can do it for 500-something days in a row, I think I can run in some cold weather for a few weeks. Yes, Quirky - I'm using you as inspiration (keep your girlish squeals of joy to yourself).

Anyway, I can't wait until my running gear gets here. My calves are on fire and I'm really hoping the compression sleeves will help with that.

LaMaria said:
On close inspection I say it's a very low-hanging ballsack. Or a two-headed penis.
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HAHAHAHA, it does look like a low-hanging man bag.
 
Omigosh, I needed to laugh so badly.. Thanks Chef and everyone! :seeya:Kinda hurts to laugh right now, but thankful! :rotflmao:

So happy you are enjoying your runs and seeing progress so quickly! *High Five*
 
I haven't weighed myself in a while and I'm up about four pounds from the last time I weighed myself. I'm not going to beat myself up over it though. I had a bad week last week. What's done is done. This week has been decent though. Not great, but decent. So, instead of fretting over last week's step backward I am just focusing on this week's step forward. Those four pounds will come off so I'm not worried about it.

Anyway, Jen and I are starting a reward system on Monday where we set a weekly goal for ourselves and, as long as we reach our goal (with no exceptions), we will reward each other with something. I'm not exactly sure what I'll be picking as my rewards, but I'll go easy on her - maybe - I'll think about it, HAHAHA.
 
The more journals I look through the more conversations about diarrhea I see. If I was new here I would almost think that people were trying to sell me on some sort of new diarrhea weight loss fad.

Hey, kids!!! Want to lose weight? Want to lose weight FAST? Then say no more!!! Introducing the DiarrYEAH!!! diet, the world's fastest and most effective weight loss method. How does it work? It's EASY!!! Just do whatever you can to give yourself a horrid case of diarrhea and, within mere days, see the pounds wash away...mostly down the toilet!!!

Leave a raw chicken breast on the counter overnight and eat it for dinner the next day!!! DiarrYEAH!!!
Dig through the garbage and eat whatever you find at the bottom!!! DiarrYEAH!!!
Use your cat's litter as toothpaste!!! DiarrYEAH!!!
Watch the sex tape your parents are secretly keeping in the bottom drawer of your dad's dresser!!! DiarrYEAH!!!
Whatever it takes!!! DiarrYEAH!!!

Once you get on board and give yourself DiarrYEAH!!!, all you have to do is sit back and feel the burn. Literally!!! Your butthole will be on FIRE!!!

Anyway, you get the point - everyone has the shits right now.
 
Hmmm. Now if I could only send you a dose via the internet I would! You don't want it chef! Plus- I haven't lost any weight :(
 
ChefChiTown said:
The more journals I look through the more conversations about diarrhea I see. If I was new here I would almost think that people were trying to sell me on some sort of new diarrhea weight loss fad.

Hey, kids!!! Want to lose weight? Want to lose weight FAST? Then say no more!!! Introducing the DiarrYEAH!!! diet, the world's fastest and most effective weight loss method. How does it work? It's EASY!!! Just do whatever you can to give yourself a horrid case of diarrhea and, within mere days, see the pounds wash away...mostly down the toilet!!!

Leave a raw chicken breast on the counter overnight and eat it for dinner the next day!!! DiarrYEAH!!!
Dig through the garbage and eat whatever you find at the bottom!!! DiarrYEAH!!!
Use your cat's litter as toothpaste!!! DiarrYEAH!!!
Watch the sex tape your parents are secretly keeping in the bottom drawer of your dad's dresser!!! DiarrYEAH!!!
Whatever it takes!!! DiarrYEAH!!!

Once you get on board and give yourself DiarrYEAH!!!, all you have to do is sit back and feel the burn. Literally!!! Your butthole will be on FIRE!!!

Anyway, you get the point - everyone has the shits right now.
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OMG I have tears in my eyes!!!!! LOLOL

I do not have the shits, but you make it sound so appealing to get them!
LMFAO
 
My new stuff arrived!!! Everything is just as I wanted - well, except my jacket - it was a tad smaller than I was hoping. I bought it hoping it would be a little snug, that way I could use 'fitting into my cool new jacket' as motivation to lose weight, but it's snug - like SNUG. I can't even zip the stupid thing. But, all the more motivation.

Anyway, I'm super pumped for Monday so I can start running while wearing my cool new shit!!! Oh wait, what's that? There's a HUGE STORM coming this week? And, it's supposed to dump a possible 20-INCHES of snow on us? So, what you're saying is that I WON'T be able to wear my super cool new shit because I won't be able to run outside for a while? Well, you know what, Mother Nature? You know what you can do? You can eat a dick. Eat a big...fat...DICK.

This is me, hearing the news about the God damned storm...
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cate said:
Hmmm. Now if I could only send you a dose via the internet I would! You don't want it chef! Plus- I haven't lost any weight :(
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No thanks, I'll pass. I'm going to start drinking homemade juices on Monday so I'm sure I'll have no trouble 'going,' if you know what I mean. The last time I 'juiced' I was like a human smoothie machine...only the flavors I was making were NOT very tempting.

DynamicRange said:
OMG I have tears in my eyes!!!!! LOLOL

I do not have the shits, but you make it sound so appealing to get them!
LMFAO
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HAHAHA, glad I could help.
 
I seriously would not have wished it on anyone! Bugger the storm & the snow chef. How dare it? You have Spring to look forward to & you will get plenty of opportunities. It's still a bugger though :(
 
For those who don't know, I work at an assisted living building which is home to many elderly men and women. For the record, NO...we don't serve pre-made frozen shit that comes in trays - we make mostly all homemade food from scratch. Anyway, I get to interact with a lot of the people who live in our building and sometimes funny things happen. For instance...

A man today ordered meatloaf for lunch and hilarity ensued. I receive his ticket in the kitchen which says:

Meatloaf
- Beef Gravy
Corn
- Butter

The way the ticket reads is that he wants meatloaf w/ beef gravy on it and a side of buttered corn. So, that's exactly what I made for him. We were super busy today and the community assistants needed some help in the dining room so when I got that man's order ready I delivered it to him myself. I walk out into the dining room and approach his table. I set his meal in front of him...

Me: Here's your order, (his name). Enjoy!

He stares at his plate like this...

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Him: Umm, what is THAT?
Me: Your meatloaf.
Him: Don't you know I want my gravy on the SIDE? WHY IS IT ON MY MEATLOAF?!?!?!
Me: I'm sorry, (his name). Your ticket didn't say anything about you wanting it on the side. I'll go fix you another meatloaf though. Be right back.

Before I could even turn to head back to the kitchen so I could fix his order he stops me.

Him: Don't bother. Just take that meatloaf and shove it up your butthole.

I had NO idea how to respond to that. I've never had a 90-year old man tell me to shove anything up my butthole before, let alone a meatloaf, so I had no clue what to say. So, I just kind of stood there while everyone at his table looked shocked and all I could muster was...

Me: Umm...ok.

So, that was my day. A elderly man told me to penetrate myself with a loaf of beef. With gravy on it.
 
At least it had gravy for lube.;) Also....that's what I'm going to tell you from now on when you piss me off... Just very calmly.... "You can take that and shove it up your butthole." haha!
 
My nephew is a Chef and does the same thing. :) He is very happy there.
We sure don't see him much any more and miss him, but he loves what he does.
 
Ah... the joy of losing inhibitions... Sometimes I´m not sure if it´s because of underlying illnesses or because people have figured out that at a certain age they can actually say what they want. I hope it came out again without too much friction.
 
At least the meatloaf came pre-lubed with gravy. Could be worse. :p

Great job with the running. Isn't it great to see how quickly your body can get used to exercise? Keept it up. :D
 
jen_renee said:
At least it had gravy for lube.;) Also....that's what I'm going to tell you from now on when you piss me off... Just very calmly.... "You can take that and shove it up your butthole." haha!
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Then I'm going to tell you the same thing. Only I won't be mad when I say it. I'll also be naked. And, lying sexually on the bed like this, pointing at my weiner when I say "that."

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StacyH said:
My nephew is a Chef and does the same thing. :) He is very happy there.
We sure don't see him much any more and miss him, but he loves what he does.
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He puts meatloaf in his butthole? What an odd profession.

LaMaria said:
Ah... the joy of losing inhibitions... Sometimes I´m not sure if it´s because of underlying illnesses or because people have figured out that at a certain age they can actually say what they want. I hope it came out again without too much friction.
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Oh, you should hear some of the stuff people say and do. I think my favorite thing ever was when one of the elderly women attempted masturbating with the heel of her foot and got it stuck inside of her...you know. One of the community assistants walked in on her and she was on the bed, cross-legged, rocking back and forth on her heel. And, well...it got stuck, so the community assistant had to help her get it free, HAHAHA.

-Cory- said:
At least the meatloaf came pre-lubed with gravy. Could be worse. :p

Great job with the running. Isn't it great to see how quickly your body can get used to exercise? Keept it up. :D
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That is my lube of choice. I figure if we're going to spice things up in the bedroom it might as well taste good, you know?
 
ChefChiTown said:
Oh, you should hear some of the stuff people say and do. I think my favorite thing ever was when one of the elderly women attempted masturbating with the heel of her foot and got it stuck inside of her...you know. One of the community assistants walked in on her and she was on the bed, cross-legged, rocking back and forth on her heel. And, well...it got stuck, so the community assistant had to help her get it free, HAHAHA.
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What? WOW. That is TOO funny!
 
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