Word (Dirty Desert Ways in the City of Angels)

protectiva

protectiva

New member
Ok, so I did not feel like going back and digging through everything to find my journal, because it's been a while...

But anyway, I currently weigh 159.75 pounds, which is a 6.25 pound loss since I started in mid-January. I went up and down a between then and now, but I am happy to be in the 150s (even if it's just barely)...

I have started using the fitday website religiously, and I have been buying my food at the store instead of eating out, like I usually do. Also, I have been walking to and from work, which is about 45 minutes altogehter--not too bad!!!

I plan my meals out with fitday usually at the beginning of each day, sometimes I will modify something here or there, but it's a very useful tool. I will weigh myself again today, as I haven't done that in 2 days, and the scale should have good news for me. I have been very good since I last weighed myself.

Also, things have been going well in other areas; I have been going out more, attending parties, calling friends more, and it is great. I am going to a party tomorrow with this guy I really like (woo hoo)

 
oooh have a good time :)

and welcome to your new diary :)

If you wanted to find your old diary - if you do an advanced search - in the diary section on threads started by you - it will appear (and it's way less complicated to do than that sounded) :D
 
a clean slate. good for you! hope this one works for you - good on you for upping your social life :) hope you have a nice time out with that guy
well done for starting to walk to work! i bet you feel so good compared to the others in their cars
 
I do feel great walking over being in a car because I am immune to traffic when I walk--it's great! And it helps maintain my tan lol


Well, now, I weigh 158.33 pounds. I have been doing a lot of research on basal metabolic rate and how to raise it. I was up until like 4:00am this morning studying the matter. It is all very interesting. One of the most interesting things that I learned is that being "active" doesn't necessarily mean exercising in the way we usual think of exercising (lifting weights, aerobics, walking, running, etc.) Active just means moving your body somehow, and it can be as simple as tapping your feet, bouncing your legs, tapping your fingers, stretching and just picking up things around the house, washing a dish, etc. In fact, a few of the studies I came across talked about how fidgeting could very well be the difference between a person who seems natrually lean and a person who seems naturally heavier. Fidgeting is referred to basically as pointless thermogenesis, the body creating heat by movement, but the movement is basically like nonsense movement. This keeps the basal metabolic rate constantly up because the body is always moving. They say that somebody who fidgets a lot can actually burn up to 1200 more calories a day just by their little nonsense movements (twirling a pencil, moving their feet back and forth while watching TV, readjusting their position shaking their foot, doodling, etc.) I found this to be absolutely amazing. Since I read about this phenomenon, I have made a conscious effort to engage in more nonsense thermogenetic movement--when I talk on the phone, I pace; when I watch TV, I move my feet or arms or hands. When I am on the computer, I swivel in my chair and stretch a lot. It's almost like developing tweaky habits; and I am sure you have probably noticed that people who can't sit still are usually pretty slim.

I have been trying to see just how much small body movements (fidgeting) can burn, and so far, it seems to be about an average of 350 more calories per day (although I did read that somebody who is really dedicated to fidgeting can burn up to 1200 more calories per day!!!!) But let's just go with the 350 per day.

So, in doing the math, if fidgeting burns about 350 calories per day, that means it burns about .24 calories per minute. An average person burns about 1 calorie per minute just by being alive. So, if one incorporates fidgeting into one's activities (never being still, always moving the body in some small way), they can make it so that their body burns almost 25% more calories! That is CRAZY to me. It's amazing in fact. It means that if I want to plop my ass down on the couch and watch the Simpsons, if I make sure I fidget the whole entire time, I have burned 37.2 calories. That excludes getting up for any reason. That means just sitting there watching TV and fidgeting. And in the time it has taken me to write this paragraph, I have been swiveling back and forth in my chair for the past 5 minutes. So, altogether, incorporating fidgeting into my routine in JUST THE TIME IT TOOK TO WRITE THIS LAST PARAGRAPH, I have burned over 9 calories. To me that is absolutely amazing. I feel like I have uncovered the secret to life itself.
 
Fidgeting is awesome! I found I started to unconsciously fidget while I was reading that, just thinking about burning calories by nonsense movements. Haha. I used to fidget a lot in junior high and high school. I had an English teacher who didn't like me very much and used to get annoyed by my fidgeting. I remember one time she said "Well, you'll certainly never have to worry about being overweight because you burn more fat fidgeting than most people do running a marathon!"
A little dramatic, I think. Unfortunately I eventually stopped fidgeting, which could possibly explain why I'm now 160 lbs as opposed to about 135. :p
 
sunny: how long did it take you to put on the extra 25 pounds?

I do not have access to a scale today, but I will tomorrow. I need to buy a scale. The one I bought on ebay doesn't work (I have a claim filed), so I want a good one that tests body fat and everything. I am going to go buy one right now online.
 
Well, I probably put the first 10 on over the last 2 years of high school, which was no big deal. Then the rest came on after starting university, over about 3 years. Good ol' Freshman 15. I always thought it was a myth! Little did I know...
 
I will probably be going to bed in the next hour or two, and according to fitday, I had a 1213 calorie deficit today, which is about .34 pounds. A third of a pound in a day is pretty good, I guess. And I did not do any type of formal workout or anything, just fidgeted a lot, walked around whlie I was on the phone, and did some exercises in bouts of 1 - 5 minutes at a time.

That fitday website is my new god.


-k-
 
Well, I weighed 157.75 pounds yesterday when i weighed myself, and that is down from 166 since I started in January. So, I am pretty happy with that. I will get to weigh myself again tomorrow

i ordered ANOTHER goddamn scale online, so this one had better work. The last one I ordered didn't work and I am in the middle of doing a claim with ebay (43 bucks for a big fancy paperweight).

anyway...

according to fitday, I should have lost about .75 to 1 pounds in the last 2 days, so that scale had better fall in line.

Incidentally, I lost like 2 inches from my waist in the last week and about a half inch from my hips

so that was cool

i will let you all know what the weight is tomorrow.

-k-
 
Losing inches is awesome! Sorry the scale came in non-functional, hope you get a good one soon!

I really need to take measurements. UGH. maybe this weekend.
 
2 inches off your waist? That's great! You're obviously doing something right. I hope this scale turns out to be better than the last one. I think you'd be right to put in a claim with ebay. Getting faulty merchandise is not cool.
 
The Scale is In (and with good news)

Woo hoo! My new scale arrived today! (Anyone who is interested, I can let you know where I got it--it was about $60.00 and it measures water weight and body fat percentage as well as total weight.) SOOOOO glad it worked.

lol

anyway, it said that I weighed 155.6 pounds with a body fat percentage of 32.7. So this means I have 51.89 pounds of fat, and I definitely have more fat than I am supposed to have

(surprise surprise, duh... i wouldn't be on this site if I didn't have too much fat, right?)

Healthy body fat percentage is 20 - 30% for females in my age range. So, I need to drop at least 2.7% in body fat percentage. I am so excited to have a scale at my disposal whenever I want it, and something that tests body fat too. I was using calipers, but those weren't always the greatest, there is a fairly large margin of error on them, I think. Plus, they have you take measurements from belly area and most of my fat is in my ass and thighs.

BUT ANYWAY

Tipping the scales at 155.6 means that I have lost over 10 pounds since I started trying to lose weight in January (when I tipped the scales at 166 pounds).

10 pounds in 3.5 months is a little slower than I would have liked to have lost weight, but however long it took, it's GONE and that's what I care about. And also, as stated in my earlier journal that poofed off into the aether, I really want a different relationship with food and exercise; I want to be able to eat enjoyably and not overdo it and I want to be able to see exercise as something fun that I can do naturally, every day, without necessarily carving out time to go to the gym or go for a walk just for the sake of going for a walk to burn calories.

This past week or so, I have NOT gone to the gym and have instead just tried to move around more, and it has been great. I have been doing a lot of yoga and I can get into positions I definitely could not do at the beginning of the week. And, because I don't set aside specific time to do strength training exercises, I just do them to take a break at work or when the mood strikes, never more than 5 minutes at a time, I have been doing at least as much strength training this week as when I religiously go to the gym. (It's so much easier and doesn't feel annoying to work out when you can just pick up a dumbbell at home during the Simpson commercials or to walk around the house while you're on the phone). If I can keep up this routine and keep losing fat, I am just going to cancel my gym membership. I already have dumbbells at home and I just ordered resistance bands. I might order one of those cute little stair trainers that are teeny tiny so I can just do that while I am playing a video game or watching TV or whatever.

I have also noticed that I tend to have more energy, which is great, and I have a nice feeling, like a

i don't know

like a happiness or joyful feeling that I haven't felt in a long time. It definitely feels good to feel good. haha
 
Oh, and that party last weekend went well. We actually went to 2 parties, one in Norco and one waaay out in the desert. We slept in his truck, and he warned me that he snored but I didn't hear him snore, so I was glad.

But now I don't know if I like him like I thought I did. You know how that is sometimes...

i am very fickle. But honestly, I don't know if I even really liked him or just wanted to like somebody. Sometimes you just want to force yourself to have a love interest because you wish somebody would be interesting that way...

I get like that anyway. They're like what
they're like placeholders.

You know when you really really like someone and when you'd really really just like to like someone.

lol

he's cool but I don't think he really lights my fire...

ehhhhh

eff it

=)
 
goddamn and why am i not tired right now? Last week this time I was up until 4am, and it looks like there's a good chance of that happening again. but I NEED to go to the post office tomorrow before it closes, not sleep through it like last weekend because they are holding shit there for me that they WILL ship back if I don't pick it up.
 
OH MY GOD

the scale today said

drum roll please

153!!!!!

with 32% body fat. That means I lost a whole sloppy, gloppy 13 pounds since I started in January. And I wanted to weigh 154 by next Saturday because I am going to a big party, and I have already surpassed my goal! By a whole pound! I can hardly believe it. The last time I saw the scale hit 153 I was doing diet pills and starving myself. And I have been eating--seriously!

For instance, yesterday, I had a thing for chocolate, so I ate a lot of it. This was my menu yesterday:

breakfast: beef jerky - 64 calories
mid-morning snack: Cadbury Creme Egg - 150 calories
lunch: peanut butter sandwich and yogurt - 580 calories
afternoon snack: Fun-size Snickers - 76 calories
Dinner: Turkey Lean Pocket, beef jerky, and dark chocolate - 460 calories

And, as you all know, I am NOT going to the gym or setting aside specific times to exercise; I just do little bouts of conditioning exercises (1 - 5 minutes at a time), and just generally try to walk instead of driving or walk around while I am on the phone.

AND I did 22 minutes of strength training
walked 13,000 steps (which is a little over 6 miles)
and almost a whole hour of yoga (it came out to 59 minutes)

There is no way I would have ever EVER done this exercise if I had thought of it as "ok, time to exercise". I did almost 3 hours' worth of exercise yesterday, and it didn't even feel like exercise. If I think about what I did yesterday, the thing that stands out most in my mind is being at the computer! So there you have it, and the scale has blessed me with it's glorious news this morning. I am so happy!

I mean SERIOUSLY look at what I ate yesterday--when I wanted chocolate, I freakin' ate it! (and I wanted it like 3 times yesterday thanks to my lovely TOM); I was eating all day AND I didn't "exercise." AND IN ONE DAY I LOST 2.6 pounds, and 1.8 pounds of that was pure FAT


And let me tell you something that happened to me two Mondays ago, it really kicked my butt into gear even though it was painful....

This guy that I met on the Internet said I was really cute and he wanted to meet me, and so I drove out to see him, and when he saw me he was like

"oh.... um.... yeah.... I was expecting someone a little more, uh... small. You look smaller in your pictures"

Because I had one picture up on this site from when I was a lot thinner, like about 135 pounds. When I went to meet that guy, I weighed about 163 pounds.

The guy wasn't even cute in person himself

he seriously needed to get rid of his unibrow and his face just wasn't cute

but that wasn't the point; the guy could have looked like the Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons...

I have never, to my knowledge, been rejected because I was too fat. I mean honestly, I used to have a seriously banging body, I even did fetish modeling and stripping. I have slowly put on pounds over the past 5 years until a nice, trim 135 turned into a sloppy, 171 (my highest weight ever ever ever).

and you guys probably know how it is, you see yourself every day, so sometimes you don't even notice how fucking fat you've gotten until someone who hasn't seen you for a long time is like

WHOA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what the hell happened to you

or in my case, some dude thinks you were hot in a picture from almost 30 pounds ago and you realize

uh yeah

i don't look like that hot picture anymore.

But that comment from that unibrow dude was a real wake-up call. I am NOT going to be the chunky girl that guys don't want to date. FUCK THAT. That was one of the most horrible feelings in the world when that guy said that to me.

"I was expecting someone... uh.... smaller."

I will not be that girl
the chunky girl
the fat chick
the pudgy chick
the one that the guys may think is "nice" but never want to kiss and certainly aren't turned on by

no way

I will be the hot girl, the girl that other girls love to hate. I will never heard another comment like

"uh yeah... i was expecting someone... smaller"

AGAIN












 
YES....

This morning the scale said 152.6, another .4 pounds down from yesterday! And the most interesting thing about yesterday was that I could have easily gone and gotten fast food, because toward the end of the day, I had over 800 calories I could still use. But I didn't want any fast food. That is seriously unheard of for me. I used to go to Jack in the Box AT LEAST twice a week. I haven't had any fast food now for over a week and it is crazy that I don't crave it.

They say that the weird and funky additives and preservatives that they put in fast food is addictive, so that the more one eats it the more one wants to eat it. Could it be that I am actually getting over my addiction? That I would rather have regular food now that I make myself (which is what I ended up having yesterday, a tuna noodle dish that I made myself).

If so, this is great, a wonderful accomplishment, just as important as the weight loss itself. I have struggled with my relationship with food for YEARS now, and even when I was at my best-looking weight, I still did not have the greatest relationship with food, usually bingeing all out one day a week, like getting 6 things from a fast food joint twice in one day.

Today is Sunday too, my usual "pig out" day, so we shall see how I do. I feel confident though. I know the day has just begun, but I can see myself going to bed tonight happy and proud of myself tonight for being in control.

=)


TOTAL WEIGHT LOST: 13.4 pounds
TOTAL WEIGHT LOST SINCE 3/05/07, when that dude told me I was too fat for him to be seen with: 5.4 pounds


 
You're doing so well! Holy crap! Way to go on surpassing your goal. :)

Eff that guy who was expecting someone "Uh... smaller". What gives people the right to say things like that? I understand that "hot" people sometimes talk that way because they think that they're hotter and therefore better. But I really can't believe a unibrow dude would say something like that. lol How annoying.

Yes, if you want to be the woman with the body that every other woman wishes she could have, you go ahead and make it happen.
 
dude, that guy was just a mean and shallow bastard. I mean, most people, even if they were expecting someone

uh... smaller

would have just gone on the stupid date, ended it early and just never called. most people won't tell you to your face that you are too fat for them.

However, the fact that he did say that was extremely motivating to me. Nothing is worse than going from the hot chick to the fat chick; I think it's even worse than ALWAYS being the fat chick because then you've gotten a taste of the better life so to speak and then you totally know what you are missing.

And you know what, seriously today 8 dudes came up and hit on me. 8 of them. It was surely crazy. I have been the hot chick and I have been the fat chick and I can tell you that you are treated totally, totally TOTALLY differently by people. It sucks.

Really, there is about a 25 - 30 pound difference between one or the other for me. 25 - 30 pounds can mean the difference between being lonely or being deluged by dates; the difference between being able to wear almost anything to having to achingly decide which outfit you look the least disgusting in; the difference between people paying you to pose for pictures to not even wanting to be seen in public with you. The difference between people listening when you talk to people ignoring you.

It really makes you think....
 
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