Why is it so hard?

T

tamara07

New member
Almost 2 years now that Ive been trying to use just 25-30 lbs. Its excruitiatingly painful and frustrating!1 I Need to lose it to feel confident and happy and just simply have fun! I stay away from my friends, simply because im insecure. I need to do this for myself, its just...impossible. Im so discouraged, and I have NO ONE that supports me really. I just want to be free ! Why is it so hard! I enjoy working out even, its food that ruins me. I Hate it! ...I need some encouragement here... I need advice. How do I control my eating?! This sucks!

* Following the advice bellow, more about me:
Age, almost 21
gender, female
height, 5'10
weight,160 lbs.

I know for my height, im not exactly big but its more about personal preference, and the way I feel and my confidence issues are centered around my weight.
In all honesty Ive gone through alot of personal issues, which has been reflected in my fluctuating weight. Ive been 118lbs ( way to small!) And ive been 175 lbs. My goal? 135lbs. I feel that is a happy medium.

I go through cycles of change. A few weeks of excercise 4x/week and good eating to random binges and no fitness. I dont understand why I stop myself from achieving my goals, as I know i eat even if i dont want to.
I am a pastry chef, so I am surrounded by food all the time and it can be difficult to resist temptations. I do it good food, how ever i feel i need more fruits, vegetables, less bread, more protein. I feel I eat way more than i need to in a day, i dont get the nutrition i need and the times i eat always fluctuate.

The only fast foods i eat are pizza, subway, timhortons, and the occasional thai food. I am a HUGE chocolate fan and id say that that is my biggeset weakness. I also feel deminished and like its pointless to excercise even if a eat just a bit of chocolate in a day.

Im sure my issues are related to my emotions, i just dont know how to over come this hmp. ...Its a viciouse cycle and although it has improved in the last few months, i fear that it will forever repeat its self.
 
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I don't believe in sugar coating things with "you can do it" phrases. You obviously don't want it bad enough. It's as simple as that. Don't look for excuses or think it's impossible, be a bit more proactive about the situation.

You need to work on the mental aspect and decide whether the long term results are more important than the immediate gratification you're getting from food. Until that happens, you'll continue to be frustrated with yourself. :)
 
We need more facts

Tell us how old you are. Are you male/female (I'm guessing female)? How tall are you and how much do you weigh? Also give us your typical diet and a description of how much you exercise. Be as honest as you can and the advice and encouragement will flow in.

Good luck in your battle and welcome.
 
You've been trying to lose weight, so what are you doing so far?

We have no idea how tall/short fat/thin old/young you are so give us some numbers.

How much do you eat in the run of a day, and what do you eat? Have you tracked this yet? Do you measure your portions so that you know?

How many calories are you eating vs how many you should eat? (And don't just assume you have to stay under 1200 calories to lose weight. If you are certain sizes eating that little could hurt more than help.)

Don't feel embarrassed about your weaknesses here. If you gained weight because you live on ho-hos, mountain dew and afternoon soap operas say so. Most of us are here because when we hit a buffet we hit it HARD! Then we hit the couch just as hard.

And you control your eating by not letting it control you. My husband laughs at me when we order pizza and after my second slice he hears me in the kitchen slamming my plate on the counter and screaming at that yummy cheesy deliciousness "You will not win!" before I stomp out of the kitchen. (For me personally, it helps if I get comedicly angry at my food, if nothing else it lightens my mood:))
 
heyy tamara!!!

oh my god, I think this is th first time that Ive read someone's diary and completely related on every-single-point to the dot.
same as you, I've been trying so so hard. I'm 18 and weigh 145, and i'm 5'7 (our stats are somewhat proportional). I wouldnt consider myself big either, but it's excrutiatingly difficult to be comfortable with my own body, and get to wear what I want, the way I want, and have the confidence to pull it off. And sadly, it's that extra 20-25 pounds thats holding me back.
As much as I try for a few weeks, the weeksafterward i just can't keep it up :(
Tim Hortons huh? Canadian? yea, same here...

Anyways, all in all, i just wanted to say, that welcome to the forum! I'm sureyou'll fnd all of the support you need! If you want, we can be weight loss buddies.
Just knowthat it's those two first weeks that are the hardest,to get used to that new healthy lfestyle. And keep remembering your goal, it's the only way you can really stick to it!

you can do it!
 
why the despair? why the attack? You dont really know what Ive been through or why I feel so insecure. What may seem insignificant to you, is very powerful for me.
 
Sorry you took it as an attack. It wasn't intended that way. I think you'd be better off stepping back and putting it in perspective.
 
Put yourself in her shoes

Harold14370 said:
Sorry you took it as an attack. It wasn't intended that way. I think you'd be better off stepping back and putting it in perspective.
Click to expand...


As a 21 year old female she's probably in the most emotionally vulnerable group out there. Young women suffer from huge media and cultural pressure to conform to a pretty tough ideal of beauty. For most of the past 25years what is passed off as "normal" is a size 0 heroin addict with a bad case of anorexia. Plus the the fact that a pack of young women can be pretty catty amongst each other.

Hell I'm 48 and can confess to being an emotional eater and drinker at times. A couple of glasses of wine and a plate of cheese is like Prozac for me :)
 
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Hello there,

ok so the only advice I can give you is that you need to look at the reason behind the binges....Are you an emotional eater???? That is where to start because you can have a great couple of month then you get hit by something very stressful and you start eating badly then you beat yourself up and go off the wagon completely........You have to look at this as a lifestyle change, not a diet that you will do for a couple of weeks or months and then stop completely. Diets work in the short term only, and once you are done with it you go back to your former lifestyle then the problem comes back! What made you get to this point....you have to solve that, and you will get bad days and feel bad but what is done is done you have to move on and concentrate on the now not the then....This forum is supportive so you should find the support you are looking for.!! I find that when it comes down to eating when I am about to eat I always ask myself am I actually hungry???? Is this the better choice? I stop myself like that often but I still have bad days and bad weeks you just have to remain as consistent as possible!
 
Emotional eater!?! Absolutely I am! I spent 2 years struggling through ortho- anorexia/anorexia/ bulimia and b.e.d it was a painful struggle to get to a point where I would be okay to even look at food. My parents were in the middle of a divorce and i was torn between getting away from it or taking care of my severly autistic brother. I ended up living with my boyfriend, only to be kicked out 9 months later because he wanted to sleep with a co worker (and we work for the same company). I ended up homeless, jobless and when you hit the bottom you can only go one way. Up. My best friend and i scrambled and got our own apartment, i got a new job, and bought a gym membership. I have come a hell of a long way and i know i have emotional issues related to eating. Its getting past them thats the tricky part. Im trying to do it for me now. I think Im beautiful, but Im a perfectionist and hate my flaws. I just want to get to a comfortable size where I can feel my best. Thats all anyone here really asks for.
I dont understand why I cant say no to bad foods. I know I cant cut them out completely, but I have alot of difficulty monitoring what i eta and how many calories are in it etc. ....somedays i just dont know what to do. Im not going to accept being over weight. Everyone in my family is, and i do not want to give up on myself.
 
Such a lazy day. I stayed in watching movies. Went for a 20 min bike ide and a 20 min walk. Its not great but it was something. I was disappointed i stayed inside all day. it was pretty nice for a while. Breakfast consisted of scrambeled eggs, toast and orange juice. Lunch was some milk and leftover frozen pizza. I feel so guilty after i eat junk food. Dinner was thai food. I ate half. Maybe a little more. I had one vodka orange with some friends and a few sips of beer. I feel kinda bad. I know it wont help me get o my goal. this weight loss thing is way more mentally challenging than i remember.... Hopefully tomorrow will be good. I kinda like writting what I had to eat here. ...maybe i wil try and keep it up...
 
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