Why do so many people say these things?

lungsfortherace

lungsfortherace

New member
"Don't lose too much weight."

"Don't get to thin." And then refer to you as skinny or slim when you're clearly still overweight.

"Wow, you're looking skinny!" But, again, you're clearly nowhere near a truly healthy weight.

I don't understand people. This comes mostly from colleagues or parents of students or people I see at the gym or people I see at the grocery store or video store or library or bookstore regularly. It comes from people who are very thin and people who are heavy and people who are obese.

What's the point? Why? Why? Why?

I mean, I'd get it if I were like within 10 pounds of a healthy range, but I'm like anywhere from 30-45 pounds away from my goal and my goal isn't a skinny goal!
 
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I hear that from people occassionally even though i'm 40lbs from a healthy weight... I think a lot of it is that you look different from you did... and when a person looses a bunch of weight - especially females of a certain age group (I don't qualify there) there's a worry about celeb-ritis... where a lot of celebs went from looking ok to looking too thin...

It's concern... process it and throw it overboard... :D
 
well, you MUST be looking good, and they want to be complimentary, just say THANK YOU! and smile...

sometimes people just don't want you to look better than them, that could be it...

who knows.. just bask in the glory of your beautifulness!!!
 
Why would you have a problem with people complimenting you. Obv they are just trying to be supportive.

I swear people just need something to bitch about. Would you rather the people call you a fatass or something along those lines. If they did you would still be here complaining about it. No matter what people say its going to offend you(somebody). Get over it. The world is a tuff place.
 
Umm, could you have been any more of a jerk? I clearly get what she's saying. It has NOTHING to do with finding something to bitch about. She's saying that she does not get why people feel the need to call you skinny when you aren't! What's the point in that, when you know you need to lose a lot more weight, and you are no where near skinny.
Since you're so tuff (I'm assuming you meant tough), how about you get over it. She's got one asshole, I doubt she needs another one.


Bigguy2007 said:
Why would you have a problem with people complimenting you. Obv they are just trying to be supportive.

I swear people just need something to bitch about. Would you rather the people call you a fatass or something along those lines. If they did you would still be here complaining about it. No matter what people say its going to offend you(somebody). Get over it. The world is a tuff place.
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i think its them comming to terms with your weight change. People assum automaticly you have cancer or are starving yourself just because you are a normal or much lesser weight.

Also i believe some people have the jelousy thing going on in a serious way :)
 
"Don't lose too much weight."

"Don't get to thin." And then refer to you as skinny or slim when you're clearly still overweight.

Yeah, I hate these quotes too. Some of my friends (and their parents) are beginning to think I have a disorder, since it's very common around my age and these parts. I know what I'm doing, I'm eating regularly and probably more calories I have in years.


"Wow, you're looking skinny!" But, again, you're clearly nowhere near a truly healthy weight.

This one I like. I think it's someones way of complimenting you on your weight loss, and you should take it. Although overall you aren't skinny, in comparison to your former self you are indeed looking skinny and I take this with open arms.

Overall, I take and enjoy the compliments, I don't like the unnecessary warnings though which make me feel like I have a problem.
 
I have issues with this too. Though I do smile and thank them. I know their hearts are in the right place and it really is because they're not use to seeing me at *this* weight, regardless of whether or not it's healthy, I'm packing ALOT less then they've seen on me before and they want me to know they're proud of me.

I think it also has to do with the fact that, in my own mind, I don't think I'm thin, so hearing it disrupts some mental wall I've had up since before I can remember. For someone to compliment me on how lean I've become, dislodges what I've convinced myself from the start, that I'm always going to be fat.

It goes both ways I think. There has to be a point where we genuinly smile at compliments and even if that isn't until we've all reached our goals, we have to start accepting that maybe we really DO look good.
 
People can be complex and very simple at the same time. For some your change may affect some weird insecurity that they have. For others...maybe your old look was just a comfortable fixture in their life and the new look will just take some getting used to.

When someone overweight begins to get back in shape, especially to the point of loosing fat in the face, they can look like a totally different person. I've actually failed to recognize friends after 6 months because they lost nearly a quarter of their body mass.
 
I have heard my fair share of all those comments, and, underneath it all, the speaker does mean well, or they're just jealous that they've not been able to lose weight ;) .

With me it was kind of funny because after I had lost about 25 pounds, it's like people all of a sudden saw that I was losing weight. Maybe you've hit a point where people really see it and, compared to what you were, you do look skinny.

I know it's frustrating because you still have weight you want to lose and, when I was in your situation, I almost felt like I didn't deserve to be called "skinny."

Regardless, just thank them and know that you're doing a great job, that people notice, and that you are going to keep losing!


And I think 130 is a pretty skinny goal!
 
Samantha: Thank you.

Bigguy2007: Maybe you've got some anger issues you need to work out, or maybe you're having a bad day. Either way, do us all a favor and keep your negativity to yourself.

Everyone else: Thanks for your insight. It doesn't make me mad, it just confounds me. And of course, I do say thank you and I do smile, as I am not an impolite a**hole. Bottom line: It's just strange and, in my mind, illogocal, specifically because I have a lot of weight left to lose. That's all.

runningforkicks: 130 might be skinny for someone who is 5'8" and it might be skinny for me, who knows. I just want to look good nakey and in a swimsuit and feel good and be healthy. If I'm there at 130, cool. If I'm there at 145, cooler. :)
 
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We - and especially you, missy, tend to be a lot harder on ourselves and see ourselves far differently than others see us... Your perception of what you're seeing isn't what others see -and a lot of that is because they don't see you when you come out of the shower - when you're dressed you look different...
 
maleficent said:
We - and especially you, missy, tend to be a lot harder on ourselves and see ourselves far differently than others see us... Your perception of what you're seeing isn't what others see -and a lot of that is because they don't see you when you come out of the shower - when you're dressed you look different...
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True true. I haven't seen my brother since Thanksgiving and before that I hadn't seen him since I started losing weight. Anyway, at Thanksgiving he said, "Wow, man. This is the thinnest you've ever been, right?" I confirmed that. Anyway, we were talking last week and he asked after my weight loss and fitness (I'm not sending him or my parents pictures because I prefer to surprise them.) and I said, "Well, I guess I look pretty good in clothes, but naked, I feel like I look like a train wreck." He basically said he felt the same way about himself, specifically about his gut, which isn't really apparent when he's clothed.
 
Oh I hate that. My experience has been more like "You don't need to lose weight". They say this because I'm 6 feet tall, and carry my weight in my middle, and I can hide it well. But that doesn't negate the fact that I am 50 lbs overweight. People confuse being skinny with being fit. I agree with Jillzy when she said sometimes people don't want you to look better than them. Makes them uncomfortable.
 
lungsfortherace said:
runningforkicks: 130 might be skinny for someone who is 5'8" and it might be skinny for me, who knows. I just want to look good nakey and in a swimsuit and feel good and be healthy. If I'm there at 130, cool. If I'm there at 145, cooler. :)
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Just out of curiosity, how tall are you?

I'm about 5'5 and 130 is my goal right now, although ultimately I'd like to be in the 120's.

I completely hear you about looking good in a swimsuit and naked! I feel more comfortable...but I'm not quite there yet. Unfortunately, I let the numbers get in my head and let that affect how I perceive my progress big time.
 
runningforkicks said:
Just out of curiosity, how tall are you?

I'm about 5'5 and 130 is my goal right now, although ultimately I'd like to be in the 120's.

I completely hear you about looking good in a swimsuit and naked! I feel more comfortable...but I'm not quite there yet. Unfortunately, I let the numbers get in my head and let that affect how I perceive my progress big time.
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I'm 5'4" but I have a pretty large, dense frame. You can see pictures of me in the Before/After/Durring section. I weighed 175 in the most recent pictures of me there. At 175, I'm a size 10 in several jeans/pants, and size 12
others. My trainer (Leigh) seems to think if I get below 130 I will start to look stringy and that's not how I want to look. She thinks I will be healthy at 150 but not happy until I'm in the 130s. I got fat at 12, so I've been overweight the majority of my life and all of my adult life. So this weight/numbers thing is little more than a guessing game for me.
 
JeremyRice said:
the best one to me...

is Wow your looking good.. i say what are saying I was ugly before??? lol
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Hey now that sounds paranoid now. just because they say you look good doesnt mean you used to be ugly, just that you look better than you did :)
 
wishes said:
Hey now that sounds paranoid now. just because they say you look good doesnt mean you used to be ugly, just that you look better than you did :)
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no i say it to mess with them.. only the ppl i know can take it as a joke.. other then that i sya thanks and smile
 
...uh, actually, I want people to say that to me at some point. I really want to make people here at home super-uber-jealous of me.

Some people say that because they're honestly worried about you. There's some on the other hand, sadly, that are jealous and hope that you quit after you say that and get fat again. And then there's some other people who say that sort of thing, and they're the ones that can't deal with the fact that you're changing.
 
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