Why can overweight women still look hot, but overweight men

pound4pound

pound4pound

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can't. I think women who consider themselves overweight are very attractive. Being a straight man, not sure I can be as objective as you ladies about men on this. Are overweight men still attractive to you?:bigear:
 
pound4pound said:
can't. I think women who consider themselves overweight are very attractive. Being a straight man, not sure I can be as objective as you ladies about men on this. Are overweight men still attractive to you?:bigear:
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It's a completely different perspective for me because I usually become attracted to personalities before I become attracted to bodies and I can't say that all women are like that. My x-boyfriend was extremely overweight but he was very handsome. He had a beautiful face and I found his belly endearing. But I had seen pictures of him before he put on all the weight and could see that he looked healthier. I would never ask anyone to lose weight because of the way they looked but at this point I would ask them to make healthy eating choices and be more active for the sake of living the healthiest life possible.

Also, do you mean just a bit overweight or very overweight or obese? Technically these are all overweight just by different degrees.
 
personally i like a bit "overweight" (i.e. in the range 25-29 BMI). Guys under that are either way too skinny or way too muscular for my liking. I don't want to hug a skeleton, or a board. I like there being a bit of squish. :) But that being said, i judge people based on their personality first, looks are secondary, and of all the things, weight can certainly change.

when you love someone, you love everything about them, regardless of the weight.
 
so you are never attracted to someone from across the room and think, I would like to get to know them better? Looks don't play a role in the initial attraction at all?
 
pound4pound said:
then how do you see personality?
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You can actually see personality a lot without even speaking to a person.. the way they carry themselves, the way that they walk, their smile, the overall expression on their face. Even the way that someone dresses says so much about who they are.
 
JanaNanner said:
You can actually see personality a lot without even speaking to a person.. the way they carry themselves, the way that they walk, their smile, the overall expression on their face. Even the way that someone dresses says so much about who they are.
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Indeed :) Totally agree.
 
I am fairly superficial, and definately judge people right off the bat based on looks (though I do agree you can "see personality just watching how people act).

That being said, I am right with Shy. I like pudgy guys. Specifically tall, pudgy guys with dark hair, and if he just happens to be wearing some black frame glasses and perhaps a geek t-shirt...yep, I am shallow. But being shallow doesn't mean you want the buff muscular guys, you just want what you find attractivev:drool5:
 
pound4pound said:
not sure I believe it. I think looks play a big part for women.
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You should believe it! Looks aren't important to me at all in men. As for your 'seeing someone across the room' example, that hasn't ever happened to me. Of course, not all women are like that. Some of my friends are constantly pointing out, "Check out that hot guy over there" or whatever, but I can honestly say I've never been attracted in any way to someone I've never spoken to. Of course, I can recognize if a man is traditionally good-looking, but that sparks no personal attraction for me or desire to get to know them.

My husband, for example, weighed something like 250 when we met and is not "traditionally" attractive (should be noted at this time I was at my thinnest), but I developed a strong attraction to him after getting to know him. Now I think he is the sexiest man I've ever seen. :drool5:
 
It's all a matter of personal preference.

Then their is the thing about "opposites attract". I've dealt with weight issues for most of my life. Therefor, I've always had a strong attraction to thin, athletic types of girls. What a lot of guys would see as healthy, curvy, voluptuous, etc, strikes me as just plain fat, and unattractive. All of that just reminds me too much of my own weight issues. I don't care for big breasts, or a bunch of booty either.

As far as the whole thing about being superficial {you guys ever see the movie Shallow Hal ? Hilarious ! Highly recommended} I have to say my first attraction is almost always looks..... but from there, their are a whole bunch of other factors that start to come into play... like I prefer the quiet type. Sweet and friendly is very important too.

So anyway, as to the question, "Why can overweight women still look hot" ? Well, for myself, they can't. Granted, they can certainly find guys who prefer that type of build..... but that type of build won't give them the maximum health benefits, of being thinner and athletic.

Peace,
Fish

PS, I think heavier girls who find guys that either don't care, or even prefer heavier girls, are really backing themselves into a corner, as it would be hard enough, to lose weight, and get into great shape "with support" from your loved one..... but trying to do that when the other half doesn't even want you too ? Good luck !
I have a good friend and co-worker who is in exactly that same spot. And she's cute as can be, too. But quite overweight, and I guess neither she, nor her boyfriend care. Lest you should say, "Then it's all fine...".... Keep in mind that nearly every day I work with her, I have to listen to "how tired she is"... or "how this or that hurts".... or "how she feels like garbage"... Well, yea ! I experienced all that when I was obese too ! I wish she could just take my lead !
 
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Fish Chris said:
PS, I think heavier girls who find guys that either don't care, or even prefer heavier girls, are really backing themselves into a corner, as it would be hard enough, to lose weight, and get into great shape "with support" from your loved one..... but trying to do that when the other half doesn't even want you too ? Good luck !
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That's so true. I was hit on by a guy the other day that said he liked me just the way I am. As flattering as that is, I don't want to remain just as I am and any encouragement to stay just the way that I am is unwelcome. I'm not interested in dating him, but if I were and I did there would be tension between his preference for me to look this way and my desire to lose the weight. It would be a difficult situation and losing weight is difficult enough without adding to it.
 
Thank you so much Jana. When I posted this, I was really concerned about anyone, especially the women here, thinking.... "Urg ! That's guys just a superficial idiot" !

When in reality, it would probably be more accurate to say, I'm overly nitpicky. Details matter. With my photography... with my fishing... with my truck... heck, with my life in general. OCD in prime form right here !

Probably a good thing I'm not looking for a girlfriend ! :) LOL

Peace,
Fish
 
Fish Chris said:
Thank you so much Jana. When I posted this, I was really concerned about anyone, especially the women here, thinking.... "Urg ! That's guys just a superficial idiot" !

When in reality, it would probably be more accurate to say, I'm overly nitpicky. Details matter. With my photography... with my fishing... with my truck... heck, with my life in general. OCD in prime form right here !

Probably a good thing I'm not looking for a girlfriend ! :) LOL

Peace,
Fish
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I think that because most people here are in the same ship-- trying to lose weight and be healthy-- you'd be hard-pressed to find someone who thought that being romantically involved with someone who opposes weight loss or doesn't encourage it is a good thing. :D

Also, there's nothing wrong with having a preference, either. It's one thing to only find skinnier women attractive. It's no different than a woman preferring muscular men or taller men. It's another thing to outright insult what you do not prefer and I can't imagine that you would do that because you've been in that person's shoes yourself as a former overweight person.

Also, being nitpicky is probably one of the best personality characteristics you can have for weight-loss and fitness. I find that having a fairly obsessive personality has helped me tons. When I get something set in my mind, I'm absolutely fixated and refuse to quit, haha. :p
 
I like guys with SWAGGER! ...chubby or not. It's about what YOU think of yourself. You can tell by the way you smile, the way you talk, if you carry yourself well, and if you don't care about what others think, yet are respectable in your approach.

Also,....be confident! ..I've met handsome thin men,...with NO swagger. Then I've met chubby not as good looking facially men,...that have KNOCKED my socks of because of thier Swagger!! ...Confidence brings that for me! That's what I look for. Being confident in their own skin!
 
My husband loves me how i am, because he loves me, no matter what the weight. But he is very encouraging of my weight loss, and is losing along with me. I think it is important to find someone who loves you for you but always has your best interest at heart i.e. getting healthy. Not someone who will sabotague your efforts. So, yes, if you had someone who only liked you big, that is no good. Neither is someone who only likes you small. You need someone for the long haul, because weight can change :)
 
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Alta818 said:
I like guys with SWAGGER! ...chubby or not. It's about what YOU think of yourself. You can tell by the way you smile, the way you talk, if you carry yourself well, and if you don't care about what others think, yet are respectable in your approach.

Also,....be confident! ..I've met handsome thin men,...with NO swagger. Then I've met chubby not as good looking facially men,...that have KNOCKED my socks of because of thier Swagger!! ...Confidence brings that for me! That's what I look for. Being confident in their own skin!
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how true!

Remember that there is more to someone than how they look. Some women are attracted to men because of their personality, money, power or any one of a number of reasons. There is no one thing that is the key to every womans heart.

If you boil it down to our natural instinctual attractions men like healthy women who can bare healthy children and women like healthy men who can protect them and produce good offspring. Look at lions for example... the skinny lion gets no attention from the lioness.

Okay so the above does not apply to everyone but if you think about it there is some truth to it and it is hard wired in to us so that humanity continues to reproduce from the best possible males and females. Now add to that personal preference. It doesnt matter how good looking you are if you are an overweight individual and the person looking at you is not interested in overweight individuals... this goes for both men and women.

Also the level of weight plays a huge part. I have never been skinny and have never had a problem meeting good looking women. That said however if I was maybe 30lbs heavier than I was at my heaviest I would not expect the same women to want a physical relationship with me. For me sex plays a huge part in this. The physical side of a relationship is pretty important to me and if I was 50 or 60lbs overweight I would not be able to perform the way I should be able to. Similarly I have been with women who were overweight and they were either very self conscious about their body or were just not physically able to keep up with me and it felt like a mismatch.

I made a comment in my diary on here a while ago that I didnt want to lose weight and become skinny I am and have always been a manly man. I like my clothes to fit me not to hang off me like they are on a hanger. I like to be bigger than the woman I am with.

The key to this thread is simple... firstly realise what you are and then secondly find someone who accepts you for what you are. You will never be attractive to everyone because we all like different things.

I am limited in how many people might find me attractive due to my personality. It can be too strong for a lot of people, I realise this but I dont feel bad about it... it just means certain types of people get along with me and certain types dont.
 
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