Whippy's Diary

espressowhip

espressowhip

New member

March 1 2010

Hi everyone.

I’m an ex-runner trying to get back to it. I’ve suffered a long illness which included chronic pain. I couldn’t take the painkillers because they made me so ill that I couldn’t work or care for myself properly, so I just pushed through each day the best I could – unfortunately I pushed through a lot of cake and ice cream as well.

I’ve got 160lbs/ 73kg to loose. I definitely suffer through all the how-did-I-get-here remorse. Regardless I’m ignoring the remorse and keeping my eye on the prize. The good news is, I’ve been relatively pain free for about 6 months and finally have the energy to get some exercise and focus on things other than the pain. So here I am.

I have several goals. Naturally to loose weight, but I also have fitness goals and several milestone targets to accomplish along the way.

To motivate myself I have monthly targets posted near my scale and look at them thoroughly every morning to remind me of where I will be when I stick to the plan. I weigh myself daily. I’m well versed in the havoc water-weight can play on daily fluctuations, regardless, it keeps me motivated. I also read Women's Health magazine, which keeps me focused and give me tips on all sorts of things health and well-being related. I also read Runner's world and a Bike Tours magazines so I stay motivated to participate in my two favorite activities. These things help me. I know motivation is key and this remains a high priority for me!

My first weight goal is to be under 100kg by October. That's 66lbs/30kg. It's a lot. If I don't make it, it'll be really close!

I believe I can do that. It will take heaps of dedication and focus, but my expectations are high for this first goal. The summer is coming and there will be super long days for extra activity and extra chances to burn calories. After October my plan will be less intensive.

My initial fitness goal is to jog 45 minutes without stopping. I don’t have a set date for this goal. I’m working with a heart rate monitor and the couch-potato-to-marathon program. I’m terribly out of shape… I’m still on the 20 minutes every other day section of the program until my fitness level gets a bit higher then I can move on. That’s a slow road and it frustrates me immensely! My long term goal is to participate in the local international marathon, April 2011.

I do 15-20 minutes of isometric exercises every day. I change it up but would like to get my RMR working for me instead of against me! I plan to join a gym next fall, which will help me keep fit during the winter.

About a year ago, I completely changed the way I relate to food. I read Alan Carr’s Easy Weigh…maybe you know it. I was super skeptical and totally saw through his slightly skewed information and methodology. Nevertheless, the voo-doo worked positively on me. I’m literally sickened by the idea of eating processed foods, with a few rare exceptions that result in regret –nobody’s perfect! I don’t crave anything and it’s a good feeling! My typical, without trying, intake is 1200 Cals per day. Since that seems to maintain my weight, I’ve taken to measuring my food on a plan of 1000 cals per day.

Food has, thankfully, become the easy part, although measuring foods has provided me with some surprises! For example, I didn’t know cashews were so evil!!. Laziness and the long dark winter have worked against my activity level. My focus has shifted from food and on to activity. If the ice ever melts my extra activity will be cycling. Normally I ride my bike everywhere, which is normal for this region, but I want to add some purely recreational rides with scheduled regularity.

My non-weight & non-fitness related goal is to get down to a size of clothing where I can shop in the non-plus sizes. I'm a size 52 (German sizes) and I need to be a 46. That's 4 dress sizes. 4 isn't such a big number, is it?! I have no idea how many pounds or inches that is, so it's just a goal *as is*...if the clothing fits (generally speaking) then I made it! When I moved to Germany I was a size 42, and that size is my goal for the Summer of 2011. So somewhere in between now and next summer, I'll be a 46!

I’ve been actively doing this for about 3 months now (and planning it for even longer), so my thoughts are fairly organized but also remain fluid as I find out where else I can adjust to meet my goals (or when I learn that cashews are pure evil). But I’m new to the site and hoping to find support and inspiration!

I would submit that I should commit to more concrete deadlines for my milestones. I haven't yet because I think I’m waiting to see how things progress *as is*, before I adjust my program to meet my *ideas* of what the deadlines could realistically be. Also, I figure if I keep going in the right direction the goals will find me at some point regardless of if I set a deadline or not.

Staying realistic is a challenge even though I know it’s a long road ahead. I don’t want to set deadlines that are impossible to reach. I want to experience success, not failure.

I'll share more about my challenges as the days progress.
 
Hi Whippy, and welcome. :waving:
I am really impressed by your post. I think setting out your goals is a great start, and I wish you every success in fulfilling them.
 
March on Mad Scientist

I feel a little bit like a scientist using the scale to measure my food.

At first I thought it would be a hassle, but I like it. Do I want 4oz or 5oz of milk in my Latte today? And what does that extra ounce cost me?

I grabbed it today to make sure my guess-timate of milk in the Latte was correct. It was, give or take an ounce, which was a good lesson for me. I measured my strawberries and made sure that 1/3 a cup of granola really was 40 grams.

Despite the precision I'm employing in the kitchen, or rather because of it, my plateau of 4 months shifted! Today I was down 3 pounds. I'm delighted. I've only been doing this a week - measuring - and result!

One of the unexpected benefits of measuring my food is that I am confident that I am not depriving myself of anything and don't feel the need to go rummage for something extra just in case I've neglected my body of some much needed nutrient. I know I haven't neglected myself, and can sit there doing whatever it is I do, and know that any urge I have is just a habit trying to trick me.

The lowered number on the scale was a nice surprise - really a surprise and I had to check it several times to be sure I wasn't imagining it!

I'm off to do my walk - in the late winter rain - yuck... I'll be smiling on the inside today!
 
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March 2 2010

Thanks Ms.Shadow, for the encouragement, it's greatly appreciated.

Water Weight


I've had a life-long struggle with water weight. When I "became a woman", as my mother called it, I suffered immensely with water weight gain. I was athletic and active but I would gain a whopping 11 pounds each month. Yep! That's not a typing mistake, eleven pounds!

As I got older I learned to deal with it, or suffer less, or complain less anyway.

Now that I'm older, and overweight, I've educated myself on the role lymph nodes play in clearing out your system of excess water. I've also been tracking my weight on and off for about 10 years now and have seen the havoc water plays, seemingly randomly, on my daily weight.

I should have known better than to celebrate the number of the daily weigh-in. But man-oh-man was I in a good mood yesterday!! Ah well, no need to wallow - just keep on doing it and it will inevitably shift! I'm not in a bad mood as a result, I'm in a I-shouldda-known mood.

My walk yesterday was exceedingly painless and during it I decided that I should step it up a bit. I'm going to walk a little faster and a little longer. I'll add 10 minutes - which is a lot when you're exerting. Especially with fittness, if you stay in your comfort zone you aren't going to get better - I know this...I don't know what I'm afraid of.

Joining a challenge has been surprisingly motivating!
 
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March 3 2010

Weighing food has taken a long time to grow on me. I enjoy it now but I resisted it for a long, long time. One of the things that changed over time was that you start to really consider - at length- (especially after learning the food's true nutritional and caloric value) weather or not that food is really, truly worthy of being put in your mouth. Had you told me about this phenomena before I started measuring my food, I would have laughed out loud. I may have even pointed and laughed, it's that ridiculous.

I eat pretty good, generally speaking, although cutting out 200 calories a day is proving to be a challenge. If I hadn't already committed myself, I would have started with cutting out 50 and increase it slowly from there. Smaller portions have become a chore to accomplish - I look at my plate and think -that's it?! Seriously? This is a joke- nobody can live off that piffle amount of food. Of course it's enough food, but I don't like the looks of it - as if to make up for the lack of food, I eat my teeny-tiny, itty-bitty plate of food with a heaping bowl of frothing protest.

Today my food enlightenment came in the form of grapes. Regular ole, sweet and yummy, Thompson seedless grapes. I would have never known grapes had so many carbs if I wasn't weighing my food. A food I once thought of as relatively harmless is anything but. Who would have imagined little 'ol grapes are the enemy?! Not me!

So this morning, I had my regular fruit, and a bowl full of grapes which I figured I'd snack on throughout the morning as I worked. This little bowl of 36 grapes has 32 carbs and 127 calories!! That's .9 carbs each and 3.6 calories each!

That's hideous!​

The upside to this story is that I learned that strawberries are exceedingly harmless! That was also a surprise. A pleasant surprise. Roll on strawberry season!

A-side from the strawberry up-side, the other amazing thing about weighing your food is being literally turned-off by the content of a food that totally works against your goals. Like my grapes. So turned-off, that you can sit beside the food, as I am right now, and have absolutely no appetite for the evil lurking beneath it's skin. I've sat here for a few hours now, giving them the hairy-eye and thinking how they've betrayed me. I don't want anything to do with them. There are other things I'd rather spend my carbs and calories on.

Grapes are no longer worthy of worshipping in the temple of the Goddess Whippy!

Strawberries, however, are another story...::insert strawberry-whore icon here::
 
March 4 2010

You know those times when your willpower evaporates as if it never existed and you forget your goals and everything that you planned and plotted for yourself goes right down the toilet?

It's really something that grabs you, isn't it? Literally grabs you. Overcomes. Overwhelms. Overtakes.

I feel pretty good that I was able to ride it out. the whole thing lasted about half an hour. I was on the train when it started and when walking home it intensified. I had milliseconds where my senses came back, desperately clinging to my goals. I also tried to think about the regret, of not only wasting my body's energy on bad pizza, but of the misstep of not sticking to my plan.

I also feel good that I was able to keep in right at 1000 calories yesterday. The brain can work for you or against you. Interesting (and crummy) psychology at work there! I was so focused on doing it perfectly yesterday that my brain decided this was the perfect time to order bad pizza and ice cream. What conditioning must I have gone through to get to this place!

But I didn't succumb - so it's new conditioning!!

I still need to have more focus on exercise. I wanted to walk yesterday and didn't. I will this morning, right now. But I need to do it everyday. Neeeeed...it's not much time and I have the time (and the snow and ice are gone).

I have no excuse not to exercise regularly.
 
You can tell me to butt out but are you sure 1000 calories a day is enought. I was told never go under 1300 calories a day. Under eating cause your body to go in starvation mode and slows down your metabolism so you end up gaining rather then loosing!
 
Starvation Mode

I wouldn't tell you to butt out, but I might tell you to educate yourself better.

Metabolism naturally slows as we age. Would you suggest that our bodies go into starvation mode as we age?

"Starvation Mode" is a myth. A term used to incite fear by the food industry to maintain America's overeating mentality. This term trains people to eat so much that they never feel hungry, thereby avoiding the dreaded starvation mode.

If you never feel hungry, you are overeating.

Feeling hungry is a signal from the body that it's time to eat something. A hunger pain isn't a signal of starvation, nor is your body going to slow the metabolism every time you feel hungry.

Activity stimulates metabolism.

If eating stimulated metabolism, none of us would be on this forum. Lots of active people on this forum successfully loose on a diet below 1000 calories a day. They aren't starving and their bodies are metabolizing efficiently.

My job is significantly sedentary. 1000 calories for my lifestyle could easily translate to 2000 calories for a someone who uses their body to work all day long.

I have yet to have a hunger pain on 1000 calories. I choose foods that keep me fed and nourished, and are low in calories. I'm not eating meat, which is normal for me even when I'm not trying to loose weight. I'm allergic to wheat, which means no bread products, also normal for me. Both of these factors allow me to consume a much higher quantity of food on 1000 calories than people who choose to include bread and meat products in their 1000 calorie diet.
 
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March 5 1020

Yesterday's walk was difficult. It was very cold and my knees didn't like it. I pressed on for 35 minutes but didn't enjoy it. I'll be glad when the bitter cold subsides.

I need to get out earlier, when the dog walkers are out. I like animals, and watching dogs sniff and frolic is a small pleasure I enjoy immensely. If I can't enjoy the walking at least I can enjoy the sight of a happy dawg!

I'm a former runner. This is a long slow road for me and it's my biggest peeve and frustration and sore spot. I wouldn't dare even try to jog at this weight, even if my lungs would allow it. I couldn't do that to my knees, ankles, and feet. Regardless, every time a jogger cruises by me like I'm standing still, my thoughts float away to some point in the future when I'll be the one sailing past the walkers.

Another joy I have discovered is to criticize posture and gait in the passing joggers. Yesterday I became completely preoccupied by this one woman who had the most hideous gait - classic non-runner running gait. She was a vertical runner, too much up and down and not enough forward motion. Lots of energy into the push up, no push forward. She was thin, pretty, totally undeserving of that body for being such a bad runner! ha! ha!

I didn't think this would/could happen to me because I'm being so careful about eating, and I like eating, but - I got home so late last night that I just couldn't bring myself to eat anything. It was 11pm. I was really thirsty and drank .75 liter like it was 8oz, looked at the 4-calories-each grapes, and hurried through my evening routine and went to bed. I fell asleep before I could ponder missing the meal.

I thought for sure I'd be famished this morning. I wasn't.

I'd never advocate skipping meals, eating is too important, too enjoyable, but I wasn't sorry it happened. My plateau is pissing me off and anywhere I can painlessly cut back, and extra exercise I can get, I'll take it. I walked home last night instead of grabbing a cab, which I do when it's late, and cold...walking home contributed to my being home even later than usual.

My weight was down again today, but hmm, I know better than to get excited about that. We'll see what my Tuesday weight is. That's when the March challenge weighs in. My personal March goal is on the 15th, and I'm painfully close to it!! I can almost taste it! Unfortunately, I'll be in Rome on the 15th (don't hate me). I don't know how that's going to go. Of course I'll be walking a lot, a lot, a lot...but I'm deathly afraid I might contract a tiramisu flu which I hear has terrible bloating symptoms. I'm sure you'll hear all about it upon my return.
 
March 6 2010

I was a little disappointed that my food diary doesn't have any sushi loaded into it's database. It has a function to add 'custom foods' which has helped in a lot of cases. Regardless of the vast usability in the world of dining out and prepared meals, it's lacking sushi and is therefore useless to me.

Just kidding. It's not such an absolute situation. I just thought for sure, what with sushi having become trendy, and certainly diet friendly, it would be in there.

Today is my second day below 129kg. Maybe - just maybe something is moving! I took a look at the weight-loss log for the last 7 days, and even though there are fluctuations, it's moving downward on average. I hope so. My goal for March 14 is 128.0, yesterday was 128.3, today am 128.6. These are kilograms people! I've only got a week to get down to my goal.

I wanted to loose 4lbs this month. It seemed a simple task but obviously it hasn't been. I didn't exercise enough to burn the calories I was taking in. The long winter was wreaking havoc on my emotions. My goal next month is 6lbs.

The idea was that I would exercise a lot this month and be in shape enough to turn it up a notch next month, thereby making it possible to do 6lbs the following month.

I need to make my behavior match my goals.

It snowed last night and dumped at least a foot. A foot of snow in the city is no place for a walker to walk. I might try it. It's hard work to walk in the snow, and that hard work will burn more calories.
 
March 7 2010

I'm still motivated and I'm feeling frustrated today.

I weighed in at 129.8. If my weight doesn't change with added exercise and an ultra-energy burning diet (I only eat food my body can use immediately)...ugh! :banghead:

I can get the same result eating pizza and ice cream. Seriously.

Frustrating!​

Of course I have more energy on this diet but the weight isn't shifting. I have a week until my first personal goal deadline and I'm ... okay ... I just realized I'm whining over 2 lbs. :smilielol5:

If you want to loose 2lbs and can't, then you are a big ole dumbass. It's 2lbs - out of 160...that is not just frustrating that's depressing! :banghead:

But come on...2lbs is a no-brainer! :sifone:

Everyday I wake up ready to do more for myself and ready to embrace a new chance to be kind to myself and take a step, big or small, closer to my goals. After a month of being exemplary and not actually loosing anything I'm really feeling like - what's the flippin' point?

I know the point. I know my goals. I think about them constantly.

Did I write yesterday that we had a snow storm and there's a foot of snow on the ground? Maybe that has more to do with my mood than the weight. I feel pretty helpless. I want to exercise more and going for a walk isn't an option today. I went yesterday and it was so icy that this was an exercise in staying upright, not really exercise.

Regardless, after a month I should be able to loose 2lbs...or 4 was it, for this month. A total of 4. :cuss:

It's a healthy loss, not too much, 2 in a week? I can loose 2 in a week, right? I mean... right?!!!
 
Hiya Whippy. You might wanna tell me to butt out now too, because much as I hate to break it to you, "starvation mode" most definitely exists. I am living proof.

I tend to just call it reduced metabolism rather than "starvation mode," which has become an emotive term in dieting circles. But my weight loss would slow dramatically (as it has in the past) were I to eat as little as 1000 kcals per day. Simply increasing my caloric rate by 2 or 300 kcals has dramatically increased my losing.

But of course it's your body, your rules. ;) I'd really love you to experiment by increasing your cals to 1200 a day for a week and see what happens. Or, you can tell me to butt out and continue doing it your way. Either way, I do wish you the best of luck.
 
espressowhip said:

If you want to loose 2lbs and can't, then you are a big ole dumbass. It's 2lbs - out of 160...that is not just frustrating that's depressing!

But come on...2lbs is a no-brainer!

Everyday I wake up ready to do more for myself and ready to embrace a new chance to be kind to myself and take a step, big or small, closer to my goals. After a month of being exemplary and not actually loosing anything I'm really feeling like - what's the flippin' point?

I know the point. I know my goals. I think about them constantly.

I feel pretty helpless. I want to exercise more and going for a walk isn't an option today. I went yesterday and it was so icy that this was an exercise in staying upright, not really exercise.

Regardless, after a month I should be able to loose 2lbs...or 4 was it, for this month. A total of 4. :cuss:

It's a healthy loss, not too much, 2 in a week? I can loose 2 in a week, right? I mean... right?!!!
Click to expand...

Hi there and welcome to WLF. While two pounds a week is possible it's not guaranteed. Many of us work very hard at our eating plans and exercise regimes, yet lose only one pound per week. Weight loss is a journey, not a one week thing, not a one month, three month or even one year thing. Many people on this site have weighed similar weight to you, or more, and have worked at healthy eating and exercise for years which is healthy and realistic.

So buckle up Dorothy, cuz Kansas is going bye-bye. LOL Seriously, what I mean is to have success, you need to re-train your brain to think looooong-term. Think more about eating healthy and exercise and less about weight loss, and you'll be more satisfied with your outcomes.

The reason you haven't felt hunger pangs at 1000 cals/day is because our bodies react to severe decreases in calories by going on super slooooo - mowwwww metabolism. It's a built in biological reaction in order to survive. You're like everyone else here, trying to find the right amount of calories for your weight, height, and level of activity. You will do it over the long term.

Good luck!! Looking forward to seeing your success.
 
If it makes you feel better to know...

I've been on 1200-1300 calories for the past 3 month and have lost less than 6 pounds. 2 weeks into it I increased my activity level which I attribute to the loss rather than the decrease in calories.

Adjustment have been made to maximize my current activity level. When I'm able to burn more calories, my caloric intake will also increase. 1000 calories is 200 calories more than what they fed me in the hospital. The calories they gave me matched my activity level of lying in bed all day. See how that works?

If you aren't exercising of course your metabolism slows - which is who "starvation mode" is aimed at, the inactive people not eating. I'm not one of those people.

With activity, metabolism is stimulated. With activity, metabolism efficiency doesn't prevent the burning of calories. With activity, calories get burned even if you eat nothing - something the inactive, starving people haven't figured out.

Metabolism slows when you get older, it slows when you have depression, it slows when you take certain medications, it slows when your body is ill, all of this regardless of how much food you are or are not shoveling in - and still none of these scenarios are starvation mode.

Slow metabolism is not a crisis worthy an emotive term like "starvation". It happens for all kinds of reasons, and luckily it can be stimulated with a combination of diet and exercise.

Loosing weight is simply a numbers game with the ratio between activity and intake being the major factors. If slowing metabolism is a concern, then you aren't getting enough exercise.
 
Thanks for the laugh!

I know it's a journey. ...and a long one. I'm totally there for it! This forum is great!

When I post numbers, it's really more about shocking myself into accepting the reality of my weight than anything else.

It wasn't all that long ago that I was well under 200, and in my mind, I'm still there. I need to adjust my body image so I can deal more efficiently the work I have ahead of me.

I know! I know! I just had my sights set on this first monthly goal! The upside, which I haven't posted is that I lost 2cm on my calves - YAY! Walking! I appreciate your support on the caloric adjustment factor.

Even though I use to run 5 miles a day, exercise is where my weakness is - and that's where my focus is. Most of my goals are fitness related. As my fitness level improves, the weight will inevitably come off.

Thanks for your post, it made me smile!
 
March 8 2010

The snow didn't melt. I plan to go into town, which I have to do anyway for work, and walk on the inner-city streets. They are usually clear enough to have a good walk - get the heart pumping and all that.

The only thing more challenging that loosing the weight is getting back in shape. I was a runner - a distance runner - I did a lot of training, daily. I used to run the stadium stairs 3 times a week. If you aren't aware, that's a lot of fekkin' stairs! Now I get severely winded with 2 flights of stairs.

That's a hard pill to swallow. Harder than any number of pounds I'm attempting to loose.

I know I'll do it, eventually. I know it's going to take time. I know it's a process and I'll have all kinds of ups and downs along the way. I plan to write about my ups and downs, for me. I plan to write about the process, for me. I plan to read the blogs in this forum, for me.

It hasn't occurred to me that I won't succeed. As my fitness level improves, so will my success with weight loss. It just is so.

Some of you have criticized me pretty harshly, in private, for my lack of calories. I understand biology and physiology. I used to have a team of people assist me with such things - when I was a runner. Now I can pull from that pool of information to help me now. When I said I'm not hungry, I meant I don't walk around in a state of hunger. I do get hungry, the same way I get hungry at 2000 calories, or 2500 calories, or 3000 calories...just so you know - it feels the same as it did at 1500, and 1200, and now.

If you saw the size of my salads, and the amount of fruit I consume in the mornings. Did you know soy yogurt was so yummy and low in calories? I am ingesting a lot of food, which happens to be low in calories.

I'm eating significantly more food than I was at 1300-1300 calories. Really.

I'm making better choices. Like not eating grapes at 4 calories each and having a couple of strawberries at .04 calories each - for example. Some things are calorie hogs, and I've gone to great pains to maximize what I'm eating while minimizing the calories.

It's a trial. I wasn't loosing at 1200, now I'm trying 1000 and increasing activity. Back off! My body is heavy from moving my muscles but my spirits are high and I poop a lot - yep, I do... this is another reason why I don't buy the slow metabolism argument. I poop more right now, than I did at 1500-1600 calories. When I have a kiwi in the morning, I see the seeds again in the evening. I think my metabolism is moving along just fine.

Did I mention I've been at this for a couple of years already? When my health improved enough to start activity last year I started an actual plan, with written goals. I've been here about a week or so.

I never used the online forums before, but when my motivation lagged, I came here for it - and I got it. What I hadn't counted on was so much negative criticism, especially from other weight challenged people.

If these cowards said some of these things to me in person I would probably tell them that they're fat too and whatever they've been doing for the past 5 years hasn't been working, and I'm not going to listen to their advice.

Admittedly, I'm finding my way too, but some people have tangible issues with food - there's all kinds of psychology at play and I can't be expected to sift through those who come here and tell me they don't loose weight on 1200 calories a day, and I can't either, but never mention the cake they ate in the middle of the night last Tuesday. Seriously...There is always a reason the weight doesn't come off and it's usually down to behavior.

I haven't struggled my whole life, unlike a lot of people here who have. I didn't have a child or 2 - which I personally can't imagine how any mom's can loose weight with all that kid-food around (much respect ladies)! I didn't go through some traumatic experience. What I was, was ill and in bed for a long time. Even when I got out of bed I couldn't do much. I know exactly how I gained this weight - which is why, for the last 2 years, have refused the cookies and milkshakes my well-intending friends and family brought me to compensate for the fact that I couldn't get out of the house.

Before being ill, I was in great shape and had some healthy curves. My brain still runs 5 miles a day and my body image is stunted at about 100lbs less than my current weight. That psychology doesn't motivate me, it actually works against my goals. I'm in a constant state of profound disappointment at my body's inability to do much of anything, and I cry about it often. It's frustration in it's most pure, debilitating form. And like a lot of people who are fat, and even those who are not, I am an emotional eater. It's a vicious circle and it's in the throws of being broken.

The successes I've had to get to this point, are immeasurable!

Why we are fat and how we got here is different for everyone. How we get back to our ideal selves is also going to be different. This is a very personal journey and daring to put that out on a blog is not an invitation to attack.

I get a lot from the blogs. I can relate to so many of the struggles people have with diet and exercise. I'm motivated and inspired. I'm sorry my blog didn't function that way for some of you - and on the occaision that my blog doesn't inspire or motivate you, just move along and read another blog.

No need to get nasty.

For everything in life, there are tools. One of the tools made available on this site is to not allow replies or messages. If I need to block out the noise, I will employ the tools.

 
Whippy, I'm sorry my offered suggestions offended you so much. Don't forget, support is a two way street. ;)

I still wish you every success.
 
Worry not Ms. Shadow. You were not the offender. I wrote "in private" meaning the offenders were messaging me privately.
 
March 9 2010

The other thing that gets your metabolism going is being upset - as in livid.

I was pretty wound up yesterday, then kicked myself for putting so much energy into it, and then went to work in that state of mind. I work with people and I ended up having a few confrontations, of sorts, which also got my adrenaline pumping.

I can laugh about it now but we'll see how many apologies I have to dole out when I get to the office today. :toetap05:

Today the scale said I was down! I know I can't trust the daily numbers but it's Tuesday, official weigh-in day, so it gets recorded. I was more than pleased by the result. By March 14th I wanted to weigh 128kg, and today I weighed 126.4kg!

Something shifted! :willy_nilly:

That was the intended plan, to have something shift, and it did. I'm really happy about that. I broke away from my 130kg plateau in a big way and feel I can leave it behind me.

I think it's too big a loss for one week, but if I count 1-3kg of my daily-fluctuating water weight, then it's reasonable.

I know it's not about weight, but right now that's the only tangible evidence I have. At my size nobody notices when you drop a whopping 8.5 pounds in a month! My clothes don't seem to be any looser. At this stage the measured success is indeed about numbers. So here are the monthly numbers:


Neck: No change :banghead:
Biceps: No change :banghead:
Forearms: No change :banghead:
Chest: No change :banghead:
Waist: -2cm
Hips: -6cm
Thighs: -5cm
Calves: -3cm

:party:

I would love every month to be so fruitful, but I'm realistic. I'd be happy to simply not get hung up on a plateau again, but that would be dreamin'!

Walking is becoming easier. The last two weeks we had snow-free sidewalks, parks, and forest paths, and I was able to wear my running shoes instead of boots. I noticed that the running shoes activated different muscles and my shins were exhausted on the second and third day. I liked the burn. I can do 45 minutes but I am entirely wiped out after, I think it's still too much. I feel only somewhat wiped out after 35 minutes and that's better. I'm not able to get over 3mph though. When I try to walk faster, I can do it for 3 minutes or so, but get out of breath to the point that I can't continue mylwalk. My body can walk faster but my lungs aren't having it!

I might employ intervals to get myself up to 4mph. Not having a coach right now sucks! I don't know how hard to push and how long this should take. I'm cool though...I'm not competing anymore so I'm cool...

I still hate the body-conscious isometrics I'm doing. I do them because I know I'll be happy that I did them later. Right now I hate, hate, hate them! It feels like they aren't doing any good (not to self to look at the good they did in the negative numbers) and yesterday I found myself rushing through them, just getting the reps in and not caring for form too much. Today I'll take more time and drag myself through the Oscars which I recorded - even though I've already heard who won what.

The snow is back but I noticed it was melting quite nicely yesterday. I'll be in Rome next week and am sure to do metric tonnes of walking with no chance of snow.
 
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