Wherever I Go...Here I Am!
- Thread starter HereIam!
- Start date
BansheeBabe
New member
Hell yeah I did! Seriously, there are women I know twice my age (my mom being one of them) that look WAY better than I do! And I have a feeling you are a total Cougar! Rarrr baby!
Speaking of your movie rant... I think I understand what you are saying and it is a vicious, vicious, cycle. I did it for 4 years until a light bulb went on in my head and now, I am a completely different person. I don't know what is was but you will find it....
Speaking of your movie rant... I think I understand what you are saying and it is a vicious, vicious, cycle. I did it for 4 years until a light bulb went on in my head and now, I am a completely different person. I don't know what is was but you will find it....
Derrick
New member
HereIAm, you can accomplish so much more than you realize if you truly MAKE IT HAPPEN! The good news is, 41 is still pretty young in my opinion. I am only 31 but I still think women your age look youngish...if that is a word. 
Also, your weight is not all that bad. I don't know if you said what your goal weight is but I think you could realistically drop to an ideal or even athletic body fat range within 1 year. I was stuck and doing the same mistakes just like you...for 13 years!!! Three or four different times in my 20's I got super serious but never made it longer than four months. I never once totally achieved my goal. I never gave myself long enough and kept having a short term mentality about everything I was doing. Finally, I got so out of hand that I knew I needed a year to change my life. Here I am almost 10 months later, only 6 lbs away from my goal weight, 3% away from my bodyfat goal and I have surpassed my fitness goals for year 1. Now, I made drastic changes to my life because I truly believed God was giving me every indication that was necessary. Maybe that is what you need? I can't say and only you know but maybe that is something you can pray about too? If you keep making the same mistakes over and over again, something big has got to change! Right?
Also, your weight is not all that bad. I don't know if you said what your goal weight is but I think you could realistically drop to an ideal or even athletic body fat range within 1 year. I was stuck and doing the same mistakes just like you...for 13 years!!! Three or four different times in my 20's I got super serious but never made it longer than four months. I never once totally achieved my goal. I never gave myself long enough and kept having a short term mentality about everything I was doing. Finally, I got so out of hand that I knew I needed a year to change my life. Here I am almost 10 months later, only 6 lbs away from my goal weight, 3% away from my bodyfat goal and I have surpassed my fitness goals for year 1. Now, I made drastic changes to my life because I truly believed God was giving me every indication that was necessary. Maybe that is what you need? I can't say and only you know but maybe that is something you can pray about too? If you keep making the same mistakes over and over again, something big has got to change! Right?
HereIam!
New member
ewll if the 40's are the new 20's......
WHO ARE YOU CALLING A BABY WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!! hehehehe
Haha it was worth getting on the computer just to see those big letters lol !
HereIam!
New member
BansheeBabe...That is the total coolest. If you somehow bottle that "lightbulb effect" so people could choose when it goes off...
you
would
be
the
richest
woman
on
the
planet,
Bar None.
Richer than Oprah! Oh yea.
Derrick, omg, you're so close to your goal! Holy cow, it's like the holy grail! How gratifying, how encouraging, you are and Banshee is... to see that you went around in circles and then, well...... stopping driving around in circles! I can do it too. I can, I can. It's possible. I need a light bulb.
I need a lightbulb.
Stat!!
you
would
be
the
richest
woman
on
the
planet,
Bar None.
Richer than Oprah! Oh yea.
Derrick, omg, you're so close to your goal! Holy cow, it's like the holy grail! How gratifying, how encouraging, you are and Banshee is... to see that you went around in circles and then, well...... stopping driving around in circles! I can do it too. I can, I can. It's possible. I need a light bulb.
I need a lightbulb.
Stat!!
Derrick
New member
It's funny that you say that because it jogs a memory in my head. From 2003 until 2007 I truly believed ONE DAY, some light bulb would come on in my head and I would be a changed person forever. I would even tell people that. It would go something like this,
"Derrick, you have gained a lot of weight, you used to be an athlete, what happened?"
"I know, I'm not happy about it either but my life just isn't set up right for the time being. Too much work and stress and not enough energy. Maybe someday I'll figure out how to set it up right and become an athlete again."
Then sometime in late 2007 it actually dawned on me, "what if a lightbulb never does come on in my head? What if I never do become an athlete again? What if 20 years from now I'm 400 lbs, divorced, miserable, by myself and have four blocked arteries in my heart?"
It wasn't long after that I told my wife I was going to quit my job and change careers to something that allowed me to make my own hours. I told her even if we had to sell our new house and move down I was going to do it. It took a few conversations to convince her and it helped that my dad was at a stage in his life where he wanted to try a new venture and I would be the manager. But nonetheless, I was done waiting for something to click and decided to take significant steps towards changing the way my life was "set up." Now there are others significant parts to my story that did involve some "triggers" so to speak but the commitment to change began with choosing to leave a career that was keeping me stuck and fat.
I do like that you still believe you will do it one day. I think that is good. Just don't wait forever for that lightbulb to come on by itself. Sometimes you just have to stick out your finger and flip the switch yourself. Do it while you are still youngish.
"Derrick, you have gained a lot of weight, you used to be an athlete, what happened?"
"I know, I'm not happy about it either but my life just isn't set up right for the time being. Too much work and stress and not enough energy. Maybe someday I'll figure out how to set it up right and become an athlete again."
Then sometime in late 2007 it actually dawned on me, "what if a lightbulb never does come on in my head? What if I never do become an athlete again? What if 20 years from now I'm 400 lbs, divorced, miserable, by myself and have four blocked arteries in my heart?"
It wasn't long after that I told my wife I was going to quit my job and change careers to something that allowed me to make my own hours. I told her even if we had to sell our new house and move down I was going to do it. It took a few conversations to convince her and it helped that my dad was at a stage in his life where he wanted to try a new venture and I would be the manager. But nonetheless, I was done waiting for something to click and decided to take significant steps towards changing the way my life was "set up." Now there are others significant parts to my story that did involve some "triggers" so to speak but the commitment to change began with choosing to leave a career that was keeping me stuck and fat.
I do like that you still believe you will do it one day. I think that is good. Just don't wait forever for that lightbulb to come on by itself. Sometimes you just have to stick out your finger and flip the switch yourself. Do it while you are still youngish.
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HereIam!
New member
A little cry on a monday mornin'..
Re: the light bulb:
Oh, my. Derrick, I can't believe I sat here in my morning pj's cryin'.
Shoot. It's true. I know I need to not wait for that light bulb. And it's likely I need to change jobs, ultimately, unless I can exert myself where I am protactively, and say, This is what I need to do.
Sheesh... Gulp. Truth!! It always get you right...there!
Re: the light bulb:
Oh, my. Derrick, I can't believe I sat here in my morning pj's cryin'.
Shoot. It's true. I know I need to not wait for that light bulb. And it's likely I need to change jobs, ultimately, unless I can exert myself where I am protactively, and say, This is what I need to do.
Sheesh... Gulp. Truth!! It always get you right...there!
Derrick
New member
Well hang in there and keep thinking and praying about this. Whether or not changing careers or jobs is right for YOU, I hope you are realizing that something has to change in your life or you will just keep thinking about getting fit. You are doing some great things already but give yourself some time too. Try to improve on the things you are doing wrong and just keep at it.
Trust me, four to six months of truly busting your butt at the gym and eating healthy will change your life for the better in almost every way imaginable and then some. The day you realize you are not only doing it but nothing can stop you is a life changing moment. Even if you are already a confident person, you will have so much more confidence and hope in your life once you start to look fit and feel energetic. It just gets better and better from there. Sure there will be stubborn plateaus and bad weeks, probably even bad months but if you can just stick with it and keep challenging yourself you will be so proud of yourself and just want more and more. And I truly believe that by planning your schedule around excercise, you will be better at all of the other important areas of your life. You will be a better mother, worker, friend, etc.
Trust me, four to six months of truly busting your butt at the gym and eating healthy will change your life for the better in almost every way imaginable and then some. The day you realize you are not only doing it but nothing can stop you is a life changing moment. Even if you are already a confident person, you will have so much more confidence and hope in your life once you start to look fit and feel energetic. It just gets better and better from there. Sure there will be stubborn plateaus and bad weeks, probably even bad months but if you can just stick with it and keep challenging yourself you will be so proud of yourself and just want more and more. And I truly believe that by planning your schedule around excercise, you will be better at all of the other important areas of your life. You will be a better mother, worker, friend, etc.
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BansheeBabe
New member
That would be nice to be Oprah Rich! Hell ya! If only there were a magic pill... how you hanging in there today?
HereIam!
New member
174.4. That is what I weigh.
...Because...I kind of woke up in the night and ate, well, a meal's worth of calories.
I tried not to eat past 5:00 pm which was great....I did a humble mile on my treadmill... then, I went to bed past midnight...not
so great... started to REALly get hungry by then...and by 2:30 am, hunger pains woke
me up and my feet went to the fridge (not the rest of me, just my feet lol), and I
"eated" green bean casserole from the tupperware container. Oh, and a beer. Lol. That
is just WEIRD! So, usually I weigh on a very empty stomach and it's 2-3 lbs. lighter than
if I had just eaten. So. Maybe I don't REALLY weigh 174.4.
WTHeck??? I actually make it to not eating in the evening and then I get up in the night?
Am I a sick puppy??? gah. Sigh.
Today is another day. Another day. Another day.
...Because...I kind of woke up in the night and ate, well, a meal's worth of calories.
I tried not to eat past 5:00 pm which was great....I did a humble mile on my treadmill... then, I went to bed past midnight...not
so great... started to REALly get hungry by then...and by 2:30 am, hunger pains woke
me up and my feet went to the fridge (not the rest of me, just my feet lol), and I
"eated" green bean casserole from the tupperware container. Oh, and a beer. Lol. That
is just WEIRD! So, usually I weigh on a very empty stomach and it's 2-3 lbs. lighter than
if I had just eaten. So. Maybe I don't REALLY weigh 174.4.
WTHeck??? I actually make it to not eating in the evening and then I get up in the night?
Am I a sick puppy??? gah. Sigh.
Today is another day. Another day. Another day.
GreyGhostHunter
Active member
I know how you feel.
We spent the night in the ER last night with my daughter.
Well, anybody who has spent any amount of time in an ER knows one thing. You don't just get in and get out. Since it had been 6 hours since dinner and about 3 hours of waiting for test to get back I ended up at the vending machines about 1:00 in the morning. I broke one of my most important rules, "NO VENDING MACHINES".
Things happen, don't worry to much about it. I don't think one night is going to kill you.
We spent the night in the ER last night with my daughter.
Well, anybody who has spent any amount of time in an ER knows one thing. You don't just get in and get out. Since it had been 6 hours since dinner and about 3 hours of waiting for test to get back I ended up at the vending machines about 1:00 in the morning. I broke one of my most important rules, "NO VENDING MACHINES".
Things happen, don't worry to much about it. I don't think one night is going to kill you.
Derrick
New member
I hope your daughter is ok GGH.
HIA, brush it off and don't let it bother you anymore. We all have done some weird and less than perfect things. If this is a reoccuring problem, try a bowl of Fiber 1 cereal around 8pm. It has a lot of fiber, not so many calories and gives your tummy a comfy feeling before going to bed. I have to eat it about 4 nights a week and I have lost 57 lbs in 10 months.
My favorite is Honey Clusters. Yummy.
Derrick
HIA, brush it off and don't let it bother you anymore. We all have done some weird and less than perfect things. If this is a reoccuring problem, try a bowl of Fiber 1 cereal around 8pm. It has a lot of fiber, not so many calories and gives your tummy a comfy feeling before going to bed. I have to eat it about 4 nights a week and I have lost 57 lbs in 10 months.
My favorite is Honey Clusters. Yummy.
Derrick
HereIam!
New member
Derrick: FIFTY SEVEN POUNDS! I forgot you had lost all that!!!! Mother of pearl!!!! Whoa!!!! When you lose all that in ten months... you mean business, holy moly. The fiber cereal... wow, this is a fabulous idea. I'm going to buy some tomorrow!
Greyghosthunter: Gosh: I hope your daughter's tests came back "happy", and that everything came out well! You lasted a loong time before you hit that vending machine. A really long time. One night. That's where I need to keep it at.
I shall now smoke a virtual cigar.
When you lose all that in ten months... you mean business, holy moly. The fiber cereal... wow, this is a fabulous idea. I'm going to buy some tomorrow!Greyghosthunter: Gosh: I hope your daughter's tests came back "happy", and that everything came out well! You lasted a loong time before you hit that vending machine. A really long time. One night. That's where I need to keep it at.
I shall now smoke a virtual cigar.
HereIam!
New member
Procrastinating Makes Me Fat.
176.6.
Riddle me this:
How can procrastination increase your waistline?
Answer:
Because when you're on the defense, you eat to compensate.
At least, I do. The time comes that I have to finally produce and
when I do, I'm out of my own comfort zone. It's a weird equation, what has one to do with the other?
Well, sometimes I eat out of emotional turmoil, I suppose; and other times, it's because I'm literally too sleepy to be
doing what Im doing, be it studying or staying awake at midnight to have company with whomever
is watching a movie--Etc...Etc.....
.... Admittedly, the emotional part (emotional distress = eating) doesn't necessarily connect--
I'm the one who connected those two in my own brain a long time ago.
But, the "sleepy" part really does seem to connect.
Eating wakes me up.
I studied last night. And When I'm up really late (like 3:00 am), there's no getting around it. It is like the laws of physics.
If you build it they will come. If I study I will eat. I feel really gross right now.
The Bright Spot is this: I was eating without restraint while focusing on the angst of The Studying, and worried in the back of my mind about what I was doing---sabotaging my beautiful and healthy diet and exercise of late--but, it was only "in the back of my mind"... when, suddenly, this "something" rose up in me and said, "All RIGHT, now, that's eNOUGH. You've had your "fun", your "outlet", your coping thing. Now, you're just indulging because you said you could and you're just being mindless and ridiculous." That's what this "feeling" said. I put down the [cracker and butter at the time] and backed away from the counter. I meekly grabbed some water and shuffled back to the grindstone [computer].
I studied until about 1:00 am and then stayed up to watch a movie with my spouse, who ordinarily works nights, and also must be an alien because he can stay awake for anything if he has to.
He's also as lean as I dream of being.
I'm drinking lemon water and doing triage on my diet today. Going to walk/trot/run a couple of miles,
and a bit of weights if I have time.
Getting my flax oil and fish oil, drinking lemon water, and praying like a mad dog. The thing is, I have a sight lot more studying to do before I have to turn in this assignment, my weekend will be chock full of it. So,
I'm thinking of alternatives to the comfort of eating while I study.
The first line of defense is to NOT STUDY SLEEPY. (not study sleepily?)
If
I
Study
When
I'm
"falling asleep sleepy",
I'm
Doomed.
So.
Don't Procrastinate. Sigh.
Oh, and put out alternatives. Iced lemon water, cereal, the like.
Off to the health food store to realign my sense of who I am.
Does anybody else get that rush from the health food store?
176.6.
Riddle me this:
How can procrastination increase your waistline?
Answer:
Because when you're on the defense, you eat to compensate.
At least, I do. The time comes that I have to finally produce and
when I do, I'm out of my own comfort zone. It's a weird equation, what has one to do with the other?
Well, sometimes I eat out of emotional turmoil, I suppose; and other times, it's because I'm literally too sleepy to be
doing what Im doing, be it studying or staying awake at midnight to have company with whomever
is watching a movie--Etc...Etc.....
.... Admittedly, the emotional part (emotional distress = eating) doesn't necessarily connect--
I'm the one who connected those two in my own brain a long time ago.
But, the "sleepy" part really does seem to connect.
Eating wakes me up.
I studied last night. And When I'm up really late (like 3:00 am), there's no getting around it. It is like the laws of physics.
If you build it they will come. If I study I will eat. I feel really gross right now.
The Bright Spot is this: I was eating without restraint while focusing on the angst of The Studying, and worried in the back of my mind about what I was doing---sabotaging my beautiful and healthy diet and exercise of late--but, it was only "in the back of my mind"... when, suddenly, this "something" rose up in me and said, "All RIGHT, now, that's eNOUGH. You've had your "fun", your "outlet", your coping thing. Now, you're just indulging because you said you could and you're just being mindless and ridiculous." That's what this "feeling" said. I put down the [cracker and butter at the time] and backed away from the counter. I meekly grabbed some water and shuffled back to the grindstone [computer].
I studied until about 1:00 am and then stayed up to watch a movie with my spouse, who ordinarily works nights, and also must be an alien because he can stay awake for anything if he has to.
He's also as lean as I dream of being.
I'm drinking lemon water and doing triage on my diet today. Going to walk/trot/run a couple of miles,
and a bit of weights if I have time.
Getting my flax oil and fish oil, drinking lemon water, and praying like a mad dog. The thing is, I have a sight lot more studying to do before I have to turn in this assignment, my weekend will be chock full of it. So,
I'm thinking of alternatives to the comfort of eating while I study.
The first line of defense is to NOT STUDY SLEEPY. (not study sleepily?)
If
I
Study
When
I'm
"falling asleep sleepy",
I'm
Doomed.
So.
Don't Procrastinate. Sigh.
Oh, and put out alternatives. Iced lemon water, cereal, the like.
Off to the health food store to realign my sense of who I am.Does anybody else get that rush from the health food store?
HereIam!
New member
Stolen From ChefChiTown's Journal Because It Is Beautiful:
"" ""
I was going through things I've written again and I found something I wrote called "Follow The Leader". I hate how people just follow along with whatever society wants them to and how people refuse to be themselves. There are so many truly amazing people that I've met, but they mask their true identity with a bunch of horseshit, trendy illusions. It's stupid how people judge eachother by dumb shit like the clothes they wear, their haircuts, what CDs they own or what cars they drive. It's ridiculous and everybody knows it. But, only a few of us are brave enough to be ourselves.
Fear is the greatest educator, for only in terror do we learn of our true selves.
- Me [ChefChiTown]
I think it's sad how the human race can walk this earth not even knowing who they are. Your minds are a slave to the trends while society acts as your mother, raising you to blindfully follow the fad you call "cool". Society molds the way you act; keyword ACT, for who you really are, nobody knows.
The way you present yourself is an insult to your true personality, as you are doing nothing but putting on a show in order to fit in with the other sheep. The clothes you wear, the music you listen to, the stores you shop at, the cars you drive, the food you eat; you lazily copy everyone around you, preventing yourselves from developing a mind of your own.
Quit worshipping what you think others want you to be and think for yourself for once. Stop being afraid of yourself. Society doesn't give a fuck about you, yet you'll do just about anything to please it. Why are you so willing to trade in your individuality for a false sense of belonging? All of the people you are trying to impress don't really like you, they like who they think you are; the character you portray.
Your whole life is a trend. In fact, you probably haven't had an original though or emotional impulse in years. You do nothing but morph yourself to blend into the forefront of society, providing yourself with daily makeovers in order to fit in with the ever changing crowd....but that's not you.
You are the hard ass thug who cries at a sad movie. You are the demonizing bully who writes sappy poems of love and romance. You are the weekend whore who regrets every fling. You are the depressing emo kid who paints pictures of sunny meadows and glistening rainbows. Sadly, you are also the only one who knows this.
Why do so many people wait until they stare death in the face to unveil their true colors? It isn't until you experience darkness that you decided to reveal your light. Time is precious, so hear my message before it's too late...
You are beautiful; shine on
=ChefChiTown (Rob?)
"" ""
"" ""
I was going through things I've written again and I found something I wrote called "Follow The Leader". I hate how people just follow along with whatever society wants them to and how people refuse to be themselves. There are so many truly amazing people that I've met, but they mask their true identity with a bunch of horseshit, trendy illusions. It's stupid how people judge eachother by dumb shit like the clothes they wear, their haircuts, what CDs they own or what cars they drive. It's ridiculous and everybody knows it. But, only a few of us are brave enough to be ourselves.
Fear is the greatest educator, for only in terror do we learn of our true selves.
- Me [ChefChiTown]
I think it's sad how the human race can walk this earth not even knowing who they are. Your minds are a slave to the trends while society acts as your mother, raising you to blindfully follow the fad you call "cool". Society molds the way you act; keyword ACT, for who you really are, nobody knows.
The way you present yourself is an insult to your true personality, as you are doing nothing but putting on a show in order to fit in with the other sheep. The clothes you wear, the music you listen to, the stores you shop at, the cars you drive, the food you eat; you lazily copy everyone around you, preventing yourselves from developing a mind of your own.
Quit worshipping what you think others want you to be and think for yourself for once. Stop being afraid of yourself. Society doesn't give a fuck about you, yet you'll do just about anything to please it. Why are you so willing to trade in your individuality for a false sense of belonging? All of the people you are trying to impress don't really like you, they like who they think you are; the character you portray.
Your whole life is a trend. In fact, you probably haven't had an original though or emotional impulse in years. You do nothing but morph yourself to blend into the forefront of society, providing yourself with daily makeovers in order to fit in with the ever changing crowd....but that's not you.
You are the hard ass thug who cries at a sad movie. You are the demonizing bully who writes sappy poems of love and romance. You are the weekend whore who regrets every fling. You are the depressing emo kid who paints pictures of sunny meadows and glistening rainbows. Sadly, you are also the only one who knows this.
Why do so many people wait until they stare death in the face to unveil their true colors? It isn't until you experience darkness that you decided to reveal your light. Time is precious, so hear my message before it's too late...
You are beautiful; shine on
=ChefChiTown (Rob?)
"" ""
So_tired_of_fat
New member
You are doing good, your diary really makes me feel like I'm not the only one "stucK" as you'd like to say. We just gotta keep pushing I think.
I don't feel the greatest either and I JUST started. But I think we can do it.
I don't feel the greatest either and I JUST started. But I think we can do it.
GreyGhostHunter
Active member
176.6.
Riddle me this:
How can procrastination increase your waistline?
Answer:
Because when you're on the defense, you eat to compensate.
At least, I do. The time comes that I have to finally produce and
when I do, I'm out of my own comfort zone. It's a weird equation, what has one to do with the other?
Well, sometimes I eat out of emotional turmoil, I suppose; and other times, it's because I'm literally too sleepy to be
doing what Im doing, be it studying or staying awake at midnight to have company with whomever
is watching a movie--Etc...Etc.....
.... Admittedly, the emotional part (emotional distress = eating) doesn't necessarily connect--
I'm the one who connected those two in my own brain a long time ago.
But, the "sleepy" part really does seem to connect.
Eating wakes me up.
I studied last night. And When I'm up really late (like 3:00 am), there's no getting around it. It is like the laws of physics.
If you build it they will come. If I study I will eat. I feel really gross right now.
The Bright Spot is this: I was eating without restraint while focusing on the angst of The Studying, and worried in the back of my mind about what I was doing---sabotaging my beautiful and healthy diet and exercise of late--but, it was only "in the back of my mind"... when, suddenly, this "something" rose up in me and said, "All RIGHT, now, that's eNOUGH. You've had your "fun", your "outlet", your coping thing. Now, you're just indulging because you said you could and you're just being mindless and ridiculous." That's what this "feeling" said. I put down the [cracker and butter at the time] and backed away from the counter. I meekly grabbed some water and shuffled back to the grindstone [computer].
I studied until about 1:00 am and then stayed up to watch a movie with my spouse, who ordinarily works nights, and also must be an alien because he can stay awake for anything if he has to.
He's also as lean as I dream of being.
I'm drinking lemon water and doing triage on my diet today. Going to walk/trot/run a couple of miles,
and a bit of weights if I have time.
Getting my flax oil and fish oil, drinking lemon water, and praying like a mad dog. The thing is, I have a sight lot more studying to do before I have to turn in this assignment, my weekend will be chock full of it. So,
I'm thinking of alternatives to the comfort of eating while I study.
The first line of defense is to NOT STUDY SLEEPY. (not study sleepily?)
If
I
Study
When
I'm
"falling asleep sleepy",
I'm
Doomed.
So.
Don't Procrastinate. Sigh.
Oh, and put out alternatives. Iced lemon water, cereal, the like.
Does anybody else get that rush from the health food store?
Wooo thats deeeep maaannn he heGood thou, very good. You're right about the shopping. If when ever I need a diet adjustment I just go to a grocery store and walk around. For some reason it helps me get back on track a little cause I am able to just look around and study what foods are good and what are bad, and I end up with healthy alternatives.
BansheeBabe
New member
Hey girl just checking in on your progress.. it looks like you have a lot going on in your life and you are doing a good job of balancing it out... you just need a fire lit under bum and get that excitement of losing weight! You are going to look great and in the end and it will have been worth it. Way to quote Chef, he's amazing, you're amazing...