Jesica1
New member
And thats what I always thought, Everyday as I lived a life of a super obese person, Weighing 300lbs at my heaviest and standing 5'1". I attributed all of my problems and troubles to being fat. Finally, after realizing just how fat I was and having problems breathing, and not being able to stand being in my own skin... I started on the path to what I thought would be perfection. I worked out my diet plan, started at the gym 30 minutes a day. Then I upped it to 60, then 90, until I was at the gym for 2 hours a day. I ran 12 miles a day on the elliptical while at the gym. It became a game to see how much weight I could lose every week, every month. I felt empowered everytime my clothes became baggy... every time a new body part became visible... particularly bones. I had been fat my whole life. I had never known what it was to be a normal person. Once my bones started becoming visible it became my obsession. As the weight dropped and I decreased insize going from a very tight size 28 Jeans, US to a comftorble 5/6 and weighing 135lbs. Now I see all the damage I have done to my body. Im 27 years old, and without my clothes I looked like im melted. My skin hangs and drips, nothing on me is tight. Even my face has excess skin. I would probably lose 15lbs at least if I had my skin removed right now. When I was a size like 24 I wanted to be an 18, then a 16and thought Id be perfect when I was 12... but with every size, I still feel and think Im fat. My diary here is not to blog about how depressed I am, because I am actually quite the opposite. Although I still dont "feel skinny" I do feel better and know I am a lot healthier than I was when I was obese and my quality of life is 1000 times better. My diary here is to give others hope... hope that even though life doesnt magically get better when you lose weight like you thought it would... and you dont mentally register with the transformation your body has made, there are others just the same and hope for anyone who has a lot of weight to lose... it IS doable. Its also about my struggles in dealing with my new body, and my new life, and its about my continuing transformation even on to plastic surgery. Its about everything Ive gone through and will go through... I've lost 165lbs, I still have a little more to go, and then on to my surgeries. I will get a complete body lift, face lift, breast reduction or lift, breast implants, etc. Ill show pictures of every progress I make and now my after picture is my new before picture. I wonder what I will look like in the end result! Another completely different person?? Now I know that I cant expect my mentality to completely and magically be there once I change again, but I do know physically I will feel so much better!
My Before Picture: 300lbs
Inbetween:
(size 12)
(size 8)
(size 8)
(5/6)
(Bad Picture!!)
My Before Picture: 300lbs
Inbetween:
(size 12)
(size 8)
(size 8)
(5/6)
I had to have a greasy cheeseburger for the hangover today. Not good. lol Anyways, Tomorrow is back to regular diet. Ive just moved so ive tried to find a gym with a daycare. no luck! now I will have to have a friend watch my daughter while I workout... it will cost more but I cannot stop going to the gym ~ Anyways, nothing too exciting here... Im wore out!