What's wrong with me?

S

Sara06

New member
I have a problem with food. Maybe most do here, but I need some help.

A litttle history, I struggled with eating disorders from 13 til I was almost 19. When I got pregnant I weighed 112lbs at 5'7". I immediatly started eating as my baby was more important than being thin.
i gained 20lbs by the time I was 3 months, 41lbs in total. I never lost all the weight and I got pregnant again and gained 35lbs. Never lost all that weight either. I have a lot of trouble losing when I'm nursing, it was hard with my first and impossible with my 2nd. I gain and gain. When I got pregnant with my 3rd, I weighed almost what I deliverd my 1st at. After the initial weight loss, I've gained over 5lbs in the last 3 weeks. She'll be a month on Monday.

The problem is, I can't stop eating. I will eat and eat until I feel sick, my stomach hurts and I feel just awful. I had 5 plates at a buffet last night and 4 glasses of water. It's like I'm a bottomless pit. I felt awful after, but after an hour's drive home, I ate again. I munch all day long, constantly snacking. I feel ruled by food, a slave to it. I'm often thinking of what I'll eat next. How could I at one ponit have the control to eat nothing and now I don't havve the control to not eat everything. During my 1st trimester with my 3rd, I couldn't even stabd thinking about sugar. (if only that lasted). I lost 12lbs and felt good (morning sickness aside). I hate eating so much, it makes me feel awful and I look awul too.

I find I hide food wrappers in the garbage and I'm often bugged about how much chocolate and sugar I eat. This isn't a healthy example for my kids. It bugs me that my friend us still bulimic now that she has daughters, but am I really any better?

What's wrong with me? I've started countless diets. I stayed on Atkin's the longest with no cheats 2 1/2 days. I lost 7lbs in those couple days (gained back in 2) and my bloating which is a real problem I have, had gone away.

Why am I like this? My Dr who use to encourage me to gain now says I need to lose. Has anyone been where I am and over come? How?
 
Oh hun, I really symathize w/ you! I'm sorry you feel this way.

I'm no doctor, thats for sure..BUT..it sounds to me that you are doing alot of emotional eating. I did that for YEARS. You need to get to the root of your problem. Maybe you need to get some help to do that??

You really have to go into a lifestyle change (or diet) w/ a positive attitude that you will succeed. I see alot of people trying to loose weight, but they have the attitude that they can't really loose weight. They aren't worth it, they can't do it, on and on. You ARE worth it hun, you owe it to yourself!

Wish I could help you more...if you wanna talk more you can always PM me :)
 
The trick is to find a hobby or something.. an activity that will keep you busy physicaly as well as mentally. That way you wont be thinking about food all the time. At least that is what i have been trying to do.. but i know where you are coming from. When ever anything bad happens in my life i tend to turn to food first.
 
I'm a huge emotional eater.. you can read the first post in my diary, or on this newbie section and see where I come from in that aspect. I think of food quite a bit, esp. now tha tI am trying to get it under control. I think I know how you feel.. I get up, and as I'm eating breakfast, I'm already savoring the idea of what migh tbe for lunch, or dinner. Heck I'm thinking about what I'm doing for lunch RIGHT now. lol. It is a lot of emotional eating, filling the void etc. for me.

Finding what is eating at ME, when I want to eat, or stuff my face, is a good start to finding out how to resolve the issue, and not use food to attempt to compensate. Because as you and I both know, food isn't solving the problem, but only adding fuel to the fire. I am upset about my weight, there fore I eat, therefore I gain, therefore I am upset about my weight and so on.. One vicious circle!

Distraction is also another tool I use. As Pinky said I really find doing something to distract my mind or hands is a very big help! I took up knitting and really enjoy that and cna't be eating as my hands are busy. I do that when I watch tv in the evenings, because thats one time I REALLY want to munch! :) Next.. if I really am dying for something yummy or sweet, I go make myself take a walk, hit the treadmill, do some sit ups. Distract myself and re-focus my mind on my body's fitness and health.

I hope these.. posts have helped you some. ALso, just realize you're not alone. And maybe seeing a counseler, nutritionist, dietician is a good idea to help you get to the bottom of your "bottomless pit" as to why you are eating so much.. ! :)
 
Thanks for all the great advice. A lot of my problem s boredom. I feel stuck in the house with 3 little ones (4, 2, 1 month). We're moving to a small town on Monday where I'll no nobody and there wouldn't even be a gym I don't think. If there is, there's probably no childcare and usualy babies have to be 3 months. I really enjoy working out at the gym. It's my 'me' time. But I haven't been able to work out in 3 1/2 months. I really miss it. I gained as much in the last 2 months as the first 7.
 
Sara, well if there is no available gym or gym with childcare perhaps you could look into work out DVDs, videos, etc. to use at home. Perhaps, IF possible (i knwo this is tough) orientate your kids to a nap time at the same time, and use that time to work out. Or if you can get up earlier before the rest of your family is up and work out then.

Another option might be, for you to tell your husband that you will need ihm to take care of the kids for an hour at the end of the day so you can get sometime to yourself and to work out. Explain to him how important this is to you and I imagine it will also enhance your relationship since once you feel better about your self you tend to be more happy in general over all!

Another thing to think of, are physical activities you an incorporate WITH your kids. :) you know "baby dumbells" :) Or exercise actitivies, this way you can teach your little tikes about being healthy and daily exercise and burn a few calories yourself. I know tis not IDEAL, but its a way to incorporate a way to burn calories through out the day. :) Focus on activites with the kids so you're not bored and don't have time to eat. :) Maybe give yourself af schedule so you have things going on through out the day with them and you may not feel so restless through out the day. I only say this from experience of running a daycare with my sister for four years. 12 kids all 5 years of age and younger. Spending a day from 6:30 to 5:30pm can be really long.. and having a structured day REALLY helps!!

Best of luck... remember we're here to help in any way we can.. even if you just need to vent.. :)
 
Newleaf- My 2 year old just stopped napping:( I'm hoping to be able to set them up colouring or something during one of my baby's naps. Not sure how it will work as the fight alot. I'd hate to be stoping and starting all the time. I can't leave the baby with DH yet as I''m nursing her still and will be for at least a year and a half. Do you have any activity suggestions for us? I can't take them outside as the baby would freeze.
 
You poor thing I soo feel for you! What about getting a Pilates DVD and trying that in front of the TV? I have never tried it but lots of people swear by it! Another cheap and easy thing to do(I need to do this too) is getting a cheapie weight bench and some weights. Several years ago I bought one for something like 60 bucks.

I had all my kids 4-5 years apart so I always have a built in sitter, and wouldnt know what to do if I couldnt escape for my walks alone! Plus Im lucky to live in Tx. so weather is seldom an issue.

I hope so much that you can find something for yourself, because working out is so important. Good luck to you!
 
I'm sure you realize that emotional issues tied to eating is a problem you've had long before you got pregnant. All eating disorders are a serious physical problem, but they also ALL have a psychological/emotional connection as well. I have a daughter who has been battling anorexia and bulemia since she was 9 years old. She also goes through phases of gaining weight without worrying about it. Then something triggers her to start losing it again. She is extremely tiny and even just 5 pounds is a dangerous weight loss. I'm sorry, did you mention what your weight is now? I don't remember seeing it. You might want to consider starting off by concentrating on healthy eating in general rather than gaining or losing weight. I would think with those babies your pretty active already. Adjusting your eating habits to average healthy levels could be just what you need. You've still got to deal with the emotional part though, which means dealing with whatever issues that have been there for a long time. I hope you find the answers. Try to remain strong and remember that nobody does it alone. We will be here to help where we can.
 
Thanks for the advice:) There's actually a gym on campus where we moved last week. I bought some Billy Banks DVD's and I'm going to really try to eat better. DH has a 2 hour break in the afternoons, so I'll be going then. I can't wait! I really want to do this this time.
 
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