For me it was self worth and self love. I did not like the person I had become. I was embarassed to go out in public to let my co-workers see me so I hid behind big coats extra big clothes. If invited to go to a party or somewhere fun I did not go. I figured that people do not like fat people they judge us by our size and so I hid.
In 2007 I had to have surgery but could not have it until I was down under 250. I was having the surgery out of state so I lied to the Dr. about how much I weighed. I told him I weighed 240 when in all actuality I weighed around 270. So I hit the gym and really changed how I ate. Surgery time came around and I weighed exactly 240. I took time off for a month after the surgery and hit the gym again. I got down to 225, then we got pregnant (October 08) in November we lost the pregnancy and I was devestated so I stopped doing anything I sat on my pity pot and for each month that I did not get pg again I became more depressed. I cryed all the time. The last big depressive episode that I had was in March when I found out once again I was not pregnant. I cryed off and on for 2 weeks and my weight was up to 230.
So one day while I was in town I drove past a boxing place that was opening up. I LOVE to watch boxing and UFC so I called and the first time I asked the guy that answered was not very personable so I decided not to go. Then my co-worker who had just told me she was scared for me because of my personality change talked me into calling again. I got ahold of another guy and this one was very friendly(and is now my personal trainer). I was very honest with him that I was a bigger girl and wanted to make sure that I would not be out of place. I made an appt. to take a class so the next day I showed up very nervous but I made myself do it. I took the class and then sat down and talked to Sonny he was really nice made me feel at ease so I signed up for 2 weeks of personal training and all the classes I wanted to take. That was April 3. I am keeping my personal training for atleast 3 months and I train with Sonny 3 days a week and take boxing and kickboxing classes the other 3 days with one day of rest. I feel more like myself again. I can smile and laugh and all of that stress is gone. I realized that getting pregnant and having another child does not define who I am and I am not at a healthy weight to carry a baby anyway so we are no longer trying. I am doing this for me and only me. I have to be happy with who I am. Do I still get down on myself......Ya since I lost 3 and gained 1, but the inches are falling off and I only have 2 pairs of pants that fit me now and they are both really lose. My BP before I started was 150ish/95 to 100. I took it last week and it is 121/71 what a difference.
In 2007 I had to have surgery but could not have it until I was down under 250. I was having the surgery out of state so I lied to the Dr. about how much I weighed. I told him I weighed 240 when in all actuality I weighed around 270. So I hit the gym and really changed how I ate. Surgery time came around and I weighed exactly 240. I took time off for a month after the surgery and hit the gym again. I got down to 225, then we got pregnant (October 08) in November we lost the pregnancy and I was devestated so I stopped doing anything I sat on my pity pot and for each month that I did not get pg again I became more depressed. I cryed all the time. The last big depressive episode that I had was in March when I found out once again I was not pregnant. I cryed off and on for 2 weeks and my weight was up to 230.
So one day while I was in town I drove past a boxing place that was opening up. I LOVE to watch boxing and UFC so I called and the first time I asked the guy that answered was not very personable so I decided not to go. Then my co-worker who had just told me she was scared for me because of my personality change talked me into calling again. I got ahold of another guy and this one was very friendly(and is now my personal trainer). I was very honest with him that I was a bigger girl and wanted to make sure that I would not be out of place. I made an appt. to take a class so the next day I showed up very nervous but I made myself do it. I took the class and then sat down and talked to Sonny he was really nice made me feel at ease so I signed up for 2 weeks of personal training and all the classes I wanted to take. That was April 3. I am keeping my personal training for atleast 3 months and I train with Sonny 3 days a week and take boxing and kickboxing classes the other 3 days with one day of rest. I feel more like myself again. I can smile and laugh and all of that stress is gone. I realized that getting pregnant and having another child does not define who I am and I am not at a healthy weight to carry a baby anyway so we are no longer trying. I am doing this for me and only me. I have to be happy with who I am. Do I still get down on myself......Ya since I lost 3 and gained 1, but the inches are falling off and I only have 2 pairs of pants that fit me now and they are both really lose. My BP before I started was 150ish/95 to 100. I took it last week and it is 121/71 what a difference.
