What is wrong with me?

cocoisfit

cocoisfit

New member
Joined this forum because I'm miserable and in desperate need of motivation and help. And you guys have helped me lose weight in the past.

Two years ago I was a size 4!

Then I gained 75lbs.

Last year I managed to lose enough weight to get me out of the obesity BMI zone.

Then this year I finally hit an all-time high of 245 pounds- borderline morbid obesity. I look and feel gross. So much for New Year's resolutions.

Now I am fully committed to losing weight and getting down to a healthy BMI. A friend introduced me to a doctor who is willing to help me in the diet area and maybe some in the mental. But something is missing. I start off well then a few days later I relapse into my old eating habits. And ALWAYS end up gaining a pound or 2 or 10 :(

Any words of wisdom is very much appreciated.
 
If you really are fully committed this time you won't need any words of advice. It sounds like you have the physical and emotional support you need to do this.
As long as you have your personal drive to get healthy you will, no one can give you that. It has to come from within you.
 
It sounds like you may be trying to change everything all at once. I think it would be more effective to change slowly, so you don't have as much of an urge to revert back to your previous lifestyle..for example instead of having three twinkies a day, have two a day, and then a week or two later have one a day, then another week later try one every other day, etc etc. And once that's out of the way tackle other parts of your diet.

Also try writing down what you eat for a few days, seeing it in writing can really give you a large shock and make you more careful.
 
If you're having problems with falling off the wagon, try reading this:



It's basically an explanation of the two most common reasons for not being able to stick with a diet plus some ideas on how to deal with it.
 
you might do better off the bead diet (saw your blog). Instead, look at the science. It's all about calories in vs calories out. There are many online tools to get your BMR so you have a base average of calories you need each day. 500 calories less a day and you will lose about a pound (averages). you don't have to starve yourself. Just make small changes and you will get big results.
 
LOL. Everyone says that. The bead diet is big in the nyc area. I know a few people that took alot of weight and kept it off. And it's working for me i just need to stick with it.

I wish the calories in, calories out thing was true. The body (at least mine) just doesn't work that way :(

Even robin from the howard stern show is on it. she needed the medical intervention!!
 
cocoisfit said:
I wish the calories in, calories out thing was true. The body (at least mine) just doesn't work that way :(
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why? Do you have an alien body? Do you live in a spot in the world where the laws of medical science doesn't work? Does your hairdo prevent reality?

Seriously, the body DOES work like that. Your body needs energy to exist. It gets it one of two ways.

1) You eat calories and the body uses that.

2) Your body eats itslef (so to speak) for energy.

If you don't eat enough calories for it to exist each day, then it will eat itself. It has to have that energy so it's one or the other.

It's medical science.
 
Perhaps my point didn't come across well but if things were that easy we wouldn't have plateaus, for example. Or why does anorexics' weight loss halt? I wish losing weight were as easy as a simple math equation. In theory you are correct. Practically however our bodies aren't that simple.
 
Plateaus tend to happen most cause people don't re-adjust their calorie intake.

But you didn't answer why your case is different that calories in vs calories out isn't working for you?
 
I'm getting at your mental state of mind. Instead of saying 'Maybe I been eating more calories than I burn' you are saying 'well my body doesn't work like that'. It's an excuse. You don't need excuses. You are here. You are willing to do it but you have to be honest with yourself and your situation before you can move ahead in a healthy and sustainable weight loss.

You likely are an emotional eater if you find yourself slipping into old eating habits after a day or two. Do you have an emotion connected to eating? I had one. Most of us did. One key to breaking it is to actually identify it.

Have you done the math to know how many calories you should be eating a day to lose a pound or two a week? I don't have a height or age but I am estimating on certain facts that you need to eat around 1400-1500 calories a day to lose about a pound a week. How many are you actually eating?
 
Yes, I am an emotional eater. Lately it seems like I eat ALL THE TIME! Bored, happy, sad, you name it. I need to find that balance and control. Next week I'm starting a food journal just to see where my calories are coming from and -gasp- how many I'm actually eating.

Do you keep a food journal? How do you estimate your calories?
 
The food journal is a great idea. I'd go one step further. Add how you are feeling before you eat to the entries.

The problem is for most of us is we find comfort in food cause food doesn't reject us and it makes us feel good. It's a bad habit that is hard to break..but it is doable. One major key is to force yourself to make the choice to do something else. Anything else. Heck, take a deck of cards and slowly flip each card over till you reach the end. See if you are still dying to grab something to eat.

I use to keep a food diary till I learned in my head proper food estimation. Learn portion sizes. If you tend to eat certain things alot, see if you can get a calorie count for it. There are many sites that gives general calorie information on all sorts of food. I think Fitday does but I'm not entirely sure.

I wasn't getting on your case as much as trying to get you to see past things. Let me tell you a story. My fiancee is always telling me I look good for my size, that I didn't need to lose weight. Now she was doing it so I didn't feel bad but I got to 400 pounds. Even when I was telling her I need to lose weight, she was saying no cause she didn't want me to feel bad. It was an excuse. It was something I could have held onto instead of seeing the facts. It sucks to admit where we are but we have to see reality. When we do, the path is available to us. We are a product of calories in vs calories out. I think once you see what you eat over a week, you will see just how much you do eat. It's ok. We all underestimate what we eat. I thought I ate one or two meals a day but yet, 400 pounds. Hard to fight that evidence.
 
HI

I wouldn`t say there is anything wrong with you,nor you are an alien. I think the problem is that we want to see results very quickly.We want everything yesterday.
You have support and help from professionals,which is great. Get your friends involved. Phone them for support,if you are having a hard time.
Find a community of people,who exercise,who`ll take you in and give you advice and support. Try to find local crossfit gym.I`m sure you`ll find a great people who`d be keen to take you on and give you a helping hand.

I agree that it is about calories,in and out. You want to eat to lose weight,but eat good stuff.Be active, walk,use stairs,play with kids,do gardening...
Keep making small changes,each week adjust somethink new. Drink more water,for example,eat more fruit next week.Week after eat more veg...keep changing small things,it`ll all add up.

You can do it,it is in your power to do it. Prove everyone that you are a strong person.
Wish you all the best.
 
I hope you are truly becoming open minded about Jericho's comments. Weight loss, from a scientific standpoint, really is just as simple as calories in vs. calories out.


cocoisfit said:
Do you keep a food journal? How do you estimate your calories?
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The best thing to do is not estimate. Fitday is a fantastic site, but the best way will always be to read labels and weight your food.

Buying a food scale was the best thing I ever did for my health. You can not trust measuring cups for most foods unfortunatley.

I don't know if your willing to put out the twenty to thirty dollars for one, but a good digital scale is priceless when it comes to weight loss.
 
cocoisfit said:
LOL. Everyone says that. The bead diet is big in the nyc area. I know a few people that took alot of weight and kept it off. And it's working for me i just need to stick with it.
Click to expand...

Not to come off as a total dick, but it's obviously not working. Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't you say...

cocoisfit said:
I start off well then a few days later I relapse into my old eating habits. And ALWAYS end up gaining a pound or 2 or 10
Click to expand...

...???

I'm not saying that it's purely the diet you're on that is preventing you from losing weight, but I'm definitely saying that it's not really working for you. If it was, you wouldn't have come here asking for help. With that being said...

cocoisfit said:
I wish the calories in, calories out thing was true. The body (at least mine) just doesn't work that way :(
Click to expand...

Everybody's body works that way. Yours isn't an exception. It might be harder for your body to burn through calories, but it still works in the same exact way as everybody elses. From reading through this thread and soaking in everything that you have said, I think that you just need to control yourself a little more. I don't know what you eat and I don't know how you handle yourself through your daily activities, but what I do know is that you said the following...

cocoisfit said:
Yes, I am an emotional eater. Lately it seems like I eat ALL THE TIME! Bored, happy, sad, you name it. I need to find that balance and control. Next week I'm starting a food journal just to see where my calories are coming from and -gasp- how many I'm actually eating.
Click to expand...

DING DING DING!!! We have a winner!!!

You are an emotional eater. You are letting your emotions control you and your eating habits, which is more than likely the big reason as to why you are having such a struggle. What you need to do is get that control back and start taking control of your emotions; not the other way around. You, yourself, even said that you have to get that balance and control back, so it's not an issue of "WHAT do I do?" (because you obviously already know the answer to that)...it's an issue of "HOW do I do it?"

People have already said it, but I would recommend keeping a food journal. Is it silly? Yeah. Is it tedious? Yeah. But, does it help. Yuuuuup. So, I would recommend starting a log of what you eat and how you feel when you eat it. Then, every so often, take a look back and look for patterns; patterns that can give you a clear cut idea of how to make necessary changes to help you lose weight.

cocoisfit said:
Perhaps my point didn't come across well but if things were that easy we wouldn't have plateaus, for example. Or why does anorexics' weight loss halt? I wish losing weight were as easy as a simple math equation. In theory you are correct. Practically however our bodies aren't that simple.
Click to expand...

You're right. Our bodies aren't that simple. That's why you have to dig deep and bust out some willpower. It's all part of taking control, but you have to have the willpower to bust through this brick wall you seem to have hit. And, from what I can tell, you already have the willpower; now you just need to use it.

cocoisfit said:
Even robin from the howard stern show is on it. she needed the medical intervention!!
Click to expand...

I really hope this isn't why you're trying this diet of yours. I wouldn't be taking any health-related advice from Howard Stern or anybody who works for his show. I mean, who gives a shit what Robin does, you know?
 
calories in vs out?

I'm also a believer in the calorie balance equation, it's the only one that makes sense to me and the science I've come across.

The problem with the whole deal though is that it's darn near impossible to get an exact fix on just how many calories one is eating vrs burning off.

Many studies have pointed out that we over estimate how many calories we burn and how many we consume. I've had a number of clients tell me that the calorie balance deal didn't work for them, but when I took a closer look at their logs there were loads of times were the calorie counting went from being pretty exact, to an estimate to a flat out guess.

I believe in calorie balance but being able to fine tune our in take and out take is like herding cats.

my solution has been to over kill things. instead of shooting for a 500 calorie imbalance I shoot for a 1500-2000 calorie imbalance. It's a but harder to do, so I only do it a few days a week, but it's much easier for me to achieve the imbalance that way.
 
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