Were You Treated Differently After Losing A Lot of Weight?
- Thread starter JMav
- Start date
Are you losing weight for yourself or for someone else?
I'm still pretty much the same person, just less of me, so people haven't treated me differently...
The motivation should come from within yourself... and the rewards should be your own - not from what other people think...
I'm still pretty much the same person, just less of me, so people haven't treated me differently...
The motivation should come from within yourself... and the rewards should be your own - not from what other people think...
Hi Jmav,
I read your post and think it is great that you are doing this. Sometimes, maybe initially, what we use for motivation, might not be the correct reason,
Suchas we have a high school reunion, a wedding, etc... Yes, we should be doing this for ourselves, but sometimes to get us started, motivated we use another reason. The problem is when we do it for another reason besides ourselves, like the reunion, the boyfriend, girlfriend, etc... when those reasons are gone, what will keep us motivated?
Do I think you will get compliments, more stares, yep. Will that help to pump up your self esteem, yep. But once you are at your ideal wt for a length of time and people are use to it, probably wont get as compliimented, might even put on a pound or two. what will happen to your self esteem and how u feel about you? Don't base it on others. Again,it helps to get you started, it feels good to get a compliment, but don't make the mistake of using that for lifting your self esteem/self worth.
But what are the rewards that you are looking for? The compliments and other stuff that might come w/ being fit should be a bonus, but what you should really be proud of is you and your accomplishment and Your HEALTH!
As for staying motivated, sometiimes we slip up. Just get right back on the wagon.
Good luck.
I read your post and think it is great that you are doing this. Sometimes, maybe initially, what we use for motivation, might not be the correct reason,
Suchas we have a high school reunion, a wedding, etc... Yes, we should be doing this for ourselves, but sometimes to get us started, motivated we use another reason. The problem is when we do it for another reason besides ourselves, like the reunion, the boyfriend, girlfriend, etc... when those reasons are gone, what will keep us motivated?
Do I think you will get compliments, more stares, yep. Will that help to pump up your self esteem, yep. But once you are at your ideal wt for a length of time and people are use to it, probably wont get as compliimented, might even put on a pound or two. what will happen to your self esteem and how u feel about you? Don't base it on others. Again,it helps to get you started, it feels good to get a compliment, but don't make the mistake of using that for lifting your self esteem/self worth.
But what are the rewards that you are looking for? The compliments and other stuff that might come w/ being fit should be a bonus, but what you should really be proud of is you and your accomplishment and Your HEALTH!
As for staying motivated, sometiimes we slip up. Just get right back on the wagon.
Good luck.
Absolutely, the way I look at the world has completely changed after losing a lot of weight.
I went from a fat girl with a nice face to a normal sized girl with a nice face and I get so many stares and to be honest it's quite a change. Doors are held open for me, men let me in and out of lifts before them. It's very interesting to see how superficial this world is but at the same time I'm not complaining, I've worked for this and I deserve all taht comes with it.
I went from a fat girl with a nice face to a normal sized girl with a nice face and I get so many stares and to be honest it's quite a change. Doors are held open for me, men let me in and out of lifts before them. It's very interesting to see how superficial this world is but at the same time I'm not complaining, I've worked for this and I deserve all taht comes with it.
Your family and close friends will treat you the same. However, strangers will treat you completely differently.
Justified or not, society pre-judges fat people as stupid and lazy. You will notice minute behavioral changes in virtually everyone around you. You really can't understand now, but you will when you're out on the other side.
Justified or not, society pre-judges fat people as stupid and lazy. You will notice minute behavioral changes in virtually everyone around you. You really can't understand now, but you will when you're out on the other side.
manchuntd88
New member
Absolutely
I agree with everypennyspent 100% men open doors and offer to carry my things much more often, I get a lot more favors, etc. It really does annoy me though how superficial the world is so when people (especially men) do these things I get really cynical.
I agree with everypennyspent 100% men open doors and offer to carry my things much more often, I get a lot more favors, etc. It really does annoy me though how superficial the world is so when people (especially men) do these things I get really cynical.
CatsMeow
New member
I don't think anyone can deny the fact that most people, men and women included, appreciate a body that is 'well kept'. I do notice a lot more men giving me looks and smiles now that I'm an average weight for my height.
Maybe it's one of those biological things...
But having lost weight and knowing what it takes to have a healthy body I can say that effort has translated over to other aspects of my life... Not only is my body getting in great shape but my mind is less stressed, I'm more social, I take pride in my appearance and try to look my best everyday, I'm focused on going back to school and getting a better job because I'm not embarrassed to sit in class or go to an interview...
I want someone that I not only find attractive physically but that has something going on in life.
Sampson is right though... it's a social stigma, but I do have to say when I was 210lbs I was lazy and stupid for not getting off my ass and doing something about it sooner.
So when a guy smiles when I walk past I grin knowing he's checking out my ass and I've just made his day.
Maybe it's one of those biological things...
But having lost weight and knowing what it takes to have a healthy body I can say that effort has translated over to other aspects of my life... Not only is my body getting in great shape but my mind is less stressed, I'm more social, I take pride in my appearance and try to look my best everyday, I'm focused on going back to school and getting a better job because I'm not embarrassed to sit in class or go to an interview...
I want someone that I not only find attractive physically but that has something going on in life.
Sampson is right though... it's a social stigma, but I do have to say when I was 210lbs I was lazy and stupid for not getting off my ass and doing something about it sooner.
So when a guy smiles when I walk past I grin knowing he's checking out my ass and I've just made his day.
even though I am little over half way to my goal I have been not treated differently but people have payed more attention to my looks. I get compliments that I look much better or questions if I have lost weight and such. You might get better treatment from people just your new look needs to sink into them a little more. People will notice and will be checking you out more than usual thats a guaranty. You will be getting few of those weird stares from people you know cause they notice you look much better. I personally have went through that faze of loosing weight before and honestly I did get better treatment from girls in clubs first time I lost lots of weight. Lately I don't do much parting so I can't really tell if I am attracted to chicks again. Once you see it for your self and get the feeling of loosing lots of weight, you wont be looking back.
I agree with everything being written! Also another huge thing is the way I'm treated when I go shopping, when I was bigger I used to be looked over and never asked if I needed help but now when I enter a clothes shop the assistants are all over me asking if I need help and showing me the clothes they think would look good.
protectiva
New member
I am treated TOTALLY differently now that I have lost weight. And while some people may say oh it's your health that matters the most, don't lose weight for other people, and I can respect that opinion, i see its value, but personally, I am a vain mofo and it SUCKS MAJOR ASS when people don't look at in *that way* when guys (or girls, depening on what you like) don't check you out or won't even look you in the eye or you feel like you're freakin' invisible.
Since I have lost weight, I have a LOT of men paying my major compliments, holding open the door, letting me ahead in line, offering me rings, wanting to buy me things, wanting to hang out, basically always trying to get next to me, and I like that. It feels powerful. Beauty is power, especially when you are a female.
My family has certainly always been cool and loving to me no matter what size I was. I have a great and supportive family that I am very lucky to have.
Girls however, here's like a flip side thing--girls are not as nice to me. Because you can't be the cool fat wingwoman who isn't a threat, you know? One of my friends even got mad when I lost weight and got thinner than her and she accused me of hitting on her man and she flipped out and then stopped being my friend (and I was surely NOT hitting on her man because I don't roll like that). Some girls will give me dirty looks now, which sucks but at the same time I know they are jealous because I've given those looks myself and I know I do it when I'M jealous, so....
there ya go!
Since I have lost weight, I have a LOT of men paying my major compliments, holding open the door, letting me ahead in line, offering me rings, wanting to buy me things, wanting to hang out, basically always trying to get next to me, and I like that. It feels powerful. Beauty is power, especially when you are a female.
My family has certainly always been cool and loving to me no matter what size I was. I have a great and supportive family that I am very lucky to have.
Girls however, here's like a flip side thing--girls are not as nice to me. Because you can't be the cool fat wingwoman who isn't a threat, you know? One of my friends even got mad when I lost weight and got thinner than her and she accused me of hitting on her man and she flipped out and then stopped being my friend (and I was surely NOT hitting on her man because I don't roll like that). Some girls will give me dirty looks now, which sucks but at the same time I know they are jealous because I've given those looks myself and I know I do it when I'M jealous, so....
there ya go!
yeh i get alot more compliments than i did when i was big(i was close to 300..not exactly but gettin there now im 174-76) i find for myself thats just one less thing to feel selfconcious about now... i know if someone is looking at me im not thinking its cause of how fat i am haha...it makes u feel good to get positive attention from ppl you know and strangers.that keeps you going in some respects.also once u start buying new clothes that you thought you could never in your life wear it also makes you keep fit.those are superfical things in some respects but they do count id say.
as for my family i hadnt seen all immediate family for a year that i was losing weight and when i arrived in the airport this past summer...that didnt even recognize me at first.they told me they kept wondering "why that guy keeps smiling and waving at us" lol everyone was shocked then and i was at 214 then i went back at thanksgiving and everyone was even more shocked at my being even slimmer.
all in all the rewards that matter are your health and well being.just dont stop! even if you didnt lose weight for 2weeks that doesnt mean anything cause you are well on your way.but its gotta be a everyday thing..once i reach your goal it will be pretty awsome.
Holy cow, I think this is my first post on this forum...
Anyway, I notice how I'm looked at now while I'm big. I'm a 266 pound guy with a beard, and I've started walking regularly at the local track and around the block this past week (and lost 7 lbs already). I usually wear sweatpants and an LSU cap (which looks weird in NY), and I have noticed that skinny women always cross the street away from me, or leave the track if I show up and we're alone. It kind of sucks being thought of as a scary rapist, especially since I'm a feminist sociology professor. I've been overweight since I was 6, and it sucks. Sucks hard. Healthwise, and the stigma.
I'm finally doing this for health reasons, but it will be nice when people run towards me, not away.
Anyway, I notice how I'm looked at now while I'm big. I'm a 266 pound guy with a beard, and I've started walking regularly at the local track and around the block this past week (and lost 7 lbs already). I usually wear sweatpants and an LSU cap (which looks weird in NY), and I have noticed that skinny women always cross the street away from me, or leave the track if I show up and we're alone. It kind of sucks being thought of as a scary rapist, especially since I'm a feminist sociology professor. I've been overweight since I was 6, and it sucks. Sucks hard. Healthwise, and the stigma.
I'm finally doing this for health reasons, but it will be nice when people run towards me, not away.