Weight Obsession Around Friends

Llamabean

Llamabean

New member
I've been on my diet for about a month, only I haven't talked with many people about it. Now that I'm starting to see results, I'm really excited and am spending more time trying new recipes and exercises.

My trouble is, I am so jazzed and a lot of my thoughts and efforts are going into this, so I want to talk about it. But I'm embarrassed, and don't really want to bring up weight. I mean, what can they say besides "Good for you"? Not much of a conversation. I'd also kind of like to know when it's noticeable, and am secretly waiting for the day when a friend who didn't know I was dieting says something.

I also am going to be going on a first date in a few days to play a game in a store in the mall. The game runs 6 hours, so we will be eating and the typical fare at the game is Cheetos and mt. dew, then a burger break. Normally I don't mind going off and getting my own thing, but "I'm trying to lose weight" is a bummer of an awkward first date topic. How do I handle it?

How have you handled this?
 
It's tough for me to talk about anything else right now too; I am also very excited, and everytime I learn something new, or cross another milestone, I want to share it with everybody!

As to the first date thing, I haven't been on one...but I would be honest to a point. I would simply say, "I'm trying to eat a little healthier, want to join me?"
 
^ Good idea...maybe you can also bring some alternatives in your purse so that when the cheetos start flying you can pull out your healthy snack. Also, diet mountain dew has 0 calories! Or maybe you can have some cheetos but just be really careful.
 
Congrats on your weight loss! :D

IMHO, you should be very careful who you approach the subject of weight loss to. Sometimes jealousy motivates people to say discouraging things or you can end up with a bunch of busy bodies in your business telling you how much you should (or should not) lose or why your diet isn't "good enough." Talking to a good (and confident) supportive friend who knows how much this means to you would be a good start, but be careful about overdoing it. :) Established health nuts/atheletes are also fun to talk to about weight loss, but don't be surprised if they chat your ear off back on. :D

With your date, don't sweat the dinner. If you guys hit it off, chances are you'll both be a bit nervous or too chatty to eat--plus a lot of guys usually don't notice that kind of thing. To be on the safe side, though, make sure you pay for your own meal as some may find it rude if you don't eat a meal they've paid for.

If your date tries to bring up that you haven't eaten everything on your plate, tell him you're a slow eater. If your date keeps offering you food, tell him, "Thank you! That looks really good. I'll have some later." This will satisfy his desire to share and usually when "later" comes, he'll have forgotten about it (or you can repeat it again). It's way better than saying "No thanks, I'm watching my weight" (most guys don't usually care to talk about this sort of thing--especially on a date). This tactic also works on pushy moms and mother-in-laws. :D
 
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Impish said:
If your date tries to bring up that you haven't eaten everything on your plate, tell him you're a slow eater. If your date keeps offering you food, tell him, "Thank you! That looks really good. I'll have some later." This will satisfy his desire to share and usually when "later" comes, he'll have forgotten about it (or you can repeat it again). It's way better than saying "No thanks, I'm watching my weight" (most guys don't usually care to talk about this sort of thing--especially on a date). This tactic also works on pushy moms and mother-in-laws. :D
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Thanks! That's good advice. I sure don't care to talk about it on a date either. Talk about uncomfortable!
 
Thanks everybody for responding. I'm doing my best to keep my successes to a few close friends. I'll let the others figure it out when I get smaller :)

I've started carrying dried strawberries in my purse. Since I dry them at home, I know there are no artificial sweeteners, and I can eat all I want and never hit 100 calories. And I'll sneak in my own diet mt. dew :)

Thanks for the great advice everybody!
 
Just be yourself. If you're in this for a lifestyle change (which I hope you are) you have a lifetime of good eating habit choices in front of you so it's best to learn to stand your ground and show others this is who you are and this is how you roll.

As far as the noticable part, it will come and you will love it (we all do) just stay patient and honor your plan and goals.

Dates will come and go, but your body is the only one you get. :) ;)
 
I know exactly what you mean about the friends part of it. It's the same with me (though I haven't started losing too much weight yet).
But the thing is that if you meet your friends pretty often, which I assume you do, they may not notice the difference because losing weight is a slow, gradual thing. On the other hand, if you meet someone who hasn't seen you in ages and they remember you well enough, chances are they'll notice the difference.
Don't be discouraged if your friends don't say anything about it yet. :p
 
I don't think there's anything wrong with letting your date know that you're trying to eat more healthy foods, that doesn't necessarily equate to, "I"m on a diet." What's the difference between that and, "No thanks, I'm a vegetarian" or "I don't eat pork." While it is true that men like confident women and saying you're on a diet is viewed as "she's got body issues," I think it is respectable to say that you don't want to eat a bunch of junk, diet or no diet.

I've dated men who readily told me on the first date, "I don't eat pork" when we got to the local pizzeria. Granted he doesn't want to hear the ends and outs of your diet and how much you want to loose, but I think there's something powerful, if not sexy even, about a person who is not ashamed about the fact that they are trying to treat their body like the temple that it is.

I've found that even in mall food courts and the like, that if you look really hard, you can find a slightly healthier (Is that a word? lol) alternative. A grilled chicken sandwich versus a burger and leaving off all the extra condiments. You can make it look effortless if you scan your options before hand and already have your game plan figured out. I try to look at the menus before I go places and make up my mind before I leave home, that way I'm not tempted by hunger or my friend's influences (didn't work for the Cheesecake Factory but that's another story lol).

And even if you mess up a little, it's ok...don't beat yourself up about it. Just start anew the following day. Have a great time on your date. :)
 
Oops, forgot to address the friends part.

I talk about my weight loss efforts all the time, the great new ways to prepare food that I've found and exercise, etc. My friends, some of which need to loose some weight as well, sometimes get annoyed but I've found that because they love me they do try to support me most of the time. When I'm invited over for dinner, they comment on how they altered the way something was prepared in order to not sabotage me and a few of them have even started walking regulary.

They may not want to talk about it as much as you, but give them a chance. If you share your goals and how committed you are they may just help. Mine didn't start out to be helpful, at first I got cookies and stuff pushed at me but after they saw I was serious they (some of them) slowly changed how they approached and ate around me.
 
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I find that people notice your weight-loss when you least expect the comments---which makes you feel super special!

Today two people said something about me looking like I've lost weight, totally didn't expect it but boy did I enjoy it!!!
 
Thanks for the encouragement everybody!

I am going through the nutritional information at the mall. I bet I can find some sort of lower calorie meal at the place we stop. I'll just pretend like I really wanted the chicken & mushrooms rather than the sweet & sour :)

I'll be sure to post back and let you all know when I get my first comment. I rarely have seen a message board as supportive as this one, thanks everybody!
 
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