Weight Loss for Children

leaner

leaner

New member
I was wondering if anyone has any information on weight loss for children. (12 year old boy) I have sole custody of my son and he visits his mom 8 weeks out of the year in another state.

He just returned from a 6 week summer visit and gained 24 lbs. while with his mom. He has been a little over weight the last two years, but this last gain has pushed him into the obese weight range.

He is 4'10" and now weighs 146.

I was so upset and sad that his mom let this happen. I asked her to please watch his diet and portions, and explained our diet. I told her that we had been working on this and that he had maintained his weight of 122 lbs. for seven months, hoping he'd grow into his weight.

I feed him whole foods, egg whites, whole grain bread, nonfat milk, lean turkey, chicken, fish, brown rice, vegetables, soup, lots of water, fruit, small amounts of fruit juice and nuts. No soda, no fast food, no french fries and very limited sugar.

Some of the things that I don't let him have, which he told me he ate while visiting his mom included: fast food, Jack in the Box, McDonalds, Burger King, A&W, KFC, Sonic, smoothies w/ sugar, chips, flamin hot chitos, candy, skittles, cookie dough bites, starburst, root beer, coke, hot chocolate, pastries, donuts, cookies, cake, sour squirts, sweet tarts, green goo, ice cream, rock stars, pizza, carmel apple cider, orange soda, m&m's, blizzard, hershey's cookie & cream, milky way, ben & jerry's bannana split, reeces mcflurry, french fries, cheese sticks, iced mocha, coffee, peanut butter & chocolate pie, sausage, bacon, chili cheese fries, soft pretzel, arizonas, etc.

So anyway, I know he's 12 and he needs to take some responsibility here too. I am not happy with his mom right now though, and she needs to help more when he is visiting. When he is in school when I do the wash I find candy wrappers and stuff from other kids in his pockets. So he needs to start making better choices on his own too. He's had junk food here too, but very limited.

When I saw him without a shirt on it made me so sad for him. He's handsome, athletic and popular and I just don't want him to have to struggle with his weight.

We are now going to work on this together. I'm sticking with the diet I listed of whole foods. I'm going to pack his school lunches. I've been counting calories for myself and teaching him what I know. We've been going on hikes, swimming, playing basketball together, and he's been hitting the treadmill while watching a movie at home. He plays soccer, baseball, basketball and football too. (not sure if he'll play football this year)

I'm trying to be careful of his self esteem without ignoring that there is a problem. I'm not sure how many calories he needs. Any ideas? I have been at 1800 and he has been about the same as me when he is home. I have read that kids should not count their calories, but since I write down everything that I eat, I know what he's having when he's with me. He hasn't had a growth spurt like his classmates in the last year, so I'm sure when that comes it will be a big help.

If anyone has any advice on weight loss for this age group please let me know. Sorry for such a long post! Thanks for reading if you made it this far.
 
I don't really have any advice (as I'm not a parent so I don't really have a position to speak from) but I hope I can give you some encouragement. I wanted to say that if I'd had a parent like you when I was his age, I would probably be a much healthier person today. Your son is really, really lucky to have you caring about his well-being so much. :) I wanted to thank you for being that for him because I know the consequences of not being reasonably controlled as a child (I was 150 lbs by the time I was 13).
 
I know a couple who let their kids get BIG and now they're losing weight and they're kids are getting bigger, so it's a good thing you're able to look after him so well. All I can add is still let him be a kid occasionally and eat SOME junk food... just not much
 
As I don't feel qualified to give advice on this subject, I think this article may help you :)



In essence, kids should not diet. If they eat healthy foods, and exercise, and do not eat massive amounts, they will eventually reach a healthy BMI. It is important to be sure they get the calories they need while their body is growing.
 
I was an overweight child. I was normal sized until about first grade where I was a little chubby and then by the time I hit third grade (age 10) I weighed 119 pounds. Not sure how tall I was at the time, but I don't think I hit 5 feet until about 5th grade.

Anyway, my parents enrolled me in this weightloss program designed for children that was in the area. It was an excellent facility that had nutritionists and trainers. It helped so much to see other kids that were overweight like me. I don't think my parents or I counted my calories, I know I certainly didn't. But I remember we made lots of swaps like changing from whole milk to 1% and from regular mayo to low-fat. Those are things that I continued ever since then, in fact drinking whole milk usually results in throwing up because it's too rich. I also ate lots of chicken and broccolli and other veggies. We would go to the facility once a week and weigh-in. I think the aim was to lose a pound a week, which I usually had no problem doing. The rest of the day at the facility was spent exercising. Fun things like going for walks and kid-friendly aerobics. I even had little pink 1 pound weights! This all took place in the summer, and by the time fourth grade started I looked and felt a million times better. I weighed about 95 pounds.

As I am now 24 years old, I look back on this experience and I am so thankful to my parents for enrolling me in that program and helping me lose weight. I am still dealing with weight issues, but I was able to finish going through school not as a fat kid. (It's only since I've graduated college that I've put on the weight I have now.) It's so long ago but I remember pretty clearly how awful it felt to be made fun of. It helped me to realize who were my true friends though.

I think it's excellent that you're actively helping your child lose weight. If you could find out if such a program exists in your area, I think their help would be invaluable.
 
My son has been home 9 days and already lost 7 pounds!
This was just from eating right and exercising.

We drink water only w/ maybe one glass of nonfat milk per day. We both have had about 1800 calories or less per day. Breakfast has been egg whites, lean turkey & a whole wheat tortilla. Lunch has been a protein shake or small tuna sandwich on whole wheat. Dinner has been salmon, lean turkey or skinless chicken w/ vegetables. Snacks have been nuts, fruit, yogurt or vegetables.

We lift weights together 30 min. per day and do some sort of exercise for an hour per day. (basketball, walking dog, hiking, mtn. biking or treadmill)

He complains a lot and I have to keep him motivated to try his best, but he's doing great.

I was surprised that he lost so much weight.

One interesting thing that happened was a friend of his came over to play and brought two large Arizona drinks. (Those are 24 oz. drinks in tall cans that are sweetened with high fructose corn syrup and are 300 calories per can) My son was ready to drink it, and I suggested sticking to water, which he did reluctantly. I just put the other drink in our fridge. The next day his friend's mom came over to pick up her son and she brought me a couple Miller Lights. I opened one and had a few sips. Then the two of them went home.

When she left I told my son that there is a lot of temptation out there, and that the hardest part for us is going to be when we are around other people and still make good decisions. I poured my opened beer out in the sink and told him I messed up my diet a little too. Then I got out the other beer she brought and the Arizona that was still in the fridge and we poured them down the sink together. (He took a quick sip) I thought that was a good lesson. Then he went in the fridge and found a Corona I had and said, "Oh here's another one to pour out." LOL

It is hard making the right health decisions at 40, it must be even harder when you're 12. I'm going to have to figure out a good way to deal with all of the candy and junk food he gets at school before the school year starts. I've also decide to pack him a lunch every day this year, since the school lunches aren't the healthiest.

Overall, he's off to a great start and he's feeling great about his progress.
 
Leaner, your post really made me smile, it sounds like you two are doing brilliantly and have a wonderful relationship.

I hope things get better and better for you both.
 
make sure your son is getting enough calcium :) the teens are the years when we build up most of our calcium in our body...so it is really important. He should be having 3-4 servings of Milk and Alternatives each day.
 
leaner said:
I was wondering if anyone has any information on weight loss for children. (12 year old boy) I have sole custody of my son and he visits his mom 8 weeks out of the year in another state.

He just returned from a 6 week summer visit and gained 24 lbs. while with his mom. He has been a little over weight the last two years, but this last gain has pushed him into the obese weight range.

He is 4'10" and now weighs 146.

I was so upset and sad that his mom let this happen. I asked her to please watch his diet and portions, and explained our diet. I told her that we had been working on this and that he had maintained his weight of 122 lbs. for seven months, hoping he'd grow into his weight.

I feed him whole foods, egg whites, whole grain bread, nonfat milk, lean turkey, chicken, fish, brown rice, vegetables, soup, lots of water, fruit, small amounts of fruit juice and nuts. No soda, no fast food, no french fries and very limited sugar.

Some of the things that I don't let him have, which he told me he ate while visiting his mom included: fast food, Jack in the Box, McDonalds, Burger King, A&W, KFC, Sonic, smoothies w/ sugar, chips, flamin hot chitos, candy, skittles, cookie dough bites, starburst, root beer, coke, hot chocolate, pastries, donuts, cookies, cake, sour squirts, sweet tarts, green goo, ice cream, rock stars, pizza, carmel apple cider, orange soda, m&m's, blizzard, hershey's cookie & cream, milky way, ben & jerry's bannana split, reeces mcflurry, french fries, cheese sticks, iced mocha, coffee, peanut butter & chocolate pie, sausage, bacon, chili cheese fries, soft pretzel, arizonas, etc.

So anyway, I know he's 12 and he needs to take some responsibility here too. I am not happy with his mom right now though, and she needs to help more when he is visiting. When he is in school when I do the wash I find candy wrappers and stuff from other kids in his pockets. So he needs to start making better choices on his own too. He's had junk food here too, but very limited.

When I saw him without a shirt on it made me so sad for him. He's handsome, athletic and popular and I just don't want him to have to struggle with his weight.

We are now going to work on this together. I'm sticking with the diet I listed of whole foods. I'm going to pack his school lunches. I've been counting calories for myself and teaching him what I know. We've been going on hikes, swimming, playing basketball together, and he's been hitting the treadmill while watching a movie at home. He plays soccer, baseball, basketball and football too. (not sure if he'll play football this year)

I'm trying to be careful of his self esteem without ignoring that there is a problem. I'm not sure how many calories he needs. Any ideas? I have been at 1800 and he has been about the same as me when he is home. I have read that kids should not count their calories, but since I write down everything that I eat, I know what he's having when he's with me. He hasn't had a growth spurt like his classmates in the last year, so I'm sure when that comes it will be a big help.

If anyone has any advice on weight loss for this age group please let me know. Sorry for such a long post! Thanks for reading if you made it this far.
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My advice is to just try and teach your son how to eat healthily and do your best to get him to avoid eating like crap when he visits his mother. He's 12...there's only so much you can do.

Also, if it continues to be a problem, I'm sure you can complain to the courts about it and get some kind of legal enforcement help. Don't take my word for it, as I'm not a lawyer or anything - it's just a suggestion.

No matter what - he's your son - do what you have to do in order to take care of him.
 
My son just had an idea to hook up his wii video game system to the tv in front of the treadmill. I just helped him set it up, and thought it was a great idea. The rule is no games unless you're walking, and he was fine with it. This will make the treadmill more fun for me to.
 
leaner said:
My son just had an idea to hook up his wii video game system to the tv in front of the treadmill. I just helped him set it up, and thought it was a great idea. The rule is no games unless you're walking, and he was fine with it. This will make the treadmill more fun for me to.
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so he is playing video games while on the treadmill? to be honest that sounds dangerous to me.
 
It's not dangerous, it's actually very safe and easy. I played a basketball game while walking 3 mph on a 3% incline and it was fun. At no point did I feel like it was unsafe. I wouldn't recommend trying to sprint while playing a game, that would near impossible. A slow to moderate walk is something that we can do without even thinking about, it is like breathing. Watching movies is similar, but playing a video game really makes the time go by quickly on a treadmill. I just thought my son had a great idea. He walked for an hour last night playing a game and I didn't even have to ask him to do it.
 
Oh goodness...this is such a hard topic. One word of advice - please please please don't push him too hard. My parents did that to me and it gave me food issues for the next 20 years! I think the best thing you can do is lead by example. Eat what he eats, don't do the whole "Do as I say, not as I do" thing because that's quite hypocritical (I'm not saying that you do that, it just wanted to point out that many parents do). Be more physically active with him in fun ways (if you guys have a wii you're on to a good thing together! :D). And teach him that it's ok to splurge every once in a while, maybe just in smaller portions. Take him out for a chocolate frozen yogurt every once in a while. Eating healthy doesn't have to be a drag and it shouldn't be all about deprivation. My parents cut out anything and everything that was deemed "unhealthy" and it made it so that all I could think about was what I wasn't allowed to have. In order to have anything that actually tasted good I had to resort to sneaking food. And in the end I became morbidly obese by the time I was 15. So please don't push him too hard or cut out every little thing that is unhealthy for him. Teach him moderation but that life isn't about deprivation.

Anyway, that's just my two cents from one who was pretty traumatized by her parents' "well meaning" attempts to control her weight. It sounds like you're a very loving father and I'm glad to see you asking for help on such a hard subject. Too many parents are too proud to seek help when it comes to their kids, thinking it makes them seem "weak" or somehow unable to be a "proper parent" if they seek help on something. Sometimes the best thing you can do for your kids is asking for advice when it comes to them. :)
 
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I hope I'm not pushing him too hard, but I don't think I am.

I am showing him by example, and I don't force him to do anything either.
We eat the same meals and I actually do more exercise and weight training than him. I ask him each day if he wants to lift weights or exercise, and he always does. He also does his own physical activities of course, like school sports and playing with his friends.

He gained 24 pounds visiting his mom over the summer in 6 weeks. He's lost 10 pounds in three weeks since he's been back home. I think that says a lot about his environment and diet. He bench pressed 100 lbs. for the first time today and was so proud of himself and that he's lost 10 lbs.

The only treats we really have at our house are dark chocolate, fruit, yogurt, protein shakes and cliff bars.

I've had an issue with him getting cookies, candy, soda, ice cream, fast food, etc. when he visits his mom, from neighbors and kids at school. People have the idea that kids deserve that crap or they are somehow deprived without it. I see it as being what caused him to become obese, and not needed at all. It is part of the problem. I'm trying to teach him to make the right decisions when I'm not around. That's the hard part, and the key to his success.

You're right it is a hard topic. I just feel the worst thing that I could do is sit back and do nothing, and watch him keep gaining weight. I think it is better that he knows he's got a problem, but also know that he can fix it with some hard work and wise choices.
 
leaner said:
I am showing him by example, and I don't force him to do anything either.
We eat the same meals and I actually do more exercise and weight training than him. I ask him each day if he wants to lift weights or exercise, and he always does. He also does his own physical activities of course, like school sports and playing with his friends.

That's awesome! I'm glad you're on this journey with him. :) And it sounds like he's making some good choices for himself too.

He gained 24 pounds visiting his mom over the summer in 6 weeks. He's lost 10 pounds in three weeks since he's been back home. I think that says a lot about his environment and diet.

Yeah, I think it's pretty clear that his mother could be more helpful and vigilant in this situation. Perhaps a civilized sit down and discussion about it would be helpful. If she's not on board it's going to make things that much harder and it will be confusing to your son to bounce back and forth from healthy eating environment to a toxic one.

The only treats we really have at our house are dark chocolate, fruit, yogurt, protein shakes and cliff bars.

I think it's good that you have healthy treats! :)

I've had an issue with him getting cookies, candy, soda, ice cream, fast food, etc. when he visits his mom, from neighbors and kids at school. People have the idea that kids deserve that crap or they are somehow deprived without it. I see it as being what caused him to become obese, and not needed at all. It is part of the problem. I'm trying to teach him to make the right decisions when I'm not around. That's the hard part, and the key to his success.

Bottom line is that that "crap" is what kids like, heck it's what most people like, regardless of age. Does this mean we should have it in the house - hell no! lol But does it mean that it's ok to have it every once in a while, sure, as long as it's in moderation. By making it clear to him that certain foods like cookies, candy, soda, ice cream, etc are off limits that will only make him want it more. But by letting him know that he can have it if he really really wants it every once in a while you will teach him self control and that he doesn't have to be afraid of certain foods. Also, slowly phasing that stuff out of his life and diet is what will help change his pallet, so that he will start to no longer desire that stuff.

I used to love cupcakes, they where my favorite, but I started eating healthier and eventually after about a year of eating healthier and eating less and less sweets I got to the point where I don't even enjoy sweets anymore. Now when I try to eat sweets it feels like the sugar burns the back of my throat. Now I have no desire at all to eat that stuff, and I never in a million years thought that I'd hate cupcakes when they used to be my favorite "food". The same thing happened with fast food. It's been over a year now since I've had any fast food. But I know if I hadn't slowly phased the junk food out of my life and had tried instead to go "cold turkey" it would not have been successful. I would have craved that which I was denied and would eventually have given up on trying to eat healthier. And I know that for a fact because that's how it always went in the past. The slow phasing out of the junk was, for me, what finally got me off that stuff. Knowing that I could always have it later if I wanted it was what kept me on the straight and narrow, sometimes I'd have it later, sometimes I wouldn't, but as long as I knew the option was there I didn't feel deprived, so I had no desire to "fall off the wagon". Until soon I just didn't want the junk food at all.

You're right it is a hard topic. I just feel the worst thing that I could do is sit back and do nothing, and watch him keep gaining weight. I think it is better that he knows he's got a problem, but also know that he can fix it with some hard work and wise choices.
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I think you're awesome to be doing something to help your son. :) You're right, the worst thing would be to do nothing. But by teaching by example, hopefully those lessons on how to eat healthy, eat in moderation, and be physically active will stay with him for life.
 
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