Weighing In at 276

Hey cshani,

Sorry you're feeling grumpy - I feel somewhat low myself. It's getting pretty hot over here (well, except yesterday when it rained and I laughed at everyone's sad faces) and I don't like the heat too.

Saying goodbye isn't easy - you're cruelly divorced from what you know, and it's scary to have to do something different. But you'll be fine. As you yourself said, you quit for the right reasons so you'll get used to it soon enough....

I laughed when I read about how you hate broccoli, spinach, etc. I laughed because I felt the same way when I first started, years ago. Don't rush yourself - your body has to gradually become used to good stuff like vegetables. For the past couple of days I've felt ill and lethargic, and I think this is purely down to my not eating enough vegetables and fruits like I usually do. But my body wasn't always this way. Maybe it's mental, but I think your body knows the difference. It will eventually get used to it, and then crave it, since it's the good stuff.

I'm really glad you're losing so much weight and keeping motivated about things. Now isn't a great time for me but I'm determined to remain healthy, so it's cool you're doing the same. I'm off to find some healthy food now for dinner so keep up with the hard (and very good) work.
 
I love your "what I like" lists. I also admire your bravery and commitment in penciling your outline on your wall. The walls will be o.k. - the Mr. Clean magic eraser will definately work. You do a good job of trying to think positive or find positives even when you are low. Keep it up, positive thinking will definately help you along the way. Your positive thinking is helping me, anyway :)

I know what you mean about feeling bummed when the weather warms up. I love to be outside, but heat can be a drag. For me, I don't like worrying about having no way to hide my extra flesh - especially because in warm weather I constantly notice so many fit people looking good in body-skimming cothes. For some reason I find that discouraging, though I know I shouldn't. Day by day, we're getting there.
 
Hi Rho~

Thank you for the kind words.

I love that you laughed at the folks who don't like rain. Ha Ha Ha Ha that's really funny. I love the rain ... and the fog.

Have you ever been to London? People say it's gloomy but I wonder if it really is. I can only rely on the opinions of those who like the rain. Oh the rain.

It's sooooo good to hear that veggies will beome tastier :) I really wish I liked them more. Until then it's apples apples apples.

I hope you had a good dinner and feel better today.

Hi Slimmon~

Thank you for the compliments.

After reading your note about being self-concious when it gets hot because of clothing, I wondered if that's really why I hate the heat.

As a kid I didn't care what the weather was like I just wanted to have fun. I'll be more aware of my thoughts as the weather gets nicer.

It's true too. We should not feel discouraged, we are working hard to change our (seemingly veryhabits.

Wow! Thank goodness the magic eraser will work. I haven't purchased one yet ... I figured the worst that could happen was I'd have to paint that wall.

Which reminds me - I saw the nastiest spider in the window last night. (shivers)
Haneously ugly.

I killed an equally scary looking spider last week which kind of made me sad. I had decided not to kill bugs anymore.

What if they have conversations and families and dreams? LOL

How do I know?

So I thought I'd put the bugs and spiders outside or leave them alone. But that big one last week scared me and I smashed it before it crawled away.

Which makes me think about how I feel about puppies.

Puppies are so cute. Kittens and babies too. When they grow up however, they're OK but not that cuddly cuteness they once were.

The round-a-bout connection is that little spiders don't bother me. I think they're cute. Big ones I smash. Puppies, kittens and babies are cute but I don't smash them just 'cause they're bigger.

Anyhow ...

I had another realization.

In the history of my grocery shopping I have never waited until I ate most of my food before getting more. I used to really like the look of a fully stocked refrigerator and cabinets.

Currently I'm down to a can of soup, a can of garbanzo beans, some carrots, condiments, spices, oh a bag of chips (which I almost forgot about because they don't taste all that good) and some tea.

I'm gonna eat the garbano beans and soup with some chips for dinner.

Tomorrow morning I'll shop. I have a list.

Today I like

That I made myself exercise yesterday instead of just going to bed.

That there's a tasty looking cake in the fridge (I'm at work) and I haven't gone near it.

I learned how to say, "I need your help" instead of spending a lot of time getting frustrated trying to figure something out myself.

Yay.
 
Hi Cshani,

I am new here and just wanted to say hello and that I enjoy reading your diary. You have a very natural and open way of writing, I admire that. One thing that struck me is when you went out to the mexican restaurant for you friends B-Day. You commented that when you eat with other people you can eat less and feel satisfied; and when you eat alone you eat more. Do you think it's because you feel less self-conscious when you eat alone, ore do you think you might feel happier when you eat with other people (more conversation, less focus on just the food, etc)?

Thanks,
:)

PS: I understand what you said about feeling sort of sad about saying goodbye to a job even though you didn't like it...
 
Hi Twiggy,

Thank you for reading my diary and thanks for the compliment.

You asked an excellent question that I haven't considered. Do I eat more when I'm alone because I feel less self-conscious?

Without thinking about the answer much, I'd say that I eat more when I'm alone probably because I'm loney and would rather eat with others.

You're right about enjoying the company and conversation.

Wow. I'll have to ponder that some more.

It's nice to hear other people have experienced feeling sad about leaving somewhere they didn't even like. What a weird feeling. I hope it goes away soon.

Anyhow,

Happy Wednesday
 
Happy Monday,

I ate like a pig this weekend ... well not the whole weekend. Friday night and all day Saturday.

Friday night to Saturday night food intake Inventory:

6 white cupcakes with chocolate frosting
6 waffles
butter and jam on the waffles
8 flour tortillas
1 container of sour cream
1 bag of shredded cheddar cheese
1 can of pinto beans
1 can of small olives
about 1/4 cup each of shredded carrots and cabbage
about 1/4 cup of lettuce
salsa calories don't count
a club sandwich from Wendy's
1 medium coke one
2 large lemon poppyseed cookies with frosting


Friday started out great. I ate salad for breakfast, had some apples for snack ... I think I've been eating too few calories!

When I got off work I went right to the store and bought flour tortillas and ingredients for making burritos - then proceeded to devour about half my shopping order as soon as I got home.

Saturday I ate the whole day through. About 8 pm I ate the last cupcake of the 6 pack and felt kind of sick. I waited an hour then jumped on my rebounder for an hour.

The people magazine with women who have lost 100 pounds or more interested me. I got the previous "100 pound losers" issue. The articles are never as in depth as I would like.

This one, however, gave me information that I started using on Saturday night.

5 out of the 6 (I think it was 6) women who lost all that weight did it by running and eating right.

I'm not a runner, but I like mock-running on my rebounder.

I read about each women and her eating habits then decided to adopt the eating plan of the one I most identify with. The eater. She eats 2 cups of fruit for breakfast every day. Nice.

Then I looked at the exercise schedules. Almost all of them run but I don't want to run 10 miles a day. One lady runs 1 hour a day so on Saturday I started my program.

1 full hour of rebounding. Exhausting.

I decided that I don't like doing the full hour at once. Sunday I did 1/2 hour in the morning and then evening.

This morning I did 1/2 hour again.

My abs are sore. Cool.

I'm wondering if I could handle 1 cheat meal a week (Thursday dinner sounds good) and then one cheat weekend a month ... Thursday would be excluded that week.

It seems I "need" to get some goodies once in a while but can I just have the couple days and not go hog wild for a week or two weeks?

When I look at my Friday night Saturday food intake inventory it does look better than previous weekend long binges. And those used to last Friday through Monday morning.

I could pack away an entire 2 layer cake, a medium pizza, two boxes of ceral and almost a gallon of milk, a big jar of cheese dip and almost 2 bags of chips, at least 3 fast food runs, several sodas ... not a veggie in sight, nor one gram of fiber.

Yeah, I think I'm improving.

I really need to get more water though. And cut down on the salt.

Today I like

that I didn't eat any hamburger or fries or regular cola this weekend.
that I made myself exercise instead of throwing in the towel just because I ate a lot of food.
I got up when I woke up instead of lying in bed until the alarm went off, which 90% of the time leads to staying in bed until I have only enough time to get ready but not enough time to eat breakfast or get a lunch together, or organize anything ...
 
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Hey cshani,

It's really cool of you to be so honest with yourself, and with everything. Keep it up.. :)
 
Hi Rho!

Thanks for the compliment!

When you read my post I was only half way done with it. I had to add to the food list. :(

Did you have a good weekend? I hope so.

I'll go check your diary to see.

:) Have a good Monday.
 
Hey cshani,

What's rebounding?

Do you like fruit? I don't think I could have 2 cups of fruit for breakfast. It sounds like punishment to me but I guess some people also think muesli (which I love) is disgusting so one man's meat, I guess..

I think there's really something about doing a food inventory. I just posted on how I went on a food bender this weekend as I was stuck at home working on my project, and I keep beating myself for not being more disciplined. Still, I can only learn my lesson and move on.

I'm off from work this week so I'll hopefully have a bit more time to myself, and can update my diary more. Have a great Monday :)
 
Hi cshani,
How's your week going?

I just wrote a really long entry here and then accidentally deleted it. Sigh. (I copied Mishi's "sigh" because I love it).

Anyway, I'll recreate the gist of it, which was a response to Twiggy's really excellent question:

cshani said:
Do I eat more when I'm alone because I feel less self-conscious?

Without thinking about the answer much, I'd say that I eat more when I'm alone probably because I'm loney and would rather eat with others.
Click to expand...

I recently noticed that my eating is very different depending on who I'm with. Yes, I often eat a lot when I'm alone and I especially overeat when I'm lonely. I know I've got the whole husband/kid thing going on, but I still suffer from loneliness off and on.

But, more interesting to me is that I eat so much better when I'm around healthy eaters. I see them stopping eating or choosing smaller portions and it's like out of the blue I'm reminded that I can eat and be satisfied without stuffing myself. I'm working on reminding myself of this on my own.

I also noticed that yesterday when I was with a close friend and fellow over-eater I randomly dropped the ball and let myself eat a dessert I wouldn't have eaten had I been alone. Why did I abandon my plan so quickly? Why was I self-conscious about being healthy around an overeating friend? What's my damage?

Thanks for letting me ramble in your diary . . . hope to see you back soon!
 
Hi cshani! I know you're around here because you've popped into my diary. Tell us how your journey is going . . . . good, bad, great, awful . . . that's what we're here for. We miss you!
 
Hello and happy Wednesday!

I've been super busy at work. Yay. But even my 72 wpm typing skills haven't allowed me to get a message on here.

Today I've got about 6 minutes so here goes:

Thanks for checking up on me slimmom!

I've been doing well execise wise but the eating has been hit or miss.

I'm bouncing on my little trampoline regularly. One hour every other day and 1/2 hour plus stretching or dynaband stuff every other.

Exercising seems like it will be a part of my lifestyle ...

Food journaling. I must get myself to food journal. Of course I know what I'm eating but like I said it's hit or miss.

Salad, All-Bran, beans, apple slices = good

Fast food twice this week, ice cream, nachos, lemon zinger cake = bad

Oh my gosh and the water! I have not been drinking water ... well 2 cups at most these past couple of weeks.

Holy heck!

The plan is to write a list of all my favorite foods. Then add the healthy stuff I like enough to eat 2 - 3 times a week.

Then I'll create a menu for myself with the help of my people magazines last two issues of "They Lost Over 100 pounds", the "Eat Dinner For Breakfast" plan, and the "Fat Flush Diet"

I want to incorporate all the do-able parts of each diet and see if any of them work for me.

Eliminating bread and sugar is not do-able for me. I hate it hate it hate it. And dairy?!

Maybe eating that stuff during the breakfast meal will make it easier to cut way down.

Oh the restrictions ...

Anyway, I haven't gained any weight. Yay! My clothes are still getting baggier. Yay! My hair do's are improving (less fussing & more accepting the wild curliness).

I need to read past posts of my journal to see what diet tricks I've tried that didn't work for me ...
 
Welcome back!
Great job on the exercise :) great job on getting your clothes a little baggier :) :) I love the accepting the wild curliness of your locks :) :) :) and for the eating, people kept gently suggesting that I log what I ate into fitday.com. It took me several weeks before I did it, and I only do it off and on, but it's an amazing tool . . . Good luck to you!
 
Hey cshani,

I hope you're doing alright. I don't want you thinking you're not doing well because you have the odd splurges. The fact is you're embarking on a massive life change. To be honest it might be easier for you to cut out things one at a time. Cutting out hordes of foods is a bit of a shock to your system, which means you might end up splurging big time.

I really like the progress you've made so far - you really should be proud of yourself. Try to keep a bottle of water close to you at all times - it helps when I'm really busy at work and don't have time to even get up to get some water.

Doesn't it feel great when your clothes get bigger? I'm officially down to a size 18 (euro 46) now from a 20. To say I am thrilled would be a massive understatement. You should look forward to when you're fitting into smaller clothes.

Anyways, keep on keeping on, and let us know how you're getting on. :)
 
Hey Slimmom

I just wanted to say congrats, u r almost overweight instead of obese according to ur BMI...go y:hug2: :jump: :doh: :rotflmao: ou!
 
Hi Rho and Slimmom~

Yeah, baggier clothes are making me really excited.

I've been getting up early and jumping on my little trampoline because I can't wait to get into that smaller size!

That's an excellent idea about always having water at hand. It seems my problem is getting away from my desk to get some water. Ah water bottle.

So, the pants I'm wearing right now, a few weeks ago my behind filled the back completely. Today they're so baggy my butt looks flatt. LOL

Rho that's so cool you're out of the 20s! So great! And soon you'll be in the hundreds. Can you believe it?!

I'll be so excited when I get there ... I don't know what.

The scale hasn't moved much ... a pound down ... a pound up. And my stomach hasn't gotten any smaller. I think my face and backside are benefitting most from the rebounding. How weird.

Fitday.com.

Thank you so much Slimmom for the site. I'm going to go look at it now for inspiration.

I hope y'all are having a good week!
 
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the scale will move - sounds like measurements are absolutely moving in the right direction just give it some time and be consistant :D you're getting there...
 
Hey cshani,

I like your excitement about getting healthier and moving in the right direction. I think it's really cool when one decides to take their life by the horns and steer it in the direction they want it to go in, which is what you're doing. There's a million little things that'll help you on your path to healthier living (such as yes, keeping a bottle of water close to hand), and you'll slowly incorporate these into your lifestyle so it will get easier!

I tend to keep fruit and nuts with me so I know that if I need a snack it's either of the two, and not biscuits in the office kitchen. But it took a while for me to learn something so simple. But life is a journey, and I guess we all learn that. Dont' worry about the fat not coming off your stomach for now. I (personally) think that you lose fat from where you last gained it (so if your stomach was the first to grow then it'll be the last thing to disappear completely). What's your exercise plan like? I hope the rebounding's going ok. Hope to see you on soon!
 
Hi there cshani,
I just wanted to thank you for stopping into my diary to say hello. I have not been online lately. Not that i dont want to be here, just that i have been focussed on other stuff lately. Its always great to hear from you
Michelle :)
 
RaeRae1706 said:
I just wanted to say congrats, u r almost overweight instead of obese according to ur BMI...go y:hug2: :jump: :doh: :rotflmao: ou!
Click to expand...

thanks! thanks!

Hi Cshani! I thought of you this weekend because I read the word "rebounding" somewhere, fitness magazine I think, and you're the first person I'd heard of that from. It sounds fun. Great job on getting the flat-butt look. I haven't seen my tummy get any smaller yet either, but I'm not going to worry about it (lie). I'm at least going to enjoy the flat-butt look I'm getting in some pants that I totally used to fill out (not a lie). :)
 
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