Weighing In at 276

C

cshani

New member
Day 2 - April 10, 2007

I've decided to change the title of my diary because the other one didn't motivate me.

Today I got up at 8:11 and did "Yoga Booty Ballet." It's kind of fun. I'll like it more when I can get through the yoga portion. I hate the yoga portion.

My goal today is to drink 8 glasses of water. I've tried many times before and really dislike having to go to the bathroom so often. Recently however, I read that metabolism goes up after drinking 16oz. of water, so instead of drinking 8oz. every hour, like I've done before, I'll drink 16oz. every 1 1/2 hours. Not including meals. I get terrible stomach aches when I drink water right before or right after a meal.

Thursday I will buy a scale. From now until forever, Wednesday will be weigh in day.

I ate kidney beans with soy protein and spaghetti sauce at 10:00. At 3:00 I'll have some fruit and peanuts. Dinner will be at 7:00.

Eating 3 meals a day instead of 5 or 6 has been much easier for me. I've been practicing for about a week and although I was eating junk food for that week I didn't snack between meals and didn't fantasize about food all day. A few days ago I decided to cut waaaaay back on the amount of animal products I usually consume and have been able to stick to that goal pretty easily so far.

Thinking about my body and the current look and feel of it makes me feel ugly so at the end of every post I'm going to list 3 parts of myself that I like.

1. I like my curly hair
2. I like my hands and feet (hee hee that's 2)
3. I like my eye lashes

________________________________________________________________

Yesterday's post (since I've changed my title, I won't use the old thread)


Today I weighed in at 276. This isn't the heaviest I've been (288) but I felt pretty bad seeing that number on the scale.

I've ben obsessed with my weight since I was in grade school. My best friend and I would eat as slowly as possible and talk about how we would not to be fat like our mothers.

In middle school I was 100 pounds and by 10th grade I was 186 where I stayed until 19 when I binge ate myself to 226 after my brother died.

Since then I've yo-yo'd. My lowest being 150, the highest 288.

I've discovered that when I feel horrible I look it.

Changing the way I view others and myself is my new focus, so that after a rotten day I don't eat a pizza to feel better.

My goal is to find friends that I feel comfortable with at any weight, hobbies that interest me more than food and a way of living that enhances my better qualities.

I'd also like to remove the word "hate" from my vocabulary because I use that word way too often.

It will be exciting to see how my personality changes as my body does.

Although the number on the scale is not the only indication of my health I think my 5' 4.75" frame will feel and look good at 130 pounds. If I can lose 146 pounds and keep it off, I think I'll be able to accomplish anything else I set my mind to.

Good luck to myself!
 
4/11 Last night I bought a scale

4/11/07

I bought a scale last night from Target.

Oh Target.

I stood in line for more than 10 minutes. But I got some cool stuff; a scale, bulk razors, 3 tee shirts, a carpet sweeper and a rice cooker.

Everything seemed delightful until I stopped by Taco Bell on the way home and got 3 bean burritos and a small Sierra Mist.

Why do I do it?

I was hungry ... should have had more than almonds and a granola bar for lunch. PHOoey!

Omitting dairy products from my diet seemed so easy too, but after 5 days I guess my will was too weak for the evil Taco Bell. I do so love me some cheesy bean burritos.

Anyhow,

The scale I bought is either wrong ... or .... IT'S RIGHT! Which would really be so cool. I used the one at the house where I house-sit to do my initial weigh in (since I haven't owned my own scale since 1993) and it read 276. I was bummed but fully believed it. The one I got from Target read 265.5 this morning.

We'll see what it says next week. No matter what I promise not to return it.

My breakfast today (5 minutes ago) was a large soy mocha, no whip. I did not sleep last night because of my asthma, which only bothers me about twice a year. Instead of taking medication I drink coffee when it acts up. My air ways should clear up by tomorrow morning if I do very minimal movement (which is difficult since I'm a work-a-holic ... I rearranged my throw rugs 5 or so times after vacuuming last night - while in the middle of an asthma attack, and then did laundry.).

I'm at work right now and will go home after running a work related errand.

I'll make some brown rice and have that and kidney beans for lunch. Probably sleep through dinner.

OK then. Happy Wednesday.

1. I like my ears
2. I like my nose
3. I like my height
 
Hey cshani, and welcome to the forum.

You have a refreshing way of writing. I like your idea of listing things about yourself that you do like, as opposed to those you may not. It's always easy to think on the negative.

Food is an important part of life. You need it to survive. It's no good thinking of it as the enemy, and this is something we should all learn, myself included. Food needs to be balanced with everything else in our lives. Although bean burritos and sierra mists (don't know what those are - I live in England!) are not the best of foods, I would have to say that it might not be wise to drastically change your diet - you only need to adjust your attitude towards it. If you are serious about this, then you'll have a lot of fun finding out new and healthy foods and recipes. It's not an impossible task. You CAN have a cheesy burrito - you just need to set a particular day during the week on which you can have it. Let your body know that it's not giving up on all you love. You may think it is an uphill task, but Wishes (someone else on this forum) is one of the many people on this forum who've transformed themselves dramatically, losing hundreds of pounts, and I'm sure so you can do it if you really want to.

You need to sit down and seriously list what you eat on an average day. Be honest with yourself, even if with no one else. You'll find loads of posts in this forum on healthy eating, the importance of a nice large breakfast to weight loss, and loads and loads of recipes. I'm putting together my favourite (and not-so-favourite) recipes so I can refer to them whenever I'm feeling low. The point to all this is that the change needs to be a way of life, not just a way to lose weight. Once you get into a pattern of thinking about what you're putting into your body, it'll get easier as you'll notice the difference within yourself, and you'll keep on wanting the best for your body.

I'm sorry about your asthma attack - I'm not asthmatic myself, but I know it sure isn't fun and can be crippling.

Sorry for my essay, but I find that the change starts from within. Plus all I've said applies to me too.

Good luck with it all, and let us know how you get on. I for one will be rooting for you.
 
Hi RhoRho

Hi RhoRho!

Thank you so much for the insight!

That's why this site is great. It's nice to be reminded of the aspects of weight loss that are easily overlooked.

I will make a better effort to include breakfast while creating my menus - I'll probably have to make them ahead of time to get myself to actually eat them.

:)
 
Attagirl... I myself make my own muesli a couple of days in advance so I'm not fussing about in the mornings...saves time.. If you need breakfast ideas let me know... There's loads on this forum anyway..

Just got back from my workout so need to update my own diary. Cheerio.
 
Scheduled Events

Barley is delicious, I discovered yesterday.

I ate it with cinnamon and molassas for dinner.

The inventory of breakfast foods I now have include:

steel cut oatmeal
barley
cream of rice
shredded wheat

I made 9 servings of barley in my rice cooker. The cooker itself is quite lovely. The consistancy of barley is great too. Vegetable beef and barley soup is the usual way I consume the stuff but after eating it like oatmeal I've discovered it's very good.

So at 9:30 today I'll have another serving for breakfast.

I made an eating and drinking schedule that looks like this:

6:30 wake up and have some water
8:00 have some water, take vitamins
9:30 breakfast
11:00 water
12:30 water
1:30 lunch
3:00 water
4:30 water
6:00 dinner
7:30 water
9:00 water

this way I'm sure to get at least 8 cups of water a day. I'll buy lemons today so I can add them to the water tomorrow. I'm also thinking about setting my phone alarm to go off when I should drink ... at least until my body gets used to *all that water* and I get thirsty on cue. Speaking of thirsty ...

I took a benedryl or some liquid cold capsule before bed last night (after American Idol). The wheezing hadn't completely stopped and I had a fever.

Ack medicine! My eyeballs feel dry and that stuff messes with my brain. My sentences are not easily gotten out ... I'm not foggy, but I feel slower than my usual self. It's so annoying.

Alas. I do feel better though.

Happy Thursday

1. I like my brain
2. I like that I can type fast
3. I like that I'm a fast healer
 
Hi cshani,
I wanted to say Welcome to the WLF!

Good for you for planning breakfasts! I used to NEVER eat breakfast, and I always over ate through out the day. What's funny, is I never made the correlation ;)

Congratulations on the 10 pounds lost so far!

Hope you're feeling better soon :)
 
Hi M2M

Hello M2M~

Thank you for the welcome and the congrats!

Yeah, isn't that weird? I eat sooo much on the days I don't have breakfast - and never put it together until you mentioned it. Last week (before I started my new healthier lifestyle :) I didn't eat breakfast or lunch one day while I was house sitting. When I got off work I ate continuously until I went to bed; 3/4 of a cake, 3 large quesadillas with salsa, half of a medium pizza, toast, a bowl of cereal, corn chips and a bowl of chili - I guess for me, skipping meals leads to binging. AND HOW.

Luckily I can eat breakfast at work. Yay.

We'll see what this new scale says about my weight next Wednesday. I have a hunch that the other one is faulty and my beginning weight wasn't accurate - which is OK since it motivated me to join this site and check it when I'm getting ancy for a treat.
 
Aaaah!

This "changing my eating habits" thing is ... well I want to say difficult but I'm trying to be positive about it. I keep telling myself "losing weight is easy"

oy

After eating less than half a Healthy Choice chicken noodle soup and several baked lays I am kicking myself for not preparing and brining a better tasting lunch!

Saturday I bought veggie and flax chips and picco de gallo, which is soooo much better tasting (probably healthier too) than this stuff - blech!

That reminds me, yesterday I read that the cancer epidemic is thought to be related to eating fatty foods. What about the French? Don't the French eat cheese 2 or more times a day?

What's with these "new findings" and break through discoveries?

Obviously I'm feeling cranky. Luckily there aren't any cookies around.

Tomorrow - when I get home actually, I changed my mind - I'm gonna start a food diary. I've got to figure out how to control myself.

This all or nothing racket is making me go bonkers!



I like the way my new conditioner makes my hair feel soft
I like the letter I typed for the new employees
I like wearing flip flops
 
hi chani,

I've never thought of changing habits as easy - losing weight is no different. Old habits were formed over a long time - it's not so easy to just turn a switch and make all those old habits go away - if it was easier, there wouldn't be so many people wanting to lose weight ;)

Just take it one step at a time, know that you're doing better then you were 6 months ago or a year ago.

Small steps towards our goals - that's what will get us there!
 
Hey cshani,

Oy, I know changing eating habits aren't the easiest of things, so give yourself time. You can't force your body overnight to change. If your body is used to having junk food, then it's going to be resistant to healthier options. I know some people are able to immediately change (and sustain) their eating habits, but most people need a gradual change (that's what I think anyway).

You might find it helpful to research recipes. I find this very therapeutic. I've got a bunch of cookery books myself, but I also get a lot of ideas from the Internet. The aim is to get to a point where, no matter what I crave, there's a healthier option (although I can still satisfy my cravings on my cheat day). Also, the more I know there are loads of healthy foods available, the greater I reckon my chances of success will be. It's difficult giving up chocolate sufflés if the only healthy alternative is wood chippings!

And I know this might sound very control-freakish, but I also find it helpful to think of foods I could eat if I find myself outside without a pre-prepared lunch. For example, if I know I'm going to a restaurant I check the menu beforehand and determine what the healthiest options would be (maybe even get the chef to prepare it with less oil, etc). Obviously, all these things work for me but the idea is for you to think about what could possibly work for you. Remember that it's not a phase, and keep in mind that most people who've lost weight didn't do so by eating soup and granola - they ate healthy but tasty foods.

I hope you feel better soon, and don't starve yourself. Hunger pangs can nearly drive one mad - I should know..

Oh, and I shouldn't concern myself with the many (contradicting) health reports in the media. What is important is a balanced diet. The French don't eat crap cheese found in supermarkets - they eat proper cheese which provides the appropriate nutrients. And they don't only eat cheese, surely. If they did, they'd be dropping from heart disease like flies..

As M2M said, take a little step at a time. Little changes are more effective than a drastic change. Rooting for you!
 
thanks M2M and RhoRho.

Some days are harder than others, for sure.

Seeing everyone else's progress here really helps me out, as do the wonderful responses.

Today I feel pretty good!

The scale said 264.5 this morning, so I'm down a pound from last week. At first I was a little dissappointed but a pound lost is a pound lost.

so Yipee!

I've been eating between 650 and 800 calories for breakfast, 400 for lunch and 650 for dinner. My goal is to stay in the 1880-2100 range until I lose a bit of weight and then I'll lower my calorie intake to 1200 to 1600 calories.

Exercise wise, well ... I haven't been exercising much lately.

I own a mini trampoline, yoga booty ballet and pilates dvd's, a dyna band and a big bouncy ball. Using at least one of these everyday is my ultimate goal.
 
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Hey! I just came across your journal and I must say, you do have a nice writing style. I am similar to you in many ways (including weight and height- I started out at 280 and I am 5'5"). But also just what you eat is similar to me lol. I am a vegetarian, are you? I eat a lot of beans, veggies, fruit, and some grains. Bean burritos from taco bell are definitely one of my common cheat meals, that with the fiesta potatoes - Yum lol. I love how you list things you like about yourself, I may have to start doing that to keep my spirits up (lately they have been kind of down). Well, I will definitely keep up with your journal (you are fun lol). See you around!
 
Hi there cshani,
Thank you for stopping by and saying hello in my diary. I have to agree with everyone, its a pleasure to read your diary. look forward to hearing more about you
Michelle :)
 
it's a slippery slope

Hi Somethingnew912!

Thank you for the compliments :)

Also hello to Mila and Michelle! Oh how I love other people's diaries :)

So,

Fiesta potatoes! I had forgotten about those. If there's another slip day instead of getting 3 bean burritos I'll get a burrito and some fiesta potatoes.
Portion control, I must get a handle on portion control.

I am becoming vegetarian and haven't had a hamburger in a couple of weeks now. Will I still eat chicken and fish? Salmon, white fish and tuna are keepers. Chicken I'm recently feeling iffy about.

Last night my coworkers and I took another coworker to a Mexican restaurant for dinner. When I'm around people I can eat very little and feel completely satisfied. Why is that?

If I had been alone I would have ordered and eaten a giant veggie burrito. Instead I got 2 chicken soft tacos with rice and beans ... a medium size, not the grande.

I had not eaten chicken in two weeks but that was the only uncomplicated meal on the menu that I knew I'd like. Chicken however, I'm pretty sure, will soon be off my list.

Anyway, after dinner I went home to see if Sanjaya was going to get the boot from Idol. He was so sad, but I'm quite certain he'll have a great career in Hollywood, so there's no reason to worry ... the point of this story is to confess that I ate 3 chocoalate cupcakes. A slippery slope indeed.

During dinner when two of my coworkers ordered alcoholic beverages I mentioned that the birthday girl is a recovering alcoholic. Can she be around alcohol and not slip? Apparently she drinks non - alcoholic beer and from what I've heard that usually sends people in recovery right back to alcohol. I said, "it's a slippery slope," in response.

After dinner the birthday girl had some flan and then I started thinking about delicious dessert options. Cut to an hour later and I'm devouring 3 chocolate cupcakes from Trader Joe's. I guess I was telling myself it's a slippery slope.

Today has been no good with the eating. I had a serving and a half of All Bran with some Almond milk followed by the 4th cupcake from the container. Two hours later I had half a bag of pita chips (also from Trader Joe's) and a brownie brought in by a coworker. At 1:30 I ate a spicy tuna wrap with Tahini dressing and a serving and a half of pita chips. What makes me so hungry?

I have enrolled in an Attitude class which I get to go to tonight. Apparently in 6 weeks the instructor and my class mates will help me (while I'm helping them too supposedly) find the root of compulsive and/or isolating behavior.

The last session we were given an assignment to purposely get into the longest line at the grocery store to test our anger or impatience quotient. I do that for fun ... well usually to get my free read of trash magazines, but still. That was an easy assignment. We also were told to ask ourselves, "What am I afraid of," every time we have a negative thought or emotion. I've been doing that but it's not as effective as when we did it in class with groups.

At any rate, I'm excited about going tonight. I plan on asking how to control my eating habits - if I feel brave enough. I am the only heavy person in a class of 20.




1. I like my laugh
2. I like my choice of music
3. I like the shape of my mouth
 
I can relate to so much that you just said lol. I have found that I can control my compulsive eating if I never take that first bite. I just recently realized this as I have become a little more leniant on my diet. When I allow myself one refined, white flour type carb, I cannot stop thinking about them and craving them. If I allow myself to have 1 cookie (the good ones, not the kashi ones- the kashi ones I can restrict myself) I feel I need 4 more cookies. So, I am trying to make myself have completely "good" days because when I try to give my body a little, it wants a lot. So, for now it will only get the yummy stuff on certain days that I have set out as cheating days. It makes it harder in the sense that I feel denied, but it makes it easier in that I dont have to battle those HUGE cravings. Also, I have noticed that when I eat refined, white flour type carbs, I am sooo hungry for the rest of the day, no matter how much more I eat. This is what I have found works for me, but as you continue this "journey" you will find so many things that work for you. :)
 
Sounds like an interesting class you're in... you'regoiong to learn a lot about yourself in it it would seem... I hope yo do get brave enough to ask the question... it'd be interesting to hear what you think the answer is?

Why do you think you can't control your eating habits?

as for the alcohol.. I have a buddy who's just made his one year mark in recovery and every day is still a challenge to not drink or do drugs.. but he's doing it - the first few months he avoided situations where he might want o drink -then he decided that he had his life to live and he couldn't hide for the rest of his life.. very few people know he's in recovery and he wants it that way but now he drinksclub soda and does great.
 
Oh yeah,

I was going to say "excellent job with the weight loss Somethingnew912!"
You mentioned not eating flour ... is that your main strategy?

LOL Kashi. I haven't tried any of their products yet. Are any of them good? I like the idea of having cheat days - what a wonderful suggestion.

Hi Maleficent! Your advice is always so great. I love reading them throughout this site :)

I think my eating habits are out of control because I've been eating huge amounts of food since I was a child.

When I was in first grade at mother's day breakfast I ate a whole plate of plate sized pancakes and drank a whole milkshake. One of the mom's with us was known for eating a lot and I out ate her. I didn't get heavy until 8th grade but I knew at that breakfast I had a problem. I was soooooo stuffed but couldn't stop myself from eating.

I admire people who are in recovery. It's nice to know that people have given up substances that once had control over them.
 
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