Want vs Need

MakeMeHappy

MakeMeHappy

New member
Yay! My first online diary!

I've called it Want vs Need because I believe that everything comes down to what decisions you make in life. When you decide to blow your weekly budget on chocolate and chips is that really a need? Or when you chow through all that chocolate and all those chips is that really a need? So I'm going to be honest with myself starting from here on out.

Actually I'm lying a little bit. I do know the difference between a want and a need. But when I'm looking at the sweet seductive packaging of a bar of Lindt chocolate or thinking of the spicy tomato salsa on nachos chips I can't help but ignore my better judgement.

So really it's more of control issue. Controlling my compulsive food buying/ consumption. And I'll do it by reminding myself that I only WANT it. I don't NEED it.

The most amusing thing is that I typed this all up having just finished a whole family sized block of chocolate. Talk about guilt-blogging. I hope that this will be the last time I decide to 'make a change' and 'start afresh'. There's nothing worse than deciding to better yourself only to relapse into bad habits and then vow to try again. It's all about breaking the cycle...again and again and again :D

But seriously though. I can definitely relate to those people who talk about 'sabotaging' themselves. You don't understand why you don't have the control to say no when you know that losing that weight will make you feel a million times better! It's the most ridiculous notion!

Enough blabbing. I think my next post...which will be soon after I finish the coke I bought to wash down the chocolate...will be about making a list of goals for myself. Apparently listing things can help you clarify what you want to achieve and motivate you. We shall see :)

- MMH
 
Finished my coke. Have cleaned my room...ish...and am now finally ready
for my fresh start!

Firstly I'd like to set out exactly what important dates are coming up -
Saturday 8th August - my college ball
Wednesday 12th August - a party where I'm bound to meet new people
Friday 14th - 16th August - ski trip
Friday 29th August - going home and seeing my ex-bf
Sunday 6th September - going back to uni

That all happening in the next month from today. Now I'm not planning to lose all the
weight I'd ever like to lose in that time. That's silly of course. But I'll start exercising and eating more healthily so that I don't necessarily feel lighter, but just feel good about the new direction my life is taking. I think that's fair enough.

I'm not actually overweight. I weigh in at about 136lbs and I'm 5'3. My ultimate goal weight is 115lbs. That's what I used to weigh before I went onto the pill and became depressed. I've been on different brands of the pill for the last 3 years and I've finally made the choice to come off and just be natural. It was like coming out of a dream. The depression just lifted like a cloud and suddenly I felt normal emotionally again. But the weight I gained from the depression has yet to lift off :D So here I am.

So here's a list of goals I have -

1. I'd like to start exercising again. I used to be very active but during my depression I withdrew from social activities and even began to stop running alone because I didn't want to leave my room. I think that even from the simple act of starting to run again I'll probably be able to shift at least 1/3 of the weight I'd like to lose.

2. I have to stop buying food. I live in a residential hall at uni and have paid fees that include meals. I hate institutional food though and often skip meals in favour of buying take outs and junk. Well not only am I blowing all my cash on food but I've been blowing it on food that isn't even good for me. So from now on I need to put a stop to that extra spending on saturated fatty foods.

3. Compulsive overeating. This is something I picked up during my depression and it's damn hard to kick. I used to overeat because of my emotions. Now it's not because of my emotions but because of force of habit. I can easily cram down 2000 calories in one sitting and then eat dinner an hour later. And the food I cram down is usually sugary foods. So I definitely need to stop the cramming and cut back on the sugar. If I can stop forcing down a whole block of chocolate a day I should be able to lose another 1/3 of the weight without doing anything other than not eating those extra extra extra snacks!

That's it! Those are the goals. I'm hoping to have lost all the weight by the end of this
uni semester which will be mid-november. That's about 3 months for 21lbs. So about 7lbs a month! Which sounds appropriate!
 
Good luck with the weight loss my dear. :) 7lb sounds very appropriate... they say if you eat well and exercise enough it is possible to loose up to 14lbs a month... but of course it doesnt always work out that way.

I hear you when it comes to take away food... I spent so much money on takeaways and convienance food... such a waste! lol
 
Well I consider today a success since I haven't managed to eat a block of chocolate yet!
I tried on my ball dress for tomorrow and it looks so beautiful. I wish I were 5lbs lighter
just so that I don't have to get my friend to pinch the back together to zip it up.
But on the whole I guess I'm happy.
Tomorrow I'm getting my fringe re-cut and getting my hair styled up plus looking for a big
flower accessory for my hair!

I've decided that one of the best ways to look at the task of tackling my weight is to
imagine that I've just woken up in this body. And it's my mission to make it better.
It helps me to disengage myself from all my body image issues and work with what I've
got from a clean slate.
 
I get to succeed nearly everyday. I rarely eat blocks of chocolate :cheers2:. You can reach your goal. I kind of like the idea of disassociating oneself with their own body through the duration of the weight loss. A way to start new. I don't know about people who are on a weight loss journey for a long time. I hope it all works out. Good luck :).
 
A summary of my weekend so far -

Friday: didn't binge on any food...did however binge on alcohol and ended up thoroughly
wasted. But I did go for a run before all the partying so I feel great for doing some
exercise!
Saturday: Suddenly Friday's little binge drinking session doesn't seem like such a good
idea. I couldn't eat anything the whole day and was throwing up the water I was trying
to drink. NOT FUN. I was so scared that I wasn't going to be able to make it to the ball
that night, but eventually the hangover wore off and I prettied up in time for the ball!
I danced quite a bit in my skyscraper heels so I think that burned off a fair amount!
Sunday: had a nice slap up breakfast this morning but managed to be reasonable with my portion sizes which feels good!

Anyway, weighed in after breakfast and I'm at 59.8kgs.
Happy :)
 
Hey MMH,
Just read your stuff and great job so far. You must be very happy with your success so far.

You have a great attitude and there is no doubt you will reach your goals. Keep up the good work!

I'll be back to check on ya :toetap05:

matt
 
Thanks for the feedback Matt :)

Well my weight has creeped up a bit since the Sunday Banquet.
It was a five course meal which explains why I feel the need to go for a run!
Must. Put. Gym. Gear. On.
If I don't force myself to get into running gear I'll never end up going for a run.
I think I need to motivate myself more!

Was doing an assignment for university today and somehow a whole bar of black forest
chocolate ended up in my stomach. *Looks innocently at the food police and says, 'It wasn't me officer!'*
Oops.
On the plus side (which my thighs are feeling like atm) haha, I have finally stopped
slurping on my afternoon vanilla coke. I swear there is something in coke that makes
it addictive! *Looks suspiciously at the Coke-a-Cola Corporation for answers...*

More to come soon. Sigh face.
 
Hey there Make me Happy! Seems like you are well underway :D keep up the good work! Don't that the eeeeeevil Lindt get you down, you can beat it!!!!
 
Hey!

I totally understand with the take out and eating out AND binge drinking! I am a college student myself, and man, those temptations and parties just can't stay away!

I've started to cook, it might be hard for you since you live in a residential hall, but as long as you look for healthier options every time your head turns, I think that'd help. =)

Good luck with losing those last few LBS!
 
Thanks Kori! I'm a sucker for Lindt specials at the supermarket so I'm trying to figure out
how to turn myself off chocolate. Can you even do that? Turn yourself off a food?
Like make it seem gross instead of delicious and tasty and smooth and sweet...and
I think I inadvertently made myself want it more now! Ah!

Hmmmm good advice eymediaoutlet...sadly my hall tends to serve food that carbo-loads
us. Which is mostly because they know that we are drunken students in need of carbs
to sober us up and absorb the alcohol. Ha.

Anyway I feel good! Just went on 30 min run...remembered to stretch this time so I'm
not stiff tomorrow! And I go home in 16 days! Very excite! :)

Semi-emo moment landing in 3...2...1...
I can't help but think that part of the reason that I'm not happier with my weight is
because of my mother. She's utterly tiny. And she's always been that way.
I mean we're talking about the kind of woman who weighs 110lbs and says she needs
to hit gym when she puts on 2 pounds. That's bound to mess a person up a little yes?
 
Haha... your mum must be pretty cool!

The people around us will certainly affect almost all facets of our lives! If there's any consolation, you've gotta be thankful that you have a pro-fitness mum, and not like my mom who stops me from dieting (says she doesn't want me getting skinny and all that).
 
Sounds like you're really motivated this time - which is awesome!! Maybe you could PLAN when you get to have a bit of chocolate? Rather than try to cut it out all together. I find if I take away something I love - in a weak moment i completely binge. So maybe say if you go 3 days without ANY chocolate you can have a piece :)

Also - I used to drink coke quite a bit, and someone told me that the sugar content in a coke is the equivalent of eating 10 teaspoons of sugar - think about that next time you crave - is it worth it??

And again, maybe you can let yourself have a coke once a week? If you go a whole week without it - my guess is you won't crave it anymore, and if you do have one - you won't enjoy it the way you used to - that's how I feel about it now, and I used to drink it all the time!!

Keep up the great work!

Nicole
 
Yeah she's an amazing mother Princess_Lisa, but sometimes I just feel so inadequate
when I'm around her. It's not her fault though; she's a perfectly healthy, fit person. But
it sucks that I struggle so much with what I eat and trying to exercise when it comes
so naturally to her. The good thing is that despite all my whining about my weight she is
always happy to help me in any way she can.

Omg! @ SunShine8z40! 10 teaspoons of sugar??? Bloody hell. I should really try drinking
diet coke. But I don't really believe that it's good for you.

Yeah, I've heard so often about how people who cut out all the yummy foods just end
up having a binge. I should really start buying the little bars of chocolate instead of the large ones. That way I can't eat as much!
 
MakeMeHappy said:
Semi-emo moment landing in 3...2...1...
I can't help but think that part of the reason that I'm not happier with my weight is
because of my mother. She's utterly tiny. And she's always been that way.
I mean we're talking about the kind of woman who weighs 110lbs and says she needs
to hit gym when she puts on 2 pounds. That's bound to mess a person up a little yes?
Click to expand...

Hello MakeMeHappy,

Or what about looking at it like this:

Even ppl that we think we'd love to look like or have their body, are ppl that have their own body issues. Hoping they were better proportioned and so on..

Or when you want a coke, try having the 10 teaspoons of sugar, mind you since I am a sugar fiend, I used to suck on spoonfuls of sugar....:blush5: LOL

How much Dark Chocolate are we allowed to have/day? You know like the glass of red wine...

What type of Ball did you go to? That sounded exciting!! :)

Keep going strong!​
 
10 spoonfulls of sugar --- wow, interesting! Sounds a lil bit scary, though. I'm just glad I was able to handle my soda problems before it blew up. It was a lil easier for me to give it up because I wasn't a fan of that fizzy-throat feel you get from these drinks.
 
One thing to think about with regard to your mom...

When someone puts on a few extra pounds and heads to the gym, that's actually a HEALTHY way to manage your weight. We tend to get all angry and upset and say it messes us up when someone who is already skinny says "Oh, I'm gaining weight; I need to eat more salads" or "Oh I need to go workout" or "Oh, my jeans are tight". But those are the people who have healthy attitudes towards managing their weight.

Those of us who let the pounds creep on until we've got 20, 30, 40 to lose are the ones who could learn to better manage our weight. If were were able to nip it in the bud at the 2lb or 3lb stage, we wouldn't be in this place, right? :)

So don't think in terms of your mom "messing" you up, but in terms of your mom being a healthy role model.

Good luck to you.
 
I think it's 2 oz a day of dark chocolate, which is actually a good bit.

No, I don't think you can turn yourself off of something as well crafted as a Lindt bar of dark chocolate. I prefer the mint or the cherry and chili myself. Just try to scale it back, I can nurse a bar along for like 2 weeks now. But when I started I was like you, an afternoon or two and that sucker was dust.

But not everyone can manage temptation like that and so you might need to just avoid it unfortunately. Or find another option.

But as fired up as you sound I am sure you'll pull something out of the hat. Best of luck to you.
 
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