Umbra's Journal

I am ladyumbra, I am a fatloss failure I weight nearly 250 lbs again. I hate myself so much. I want to cry and scream and find some way to make this backsliding stop. I can't nothing but perseverance and getting back on the wagon can do that.

Cerella I'm sorry i dissapeared at the end of the contest. I was moving during august and RL hated me and I wasn't losing weight anymore becuase i was stress eating and I felt bad logging in.

I felt bad logging in today like this is a reminder that I suck, that i can't control myself.

I will work past this. I have a new house, new room to exercise new roads to jog, soon a new season of biggest loser to workout to.

I CAN DO THIS WITH HARD WORK

if anyone's reading this I'm always greatful for buddies to help keep me on track and to swap stories with.
 
YOU CAN AND WILL! Ya know wht the differenece is, you keep logging back on, when you stop logging on is when you know you ahve lost the battle...

Im still here and look at me, how many times have we watched me relose the same weight, LOL...

Lets continue to do this together!

Start by joining my thread:)!No competetion, no eliminations, just a point system for checcking in and staying accountale and following weekly challenges that e take turns picking:)!!!

Would love to see you there:)!
 
*snugs* I'll be joining your thread next monday when aunt flo is gone and I can have accurate weight and measurements.

the support is addictive and i wonder hwo you guys are doing it's why I keep coming back.

bwhaha biggest loser starts again next week which is good for me.
 
ok starting in your thread next monday i got distracted this week. on the bright side i have a new job and training starting monday.

Iwalked 3 miles today ^-^
drank plenty of water
ate tacos for dinner
sausage bites for lunch
english muffin with peanut butter for breakfast.
 
I don't want to die. I'm now halfway to 500lbs and my body is shutting down. I get chest pains, lethargy and I have the inability to stay cool with my added weight making me overheat a lot. If I don;t lose this weight my body won't keep going and I know it.
 
Yeah, it is totally unhealthy being overweight. You pay physically and emotionally, as well as financially in many different ways. But until a person is absolutely sick and tired of being sick and tired, until they are READY to really go for it, it just wont' happen.

Are you ready, Umbra? I think you are. I think you are done with excuses and you know exactly what is required for you to once again TAKE CONTROL of your life. You need to take your power back Sweetie - and you are the only one who can do it! Get your plan and get going!!!:driving:

That was my version of tough love. Did it work? I'm rootin' for ya! :party:

Looking forward to positive updates as you reclaim your health and start to live the life you dream of...
ABBA
 
hehe i appreciate the tough love.

new stats as of 23/09/2008
chest 46 inches
belly 42 inches

waist 54 inches
upper arm 18 inches
upper leg 29 inches
weight 250lbs

exercise for tuesday the 28th: 30 mins ddr, more tba

calories consumed: tba

my ass is in gear oh yes.
 
new stats as of 23/09/2008 ( inches will be updated every tuesday)
chest 46 inches
belly 42 inches

waist 54 inches
upper arm 18 inches
upper leg 29 inches
weight 250lbs

exercise for tuesday the 28th: 30 mins ddr, ( re saved some of the old hardersongs I had lost on the other memory card. should be able to do a longer session tommorow)

calories consumed: 760 after lunch. dinner is unknown two small porkchops

I think I went a bit too far under the 2000 I'm aiming for each day. will need to plans meals a bit better in the future.
 
45 mins ddr for wednesday
mother effing christ I hate this. I wanted to do more ddr I had the stamina to do more but at my weight I can't be light footed enough not to stomp on the mat and after 45 mins my ankles start crying mercy. I effing can't go outside during the mornings becuase i have to wail until noon each day to see if there are any calls from my potential work about resheduled trialing and by the time noon rolls around it's too hot for me to be outside.

i'm left with 45 mins ddr a day. walking in circles around our basement apartment and playing with the exercise ball.

I want to kick matt who has a perfectly good treadmill collecting dust in his house. I want to scream at gyms which charge reasonable monthly fees but have huge signup contracts I can't cover and I want to cry. I'm supposed to be getting married in less than a year and i can't help but believe that it's going to be a disaster.

it's feels hopeless becuase i've let myself get this far gone and now I just can't afford the fucking resources I need to get better. I can't even find a cheap used regular bike to ride around on.

i'm not giving up but i'm not holding much hope either i've lost and regained the same weight 3 times in the past year. what i have available to me to help me lose it clearly isn't enough.
 
blah blah blah whining is over ^-^

backing to ddr and minor weight lifts and 50 crunches ( well as close to a crunch as my body gets) a day for this weeks christmas challenge.

got a call back from my potential job, I am hired and will be doing onsite training once it opens up. I'm thinking that since that's about two weeks away I'm gonna walk there and back every day for two weeks. It's a 3 mile round trip and will be good for me.

also if luck is on my side by the end of october I will have an exercise bike
 
Yay for those crunches! And weight lifting, DDR, and your future walking! And while we are at it, yay for the new job, too :hurray: You are on a roll, Lady! Are you also watching your calorie intake these days?

Cheers and keep up the good work!
ABBA
 
<<

>>

.. kinda. i'm reading my7 lables and ballparking the calories in things I don't have access to lables for like meat. i'm not staying as close to my target range as i'd like but i am being more sodium conscious which seems to be working well. expect updated measurement by the end of october.

Iprobably should sign up for fitday or something just to really keep track of them calories.

~ working hard and yet barely working ^-^
 
calories for oct second
breakfast 300: 140 for the english muffin. presumed 160 in homemade raspberry jam.

Lunch: 2 hard boiled eggs
140 calories
dinner: unknown calories, 1 chicken breast, 1 helping pasta sidekick

total 440
exercise: 40 mins walk/ jog
25 mins ddr

projection for dinner tommorow ( cheat night)
294 calories per 4 chicken balls
412 1 cup lemon chicken
363 per 1 cup fried rice
unknown sweet and sour sauce
chicken chop suey
220 calories one cup
 
congratulations on yor new job. with your planned walking, keeping up your DDR and weights you CAN loose the weight :hurray:
 
aww thanks trusy I'm aiming for 80 lbs in 8 months. It won't be easy but I know it can be done.

I'm hoping the new job helps a bit beyond just walking to it since as a waitress I'll be on my feet all days instead of parked in front of the computer all day.
 
job is being retarded
it's that time of the month
fooooood
= will probably not have good weightloss this week.

i am still doing my challenge exercise and a bit of ddr dailey though. no walks this week becuase i avoid extra walking when i'm like this. it's for the better of humanity that i don't curse with every step.

i will lose this weight if it kills me . perhaps just not in the timeframe i had hoped
 
:waving:Hi you
This weight loss is not a race, not a sprint; it is a total journey. Whether it takes you 8 months or 3 yrs, better health is your ultimate goal. Recognize what "sets you off" when it comes to mindless or binge eating. What are you likely to splurge on? KEEP IT OUT OF THE HOUSE! You know all of this already. Just want to cheer you on!:biggrinjester:

ABBA
 
it's that time of the month
fooooood
= will probably not have good weightloss this week.

I'm having the same problem, lol. I finally got control of myself and ignored the cravings today but the last 3 weren't so great. Anyway I lost track of so many people when I moved and then was without internet so I just wanted to swing by and say hi and see how you're doin :)
 
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