Hi,
I am a mother of 3. I guess that's how I identify myself these days. Don't get me wrong, I love being a mum (notice the spelling - I'm Aussie but reside in the US) but in being that, I have lost a part of who I once was. In fact, maybe I've lost more than a part of me. I guess I have some resentment issues here.
You see, my husband is in the military and I often have to take on the role of both mum and dad. All my time is put into the children and the household so I don't priortise for myself. He's currently deployed. This will be his 3rd deployment in a short period of 3 years. We move alot so making close friends is never an easy thing. I rely on my husband for his companionship so him not being here right now has been very difficult for me emotionally. I'm constantly on this emotioanl rollercoaster and I guess that's what triggers off my eating. Having to deal with the kids doesn't help. I hate to use the word "deal" but that's how it feels. They are beautiful, smart children and they're mine so having to resort to using this kind of term is not something I take lightly. In fact, it's just another thing to feel guilty about. I know I need more time out for myself and I'm trying to do that. I think that I use food as my comfort, as my reward at the end of the day after "dealing" with my children. The thing is, I used to have so much patience and a love for nurturing my children but I feel like the life has been suck out of me. The military lifestyle is not an easy one. There are not many resources for spouses although they claim to try to help.
Anyway, as you can see by my username, I used to play soccer and was once pretty good at it too. I represented my state side for several years at high school and I loved playing with a passion. That changed as soon as I got married 10 years ago, moved countries, and got pregnant. Just too many changes to happen in a period of a couple of months. I still don't play soccer but I've tried to be an avid gym goer (they provide day care while I work out) as a substitute. However, going to the gym requires motivation and discipline. Lately, that has been pretty much non-existant. The weight is piling on and I want it to stop. I'm 5'8" and 160lbs. I know some of you may think that's not too heavy but prior to my pregnancies, I was 130lbs and in great shape. I was never too skinny but just right. I carry most of my weight in my legs and butt so I've had to go up from a size 4 to a 9 in jeans. I've never been this big in my life and was always active growing up. The local pool owner called me "Muscles" and once I was told I had "the body", not that I believed that but that's what I was told. Those days seems long gone now but why should they be??? One thing was for sure, I never had a problem with weight and that wasn't because I could get away with eating anything I wanted. I worked hard to keep the weight off. You see, my family members are all big and I knew back then that I needed to watch what I ate and to exercise so I wouldn't have weight issues like my sisters. I don't think the problem was that we ate unhealthy at home but our portion sizes were way too big and we ate often throughout the day. I think this is probably what is meant by binging???
Well, I don't know why I need to tell you all this but I've been in despair for the last week. I need some moral support. I need to know that there's someone who can listen to me about my day and I can do the same for them. I need a buddy for motivation rather than me looking for a quick fix by eating junk food that only makes me feel sick to the stomach and only having me think why the heck did I do that for???
I look forward to chatting with anyone whose willing......
Thank you kindly,
Jensoccer.
I am a mother of 3. I guess that's how I identify myself these days. Don't get me wrong, I love being a mum (notice the spelling - I'm Aussie but reside in the US) but in being that, I have lost a part of who I once was. In fact, maybe I've lost more than a part of me. I guess I have some resentment issues here.
You see, my husband is in the military and I often have to take on the role of both mum and dad. All my time is put into the children and the household so I don't priortise for myself. He's currently deployed. This will be his 3rd deployment in a short period of 3 years. We move alot so making close friends is never an easy thing. I rely on my husband for his companionship so him not being here right now has been very difficult for me emotionally. I'm constantly on this emotioanl rollercoaster and I guess that's what triggers off my eating. Having to deal with the kids doesn't help. I hate to use the word "deal" but that's how it feels. They are beautiful, smart children and they're mine so having to resort to using this kind of term is not something I take lightly. In fact, it's just another thing to feel guilty about. I know I need more time out for myself and I'm trying to do that. I think that I use food as my comfort, as my reward at the end of the day after "dealing" with my children. The thing is, I used to have so much patience and a love for nurturing my children but I feel like the life has been suck out of me. The military lifestyle is not an easy one. There are not many resources for spouses although they claim to try to help.
Anyway, as you can see by my username, I used to play soccer and was once pretty good at it too. I represented my state side for several years at high school and I loved playing with a passion. That changed as soon as I got married 10 years ago, moved countries, and got pregnant. Just too many changes to happen in a period of a couple of months. I still don't play soccer but I've tried to be an avid gym goer (they provide day care while I work out) as a substitute. However, going to the gym requires motivation and discipline. Lately, that has been pretty much non-existant. The weight is piling on and I want it to stop. I'm 5'8" and 160lbs. I know some of you may think that's not too heavy but prior to my pregnancies, I was 130lbs and in great shape. I was never too skinny but just right. I carry most of my weight in my legs and butt so I've had to go up from a size 4 to a 9 in jeans. I've never been this big in my life and was always active growing up. The local pool owner called me "Muscles" and once I was told I had "the body", not that I believed that but that's what I was told. Those days seems long gone now but why should they be??? One thing was for sure, I never had a problem with weight and that wasn't because I could get away with eating anything I wanted. I worked hard to keep the weight off. You see, my family members are all big and I knew back then that I needed to watch what I ate and to exercise so I wouldn't have weight issues like my sisters. I don't think the problem was that we ate unhealthy at home but our portion sizes were way too big and we ate often throughout the day. I think this is probably what is meant by binging???
Well, I don't know why I need to tell you all this but I've been in despair for the last week. I need some moral support. I need to know that there's someone who can listen to me about my day and I can do the same for them. I need a buddy for motivation rather than me looking for a quick fix by eating junk food that only makes me feel sick to the stomach and only having me think why the heck did I do that for???
I look forward to chatting with anyone whose willing......
Thank you kindly,
Jensoccer.