Transformation

I feel the same. I can't make myself cook some of the dishes that I used to cook for my husband because I feel as if I would be putting his health in danger so I have found lighter ways of cooking most things and truthfully he hasn't really even noticed.
I often see overweight women that look unhappy and I'd love to help them to lose weight but you can't say anything to anybody without being offensive. I've also found that when people ask me how I lost the weight they don't ever take my advice but go on some new fangled crash diet. I don't understand that because if they see that it is working for me then why not try it. It seems that most people just want a quick fix not a lifetime commitment. I guess that's the way I was for many years and it takes a lot of failures to come to the conclusion that we need to do this properly and sensibly to make it work.

It's especially hard when it is family, people you love. It's a difficult line to walk between doing what you think is right for them and outright offending them and putting strain on the relationship. I watched my mother sit on the coach with a biiiiig bag of potato chips the other day while she was watching TV, and it was just terrible to see. That was after she went through half a large buttered popcorn at the movies earlier in the day. o_O
 
Man, I'm bummed.

I've gained two pounds. I don't know WHY. I have not done anything to cause it to happen. I've eaten a solid average of 1800 calories every day and never gone over 2000 or below 1600. My maintenance calories are 2500. So what... the... bloody... hell? There is no reason for me to gain weight! NONE!

MY BODY HATES ME.

I'm just so frustrated. I'ts not like I'm going to give up but it's really just not fair. I swear to you that I am doing this thing so right, other than the fact that if it weren't for my back I could be exercising more, but my eating has been immaculate and I GAINED TWO POUNDS. WHY?

I know that the steroids I was on until five days ago could cause weight gain and I'm still on muscle relaxers and maximum strength Ibuprofen every day, so maybe the pills are still messing with my body, but I don't know. All I know is that if I wanted to gain weight, I would be eating pizza and other terribly unhealthy yummy things, for crying out loud.

Why. Why. Why. Whyyyyyyyy?

I'm going to go cry a little now.

Edit for more ranting: I mean, I used to eat so, so unhealthily and basically maintain my weight. This makes no sense. None. It's. not. right.
 
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So, after a stream of terribly irrational thoughts... including but not limited to:

  • I need to cut 500 more calories immediately.
  • It is time to starve myself.
  • I AM HAVING PIZZA TONIGHT.

It occurred to me that I need the following things:

  • advice
  • encouragement
  • motivation

So, any of those things that you might happen to be able to provide would be so appreciated, preferably before I drive myself completely crazy. Haha.
 
On the bright side, I bought a food scale yesterday. It felt really good to precisely measure out my cereal and milk this morning for breakfast. :) 1 oz of Kellogg's Red Barries cereal and 120 grams of 2% milk. :)

Edit: Haha, actually, it's kind of funny... I'm really anticipating my next meal now... not because of the eating, but because I can use my food scale again. I actually considered preparing my next meal now and then putting it in a microwave dish for later, just so I could use it. :D
 
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Oh man those are the worst weeks ever, when you've done everything right but get nothing in return. In this case I'd say it's DEFINITELY the pills... so many small factors like that can really turn a good week bad or vice versa. My first reaction is always crying, getting mad, and wanting to complain about it to everyone I know, but you're right to take another look and decide to calm down, as hard as that is. Cutting a few more calories is okay if it'll make you feel better -- just try to keep your head down, have another good week, and give your body some time! You can do this!
 
My Dad is debating the necessity of the food scale. I pointed out that, after weighing my usual half serving of whole wheat pita it turned out to be 30 more calories than what I thought it was when I wasn't weighing it. Then I pointed out that 30 more calories per meal (since I eat about 7 small meals a day) would add 210 calories to my daily total. That's a lot when you're trying to lose weight. But he still said "I think the information on the back of the package would be more accurate than weighing it yourself." Then I even tried to show him that the pitas don't all come out the same size and he still insisted they were the same and the information on the back of the package is completely correct.

The nutritional information on the back of the package claims that one pita is 57 grams. Half the pita weighed 40 grams and it was even the smaller half. That's not exactly accurate, even assuming my measurement was off by 5 grams in either direction.

I really want to buy a digital food scale when I can afford it, though. It would be a lot easier to read and also even more accurate.

I think my grandpa would be proud of me. I remember back when I was 12 and he knew I was unhappy about being a fat kid, he offered me money if, by the time I was 18, I weighed a certain amount. He was trying to motivate me to be more healthy. It didn't work (because the motivation really has to come from inside), but I think that if he were still alive he'd be happy for me doing it now.
 
Oh man those are the worst weeks ever, when you've done everything right but get nothing in return. In this case I'd say it's DEFINITELY the pills... so many small factors like that can really turn a good week bad or vice versa. My first reaction is always crying, getting mad, and wanting to complain about it to everyone I know, but you're right to take another look and decide to calm down, as hard as that is. Cutting a few more calories is okay if it'll make you feel better -- just try to keep your head down, have another good week, and give your body some time! You can do this!

Thank you so, so, so much! This was wonderful to read. I've decided to decrease my daily calories by 150 calories, so we'll see where that takes me. :)

And you're right, I can do this. We all can, with hard work and commitment. :)
 
So, I've decided to post my daily caloric intake here starting today. Here's what I've eaten so far today. I'll update it as I eat more. :)


10:15 AM
Special K Red Barries (1 oz) -110
2% Milk (120 g) - 65

12:15 PM
Carrots (85 g) - 30
Gala Apple (180 g) - 95

1:30 PM
Thomas' Whole Wheat Pita (40 g) - 100
Swiss Cheese Lite (40 g) - 100
Humus (14 g) - 35

3:30 PM
Clementines (180 g) - 70

5:45 PM
Tilapia (80 g) - 200
Tomatoes (220 g) - 40

7:30 PM
Tilapia (40 g) - 100
Brocoli and Cheese (200 g) - 90

10:30 PM
Barilla Plus Spaghetti (2 oz) - 200
Bertolli Marinara w/ Burgundy Wine (40 g) - 40
Tomatoes (60 g) - 10
Spinach (40 g) - 10
Swiss Cheese Lite (20 g) - 50

12:00 AM
JIF Peanut Butter (32 g) -190
2% Milk (240 mL) - 130

Total Calories Eaten: 1665
 
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I LOVE My food scale!!! I am lucky to have a digital one, and it is awesome! For things like fruit, for instance, measuring in cups just doesn't work if you want to be accurate for calorie intake. That is why i always weigh my fruit. I don't worry as much about vegetables as they are much lower in calories and i think estimation won't affect the calorie count that much.

It is also really good for things like cheese etc..anything you can't measure well in a cup.

Don't give up hope :) We all have bad weeks, when we lose nothing, gain back weight, or lose less than we feel we should. As much as nutrition is a science (calories in - calories out etc) it is also unpredictable at times what our body will do with the calories we provide it. Sometimes we need a little catch up period for all the weight we lost so far. I would keep doing what you are doing and see what happens in the next few days/weeks. If you still are not seeing the results you would like, then perhaps that will be the time to switch things up.

Are you getting enough sleep? Are you stresed? These things can affect your weight. Also your medications definitely can affect your weight!

hugs
 
I LOVE My food scale!!! I am lucky to have a digital one, and it is awesome! For things like fruit, for instance, measuring in cups just doesn't work if you want to be accurate for calorie intake. That is why i always weigh my fruit. I don't worry as much about vegetables as they are much lower in calories and i think estimation won't affect the calorie count that much.

It is also really good for things like cheese etc..anything you can't measure well in a cup.

Don't give up hope :) We all have bad weeks, when we lose nothing, gain back weight, or lose less than we feel we should. As much as nutrition is a science (calories in - calories out etc) it is also unpredictable at times what our body will do with the calories we provide it. Sometimes we need a little catch up period for all the weight we lost so far. I would keep doing what you are doing and see what happens in the next few days/weeks. If you still are not seeing the results you would like, then perhaps that will be the time to switch things up.

Are you getting enough sleep? Are you stresed? These things can affect your weight. Also your medications definitely can affect your weight!

hugs

Even though my scale isn't digital, I have quickly become enamored with it, hehe. I would just have more confidence in the accuracy of a digital reading. I do feel better now than I did earlier. I think that, even if I am not losing weight as quickly as I would like, I have seen other positive changes to feel great about... like a feeling of control over food instead of it controlling me and feeling confident in my ability to make healthy choices now. Those are good things. I'm sure the weight loss will follow eventually. :)

I sleep really well, but I have been just a little stressed about my health since my back problems started. But who knows for sure what may be contributing to the weight gain.

Thank you so much for the encouragement. You're terrific. :)
 
So, I weighed all of my food today with my scale. I love it. :D I decided to give myself a buffer and make math simpler by rounding up all the numbers. So, if the food weighs 47 g, I round it up to 50 g. It saves on some calories.

Today I have eaten 1345 calories and it's already 11:15 PM. I think it would be really easy for me to eat a much smaller amount of calories everyday than 1850 because at the end of the day I'm really stuffing the food in to manage my minimum amount. Yesterday my caloric intake was 1660 and that was with last minute eating at 1:30 in the morning. I can't keep stuffing in last minute calories at all hours of the morning because it's not healthy to eat so late.

At the same time, I know it isn't healthy to cut too much from your maintenance calories. But I sincerely feel completely satisfied at the moment with only 1345 calories behind me for the day. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that my diet is so, so much more nutritious than it used to be, so my body is happier on less because quality is better than quantity. Today I had a half serving of spinach, three servings of tomato, two servings of broccoli, a serving of carrots, two clementines, and an apple. That's a lot of fruits and veggies there. :D I'm so proud.

Oh well. I'm going to try to cram in a few more calories in about a half hour so I don't pass out tomorrow or something.
 
I just had a glass of milk and a spoon-full of peanut butter after realizing fat made up only 10% of my calorie intake for the day and wanting to give it a quick boost. That brought it up to 15%. :D It was lovely and very enjoyable. It also brought up my calories for the day to 1665, which is acceptable. :)

Clearly I am now required to stay awake for another two hours. :p Time to break out a good movie.
 
I don't know if you are the same, but i find if i feel i am really full on like 1100-1200 calories, that if i just eat a little more (say a bowl of fruit) that i will get much more hungry. Its like a strange buffer zone. Anyway, i would try to stay a bit closer to your maintenance calories myself.

It was explained as the following to me at one time:

Right now, you are 278 lbs, and eating (lets say hypothetically) 1400 calories/day, and losing weight. As you lose weight, your metabolism changes, and your body gets used to the calorie intake. The way to deal with this is to decrease your intake, assuming you maintain the same activity level. Well, if you are already starting at 1400 calories, which is quite low, you don't have much room to decrease your calories any lower than that. If you start closer to 1800 calories (or whichever) you have alot more room to decrease intake as need be as you lose weight.

Just something to think about.
 
I don't know if you are the same, but i find if i feel i am really full on like 1100-1200 calories, that if i just eat a little more (say a bowl of fruit) that i will get much more hungry. Its like a strange buffer zone. Anyway, i would try to stay a bit closer to your maintenance calories myself.

It was explained as the following to me at one time:

Right now, you are 278 lbs, and eating (lets say hypothetically) 1400 calories/day, and losing weight. As you lose weight, your metabolism changes, and your body gets used to the calorie intake. The way to deal with this is to decrease your intake, assuming you maintain the same activity level. Well, if you are already starting at 1400 calories, which is quite low, you don't have much room to decrease your calories any lower than that. If you start closer to 1800 calories (or whichever) you have alot more room to decrease intake as need be as you lose weight.

Just something to think about.

Yeah, I know I shouldn't be cutting so many calories so early on, but it's kind of... addictive. I thought recently that I can see how easy it could be to become anorexic. It makes you feel powerful to have control over what you eat or don't eat. This morning I had a larger breakfast than normal (280 calories instead of the usual 175) by adding 15 g of all-bran cereal to my special K and another 120 g of milk, trying to get myself off to a good start so that I can eat closer to 1800 calories today than the 1650 I've done the last two days.

Thanks so much for the advice. :)
 
This morning I did (at least) 30 minutes (I wasn't keeping close track of time, but I do know it was at least a half hour because I saw the clock at one point was a quarter 'till and when I stopped it was a quarter after the hour) of strength training. Even though I can't do anything high-impact because of my back, I decided that the least I can do is strength train.

So I did the following:

Warm-up/Stretching
20 partial crunches
10 cat stretches
10 camel stretches
20 pelvic tilts

Weight-lifting
30 Bench flies
10 Upright rows
20 lateral raises
20 curls (on each side)
45 various leg lifts I do not know the name of, hehe. (on each side)

Cool-down
Stretched out my arms and legs for a couple minutes... but I dunno what the stretches are called yet. Haha.

My back has been doing very well for two days. I did not take the meds yesterday or today, so I felt really confident that I am ready to take this first step to being more active again. :)

Haha, during the bench flies I could feel the area right beneath my breasts trembling, and I loooooved it so I did more of them than anything else. I kept thinking "Ah, perky breasts, here I come." :D
 
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Hi


I was reading your diary and just a idee is adding some sort of protein to your breakfast! It helps to bring up calories and with energie level!
 
Hi


I was reading your diary and just a idee is adding some sort of protein to your breakfast! It helps to bring up calories and with energie level!

Thanks for the suggestion!

Milk has protein in it and even my cereal had 4 grams in it. So there were 12 grams of protein in my breakfast this morning. Are you saying I should have more protein than that in my breakfast or that it should specifically be protein from meat?

But I've actually been trying to get more protein in my diet overall. One of my big problems is protein. I'm a former vegetarian and even though I eat meat now, it's still really hard for me to eat some things. I can't make myself eat eggs. I can barely eat deli meat... I've had shaved chicken, which I can tolerate, and I tried turkey deli slices but it just makes me gag. I'm doing well with fish (I love salmon and tilapia) and I eat crab sometimes, and I'm good with chicken and steak. But I still don't eat as much meat as someone else would. I am managing about 60 to 80 grams of protein a day at this point, out of roughly 1600 to 1800 calories daily.

Edit: Sausages give me the creeps. I just can't do it. Haha. What can I say? This is what happens when you don't eat meat for 14 years.
 
I just did another half hour of strength training. :) I used a calculator to estimate how many calories I burned in the time that I strength trained today and it's a bit more than 250 calories for light muscle conditioning for 50 minutes (I subtracted roughly 10 minutes for any small breaks I took during it).

I'm going to do this every day. :)
 
I would suggest cottage cheese to increase your protein! :) I had 1 cup for breakfast this morning. :)

I can't get by now unless my breakfast is around 400-500 calories! So that helps me increase my overall intake quite a bit.

I also dislike sausages. The only kind i like is a very specific kind of maple turkey sausage...but i never buy it myself ( sometimes my mom cooks them ) :)
 
I would suggest cottage cheese to increase your protein! :) I had 1 cup for breakfast this morning. :)

I can't get by now unless my breakfast is around 400-500 calories! So that helps me increase my overall intake quite a bit.

I also dislike sausages. The only kind i like is a very specific kind of maple turkey sausage...but i never buy it myself ( sometimes my mom cooks them ) :)

Hehe, I've never had cottage cheese. I always avoided it because it looked strange to me. But I will give it a try at least once, just because you suggested it. :) I'll buy some next time I go grocery shopping. Any brand recommendations?
 
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