I have changed so much in the last month and a half and it amazes me and makes me feel there's no way I could ever go back now. The thought that I could go back to the way things used to be is unthinkable. If I ever did it would be an enormous mistake because the way things are now is so, so good. I feel so in charge and... safe. I don't know if anyone else understands that or has felt it, but I do. I feel safe... like I can trust myself now to do what is right for my body. I was thinking about all the things that have changed and this is just a short list I compiled.
1. I bought prevention magazine last week. I bought Fitness magazine this week. I really, really liked reading both. I find reading them to be extremely motivating and entertaining. I can't say I had ever bought a fitness or health magazine in my entire life before.
2. Two words: cottage cheese. Haha.

3. Today's my one off-day for cardio. I did 35 minutes of cardio
anyway. I feel really restless if I don't workout, like something is just missing or wrong. Most of all, I enjoy it like a hobby, not a chore I am obligated to do.
4. I was really disappointed knowing I would be without my weights for a week. I did
not think "Oooooh, now I have an excuse to be lazy and not weight-lift until I get back home". In general, I'm a lot less lazy than I used to be.
5. I am no longer consumed with thoughts of chocolate all day long. I am no longer consumed with thoughts of ice cream all day long. I haven't craved chocolate and ice cream in weeks. When I had the tiniest slice of ice cream cake for a friend's birthday yesterday (at her request, even!), it was... anticlimactic. It wasn't at all what it used to be.

Junk food doesn't have control over me anymore.
I know there are probably still a lot more changes to come and I'm ready for them with open arms. I'm looking forward to becoming who I should have been from the start, without all the weight and addictions and bad choices holding me back.