Tracy's Diary

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tdjohnson

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Hi all! I'm brand new to these forums, so I'll introduce myself. I'm Tracy, and I'm tired of hating what I see in the mirror. I'm tired of thinking "well, I won't hit my goal by that date, looks like I'll just wear a one piece," or "well I've already gone over my calorie intake for the day so I'll just keep eating." So that's why I'm here.

I'm a runner, an overweight runner. They say you can't out-run a poor diet and that is the absolute truth. I'm a 5'2" female and I weigh 145 pounds. I carry most weight in my hips and thighs (hereditary) but now it's showing in my stomach and arms.

So I'm your typical active person who over eats. I keep a calorie journal on My Fitness Pal, but no one sees it. I feel like knowing people are looking at what I'm eating will make a difference.

So what do my days typically look like? Nothing but water. Greek yogurt for breakfast, fruit for a snack, a baked chicken salad for lunch, fruit for a second snack, and then a fairly healthy dinner followed by an ice cream sandwich. Usually a 45-60 minute cardio workout is squeezed in there. Fairly healthy right? Until the weekend, or until I get stressed (as was the issue today). Then I go all out.

Today, for example (actually this week...), my schedule is out of whack and I have extra duties at work so I'm stressed AND out of the norm.

So, here is my first food diary entry:

Breakfast:
Detox drink (honey, lemon, apple cider vinegar, cinnamon, ginger, cayenne) - 50 calories
Peanut Butter Crunch Greek Yogurt - 170 calories
Lunch:
(Let's just say I tried to find real food today and it didn't happen, so I ate the same amount of calories I normally would have lol)
3 Apple Fruit and Grain Cereal Bars - 420 calories
Dinner:
Pizza. Yes. You all know where this goes. Two slices isn't satisfying. And then once two pieces are eaten and I realize I've eaten 800+ calories in pizza I figure, "whatever, I'll just eat half this thing."
1/2 an extra large Italian style Walmart pizza - 1,600 calories
Dessert:
2 ice cream sandwiches - 320 calories

So, I know (obviously) what is wrong here. And no, this isn't a typical day. But this happens 2-3 times a week. I think, if I'm here admitting to you all what I eat every day, I will be much less likely to splurge like this.

I've also pulled/strained a muscle and will be going to the doctor this weekend. So the amount of running (and most cardio, if anyone has suggestions for cardio with an injured hip, I'm all ears) I'm able to do right now is pretty limited... along with my schedule at work being wonky and not being near our on campus gym. So I feel extra gross.

Thank you all for providing support and a way for me to remain accountable!
 
Welcome to the forum!! I am definitely no stranger to the odd binge (used to be a lot more frequent for sure!) It can be really frustrating because even if you have 4-5 spot on days the other couple can undo the whole week.

Being accountable to others definitely helps!
 
Hi, Tracy & a great big welcome to our forum. Firstly I think you have to take a little step back & read what you just told us. You are being WAY too hard on yourself. If you can wear a one piece in public I say good for you! If you eat well most of the time, I say good for you! Honey- you have to start being kinder to yourself. There are not many of us here who do not overeat when stressed. It's horrible, it makes us feel much worse & it doesn't help anything or anyone.
It's really hard to change what we do without changing how we feel about ourselves. I am sure that you are someone who deserves to be healthy & happy. I don't know you at all, but I am sure of that. If you want support, you have it, xo Cate.
 
allthefoods said:
It can be really frustrating because even if you have 4-5 spot on days the other couple can undo the whole week.
Click to expand...

Exactly! Though it may be mostly water weight, it takes me the entire week to feel "normal" again.

Cate-
That is true, but unfortunately I think we all live with being our own worst critics. I've gone through phases (at the same weight I'm at now) where I hate my body one day, I'm fine with it the next, the next I'm all "oh girl you got curves," and then go back to hating it. I think a lot of it has to do with my activity level and what I'm eating. If I'm doing poorly, I feel poorly. If I'm active and eating well, I'm happy no matter what I've got going on.
 
I'm hoping this attachment works well. (Update: it didn't) (Update: NOW it's attaching)

I didn't hit 1,200 calories today.

To explain a little better about my schedule this week, I typically work in the same office with the same hours. 7-4 with an hour lunch (assuming I can pull away lol). On campus, I have access to two gyms as well as plenty of road to run. This week I've been offsite and my hours have been more like 6:30-4/5/6/whenever I can get away and with no lunch breaks at all. Thankfully today I brought my lunch, whereas yesterday I depended on what food I could find.

For me, what I eat sets the tone for what I eat the rest of the day, which is why I often turn down the never-fails-Friday-morning-doughnuts in spite of my deep love for them. So to have junky fake fruit and grain cereal bars yesterday put me in a swing of "whatever!!"

Also thankfully today, my husband made dinner. Just when I was driving home an hour and a half later than usual thinking "I could pick up dinner," he texted to let me know tacos were in the oven. He's a saint.
 
Another day of not hitting 1,200 calories. I need to figure out where to add something in. Breakfast, perhaps? I'm not really ever hungry until right around "feeding time," so I don't feel like I'm not eating enough. Maybe a couple of egg whites in the morning with the yolks in my salad (I used to do this and LOVED it!) would be an idea. Or maybe some grains since croutons are really the only carb I eat. I'll figure it out
 
Some nuts perhaps? A little Hommus? A banana..... Getting that minimum of 1200 is really important to keep your metabolism working. You will work it out. It takes time to work out what's right for you. Cheers, Cate.
 
Cate- nuts are a good idea! I keep unsalted pistachios in my desk at work. I have just managed to forget about them

I hit 1,257 today! Actually, a little over that with tanking two of my husband's McDonald's fries and five gummy bears after I screen shot my calories... but at least I admit to it (and I do not feel guilty about it lol)!
 
I made it to the doctor today to find out about my swollen hip. Turns out I won't be able to start a weight routine for awhile, because I may have a hernia, fun! Thankfully, if it is one, it's a small one.

He cleared me for running, though, so I'll keep on keeping on until after surgery (if it is one) for however long I need

I hit 1,233 calories today. I really like to eat between 1,300-1,500 but I didn't work out today so I probably didn't need those extra calories. I'm still staying full (or, not hungry, at least!) and have energy so I'm happy with that for now!
 
Not some of the best food choices, but not some of the worst.

I'm concerned how the next couple of weeks will go. My inlaws are coming in town tomorrow so I won't be able to pre-plan my foods. I have no idea if they plan on cooking or what. I may end up just cooking my own little meal each night.
 
Do the best you can Tracy. Will they be staying with you? When anyone stays with us, they usually eat what we eat.
 
I'm hoping one of these days I can get around to reading other posts on these boards! It's been a heck of a week.

I wasn't able to get a lunch in today. I ate extra trail mix (which I'm trying to get rid of) to get my calories in, though.

They come in tonight, so we'll see what the next several days hold
 
I didn't count calories Saturday or Sunday, it was pretty bad. But I'm back in the swing of things. Tomorrow we're getting take-out (I think) so hopefully whatever they choose will have decent choices that also taste good.
 
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